}

Previously on OWA Championship Wrestling

[Biff]
Mustang tries for a Northern light suplex, but Mariko reverses it with a nice belly-to-back suplex. Kneedrop by Mariko and cover.. one.. two... kickout by Mustang. Mustang quickly rakes the eyes, and jackknife power bomb... this could be it...
[Ed]
Cover by Mustang.. one.. two.. th.. no kickout by Mariko.. Mustang with a whip... Mariko ducks a thrust kick and nails him with the Spinning Crescent Kick!!! Cover by Mariko.. one.. two.. three!!!! Winner of the match and **NEW** OWA TV Champion, Mariko!

{Following her TV Title victory} 
[Mariko]
Well, my fine OWA friends, I have said many times I will be Champion. It is true and the Mustang had to find out the hard way. Let this be a lesson to all you believe they can defeat me. I am a Champion and will remain one for a long time. you will see my power and prowess at the Crazy 8's, a formidable task, yet one I am very well suited for. The OWA has only begun to see what a great Champion I am. Soon this ICWF will also discover my abilities. Sayonara

[Ed]
Welcome to OWA Championship Wrestling. I'm Ed Bagel and with me is 'the Voice' Biff Franklin.. 
[Biff]
'The Golden Voice'.. I'm hear to lend you my insight and expertise to this otherwise dull program. 
[Ed]
Er... whatever.. This week.. OWA Champion Rachel Ryan has a title defense against Stacks Coltrain. We'll also see the debut of a new tag team here in the OWA, Sagin Figaro and new partner, MegaDiesel, collectively known as Brawlers, Inc. 
[Biff]
A couple a weenies if you ask me.. hey.. let's go...

{Johnny Fate approaches the broadcast booth} 
[Ed sighs]
Okay now let's get this over with. What did you come here to tell everyone. 
[Johnny]
I came here to talk about my behavior last week...I really..... very.... truly.... deeply.... HAPPY about what I did to WildShadow! I think that it was rather funny! 
[Ed]
Right.. whatever.. are you quite done now?? 
[Johnny]
Oh, and I'm sure people are losing sleep over it! 
[Ed]
Johnny why are you doing this? Why did you come in to the OWA and reek havok on everything and everyone? 
[Johnny]
You wanna know why? Because I can! I can because no one can stop me! I can because people are afraid of me! I can because I'm Johnny Fate! WildShadow don't forget that either! After our match is done you own mother won't recognize you! Anything Goes! Remember that! Anything can happen! I could accedently throw him into the commenting table. Or even better I could bust his head open with my "Fate Pipe"! WildShdow remember......Fate is knocking on your door!! [Johnny pushes Ed, and walks away laughing]

[Biff]
Heh.. let's go down to ringside for our first match of the night.

Mr. Excitement vs. Gustaffson

[Ed]
Here we go.. lock up.. Headlock by Excitement.. and the Giant pushes him into the ropes.. Excitment misses with a clothesline.. Gustaffson comes off the other side and Excitment nails him with a powerslam... Excitement off the ropes.. and Gus catches him.. spinning power bomb.. this one could be over.. one.. two.. and no.. kickout by Excitement.. 
[Biff]
The big guy with a DDT.. he picks up excitment and nails him with a double ax handle chop.. Gustaffson whips Excitement into the corner and rushes in, but Excitement moves out of the way.. Excitment with a bulldog.. and legdrop.. cover.. one.. two.. kickout by the Giant.. 
[Ed]
Gustaffson misses with a short clothesline.. Excitment with an atomic drop... Excitment tries for a flying headscissors piledriver, but Gustaffson turns it to a jack-knife powerbomb! Drop piledriver by the giant and he covers.. one.. two.. three... Winner of the match, Gustaffson. Time of match: 5:20

{'Misty' Monica Brant is in the middle of an intense workout in an exclusive gym. She's surrounded by famous athletes, celeberaties, and well-known powermongers. She works the weights like a woman possessed, sweat only adding to her attracive physique. She finishes her set, and well-known body builder Dorian Yates comes over.} 
[Dorian]
Nice set! What did you have for breakfast? 
[Monica]
It's not what I had, Dorian, just who I had it with. {Monica flashes a seductive smile, and Dorian shakes his head. Monica moves toward the camera while the massive man takes her place at the machine.} 
[Monica]
I've just got a few things I want to get off my chest before I head to the showers. First, I want to apologise to my stable-mates, the Femmes. Because of this...situation with Steve Cheesehead, and my travel scehdule, we haven't been in contact as much as we should be. I'm going to change that, soon. 

