This is Myers Watterson and we're going to Countdown to Hardcore Heaven. First let me remind you that on October 27th, the OWA will present: Halloween Horror: The Wheel of Torture's Revenge! We'll start out with 16 men, but only 1 will survive the grueling fate of the Wheel. Now back to our task at hand.
Starting off Hardcore Heaven will be a battle royal. 10 wrestlers. THe last three remaining will be places into a "Run The Gaunlet" style match later in the card for the InterNet Championship, against champion, Gustaffson. So. the 8th wrestler eliminated will be the first to take on Gus. The winner of that match will take on the 9th eliminated. And the winner of that match will take on the winner of the battle royal. Remember, all three matches will be for the InterNet championship. Here are some comments from one OWA wrestler involved in the battle royal.
(Monica Brant is back in the locker room, doing a tai-chi warm-up routine. She contiunes the routine for a moment, showing off her well-toned, muscular body, before facing the camera.)
We're a week away from a Hardcore's dream come true; a ten-wrestler battle royal. The last three people in the ring get to face the OWA giant for his title. Well.I guess that means I'd better toss Danny and Johnny out of the ring last. I wouldn't want either of them pouting at my victory party later. See you in the ring.
Johnny Fate has tried to make a name for himself by talk, but at Hardcore Heaven, he'll have to back up his words when he faces former InterNet Champion JetStream in a first blood match.
Kendo Stick Scavenger Hunt Match
Moving on to the 'Find the Kendo Stick Match', the rules are pretty simple. A kendo stick will be hidden at ringside, once someone finds the stick, it's fair game to use in the match. We have comments from both Shogun and Asian Invasion:
Well Asian Invasion or is it Sensation, or what ever you call yourself you little looser the time is here. It's kendo stick time!! You better hope you'll find the stick before I do. Because you are going against the best Martial Artist in the OWA and when I find that weapon, I will make sushi out of you!!! If you think I gave you a good beating last time, you ain't seen nothing yet!! See you in the ring and be ready to beg for MERCY. Long live the FAMILY!!!!!!!
Shogun, this is one beating you asked for. You attacked me first, and now, you will feel PAIN. I've practicing the Kendo Style, and know all there is to know about the Kendo Stick match. Shogun, you, and the rest of The Family, are goin' down!!!
Falls Count Anywhere
Traci Lane and Executioner have battled to numerous but non conclusive contests. Their match at Hardcore Heaven is a "Falls Count Anywhere" Match. There must be a winner. Let's hear from both competitors:
TRACI LANE Hardcore Heaven is very near, are you ready Traci? this will be the toughest match of you're career that i can guarantee you, I have trained harder for this match then anytime in my life to prepare for you, I have trained away from my Friends and The Family so i would not be distracted. LETS GET IT ON TRACI I CANT WAIT TO PUT YOU DOWN. And a warning to whoever is the guest referee. STAY OUT OF OUR WAY AND YOU WONT HAVE ANY TROUBLE FROM ME. BUT IF YOU TRY TO INTERFERE IN THE MATCH THEN I GUARANTEE YOU WILL NOT WALK AWAY FROM THE RING. YOU WILL BE CARRIED OUT ON A STRETCHER.
(A beautiful, well-muscled woman in a black posing bikini and a black hood stands facing the camera, holding a long, bloody battleaxe in her grip. She shifts the axe toward the viewer, raises it, then slams it down onto a wooden block, beheading a realistic dummy that bears a not-so-curious resemblance to the Executioner. Fake blood gushes from the body of the dummy as its head rolls into a basket. The woman leaves the axe embedded in the block, and peels off the hood; it's Traci Lane.)
For centuries, the executioner personified power and terror. Be it with an axe, or sword, or hangman's noose, he cruelly enforced the whims of the ruling class. No one was immune from his grasp as he coldly, systematically ended the lives of those who dared defy the law.
(Camera moves in closer.)
And come Hardcore Heaven, I'll face a man who claims to be such a purveyor of terror, who wishes to be thought of as such a figure. (She tosses the axe aside and places her hands on her hips.) What a JOKE. I don't know what delusions you're laboring under, Executioner, but if you consider yourself to be anything more than a pale imitation of such men, you're sadly mistaken. And once I get you in the arena, you pathetic wretch, I'm going to show you just how misguided you really are!
