Ed: Thanks for joining us this week.. we have a great card lined up including two title matches. I'm Ed Bagel and this is my broadcast colleague Stevie Cheesecake. Now, Stevie.. I hear you will be talking with Amazon Woman later in this card.
Stevie: I'm just as puzzles as you are. All I know is that she said she had something she needed to get off her chest.. and I'm sure glad she picked me to tell.
Ed: Hmm.. something doesn't sound right here, but before we can get to that interview, let's go down to ringside for our first match.
This match is one fall:
The Shocker vs. Stacks Coltrain
Ed: Lock up.. Shocker quickly nails Stacks with a double axhandle chop, and small package.. one.. kickout by Stacks. Stacks misses with a savate kick and Shocker runs her over with football tackle. The Shocker misses with a kneedrop and Stacks quickly uses the Northern light suplex.. one.. two.. kickout by Shocker.
Stevie: Stacks goes to the top rope, moonsault and cover.. one.. two.. three! She beat him.
Ed: That has got to be considered an upset.
Stevie: I've got an interview.. I'll be back...
The winner is Stacks Coltrain. Time of match: 0:01:49
Stevie: Joining me at this time is the NEW North American Champion, Amazon Woman
[Amazon Woman makes her way to ringside, carrying the North American Championship draped across her shoulder. The crowd is booing her and she stops halfway down and looks around with disdain. She holds her hand high, making an obscene gesture and then continues to ringside]
Stevie: First, let me congratulate you on winning the North American Championship from JetStream and on your successful title defense last week.
Amazon Woman: As if JetStream, or Colt could actually ever beat me.
Stevie: Speaking of JetStream, we had comments from him last week regarding your victory over him. I don't think he was all that pleased.
Amazon: Of course he's not pleased! I beat his ass! I pinned it carcass to the ring and that was it. New champion. Me! Now.. he can run his mouth all he likes, but he's going to have to grow up and get used to the fact that I'm the North American Champion.. not him. And Rachel... don't think I've forgotten about you. I've beaten you before.. and I have yet to get a crack at your title. When I do.. I will own both of these belts.
Stevie: So you are gunning for the OWA Champion as well?
Amazon: Of course, isn't everyone?
Stevie: Well.. of course... now.. you told me privately, that you had a special announcement you'd like to give.. maybe we can get to that now.
Amazon: [Giving a little smile] Well, Stevie.. you know I've been known as a loner for quite some time... always doing things my own way.. and on my own.. Never depended on anyone. Being on my own has brought me to the TV title, the OWA Title and now the North American title... but.. something was always missing... and I think I know what it is.
Stevie: [Looking confused] Okay.. what is it then?
Amazon: I.. I.. I think I'm in love....
Stevie: Umm.. excuse me? You said you were in love?
Amazon: [Nodding] Yes... I think so..
Stevie: [Smiling and getting a swelled head] Well.. Amazon Woman.. I never knew you had these feelings for me..
Amazon: [Snapping] Not you, lame brain! Someone else.. an OWA wrestler.. I.. I cannot say just yet.. but next week, I will let everyone know who it is.
[She walks off and back to the locker room.]
Stevie: There you have it.. back to you Ed..
Ed: Well.. I'm not sure what to say... let's go down to ringside...
This match is one fall.
Anthony Hazard vs. Gustaffson
Ed: This ought to be a great contest... hand shake and lock up... Gustaffson muscles Hazard with a front slam... Hazard goes for a drop-kick but Gustaffson moves out of the way. German suplex by Gustaffson. One.. two.. kickout by Hazard.. he's in trouble early on in this match.
Stevie: The Giant will take care of this Hazard guy with no problem. Hey.. belly to belly by Hazard, that barely phases the Giant though, as he powerslams Hazard down to the mat. Gustaffson whips Hazard into the corner.. nope.. reversal... Gustaffson bounces out of the corner and Hazard nails him with an elbow.