Second, Amazon Woman. Let's face it, doll, you're one the best wrestlers in the OWA, bar none. You've had titles, awards, impressive wins...everything I want. In fact, the only thing you have that I don't want is Prince Fredrick...you can keep that toad. I just hope that all that kissing eventually turns him back into a frog. 

To come to the point, Amazon, I want you in the ring, before or after Crazy Eights. Let's call it...a taste of things to come. 

[Monica smiles again, and walks toward a body-builder who's heading toward the showers. She walks up next to him and asks if he wants a real workout, just as the camera fades.] 

Scott Cobalt vs. Sentry

[Ed]
Okay.. this should be a good match.. we have a lock up.. front face lock by Sentry... Cobalt is trapped for a few moments before turning it to a side headlock.. both men get to their feet, Cobalt holds the headlock.. Sentry pushes Cobalt into the ropes.. Cobalt misses a clothesline and Sentry nails him with a backdrop.. 
[Biff]
Sentry with a legdrop and a cover.. one.. two.. kickout by Cobalt.. Sentry runs into the ropes... he comes off, but Cobalt nails him with a belly-to-belly suplex.. Cobalt with an elbowsmash.. Sentry comes off the ropes and hits with a drop kick.. he goes to the top turnbuckle.. Cobalt catches him, and nails him with a superplex. Cover.. one.. two.. th.. no.. kickout by Sentry... 
[Ed]
Cobalt off the ropes.. Sentry nails him with a clothesline.. leg drop by Sentry... he picks up Cobalt.. and sets him up.. Crucifix Slam by Sentry.. and cover.. 
[Biff]
Holdup.. Asian Invasion has just hit ringside... he's attacking Sentry... Asian Invasion with a headscissors on Sentry... and Sentry is hurt.. Asian Invasion leaves ringside.. Winner by DQ is Sentry. Time of Match: 3:43 
[Ed]
Shelly Marks is on her way to speak with Asian Invasion.. let's go to that now...

[Shelly]
I'm back in the locker room with Asian Invasion.. listen, guy, you've been ranting and raving here in the OWA, and now you're attacking people..... what's going on? 
[Asian Invasion]
Listen up OWA!!! You all have been running for too long from Asian Invasion. I can take out anyone in the OWA, ANYONE!!! And I intend to do that. I will destroy anyone that gets in my way. But, there is a way to escape the emminate destruction of the OWA super stars. I am starting my own pack, if you will. The Evil Destroyers will soon run the OWA, so just tell me "Asian Invasion, I'm sick of the OWA hiding from my amazing skills, let me in!!!" Any wrestlers that want to save themselves a beating must come join The Evil Destroyers. But first, I'd like to extent an invitation to Prince Frederick, Amazon Woman and Jetstream to come join and you will be saved. 
[Shelly]
Heh.. back to you Ed..

Johnny Fate vs. Masked Mayhem

[Ed]
This is Johnny's first match against an OWAer.. hopefully he can back up that mouth of his.. 
[Biff]
I'll tell him you said so.. 
[Ed]
Heh.. Fate attacks Mayhem before the bell.. but Mayhem catches it. Enzuilariato by Masked Mayhem.. and a flying body press.. Fate is dazed.. he gets up and runs into the ropes.. and clothesline by Mayhem.. and a tiger driver... Fate rolls out of the ring to take a breather.. he gets back in and nails Mayhem with a kick to the midsection.. 
[Biff]
Stomachbreaker by Johnny.. Mayhem goes for a chokehold.. referee counts.. one two three.. break.. and he applies it again.. one.. two.. three.. break.. and again he chokes.. one.. two.. three... break.. Mayhem runs off the ropes, but Fate nails him with a superkick.. whip by Fate and spinning leg lariat knocks Mayhem to the mat.. 
[Ed]
Fate with a whip.. he goes for a japanese armdrag takedown, but Mayhem nails him with an elbowsmash.. he throws Fate out of the ring.. and goes after him.. powerbomb by Mayhem.. Fate is in deep trouble here.. heh.. oh.. sorry.. Mayhem with a roundhouse kick.. and sleeperhold... Fate is going out.. 
[Biff]
Johnny makes it to the corner.. the ref makes Mayhem break.. hold on.. Fate just grabbed that pipe and NAILED Mayhem with it.. the ref is calling for the bell... Johnny picks up Mayhem and executes the rocker dropper.. he holds the pipe up and leaves the ring.. Winner of the match, by DQ: Masked Mayhem. Time of match: 21:02