Parking Lot Strap Match
The one match everyone is talking about is the 'Parking Lot Strap Match'. 100 square feet of a parking lot will be roped off, barricaded and surrounded by security. Two men will be placed into that area and handcuffed to a strap. The object? To drag your opponent 400 feet, touching the four corners of that area. The wrestlers will be allowed to dress as they please and bring what they want. It'll be Pretty Boy Monty and the Shocker in this event.
(Standing in front of THE FAMILY logo is none other than Pretty Boy Monty)
(chuckles).Hardcore Heaven.now this is the type of Action I am talking about.Me and Shocker.in a Parking Lot Strap match.hahaha.I love.now we get to see who truly can stand pain.Shocker You have won.Our last two matches.You have been victorious.but you have not beaten me.we will see who has the Stamina and the Strength to last.and at the end when you are being dragged four hundred yards and your back is bleeding .if you beg.and I mean really beg for Mercy I may let you leave.but If you dont.you will see what pain truly is.(Monty Walks off the stage laughing to himself.)
TV Championship/Mask vs. Title
For the OWA TV title, Mariko once demasked Masked Mayhem, but now it's officially on the line in a Mask vs. Title match. If Mayhem loses he can no longer wear a mask in the ring. If Mariko loses, Mayhem becomes the OWA TV Champion. Let's get some comments.
Good evening. You are about to see the world's greatest wrestler, Mariko, take and destroy this Masked Mushroom. He will feel my power and strength as I crush him. (Mariko runs a finger across her throat as though she's cutting her throat) You have one chance to survive, Mushroom, and that is if you run. Even then, I may come after you and still destroy you. When I win, you should leave the OWA and hide. That way, no one will laugh at you for this mere woman winning a wrestling match. Never underestimate me or my abilities. Sayonara.
Tag Team Championship/Steel Cage Texas Tornado Rules
The OWA Tag Team Champions have been on a roll as of late, including a vicious attack on the Extremists. However, they'll be placed inside a steel cage to take on Brawlers, Inc for the championship in a Texas Tornado match. All four wrestlers will be in the ring at the same time. No rules, no countout, no DQ, there must be a winner. Let's hear from the champions:
One cage, four wrestlers and no rules. How degrading. I suppose we must make an example of Brawlers, Inc. There's no way those two unrefined excuses for humanity can ever hope to defeat us in the ring.
They don't stand a chance in hell. We are going to kick their ass from one side of the cage to the other. You better reconsider your choices at Hardcore Heaven, boys. This might just be your last dance.
OWA Championship/Triangle Ladder Match
The main event for this spectatular night of action will be for the OWA Championship. Current champion Rachel Ryan will defend her belt not against one opponent but two as she takes on Stacks Coltrain and Anthony Hazard in a triple ladder match. Every wrestler for themselves, and a ladder and the OWA Championship. The one to reach the belt first will be the winner and new OWA Champion. Let's hear some comments from one of the challengers, Stacks Coltrain.
(Blaring in the background is the song "We are Family".Pictures of various opponents being defeated by Different members of THE FAMILY scroll by.suddenly it stops and a laser show begins forming numerous triangles and at the end the lasers draw the OWA Heavyweight belt.out walks Stacks Coltrain)
Well, Well it is finally here Hardcore Heaven and guess what I am wrestling for the heavyweight belt. ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME, I TOLD ALL OF YOU THAT I WOULD COME IN AND RIGHT THE SHIP.THE FAMILY HAS GROWN STRONGER AND WE WILL SOON BE AT THE TOP ONCE AGAIN.THE FEMMES AND THE ELITES, YOU HAVE BEEN OUR WORST ENEMIES AND NOW I GET TO TAKE TWO OF YOU DOWN TO WIN THE BELT.ANTHONY HAZARD .YOU HAD YOUR DAY BUT IT WILL COME TO AN END.RACHEL RYAN.HAHAHA YOU HAVE CONTINUOUSLY PROTECTED YOUR PRECIOUS BELT BY WRESTLING YOUR OWN ORGANIZATIONS.NOW IT IS MINE.I WILL STAND ALONE AT THE TOP AND THE FAMILY WILL ONCE AGAIN DOMINATE.
There you have it. A great night of action to come this Sunday. Please be sure to check out Hardcore Heaven, I guarantee you won't be disappointed. For all of us here at the OWA, we'll see you next week.