Words from the Kingpin, Bloody Mary, Officer Order, Medusa Rage and more. With a surprise, somber ending.
(The scene is one of Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance studios located in Tacoma, Washington. Two men are sitting behind a desk. They are wearing a blue blazer with the GDWA logo on the right side. A woman sits between them with a red and brown suit jacket and skirt. The lights start to come up, and “Atomic Dog” by Parliament–the GDWA theme music–begins to play.)
Dunbar: Wrestling fans, I’m Paul Laurence Dunbar with Allen Bishop and Sonya Blade bringing you the Friday Night Tease. So much going on in the world of professional wrestling. Mike Whalen has a major update that he says will SHOCK the GDWA.
Blade: I don’t see what that could be. Perhaps it is the greatly anticipated words from INTERNET Heavyweight Champion Charlotte La Mancha.
Bishop: Tonight, we have the return of the Tag Team division as well as word from a plethora of newcomers.
Dunbar: Plethora? Is that a college word Bishop….
Bishop: I went to college damn it!
Dunbar: (Laughing) It was a joke. Take some time off from that Sam Mutt. He’s got you quite on edge. Fans, as always we begin the night with words from the World Champ. Tonight, we’ll hear from her manager, the Kingpin…
(Camera comes up on the Kingpin and company, lounging in what appears to be a huge board room. An enormous red ‘Syndicate’ is painted on the rear wall.)
[Kingpin] Okay, let’s see…Micki, Crystal, Tiff, Andrea, Heidi, and Liz. Looks like the gang’s all here.
[Micki] What the hell are these cameras doing here?
[Kingpin] Ah, Micki, no need to worry. None of you will be talking to the cameras today. This spot is for me. Well, well, well. Medusa, Medusa, Medusa. Shooting off your little mouth again, are you? You want a piece of Andrea? Isn’t that special. And you’re the number one contender. Neato. Well, kid, I don’t know what to tell you except that when you disrespect the Kingpin, it can be really funny how contract negotiations can bog down. If I were you, I’d start puckering up. I like the right side of my ass kissed a little more than the left. Pack a lunch, because it’s going to be an all-day affair.
And now that the tag scene is opening back up, get those two Geritol-swilling geezers to put down their knitting, get off their rocking chairs, and bring *MY* World tag titles to the ring, because STRIKE! is going to do more than a little bit of damage.
Next, Radhi Ananda, girl, you don’t know what in the HELL you’re messing with, calling out Micki. You put that belt up on the line, and we’ll discuss stipulations afterwards. You’re a cheating little bitch, and you know as well as everyone does that Micki had you beat, and your little cronies saved your bacon for you, but Micki had you beat. Period. So bring it on.
And Ma Porter, if I were you, I’d stick to beating on the guy at McDonald’s who wouldn’t give you the 14th Big Mac, because, honey, there ain’t enough hours in the day for the Syndicate to whoop your sorry, tired ass. We’ve done it twice, and we can do it again. You ain’t shit, you ain’t never been shit, and you ain’t never gonna be shit. I don’t even know why I’m wasting my breath on you.
One last thing: Daisy Butterfly, be assured that the contract between you and Micki has been signed, and you can look forward to that match. It’s just a question of when President Vessey can get it in. Believe me. Now get the hell out of here. You’re dismissed.
(Cameras fade out.)
Bishop: Sounds like the Kingpin left no corner unkempt.
Blade: I’ll hand it to the fat bum, he is the manager of champions. But just wait, Andrea will get hers.
Bishop: Speaking of which…are you coming out of retirement to…
Blade: Since you must bring it up, yes! For one match! Andrea Chandler, you and me next week on the Saturday Nite Special. If you got the guts, sign on the dotted line.
Dunbar: Are you serious Sonya?
Dunbar: Quite ambitious of you. Fans, let’s hear from a woman who has done a lot of introspection, as of late, ‘Double O’ Officer Order…
Open on Officer Order in uniform, walking in front of a tall brick wall that is lined with small bushes.
ORDER: Things have been tough for me lately. I have to say that I’ve felt kind of … out of it for a while. That’s why I came here…
She stops in front of a large plaque which reads “San Francisco Police Academy”. As she gestures towards the sign, a group of cadets dressed in gray sweat suits jogs past in formation. Doubled O follows them with her eyes, and then smiles.