Ed: Flying clothesline by Hazard.. and another... but the Giant refuses to fall. Hazard hits Gustaffson with a flying shoulderblock. Hazard with another flying clothesline, but the Giant ducks down and delivers a kick to the midsection of Hazard.
Stevie: Gustaffson has him up... on the turnbuckle and superplex! Cover.. one.. two.. three!!!
The winner is Gustaffson. Time of match: 0:07:23
Myers: This is Myers Watterson for your Crazy Eights Update! Before we announce more OWA competitors into the Crazy Eights Event, note that next week, we'll have names of the ICWF wrestlers who will be competing in this event. For now, let's take a look as some action involving two ICWF superstars, MegaDiesel and Vixxen.
MegaDiesel vs. ViXXXen (courtesy of the ICWF)
Jessie: Coming up is something of a grudge match here in the ICWF. A couple of shows back, MegaDiesel scored a big win over the Kingpin's charge, ViXXXen. Well, she's challenged him to a return match, with a special stipulation. Here's Mike Duffer with the introductions.
Duffer: This contest is scheduled for one fall with no time limit..... Disqualification rules have been waived, and pinfalls will count ANYWHERE.......Introducing first....from the Gangsta's Paradise... 317 lbs...Here is "Mega Daddy Kewl"....MEGADIESEL!!!!!
[Big pop for the big man, mostly from the marks.]
And his opponent....from Every Man's Fantasies......accompanied to the ring by her manager.....the International Manager of Champions, the Kingpin...[Huge boos from the crowd] weighing in at 124 lbs....this is ViXXXeN!!!!!
[ViXXXeN comes to ringside followed by The Kingpin. She is dressed in jeans, work boots, and a bikini top. Her long red hair is tied in a huge ponytail behind her head. The crowd is torn, half booing, half chanting "I Want ViXXXeN" She cracks her whip as she steps into the ring.]
Jessie: Sounds like the crowd still doesn't know what to make of The Kingpin's latest acquisition.
Chad: Every man in this place is on his feet for ViXXXeN. She's the hottest woman in the ICWF!
Jessie: Pinfalls count anywhere in this one...
Chad: The parking lot! The concession stand! The locker room! It doesn't matter! Someone's getting pinned today!
Jessie: Well, there's the bell....here we go! Collar and elbow tie up....MegaDiesel shoves ViXXXeN off....and she's through the ropes to the floor already! MegaDiesel has a HUGE size and strength advantage here.. MegaDiesel goes through the ropes...on the floor now...what's that he just grabbed?
Chad: It's the timekeeper's hammer!
Jessie: Wham! He just nailed ViXXXeN with the hammer! MegaDiesel is going for the pin!
No! ViXXXeN is out! MegaDiesel complaining about a slow count.
[The match rages on for another 10 minutes, with MegaDiesel using everything in the building to hammer ViXXXeN. The two brawl all the way up the ramp, all around the inside of the arena, and finally end up on the foyer outside of the front of the arena.]
Jessie: They're outside now! This one has been crazy! We've seen tables fly, garbage cans, ViXXXeN throwing that crockpot full of scalding nacho cheese in the face of MegaDiesel...it's lunacy! OW! ViXXXeN thrown to the guardrail before the front steps...MegaDiesel charging....OH MY! NO! ViXXXeN just ducked and MegaDiesel is rolling end over end down the stairs! There have to be a hundred stairs out there! He's not moving...oh, he's hurt. He has to be hurt.
Chad: This has been BRUTAL! Megadork is down at the bottom of the stairs now...where in the hell is ViXXXeN going?!
Jessie: ViXXXeN turning and re-entering the arena...she's marching through the crowd...over the barricade now and into the ring. What is she doing?
Chad: Meanwhile, the Megadummy is still out cold on the sidewalk outside the arena!
Jessie: The whip! She's got her whip, and she is barreling up the aisle! She climbs the barricade, and ViXXXeN is running through the arena, and out the front door!
Chad: He's in for a whoopin' now!
Jessie: OH NO! Look at her just beat MegaDiesel's unconscious body with that whip! He's going to have marks for the rest of his life!