Sabin Figaro/MegaDiesel vs. Sumwhatta Powers

[Ed]
Okay, fans, now we have a Tag Debut, Sabin Figaro and up until recently ICWF Superstar MegaDiesel tag teaming against the Sumwhatta-Powers, The Mortal Huckster and Brandy Fattage. 
[Biff]
Even these two idiots could beat Huckster and Fattage, they were having heartattacks in practice! 
[Ed]
The Bell has rung, and it'll be Mega Daddy Kewl in there against Fattage. Fattage... going to the top? He come off... Elbow off the top doesn't even fase the big man! MDK... picks up Brandy with one hand! Chokeslam! Picks him up again! Sidewalk slam! Mega tags in Sabin Figaro, Fattage tags in Huckster. 
[Biff]
Sabin runs in, Huckster misses the big boot... Sabin sneaks up with a Drop Toe Hold, and now with a elbow drop! Sabin picks up the Huckster... tags in MDK. MDK... Backbreaker and keeps him on his knee! Tags in Sabin... Sabin moonsaults off the top while Huckster is on the knee! Huckster's back is broken now... if it wasn't before. 
[F]
Cover by Sabin... one.. two.. three...

Winners of the match: Brawlers, Inc.

(Rachel Ryan is leaning under the hood of her '71 convertible Mustang Boss, digging at it with a wrench. Her thick blonde hair is tied back in a ponytail, and a cute dot of grease is on the tip of her nose. She's wearing cutoff denim short-shorts and a stained white half-tank that probably fit her when she was in high school. She turns toward the driver, Traci Lane, and says,) 
[Rachel]
Try it now!

(The motor turns over, then guns to life, purring with restrained power.) 
[Rachel]
YES!!! (The motor shuts off, and she high-fives Traci as she emerges.) I KNEW it was the solenoid. The starter's still fairly new. 
[Traci]
Good call. (Rachel closes the hood with a THUMP!) You've got Stacks this week. 
[Rachel]
Yeah, I know. I that isn't a problem for you. 
[Traci]
Not at all. Stacks is a big girl, and she knows what she's getting into. And I wish her well, but against the Femmes...she's not FAMILY. (They laugh. Traci looks past Rachel, and beckons to someone.) Hey, 'riko, Monica, what's going on?

(Mariko and Monica stroll up, wearing the right kind of revealing swimwear, fresh from the pool.) 
[Monica]
Hm? Oh, we were just doing some laps, and now it's time to work on the tan. 
[Rachel]
(She puts her arm around Mariko, who smiles shyly.) Hey, girl, you did it! Congrats on your first strap. It was great watching you put your foot into Mustang's mouth. 
[Mariko]
Hei, Rachel. He not understand that I leave Japan because of such attitudes. Maybe now he be MY servant. 
[Rachel]
(They all laugh.) Nah, he'd probably just sneak around stealing our underwear. But it's great that you've won--now the Femmes are one belt away from having it all! If anybody needed a clue that we're the BEST, they just got it! 
[Traci]
Monica, I was meaning to tell you how sorry I was for not being there when Stevie did what he did. I had no clue that little poof was going to jump you. 
[Monica]
Nobody did, Trace. That's the only reason he got away with it. And when I get my hands on him in Crazy 8's, I'm making sure he understands what a HUGE mistake he made. 
[Traci]
Is it time for a fashion statment? 
[Monica]
And HOW. 
[Rachel]
And who is it you've got, Trace? Executioner? 
[Traci]
Yeah. He's Stacks' partner. He'll be trouble, but I can take him.

(Striding in from off-panel is Gustaffson, clad in a swimsuit, wet like Monica and Mariko. He has an innertube encircling his waist.) 
[Rachel]
Gus! Buddy, what's up? 
[Gustaffson]
I vas svimming vith Monica and Mariko, ven suddenly dey disappear! I vas vondering vere dey vent! 
[Monica]
(Puts her arm around his waist.) Sorry, big guy, we just wanted to chat with Trace and Rachel a sec. 
[Gustaffson]
Yes! And I vill crush him like an egg! Traci destroyed him bevore, and I vill smash him now!

