}

Last Week on OWA Championship Wrestling

(Not sure when this match occurred. It doesn't appear on any of the cards and the cards seem to be accounted for in this timeline. Odd)

[Ed]
Shogun whips Executioner into the ropes, but Executioner reverses it. and hits Shogun with a backdrop, sending him out of the ring. Executioner follows him out, but Shogun catches him with a punch. Shogun whips Executioner into the guardrail, then into the ringpost. Monty hands Shogun his bamboo stick. and Shogun nails Executioner with it several times. He wants the OWA Championship, like nobody s business!!

[Biff]
Bamboo stick? I didn’t see that. Shogun whips Executioner into the guardrail, but Executioner reverses it and Shogun hits that guardrail himself. Executioner knocks Shogun into the ringsteps. He’s setting him up. for a piledriver! Executioner sets up Shogun on the table. Executioner goes to the ring apron and nails Shogun with a moonsault through the table, breaking it in half. Executioner throws Shogun back into the ring. A vicious display by our Champion.

[Ed]
Executioner takes him down with a German suplex. Referee counts: One, two, three. That’s it. the moonsault took it all out of Shogun. Let’s go to the ring announcer for our official decision.

[Announcer]
The winner of this match in 11:18, and STILL OWA Champion, Executioner!!!

[Ed]
Welcome to OWA Championship Wrestling. I'm Ed Bagel, and returning this week so the broadcast booth, Biff Franklin. nice neckbrace.

{Biff]
Just shut up.

[Ed]
This week is the last OWA Championship Wrestling broadcast of 1996. this program will be back on January 5th with more TV action. next week of course is the big PPV, Holiday In Hell. and the week after that the broadcast special that is the retirement match for either Amazon Woman or Freddy Fever. And what about that big announcement in regards to the inaugural OWA Grand Prix Tournament.

[Biff]
I've never heard of anything so crazy in all my life. OWAers will wrestle every night for a month. you have to be kidding me. I only work on weekend, so don't expect me to do commentary.

[Ed]
We won't be doing live commentary except on the match of the week, picked by the OWA Commissioner. 32 wrestlers/32 nights. That doesn't even count the finals.

[Biff]
Should be a great tournament!

[Ed]
This week, one member from each team for Holiday in Hell will battle for their team in a singles match. Those matches were picked at random last week. Also, we're going to have an OWA Championship match, pitting Anthony Hazard against Executioner.

[Biff]
Executioner has been on a roll as of late, and I'm predicting that Executioner will roll right over Hazard. Don't forget. in the "Voice Box" newcomer Samantha Tanner will be my guest.

[Ed]
Let's go to ringside.

Jetstream vs. Shocker

[Announcer]
This match is one fall. First, being accompanied to the ring by Pretty Boy Monty. representing Team Family. here is Jetstream!! And his opponent. being led to the ring by Sir Goodwin. he represents Team Elite. here is The Shocker!!

[Ed]
At Holiday In Hell it'll be Team Family, consisting of Pretty Boy Monty, Jetstream, Shogun and Rainbow Warrior. they'll be taking on Team Elite, Anthony Hazard, Danny Maxx, Johnny Blades and The Shocker.

[Biff]
I don't care much for either team, myself. I'm just looking forward to Team Plague kicking everyone's butt and taking the 6-man titles.

[Ed]
That remains to be seen. there is a lot of dissention in the ranks of The Plague right now. There's the bell. lockup by Jetstream and Shocker. Shocker pushes Jetstream into the corner. and then nails him with a punch. and chokes him against the rope.

[Biff]
You know. I've always liked this Shocker. it's kinda nice to see the Elite doing a little dirty tricks now and then. heh heh. Shocker with a chop. clothesline by Shocker.

[Ed]
Shocker misses a clothesline and Jetstream nails him with a kick to the midsection and then follows it up with a double underhook piledriver! One. two. kickout by Shocker.

[Biff]
Jetstream with a backbreaker. Jetstream off the ropes with a flying forearm. but Shocker ducks. Shocker with a whip. reversal by Jetstream. Jetstream hits Shocker with a shoulderblock. Jetstream goes to the top turnbuckle, but Shocker throws him off to the mat.