ORDER: Something’s never change…
Order walks off camera, and the shot switches to inside a gym with wrestling mats lining the floor. In the Background, several cadets are practicing takedowns on each other under the watchful eye of an old Japanese man. Order walks in to the shot.
ORDER: Now I don’t make any excuses for what happened. I made big mistakes! Too many mistakes, and they cost me. That’s OK, because I’ve learned from them. You see I started to let things get to me, to take things personally. You can’t do that in the ring. It’s just like when I’m out on patrol, I’m there to do my job. That’s what happened to me, I let what happened to Sachie affect me personally and it cost me a championship match.
Order shakes her head, as she walks toward the old man. She bows to him and he bows and smiles back. Order turns back toward the camera, as the old man goes back to his students.
ORDER: I let things get to me, Hell I almost gave up wrestling because of what happened, but an old friend of mine helped me clear me head. Now I’m back on the beat, and I’ve got work to do. And Come Founder’s Day, I’m going to show everyone what the Old School GDWA is all about. Until then, I want to let some of the new faces shine, if any of you want a match I’m sure it can be arranged.
Bishop: Wow! Officer Order with beaming confidence. She sounds like the Order of old.
Blade: Yes, and I’d even say that Double O is ready to storm the world. She sounds ready for FOUNDER’S DAY TRADITION and ready for any of our newcomers.
Bishop: The policewoman from San Francisco, California perhaps ready to shake up the promotion. I’m glad to hear that she’s put the Sachie Yokoyama feud behind her.
Blade: Well, speaking of top contenders, let’s hear from the #1 contender to the World Title…Medusa Rage!
Mike Whalen leads a crew of GDWA cameras into an after party in Brooklyn. As he pushes through the weed-smoked room he passes such celebrities as Method Man and Redman. There are regular guys there in their hip hop finest and fly girls in cat suits and flared jeans. Whalen finds his way to Medusa Rage in the back of the club, chatting up a circle of about 9 young, handsome dread-locked and braided men.]
Whalen: Medusa? Is this how you prepare for your matches? Lounging at after parties?
[Medusa takes a sip of a drink from a short straw. She flicks a glance at Whalen, baring her teeth in a scowl. She’s wearing gold fronts, sparkling fangs.]
Medusa: Whalen, I’m on a damn date here. One of these lucky gentlemen is about to enjoy the miracle that is me. I don’t got time to waste with you. Now get out the way.
Whalen: I understand Nikita is training hard.
Medusa: Let me guess, she said she’ll bury me, right? Probably don’t even get that, do you, Whalen? Listen, you go back and tell Kruschev to do all her preparation because it ain’t gonna make a difference. See, I’ve got all the cards here. I’ve got all the motivation. See, I was up in Halifax the other day and you know what the brothers told me. They said ‘whup her ass, ‘dusa.’ They been watchin’ the nonsense that goes on in the GDWA and they ain’t havin’ it. And neither am I. You know I’m just a good time girl at heart, right. Trinis love nothing better than a good party, but I don’t got all the time in the world for that right now. I know Nikita Marx is crafty, but she ain’t bright. It’s just that simple. She don’t know what she’s dealing with. She don’t know all the stuff I’m capable of. I don’t know if she’ll ever know exactly. Nikita, all I got to say to you personally is this. I’m coming to make a statement out of you. I’m tired of the GDWA and all its politics. Very tired of it. You’re going to see exactly who the Queenpin is, the true Queen Bitch of the GDWA. You’re done and finished, Nikita. Gone. Bye. Bye.
Blade: The Hardcore Homegirl of the GDWA partying it up…but I must concur with Mike Whalen…that IS NOT a good training regimen for a wrestler of the caliber of Nikita Marx.
Bishop: Saturday Night will definitely be interesting to see.
Dunbar: Fans, that will surely be THE brawl to rile up the Dawg Pound. Now, let’s hear comments from Bloody Mary who seems to have issue with a Grand Dragon rookie….
(Scene is in office, Bloody Mary, dressed in dark blue business suit & skirt, is looking at paper reading list of contenders, she is visibly upset as she puts down paper & addresses camera…looking at paper & hitting it).