(Traci, Rachel, Mariko, and Monica exchange a sly look, and then begin slinking up against Gus.) 
[Rachel]
Gus...you know what time it is.... 
[Gustaffson]
(Turns red.) Uh...ALL of you? 
[Traci]
Well...sort of. (She nods, and they all hoist him above their heads. Gus stammers and splutters, struggling vainly. Whooping and laughing, they go charging off-screen; a few seconds later, a huge SPLASH is heard, followed by the sound of lighter bodies hitting the water. More laughter ensues, and then Gus' trunks land on the hood of the Mustang, as does a pair of shorts, and a bikini top, and....)

[Elaine Bryant]
We're moments away from Traci Lane vs. Executioner... I'm standing here with Executioner... you're on your way to face Traci Lane.. she's a former OWA Champion.. and the winner of this match will in no doubt be in line for some sorta title shot... any thoughts? 
[Executioner]
Traci Lane i have waited a long time to get you in the ring for a match, you were at one time a great Champion.. But your time has passed its time for a new and younger wrestler to take your place, and that wrestler is me Executioner... Traci you are gonna be the first Femme to fall before me and the Family, you have all avoided me up untill now, and i intend on making the best of this match and taking you down.....WHEW!! MOTOR CITY MADMAN TRACI, IM COMMING TO GET YOU!!!!

Traci Lane vs. Executioner

[Ed]
Lock up.. and Traci goes for a fisherman suplex.. but Executioner turns it into a small package.. one.. reversal by Traci.. one.. kickout by Executioner.. Traci hits him with a shoulderblock.. and elbowdrop.. Traci sets up for a spinebuster.. no.. swinging neckbreaker by Executioner.. 
[Biff]
Executioner off the ropes with a forearm smash... Executioner goes for a Northern lights suplex, but Lane blocks it.. backbreaker by Lane.. she follows it up with a russian legsweep.. cover.. one.. two.. kickout by Executioner.. Lane with a whip.. backdrop by Lane.. 
[Ed]
Traci goes for a bodyslam.. no.. cradle by Executioner.. one.. two.. kickout by Lane... Executioner rakes the eyes.. atomic drop by Executioner.. and a gutwrench suplex.. cover.. one.. two..kickout by Lane.. Executioner with a powerbomb!.. one.. two.. kickout by Lane.. 
[Biff]
Lane better get her stuff together.. that's three pinfall attempts in only a few moments.. Executioner slaps on the figure four leglock.. Lane is in a lot of pain here... she finally makes it to the ropes, but the damage is done.. she gets to her feet, but limps a bit.. Executioner with a clothesline.. but Lane ducks sending Executioner over the top rope... she slides out, but he catches her with a forearm smash... 
[Ed]
Executioner smashes her head into the ring apron.. he whips her.. no.. reversal by Lane, sending Executioner into the guardrail.. she turns to enter the ring and he nails her with a running clothesline.... he removes the padding from ringside... hey.. what the hell... 
[Biff]
He's going for a piledriver.. Lane reverses it with a backdrop.. the bell is ringing here.. obvious double countout.. but they are still fighting.. Executioner body slams Lane on the floor.. he picks her up.. and she slugs him and runs his head into the ring post.. 
[Ed]
We'll be back after we get some order restored... Results: Double Countout. Time of Match: 12:56

{Various faces from the OWA flash by} 
[Announcer]
Next week.. it's the OWA...

{Various faces from the ICWF flash by} 
[Announcer]
...vs. the ICWF.. in eight battle royal to determine who is the best... Next week, OWA Championship Wrestling will be preempted for.... Crazy Eights.. on PPV.

{Flames erupt and a figure steps through...}

This is the Fireman... I'm back and better than ever and ready to take on any challengers. Only.. I'm making a few changes............ My new name is CHAOS!