Chad: ViXXXeN really going to work on Megadolt, now...she's got the whip around his neck and is dragging him around the parking lot! This is INSANE!
Jessie: ViXXXeN with MegaDiesel up over her head and....OH NO! She just slammed him through the windshield of a car! She climbs in and lays on top of him...someone get a referee over there!
Jessie: That's it! ViXXXeN has defeated MegaDiesel, and he looks hurt badly...the Paramedics are coming out in droves, and look at ViXXXeN, parading around like that...this is disgusting!
Chad: That's what grudge matches are all about! We'll see how tough the MegaDrip is after this, if he can come back...the U.S. title is in trouble...ViXXXeN is coming!
Duffer: [inside arena] Here is your winner....representing the Soldiers of the First World.....ViXXXeN!!!!!!!!
Now.. there will be some single matches assigned for this event and one we know of for sure is Nabiki Yen taking on her former tag team partner Prince Frederick.
Now.. let's get to the battle royals.
First we know that Battle Royal number one will feature these OWA Superstars: OWA TV Champion Intimidator, Traci Lane, Johnny Stallion, and Johnny Blades and that Battle Royal number two will feature these OWA Superstars: OWA's North American Champion Amazon Woman, JetStream, Colt, and Masked Mayhem.
Now for Battle Royal number three, the OWA will be using, Gustaffson, Anthony Hazard, Stacks Coltrain and Mike Mustang. And for Battle Royal number four, it'll be Sabin Figaro, Scott Cobalt, Executioner and Stealth V.
Next week we should have more names announced as well as ICWF entries into this battle royal fest. Let's get back to the action with Ed and Stevie.
OWA Championship Contender's Match: JetStream vs. Traci Lane
Ed: Here we go.. this is an important match up here.. the winner will get a title shot at Rachel Ryan here next week. Lock up.. JetStream with a whip.. JetStream nails Traci with an elbow. JetStream with another whip.. he goes for a body drop, but Traci turns it into a Russian legsweep.
Stevie: JetStream is up and nails Lane with a short clothesline. JetStream tries for a piledriver, but Lane turns it into a backdrop. Spinebuster slam by the Femme... one.. kickout by JetStream. Lane with body slam.. and a backbreaker. Lane with a back suplex.
Ed: Lane with a whip.. reversal by JetStream.. JetStream nails Traci with a diving elbow smash. JetStream sets up and nails Traci with a diving shoulderblock. Elbowdrop by JetStream.. and another. Cover by JetStream.. one.. two.. kickout by Traci.
Stevie: JetStream goes for a running forearm smash, but Lane moves and he nails the ref.. Lane with a roll up.. but there's no ref to count.. Lane goes for a spinebuster, but JetStream counters with a swinging neckbreaker. Cover by JetStream.. and again there's no referee to count.
Ed: Hold on.. here comes Amazon Woman.. what's she doing out here...
Stevie: Ohh.. maybe she's in love with Traci Lane?
Ed: What are you talking about... she pulls JetStream out of the ring and runs him head first into the ringpost...
Stevie: What's she doing now?
Ed: Oh no.. running powerslam on the floor... she rolls him back in.. I don't think Lane saw a thing...
Stevie: Well.. she probably won't.. Amazon has run out of here like a thief in the night.
Ed: What's going on here.. Lane is up.. she is setting up JetStream... she nails him with the Gorilla Press Piledriver.. and cover.. one.. two.. three! It's over.. Lane wins this.. though I don't think she'll be all that happy when she finds out what exactly happened here.
Stevie: Hey.. a win is a win is a win...
The winner is Traci Lane. Time of match: 16:53
Shelly Marks: And now folks here are a few words from the Mighty Shogun.
Shogun: First I would like to say Intimidator, you were lucky this time, next time around your belt will be around my waist. And as for Mariko, you better watch your back because after the injury you gave me I'm out to cripple you, girl!!!!
Marks: And Shogun do you have any words for your ex-partner Larry Brown.