I see one of the newcomers to GDWA is Keiko Mita. The Kyoto Crippler. Yes, she is that! I never thought or hoped I would hear your name again. You see Keiko & I have a brief history. When I was last in Japan about 2 years ago, Keiko was a new star learning the ropes, literally during my last tour when I was trying to well…learn the ropes in wrestling. Keiko was as ambitious as I was, maybe more at the time. She fancied herself a female Jackie Chan or something being a martial arts expert supposedly. She liked to use those moves, especially kicks to the knee & whatever she could get away with under the guise of wrestling moves & with that cute face & innocent demeanor. I never let that fool me except once. I saw what she was doing to other up & coming wrestlers, putting them out maybe for good. She managed to fool me & injured my knee, that’s why I ended my Japanese tour earlier than I intended.
(Mary has an expression that is turning to anger but manages to keep her voice calm)
Keiko. Kyoto Crippler, you stay out of my way. I have too much to think about right now with Nelli & Nomad. I don’t need you entering in the picture (Mary rubs at her knee). Why don’t you find a tae kwan do tournament or something, go somewhere where you’ll be appreciated. Just take that martial arts crap away from the GDWA or go back to school & learn to wrestle.
Dunbar: Wrestling fans that is the first that Bloody Mary has shown ANY sort of hesitation or concern toward another wrestler.
Blade: Well now I can’t wait to see what the Kyoto Crippler can do. When is this rookie gonna wrestle anyway?
Dunbar: I can’t wait. Now fans, let’s look at the card for tomorrow nights Saturday Nite Special…
SATURDAY NITE SPECIAL
1) ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda vs. Bloody Mary (Western Heritage title/steel cage match!)
2) ‘La Femme Nikita’ Nikita Marx vs. Medusa Rage (No Holds barred brawl!)
3) ‘Supermodel’ Eleanor Royal vs ‘Miss’ Tiffany Chandler
Dunbar: Fans, we have the battle of the newcomers when Tiffany Chandler of the Syndicate goes to blows against Eleanor Royal. With comments, let’s hear from the ‘Supermodel’….
[The scene opens with Eleanor Royal doing wind sprints at an indoor track. Then the scene shifts to her in the weight room bench-pressing an impressive amount of weight. The scene shifts again, this time showing her running on a treadmill. Finally, there is a shot of a sweaty Eleanor sitting on a rubber mat with a towel around her neck.]
Eleanor: “I’ve been working off a lot of nervous energy in the gym as I wait for my first match and it’s here at last. Miss Tiffany, you’re as new to the GDWA as I am so I don’t know a lot about you. But, you also don’t know anything out me.”
[Eleanor gets to her feet and starts to walk around the gym. The camera follows her.]
Eleanor: “I could be the strongest person you’ve ever face. Or I could be the quickest. Maybe I’m the best technical wrestler. Then again, I could be the meanest brawler. You just don’t know and won’t know until you step into the ring with me.”
[Eleanor heads to the leg press machine and starts to place on a stack of 45 pound plates one at a time. She turns back toward the camera.]
Eleanor: “By the time you figure out what you’ll be facing in the ring, it’ll be too late. I would have already pinned you by that time.”
[The scene fades with Eleanor doing leg presses.]
Bishop: Wow! I bet all GDWA rookies will have their eyes on that one.
Blade: I can’t wait for the Supermodel to beat up on that girl. At least one Chandler around here will be flat on her back.
Dunbar: It will be interesting to see if the Syndicate ‘introduces’ itself to the Supermodel. Turning our attention now to other matters, let’s hear from another newcomer in Crimson…
*Scene opens on the GDWA arena. It is deserted, except for a few janitors, and someone standing next to the ring. The camera pans closer until the person is recognizable as Crimson. She is looking into the empty ring, and appears to be troubled. With a sigh, she turns and faces the camera.*
Crimson: This is my dilemma. I long to step into the ring, but there are currently no opponents for me to face. No one has seen fit to challenge me as yet. Perhaps no one believes that I am a worthy adversary. Thus, I am left to make a challenge myself. Here is my proposal: a most falls in 30 minutes triangle match between Miss Tiffany Chandler, “The Kyoto Crippler” Keiko Mita, and myself. The gauntlet is thrown to the two of you. I hope you have the courage to pick it up.
*Crimson turns back to the ring as the scene fades.*
Bishop: Blunt and to the point…I’m really beginning to like her.