OWA Championship: Rachel Ryan vs. Stacks Coltrain

{This match starts out very quick.. Ryan and Coltrain go back and forth.. Ryan has slight advantage, but Coltrain holds her own in this match.. we are at the 30 min mark} 
[Ed]
I cannot believe that these two are still going at it.. six near falls in the last 3 minutes... Stacks places Rachel on the top turnbuckle.. DDT by Stacks... she covers... one.. two.. thre.. NO!! Rachel kicks out.. Stacks climbs the turnbuckle.. Stacks with a flying fistdrop.. no Rachel catches with a boot to the midsection.. 
[Biff]
Ryan slowly gets to her feet.. she picks up Coltrain and goes for the Gorilla Press Powerslam.. but Coltrain wiggles a bit and they fall to the mat.. Coltrain on top.. one.. two.. kickout by Ryan.. Coltrain is to her feet.. she runs off the ropes.. and misses with a leg drop, as Ryan moves out of the way.. {Another 15 min goes by.. both wrestler wearily battling it out...} 
[Ed]
Stacks whips Rachel into the ropes.. Rachel comes off with a flying clothesline.. cover by Ryan.. one.. two...thre.. no.. kickout by Stacks.. Rachel pulls up Stacks.. and whips her into the corner.. Ryan follows her in, but Stacks falls out of the way, as Ryan crashes into the corner.. 
[Biff]
Coltrain is up.. she pulls Ryan to her feet.. setup.. and choke slam by Coltrain.. cover.. one.. two.. kickout by Ryan.. Stacks pulls Ryan up.. Ryan cradles her.. one.. two.. reversal by Stacks.. one.. two.. reversal by Ryan.. one two.. kickout by Stacks.. Ryan with a boot to the midsection.. and *bell rings* powerbomb!!! Cover.. but the bell rings.. 
[Ed]
What a great match by two great competitors.. looks like we have a time limit draw.. a 60 min time limit draw.. first ever in the OWA... let's get the official decision...

This match is declared a time limit draw. 
[Biff]
A rematch is definitely in order... Stacks Coltrain is definitely a contender.. 
[Ed]
I agree.. next week, this show will be preempted to bring you the PPV spectacular, Crazy Eights.. for final details on this event, let's go to Myers Watterson...


[Myers] This is your Crazy Eights Update. Now.. let's get to the battle royals. First we know that Battle Royal number one will feature these OWA Superstars: Chaos, Traci Lane, Johnny Stallion, and Johnny Blades, we now know that the ICWF superstars for this match will be... Denise Duncan, Rob Foster, Fenris, and Kelly Kandelski

Battle Royal number two will feature these OWA Superstars: Amazon Woman, JetStream, MegaDiesel, and Monica Brant, plus these four ICWF superstars: Cerebus, Lace, Arlechino and Stevie Cheesecake.. Battle Royal number three, the OWA will be using, Gustaffson, Anthony Hazard, Stacks Coltrain and OWA TV Champion Mike Mustang and representing the ICWF: Kevin Taylor, Jennifer Sanders, Caray Zents, and Spanish Rose. And for Battle Royal number four, it'll be Sabin Figaro, Scott Cobalt, Executioner and Stealth V and from the ICWF: Soultaker, Stewart Zents, Python Princess, and Justice. Now.. two more battle royals to announce. Battle Royal number five will have: Pretty Boy Monty, Mariko, Danny Maxx and Masked Mayhem and from the ICWF: Gretchen Gwynne, Taskmaster, Deborah Duncan and Randi. Battle Royal number six will have WildShadow, Prince Frederick, InterNet Champion The Shocker and Mr. Excitement. They'll be joined by Ray Fisher, ICWF North American Champ Jessica Spangles, Leather, and Tanya Mankiller.

Battle Royal number seven will feature: Asian Invasion, OWA Champion Rachel Ryan, Legion, and Miguel Thunder, along with these wrestlers from the ICWF: J.Q. Smooth, Kommando Karla, VIXXEN, and ICWF US Tag Team Champion Brandi

And in the final Battle Royal: Davey Scott, Shogun, Sentry, Johnny Fate, along with ICWF Champion Masked Marauder, Vision in Violet, Angel, and ICWF Tag Team Champion Maria Mankiller

The winner of each battle royal will meet in a final battle royal to determine the Crazy Eights Champion.

Also slated for this card is a singles match between Prince Frederick and Nabiki Yen.

That's the final line up.. for Ed Bagel, Biff Franklin, Elaine Bryant and Shelly Marks, I'm Myers Watterson and we'll see you next week at Crazy Eights!!!