Shogun: Oh yes I do!!!! You thought I forgot about that incident, when decided to go against me when I was injured. Well guest what loser!!! The feud has just begun and remember what comes around goes around. Well I challenge you to a grudge match in a steel cage!!! Can you handle it WIMP.....
Marks: Well there you have it folks Shogun has just challenged Larry Brown. I guess we'll have to wait and see what Larry will do......
OWA TV Championship. Intimidator vs. Mike Mustang
Ed: Championship on the line.. lock up by the two.. Whip my Mustang.. reversal by Intimidator. Intimidator misses with a clothesline. Intimidator recovers with a savate kick. Facerake by Mustang.. and...
Stevie: Haha.. he's biting him.. Intimidator misses with a punch. Roll up by Mustang.. one.. two.. three! We have a new champion.
The winner, and NEW OWA TV Champion is Mike Mustang. Time of match: 1:38
[Screen is filled with images of the battle royal at Press Your Luck.. we see Executioner eliminate Stealth V. ]
Announcer: It was every man for himself and Executioner eliminated Stealth V. Now Stealth V wants another shot. Next week on OWA Championship Wrestling, Executioner takes on Stealth V.
[Scene is a palace of some sort.... Sitting on the throne is Prince Frederick and at his side is his chief of security, WildShadow.]
Prince: Well.. well.. well... Press Your Luck is here and gone.. [turning to WildShadow] Congratulation on your win over myself... everyone can get lucky once in a while. [WildShadow smirks at that] But now we are on to new business, namely one Monica Brant who has taken it upon herself to speak the name of Prince Frederick in public and in a non-polite manner. Ms. Mrs..... or *chuckle* Mr. Brant.. whatever you are.. I suggest you reconsider your recent verbal retorts and give me an apology and I won't bother with you any longer. However if there is no apology by next week, I will have to show you what royalty is all about, inside that ring. Again.. you have seven days to apologize to me, or it will be your own undoing. [he waves off the camera] Now get out of here. I have some rest I need to get.
Ed: It also looks like Traci Lane will be getting a title shot at Rachel Ryan next week as well. And Sabin Figaro who was suppose to take on Intimidator next week for the OWA TV Championship, will be taking on Mike Mustang instead.
Stevie: Stop your blabbering with the obvious and let's get on with our main event.
OWA Tag Team Championship: The Extremists vs. Mariko/Monica Brant.
Ed: Looks like Johnny Blades will be starting out along with Monica Brant. And he attacks her before the bell.. Blades nails her with a punch to the jaw.. Blades applies a clawhold, but Brant counters with an elbow to the midsection.
Stevie: Blades is all over Brant with a flying bulldog.. how about that Prince Frederick.. do you think Brant will give him an apology?
Ed: Not hardly.. Blades with an abdominal stretch, but Brant quickly hiptosses out of that and makes a tag to Mariko. Mariko and Brant nail blades with a double clothesline and Brant leaves the ring. Mariko applies a chokehold to Blades, as the ref counts, one.. two.. three.. Mariko releases the hold.
Stevie: Mariko whips Blades into the ropes.. Mariko nails him with an elbow.. and powerslam by Mariko.. cover.. one.. two.. kickout by Blades. Blades with a small package. One.. kickout by Mariko. Blades ducks a savate kick by Mariko and nails her with a superkick.
Ed: Mariko makes a tag to Monica, who charges in and nails Blades with a chop. Blades nails her with a drop kick and applies a Boston crab, but Mariko comes in to make the save. Blades executes a nice Russian legsweep.
Stevie: Monica Brant runs into the ropes and misses with a shoulderblock. Blades tags out to Maxx. Blades and Maxx nail Monica with a double DDT and Maxx goes for the cover, while Blades block Mariko.. one.. two.. three!
The winners, and still OWA Tag Team Champions, Danny Maxx and Johnny Blades. Time of match: 25:36
Ed: That's all the time we have for this week.. next week.. Lane vs. Ryan, Mustang vs. Figaro, and Brant vs. Frederick.. plus Amazon Woman will tell us who she is in love with. Until then, we'll see you next week.