Blade: I must admit, Crimson is all about business, and THAT is impressive. Let’s see if that cowardly Chandler and the ‘Kyoto Crippler’ are up to the challenge.
Dunbar: Now fans, the words you’ve been waiting on all night. The INTERNET Heavyweight Champion has this to say….
(The camera focuses on a private hospital room. Seated near the window is Charlotte LaMancha, dressed in a light green housecoat. She stares out the window for a few seconds, and then rises from the chair. Even though her face grimaces a bit, she manages to stand and face the camera.)
Charlotte: Hello folks. Charlotte LaMancha here from Pasteur Hospital in France. It’s nice of the GDWA to send a camera here, especially since I have something important to say. It concerns this… (Charlotte walks over to her bedside table and picks up the GDWA Internet championship).
So might say, that with my recent injuries, and the dissolving of the Dragon Trio, my career here in the GDWA is all but washed up. (Charlotte pauses for a moment.) Well, they’re right. (The Frenchwoman tosses the title on the hospital bed.) As of this morning, I faxed a copy of my resignation to the GDWA head offices. The Internet title is now vacant, I wish all the women of the GDWA good luck in competing for it.
And, to Ma Porter and Officer Order…congratulations. The better women won.
Bishop: That’s HOT news! I can’t believe it.
Blade: Yes, I heard that GDWA International representative Alison De La Cruz flew into France this morning on the orders of President Vessey. We’ll see if she can convince Charlotte to come back.
Dunbar: That is incredible news, and if you are Dementia Praecox, you’ve got to be incredibly concerned.
Bishop: And what about Micki Duran?! You know she LUSTS after that INTERNET title. It’s the only reason she even WANTS the Western Heritage title…
Blade: As well as a little revenge against Radhi Ananda. Charlotte, you’ve got to come back. The GDWA needs heroes now a days. We need you to fight against the Syndicate. You saw what they did to Staci X and Sierra Browne.
Bishop: Charlotte has had a wonderful career. She’s truly evolved as a wrestler and I can say I’ll miss seeing her at ringside.
Dunbar: Fans, let’s move on to some words from another GDWA newcomer in Rekka Sakura…
[Open camera on JFK International Airport, here JAL most recent flight has arrived carrying the GDWA’s most recent foreign star Rekka Sakura. Rekka has decided to have her arrival press conference on the plane itself]
Rekka Sakura: [looking very happy and thrilled at all the press] Please folks just have a seat and we can get started
[The reporters are surprised by Rekka’s command of English and sit]
Reporter#1: Rekka first of all welcome to the United States. My first question concerns your choice to come wrestle in the GDWA. I guess the question is why?
Rekka Sakura: Well first thanks for the welcome, as for your question…I love wrestling but I ran out of challenges in Japan. The GDWA offers me a vast talent pool to compete against and I’m looking forward to wowing the US fans with my moves!! Next question…
Reporter#2: Any immediate goals as far as wrestling go?
Rekka Sakura: I’m not going to come here expecting a title shot, that would be sheer conceit on my part. Right now I just want to get established and get to know the people that matter most… MY FANS!!
Reporter#3: Your command of English is fantastic, where did you learn it?
Rekka Sakura: [chuckles] My mother was from England and my father was Japanese, they wanted me to go to business school so they insisted I be bi-lingual. Sadly my desire was not the same as I wanted to wrestle. Still being able to speak perfect English should make it easy for my fans here in the US to understand my interviews, ne? [laughs]
Reporters laugh at Rekka’s simple joke]
Reporter#4: Do you have your first match signed yet?
Rekka Sakura: Sadly no, but I have an open contract and willingly wrestle anyone who wishes to step in the ring with the “Burning Cherry Blossom”
Reporter#2 [again]: Any words for the fans Rekka?
Rekka Sakura: [excited] YOU BET!! LOOK OUT FOLKS ‘IM COMING AT YOU LIKE A FOUR ALARM FIRE!! MAYBE EVEN HOTTER!!! ONCE YOU SEE REKKA SAKURA IN THE RING I’M SURE YOU’RE GONNA HAVE A NEW FAVORITE TO ROOT FOR!! LOOK OUT GDWA… LET’S BURN UP!!
[Rekka Sakura excuses herself and attempts to leave the plane only to be met by a ton of screaming US fans]
Rekka Sakura: [stunned] Now this I wasn’t expecting!!!