[Ed]
Shocker slaps Jetstream. Jetstream nails Shocker with a clothesline. Jetstream with a Northern light suplex. one. two. thr. kickout by Shocker. Jetstream with a tilt a whirl suplex. Jetstream off the ropes, but Shocker nails him with a clothesline.

[Biff]
Shocker goes to the top rope. but Jetstream throws him off. Jetstream goes to the top turnbuckle and nails Shocker with an elbow drop. cover. one. two. three!!!

[Announcer]
Winner of the match in 5:15, JetStream!

(Fast Fighter is standing in a conference room)

[Reporter 1]
Mr. Fast Fighter! Is it true you've left the UEA?

[FF]
As of now, no. But I am joining some feds outside the UEA because I feel the UEA has screwed me one too many times.

[Reporter 2]
Does this have anything to do with rumors that HOWF and UCW are closing?

[FF]
Hell no! They aren't closed, and never will close. My previous comment covers my answer here as well.

[Reporter 3]
What are your feelings about wrestling females?

[FF]
I feel that if I hafta do it, I hafta do it. But I also hope I can make some friends in the female ranks, for 3 main reasons 1) I'll need some advice since like I said, I've never wrestled a female before. 2) It's always nice to have friends watching your back, regardless of gender, and a distant 3rd) I haven't gone out with anyone since my girlfriend dumped me after losing my title in the UEA.

(crowd laughs)

[FF]
No, but seriously, I really hope I can keep myself from alienating myself from the Femmes in my first weeks here in the OWA. Now I gotta go train, so I'll see you all later.

Fast Fighter vs. Sabin Figaro

[Announcer]
This match is one fall. Coming to ringside at this time, making his debut in the OWA. he represents Team "Debut". here is Fast Fighter! And his opponent. accompanied to the ring by his tag team partner MegaDiesel. he represents Team Fate. here is Sabin Figaro!

[Ed]
We're about to see the debut of Fast Fighter. he's going to be leading Team "Debut" at Holiday In Hell. Tonight he's facing former tag team champion Sabin Figaro. MegaDiesel is at ringside. Figaro is part of Team Fate. A team that is having plenty of turmoil at this time, all pretty much due to the team leader, Johnny Fate.

[Biff]
*mutters something under his breath*

[Ed]
Something to say about Johnny Fate, Biff?

[Biff]
Nothing I can say on TV.

[Ed]
In the ring. lockup. Figaro with a whip. and he nails Fighter with a back heel kick. Figaro with a chop, that doesn't phase Fighter in the least. Figaro with a whip. Fighter nails Figaro with an elbow. and a flying dropkick.

[Biff]
Whip by Fighter. he goes for a Frankensteiner, but Figaro just powerbombs him. Figaro pulls up Fighter and executes a nice double underhook suplex. bodyslam by Sabin and cover. one. two. kickout by Fighter.

[Ed]
Sabin with a whip. reversal by Fighter. backdrop by Fighter. and Sabin goes out of the ring. Sabin pulls Fighter out and whips him into the ring steps. Figaro rolls Fighter back into the ring.

[Biff]
Figaro goes for a waistlock suplex. but Fighter counters with a backdrop. Figaro counters that with a sunset flip. one. two. kickout by Fighter.

[Ed]
Whip by Figaro. reversal by Fighter. Fighter is going for the Boa Sleeper. Figaro breaks it with a jawbreaker!. And nails Fighter with the Fist Flurry!!! Cover. one. two. three!!!

[Announcer]
Winner of the match in 21:26, Sabin Figaro!

[Myers Watterson]
This is Myers Watterson for your final Holiday In Hell report.

This great PPV event comes to you next weekend courtesy of the OWA. We're talking about 4 on 4 tag team action.

In the first round of the tournament, normal 8-wrestler tag matches. Losers are out. winners advance.

In the second round. Survivor Series elimination matches. Only Survivors advance. Could be all four members. could on be one.