[Fade out as Rekka Sakura greets her fans and signs autographs]
(Paul Laurence Dunbar is noticeably disturbed as he reads a note Mike Whalen hands him.)
Bishop: She sounds impressive, but how will she stack up against GDWA competition?
Blade: The ring is the owner of all talents. We’ll just have to see. Paul, Paul what’s wrong? Rekka Sakura is reminiscent of Sachie Yokoyama before she went bad. I hope Sakura retains the spirit of good sportsmanship during her tenure here in Grand Dragon.
(Silence for a while until Paul Laurence Dunbar is able to clear his throat.)
Dunbar: (sadly)……………Let’s hear words from Lady Tiger, who is also a Frenchwoman, and had a chance to speak with Charlotte La Mancha. Here is Lady Tiger………
(Note: for the benefit of GDWA fans, the following has been translated from French to English)
(The scene opens up inside a hospital located in Nice, France. Lying down on a cot is a very renowned woman in the GDWA, Charlotte La Mancha. She’s picks up a book, begins reading it. After a few minutes she throws it away. She turns on the TV for a few minutes, then turns it off in disgust. Needless to say, she does NOT seem happy to be there. The rainy weather outside seems to match her dismal mood. Due the lack of light, it seems to be around nightfall.)
(All across the wall are get well cards and photos. A few gifts and oddities are strewn across a desk next to her. Various books and gadgets are thrown on the floor. She picks up another book, reads it for a few minutes and throws it at the door. Then she pauses. One of the nurses knocks on the door)
Nurse: Um, Ms. LaMancha, you have a visitor.
Charlotte: I told you, I don’t want anyone to see me like this! Tell them to go away!
Nurse: But she really insists on coming in! She said she’d be leaving for America tonight, and wouldn’t forgive herself if she didn’t get to see you! She says she’s your biggest fan!
Charlotte: So has everybody else! I gave you specific orders NOT to let anyone see me like this!!
Nurse: But Charlotte, she really seems to be in bad shape! She says she absolutely HAS to see you!
Charlotte (after a long pause): Send her in.
(The door opens just a crack, and a slight figure pops in with a bouquet of roses. She’s dressed in a trench coat dripping with the rain from outside. She has long, wet blond hair. In fact, you probably wouldn’t think anything of her except for one small detail. She’s wearing a mask.)
Charlotte: Lady Tiger. (Charlotte pushes up to a sitting positon and smiles brightly. Her tone is surprisingly cheerful.) Just come from a costume party?
(Lady Tiger sets the roses on the bureau, avoiding Charlotte’s gaze. She walks over to the window and stares out to the rain)
Lady Tiger: Well, actually, I just came back from volunteering at the help center. (A strange looks passes through Charlotte’s eyes at the words ‘help center’, but Tiger doesn’t seem to notice.) So, um . . . I tried to see you earlier but they wouldn’t let me, so . . . (she tries to say more, but her voice catches for a moment) What they is true, isn’t it? You aren’t coming back.
(A few moments pass in silence)
Charlotte: (Her face becomes more serious as she speaks.)Yes. I’m not going to be wrestling anymore. I faxed them a copy of my resignation this morning.
Lady Tiger: (spinning around towards Charlotte, an edge of disparity in her voice) But there’s still hope, isn’t there?? I mean, it can’t be that bad! The doctors could be wrong!
Charlotte: (Smiling sadly and shaking her head) It’s not just my injuries, Tiger. There’s…a lot more to it than that.
Lady Tiger: (pleading) Charlotte, please, don’t let it end like this! You know how much I looked up to you, here and in GDWA! You were my wrestling inspiration! My hero! And now I’m finally getting to know you and . . . and . . . (a tear rolls down from behind the mask)
Charlotte: Hey! I’m not dying or anything! (Laughs quietly.) I’m just not going to be getting in the ring anymore. There’s nothing that says we can’t still be friends.
Lady Tiger: (getting control of herself) So, I guess it’s over then. (With reluctance, she begins looking over the various cards) Hey! Some of these are from America! Hmm, I guess I’m not the only fan sad to see you go. You’ve left yourself quite a legacy, haven’t you? (Forces a chuckle) Did Daisy get a chance to see you?
Charlotte: (There’s an awkward pause at the mention of Daisy’s name.)She’s been busy lately, especially with that whole Nikita Marx thing. She hasn’t had a chance to come by.
Lady Tiger: I just, I just feel so . . . lost. It’s hard to explain. You were one of the biggest reasons I went to America! It’s always been a dream to fight side by side with my idol. (She turns around and smashes the wall) It’s all my fault! I was watching the match, and I wanted to help, but someone locked the door on me and I couldn’t get out! I could have helped! And because of me, you won’t be able to return to wrestling! Charlotte, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I would have helped, I’m so sorry Charlotte, I . . .
Charlotte: (As Tiger speaks, Charlotte throws the blankets off and swings her legs around the side of the bed. Despite grimacing in pain, she gets up and walks over to the masked woman. The two of them hug for a moment, and then Charlotte smiles again.) This wasn’t about you, Tiger. It was about me and Porter and all the heat we built up. It was my fight and I did the best I could. It…just wasn’t enough. The better women won. That’s all there is to it.
(The two stand in silence for a moment, and then Charlotte gets an interested look in her eye.) You know, I’ve got something here… (She walks over to her bedside table and pulls out a short purple scarf.) A friend of mine gave me this, a long time ago, while I was in the circus. Here. (She hands the material over to Tiger.)
Lady Tiger: You, you . . . you want me to wear this?
Charlotte: I’d be honored if you would.
Lady Tiger: Charlotte, thank you! (She smiles sincerely for the first time since she came in) I would be honored to wear this in my matches! But, I’m just so confused. I don’t know why I’m going back anymore.
Charlotte: Why? Lady Tiger, don’t you remember your match at Dawg Pound Nights? Don’t you remember beating the crap out of Nomad? And don’t you remember what it was like to have the fans cheering your name?
Lady Tiger: (smiles) I . . . think I know why I’m going back. I’m going to make you proud of me, Charlotte. I know I’ll ever be as good as you were, but maybe, after a while . . . I mean, I know that Sachie and Porter are out of my class right now. But I’ll train hard, Charlotte, I’ll train harder than I ever have for anything before! And one day far away Charlotte . . . I’ll make them pay for what they’ve done to you!!
Charlotte: (Charlotte’s eyes get a faraway look.)No, Tiger. No. I told you, this doesn’t involve you. Don’t go back for vengeance. If you go back, do it for yourself. (She seems to come back, and smiles again.) I’m nobody’s hero, my friend.
Lady Tiger: I just want you to know that you were always my idol, Charlotte, and I’ll make you proud of me. I promise.
Charlotte: As long as you’re proud of yourself, Tiger. As long as you’re proud of yourself.
(Fade to black)
Blade: Lady Tiger recommitted to wrestling….what the hell is wrong with you Paul Laurence?!
(He hands her the note, and she immediately walks off camera.)
Bishop: What?! Paul, where are you going? Charlotte’s ribs aren’t that serious are they? What?
(Mike Whalen comes onto camera to relieve Paul Laurence Dunbar.)
Whalen: Okay, so how does this Hollywood talk show thing work?
Bishop: What’s going on?
Whalen: Allen, I’ll tell you when we complete the show.
Bishop: Well, let’s move on to the tag scene. First, we’ll hear from the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! They are the Misfits…
Ms. Perfect Dalbello Rage and Godiva Rage are filmed working out in a gym. Dalbello hits the heavy bag while Godiva tries to hold it steady.]
Dalbello: Seems like the GDWA finally woke up and got some sense, huh? Yeah, you tried to rob us at Dawg Pound Nights, cancelled our matches, left Medusa out there to dry, then said they shut down the tag ranks due to some conflicts with the promoters.
[She sends a straight right hand into the bag.]
Dalbello: You know what that means to me? Absolutely nothing. I don’t care what backroom politics you’ve got going on, all I know is I got screwed out of my chance to take the Powerbomb and knock her teeth down her throat. I got screwed out of my chance to demonstrate just why I wear these damn belts. And you know what, that’s got me pissed off and ‘diva, tell ’em what happens when I get pissed off.
Godiva: Bout the same ruddy thing wot ‘appens when people tick me off. They ruddy well get ‘urt. All this waitin’ around is gettin’ on me tits, you know. You think you can just freeze us out? Ban us from coming to the GDWA arenas to support Medusa and Sierra? Let me tell you, you’re absolutely wrong, mates. All’s you’ve done is get us right royally mad and that’s not good. Not good at all. Terri, Angela, ducks, you got a bit a reprieve, but if ya think we’re missin’ our date now that we’ve been reinstated you’re dead wrong.