The finals will be War Games. For those not familiar with the concept of War Games. each team selects one person to enter the double wide cage. those two wrestle for 5 minutes. Then there's a coin toss. The winning team of the coin toss, then sends another man in the ring. Both teams alternate until all of the wrestlers are in the ring, then you can only win by submission or surrender. No pinfalls here, gang. Now. let's see the matchups announced last week:

Team Fate: Captain Johnny Fate, Mack Truck, & Brawlers Inc (Sabin Figaro/MegaDiesel) will take on Team "Debut": Captain Fast Fighter, Samantha Tanner, Tom Tomorrow, and Ricky Hype.

Team Plague: Captain Freddy Fever, The Chiefs and Asian Invasion will be going up against Team Femme: Captain Rachel Ryan, Consuelo Salyards, Mariko & Gustaffson

Team Fashion: Captain Stacks Coltrain, Amazon Woman, Wendy Ryker and Tara Quinn will be tangling with Team Thunder: Captain Miguel Thunder, Xyz, Davey Scott & Billy Smith and finally.

Team Family: Captain Pretty Boy Monty, Rainbow Warrior, Jetstream, & Shogun will be going up against Team Elite: Captain Anthony Hazard, The Shocker, and the Extremists

Now. remember that the week after, will be a special broadcast for the OWA as one of its long time superstars will be retired.

Amazon Woman vs. Freddy Fever: The Final Battle will take place on the 29th. It's a coffin match where you might push the coffin right out of the arena to win, with your opponent inside. The loser will retire for good from the OWA. The OWA Commissioner has said there aren't any more chances in this one. Once you're gone. you’re gone.

All this plus the OWA Inaugural Grand Prix tournament, starting the day after that retirement match. Shelly Marks will be giving you exclusive reports on that tournament in the weeks to come.

Let's hear from one of our new entries into the OWA

[The camera opens on a city street, in a not-so-nice section of town. A tall, heavily muscled man is walking by. He wears silver wrestling tights and tall black boots. His hair is closely cut, and his face bears a grim expression. He spies a wino in the gutter and approaches him.]

[Man]
Tell me, what year is this?

[Wino]
Wha.? Whaddayou, crazy, man?

[The man grabs the wino by the lapels and hauls him to his feet.]

[Man]
I asked you a question. What year is this?

[Wino [terrified]]
Okay, okay, man! It's 1996, I think!

[The man drops him back into the gutter, then begins to walk on.]

[Man]
1996. Hmmm, about eight years off course, but it will have to do for now.

[He spies the camera and approaches curiously.]

[Man]
What have we here? Oh yes, I had forgotten that your video cameras were still so large and cumbersome in the late 20th century. Well then, I shall take this opportunity to introduce myself. I am Tom Tomorrow, and I come from the year 2486. I am a professional wrestler by trade. What, you may ask, brings me to this benighted age? I have won every championship, every award, every trophy that my era offers, so for the past several of my years I have been traveling through time, collecting championship belts from every era of professional wrestling. And now it is your turn to honor me. 1996. And based on the cold weather, I'd wager that it's either the beginning of the year or the end. Fortunately the human race has evolved away from discomfort due to cold or heat.But for now it is enough that you know that I am here, and that you'll be seeing a great deal more of me in the weeks to come. Soon you will have a new champion--Tom Tomorrow, Wrestler of the Future!

[The camera fades out.]

Xyz vs. Tara Quinn

[Announcer]
This next match is one fall. First coming down the aisle. he represents Team Thunder. here is Xyz!!!! And his opponent. on her way to ringside. She represents Team Fashion. here is Tara "Harly" Quinn!!

[Ed]
We haven't seen these two in action since their debut. this ought to be a great match. I know both of them want to move up in the ranks of the OWA.

[Biff]
This Tara Quinn impresses me a little. she's got that mean streak. in fact, Quinn tries to attack Xyz before the bell. but Xyz just lifts her up and out of the ring.

[Ed]
Xyz follows her out and is caught by a enzuigiri. Quinn whips him into the guardrail. and she nails him with a Frankensteiner outside the ring. Quinn throws Xyz back into the ring. Quinn follows him in and goes for another enzuigiri, but Xyz ducks and executes a nice victory roll. one. tw. kickout by Quinn.

[Biff]
Xyz and Quinn both want a win here. Xyz with a Russian legsweep. Xyz off the ropes with a flying body press. one. two. kickout by Quinn. Xyz with a savate kick, but Quinn ducks and nails Xyz with a spinning leg lariat.

[Ed]
Quinn pulls up Xyz and nails him with a clothesline. headbutt by Quinn. whip to the corner by Quinn. reversal by Xyz and he nails her with the Stinger Splash. Xyz with a kick to the midsection.

[Biff]
Xyz with another whip to the corner. and he goes for a handspring elbow. but Quinn backdrops him out of the ring. Quinn goes out and rolls him back into the ring.

[Ed]
Quinn with a series of slaps to the face of Xyz. and a dragon suplex. Quinn nails Xyz with the fistdrop!. cover. one. two. three!!

[Biff]
I'm outta here. I got an interview!

[Announcer]
Winner of the match in 14:46, Tara Quinn!!

The Voice Box: Samantha Tanner

Biff]
Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm "The Voice" Biff Franklin. and this is. "The Voice Box". Will you please welcome the OWA's newest sensation. Miss Samantha Tanner!!!!

{Sam walks out with "That Thing You Do" playing over the PA. All the men in the crowd are going crazy, but all the women are booing her. She gets into the ring and takes her robe off. She's wearing a bikini under it.}

[Biff]
Um. I. Ah. Well. welcome to the sh. welcome to MY show!!

[Sam]
It's good to be here.

[Biff]
Ahem. So. tell me. what brings you to the OWA?

[Sam]
Good question, I can answer that. Miss Tanner is here, because I the other feds I've been in are really lame. The OWA looks very challenging to me and I can't wait to go out there and give it 100%!!!

[Biff]
Why this hostility towards Amazon Woman?

[Sam]
Well Biff, You know how it is. She's just the first one I saw. So I decided to call her out, and obviously she's scared. She hasn't said anything about me yet. She's probably with my fourth grade P.E. Teacher!!

[Biff]
What about Mr. America? As soon as he heard about you he wanted to say something.

[Sam]
Well that's how all men are when they see or hear me. Mr. American is simply a case of Jealousy.

[Biff]
Jealousy???

[Sam]
Yeah, he's just mad because he can't get it from yours truly!!! I only give it out to one man, but no one will know you that one man is until I'm ready to say!!!

[Biff]
So you know someone in this fed?

[Sam]
Of course. how do you think I got in?

[Biff]
Who is it??

[Sam]
Ha. Your a very funny man, Biff. You think I'd really tell your sorry butt? Everyone will find out soon enough!!!

[Biff]
What are your opinions about the fans?

[Sam]
Well if you like me that's good, and if you don't.oh well!!!!

[Biff]
What are you going to bring to the OWA?

[Sam
Good question Biff. Well I'm going to bring Excitement, passion, hardcore wrestling, unpredictability, and most of all. sexiness!! I'm going to bring everything that the OWA is missing!!!

[Biff]
Well thank you very much Miss Tanner.

[Sam]
The pleasure was all yours!!!

[Biff]
Whew. back to ringside.

Gustaffson vs. Mike Mustang

[Announcer]
This match is one fall. Coming down the aisle. he stands 7'2" tall. he represents Team Femme. here is the giant. Gustaffson!. His opponent is being led to the ring by his tag team partner, Johnny Stallion. he represents Team Plague. here is Mike Mustang!

[Ed]
Mustang attacks Gus before the bell. he nails the giant with a couple of punches, but Gustaffson just bowls him over with a football tackle. Gustaffson takes him down with a DDT.

[Biff - just now sitting down]
HEY! Don't start without me!

[Ed]
Well. get in here. this match is on.

[Biff]
Whoa! Gustaffson goes for a running forearm, but Mustang just pulls that top rope down and Gus flies out of the ring. Mustang distracts the referee and Johnny Stallion nails Gus with a DDT. Stallion rams the head of Gus into the ring post.

[Ed]
The crowd goes wild as Rachel Ryan hits ringside. we have a brawl in the ring right now. Ryan nails Mustang with a clothesline. Gustaffson throws Stallion into the ring.

[Biff]
The Chiefs head for the hills. let's to go the ring announcer for the decision.

[Announcer]
At 3:45, this match has been declared a no contest.

[Scene opens with ESPN's Chris Berman sitting at his SportsCenter desk with the theme song just ending, " Da Na Na! Da Na Na!"]

[Chris Berman]
Welcome to tonight’s SportsCenter folks. Our first Hypelight comes from the world of professional hockey where the Hudson Bay Green Foxx pounded the Scranton Bombers 7 to 1, but thats not the real story here.

[scene shifts to a view of a Huuuuuuuuge!!! 300 pound drunk in the stands wearing a Bombers jersey and hat.]

[Chris Berman]
Apparently, Drunkman took a dislike to the treatment Ricky Hype, the All-Star scrapper of the Foxx, gave Bombers star center Obie Wanna Be.

[camera shows Ricky Hype checking and giving Wanna Be several forearms to the head and high sticking him also]

[Chris Berman]
Midway through the third period Drunkman decides to voice his opinion.

[camera shows Drunkman yelling obscenities at Hype from behind the glass]

[Chris Berman]
This probably wasn't the smartest thing Drunkman has ever done, being the game was played inside Foxx Den arena. This went on for awhile until.

[camera shows Drunkman pouring a large beer onto Hype from over the glass. Hype throws down his stick and gloves and jumps over the glass and into
the crowd]

[Chris Berman]
At 6'2" and 257 pounds, Ricky Hype can move! Folks, what followed can't be described, so sit back and watch the Hypelights as they happened.

[Ricky Hype climbs over the glass with his skates still on. Camera flashes start popping everywhere! As Hype reaches Drunkman, he gets hit with an elbow smash to the face that knocks him to the ground. Hype looks up, smiles, spits out some blood and lunges for Drunkman. Drunkman throws a punch but Hype blocks it and kicks Drunkman in the midsection. Hype then winds up for some hard rights to Drunkman's jaw]

[Chris Berman]
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Te., noooooo! Hype says no pin yet!

[camera shows Hype grabbing Drunkman's arm and whipping him into the glass. Drunkman bounces off and staggers up the stairs towards Hype. Hype launches his body into the air and drives his shoulder into the chest of Drunkman, knocking him into the glass wall and shattering three sheets around the rink. Drunkman bounces back and lands into a row of seats with some fanatical Foxx fans]

[the crowd starts to chant "HYPE! HYPE! HYPE!"]

[camera shows Ricky Hype climbing up on the wall of the rink where the glass used to be. The fans throw Drunkman back towards Hype. Hype reaches down and picks up Drunkman between the legs, twists his body towards the rink, and. BODYSLAM!!! to the ice!!! A fan throws Hype his black sunglasses and yells, "Turn out the lights Ricky!!" Hype puts on the glasses, picks up Drunkman and puts him into a headlock. The crowd chants "HYPER! HYPER! HYPER!" Hype takes two steps forward, throws his feet out, releases the headlock, grabs the back of Drunkman's head with his left hand and slams his face into the ice while driving his right elbow into the back of his neck!!! The ice CRACKS!!! and the crowd goes berserk as Drunkman's blood oozes all over the ice. Ricky Hype stands up with the sunglasses still on and raises his fists to the crowd in triumph!]

[Chris Berman]
I can tell ya this much, Ricky Hype should use that bodyslam in the OWA, and guess what?, that's exactly what he'll be doing. Listen to what Ricky "the Foxx" Hype had to say after the game.

[camera shows Ricky Hype in the locker room with a bloody mouth, but looking very satisfied as he is hanging up the locker room phone]

[Ricky Hype]
Let me tell ya, that was the most fun I've had in years! Championships, Allstar games, MVP awards, they can't compare to what I felt out there tonight! The league has been putting chains around my hands lately and I can't play the way I like and my fans like, so I'm going someplace where I can display my talents and play MY WAY!!! I have just spoken to my agent who was watching tonight and knows how unhappy I have been with the hockey league as of late. Well, he has made some calls and the papers have already been signed. The OWA commissioner has approved my entry into the league, and what a perfect debut to make with everyone who's anybody at. HOLIDAY IN HELL!!!! So LOOK OUT BABY!!!! I'm bringing MY! Fans and MY SHOW! to the OWA!!!!

[Chris Berman]
I hope the OWA is ready for the Hyper show of Ricky "the Foxx" Hype. ESPN will be keeping an eye on Ricky and we'll let you know how the SHOW goes!

DA NA NA! DA NA NA!

OWA Championship: Executioner vs. Anthony Hazard

[Announcer]
This match is one fall and it is for the OWA Championship. First, the challenger. being led to the ring by his manager, Sir Goodwin. He weighs in at 207 pounds. here is Anthony Hazard!! And introducing the OWA Champion. weighing in at 230 pounds. here is the Executioner!

[Ed]
And this is the big one. Executioner claims it'll be just a warm up for his cage match at Holiday In Hell with Traci Lane. Hazard says it's the title shot he's been waiting for to regain the OWA Championship.

[Biff]
Executioner has been on some kind of role. though his problems within the Plague will probably be his downfall. I notice that he's been keeping Freddy Fever away from ringside during his matches.

[Ed]
The referee holds up that championship belt, signifying the title is on the line. and there's the bell. Both wrestlers circle, then lock up. Executioner with a go around. and he tries for an atomic drop, but Hazard blocks it and nails Executioner with a jumping side kick.

[Biff]
Hazard with a drop kick. Hazard whips Executioner. reversal by Executioner. Executioner misses an elbow. Hazard misses a clothesline. and Executioner hits with a clothesline. and a small package. one. t. kickout by Hazard.

[Ed]
Executioner with a knee to the back of Hazard. Executioner with a side suplex. Hazard takes down the champion with a single leg takedown. Hazard off the ropes nails Executioner with a flying clothesline. Hazard pulls up Executioner and executes a nice belly to belly suplex.

[Biff]
Hazard goes to the top turnbuckle, but Executioner is up and nails him in the stomach as Hazard falls onto the turnbuckle. Executioner with a belly to belly superplex. one. two. thre. kickout by Hazard. that was a close one.

[Ed]
DDT by the OWA Champion. cover. one. two. th. kickout by Hazard. Executioner applies the figure four leglock. Hazard tries to reach for the ropes. he's too far away. now he's trying to reverse it. you can tell he's in a lot of pain.

[Biff]
Blah. he should just give it up! He's got it reversed and Executioner breaks the hold. Executioner pulls up Hazard. no. small package by Hazard. one. two. kickout by Executioner. Executioner nails him with an elbow.

[Ed]
Executioner with a whip. reversal by Hazard. Hazard hits him with a jumping side kick. Hazard with a corner whip. he charges in and Executioner gets up a knee. Executioner has the Cross Face Chicken Wing applied. but Sir Goodwin is on the apron!

[Biff]
What's he doing up there?!?! Look at Hazard give up!

[Ed]
He's not giving up, but the referee's busy with Goodwin and isn't even asking. Executioner releases the hold and goes after Goodwin, but from behind Hazard with the Reverse Powerslam!!!! Cover. one. two. three. NO! Executioner has his feet on the ropes!

[Biff]
Hazard is pissed! Jumping side kick by the challenger. small package by Hazard. one. two. reversal by Executioner. one. two. th. kickout by Hazard. Executioner with a German Suplex. one. two. three!!! Executioner remains champion.

[Announcer]
Winner of the match in 14:26, and STILL OWA Champion. Executioner!

[Ed]
We're about out of time. it'll be Executioner defending that title against Traci Lane inside the cage. Plus the quad-team tournament. Next week, Holiday In Hell. and after that Amazon Woman vs. Freddy Fever! We'll see you next week.