[Dalbello pounds the bag in rapid combinations.]
Dalbello: We got all the fire, all the fury and all the frustration still pent up inside us that we always did. You and us, see, we come from the same place. And there will always be violence between us. You’ve seen the same nonsense we have. Hell, you’re a mirror image of us, but that’s not going to be enough to save your asses when I’m through. Because I’ve got something to prove to you and all those damn people out there who just can’t get it through their heads that the Misfits are it. Well, we are, and damn it if we got to prove it once again, it’s on like a pot of neck bone.
Godiva: You know, we got voted the most ‘ated tag-team in the GDWA. Wot’s that? we too rough for your tastes? Well, that’s all right. I don’t mind that not one little bit. Not one little bit at all. Queens, Syndicate, I know you ‘ate us doncha, not because we’re ruddy well unpopular, but because we’re ruddy well your betters. Look, this is ‘dusa’s world here in the GDWA. That’s a right ruddy fact and we’re her emissaries. You thought you could end the Age of the Rage before it began?
[Dalbello sends a left into the bag that makes it jump.]
Dalbello: You damn well thought wrong. Hyena’s, you’re the first team to be taught a lesson.
Bishop: Those women sound focused. Our inaugural WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, I don’t think the Syndicate or any other Tag Team can honestly beat them.
(Crying can be audibly heard in the background.)
Whalen: Soooo, what do you think of Andrea Chandler and that possible match against Sonya Blade? And do you think Andrea will EVER give Medusa a title shot?
Bishop: What the hell is going on? Why is Sonya Blade crying?
Whalen: Uh, guys, roll the clip of those High Flying Dolls. They’ve got to be top contenders for the World belts!
HIGH FLYING DOLLS
The scene is of 2 women cutting firewood by a rural barn or outbuilding in a snowstorm. 1 is hacking away with her back to the camera & the other is carrying a load of wood. We see that is Lacy Gold of The High Flying Dolls. She stops to address the camera tossing the wood in a pile. Midnight Fury with her axe sans mask turns to the camera wearing a stocking cap with face cover.
Lacy Gold: Well, I everybody, remember us? (Says sarcastically) My partner Midnight Fury & I used to be….still are The High Flying Dolls. We’ve been waiting around for a match since the ppv in San Antonio if you want to call that a match. Otherwise we’ve been doing some wrestling gigs as jobbers so to speak for some small promotions & helping our friend & mentor Bloody Mary train for her matches. But I just got this urgent letter asking for all us tag teams to come on back to the GDWA. I’d love to come back but if we’re just going to warm a bench for Daisy Butterfly or Ma Porter or End up selling popcorn….well, we got better things to do. But if any of you tag teams that tried so hard to avoid us before or any of the new so called promising talent want to give us a shot, well just sign on the dotted line & we’ll be there in a heartbeat.
Midnight Fury: Hey, c’mon Lacy, ease up… it’s not the bookers fault, she’s just pissed off because she went on a spending spree for new outfits & never got to wear them. (Lacy has sheepish look) The simple matter is we are more than happy to see the GDWA Tag Division going again. Since we only met 1 team, the Brownes, we don’t really have any 1 team in mind so we’re going to do this…issue a blanket challenge to any of the teams out there. If you think you can meet our superior technical skills than sign, as Lacy said we’ll be there in a heartbeat. Oh, and if you don’t have the scientific skills or don’t want to use them, hey that’s fine remember we love to fight, too, Thanks to Mary.
Lacy Gold: Any of you we’re ready, except for The Browne Girls, unless you can get it together better than at San Antonio, my god, you call that a match??
Lacy & Fury both hit split logs with their axes as the camera fades
Bishop: Whalen, I’m getting mad…
Whalen: Uh, uh, I wonder if the Misfits will defend against High Flying Dolls or the Syndicate at the pay per view…moving on let’s hear from a new tag team on the scene…the Suicide Blondes!
(SCENE: An old, haunted-looking mansion out in the hills surrounding Hollywood. The inside is furnished in a tacky 1960’s stereotypical movie-star fashion, complete with shag carpet and framed posters depicting movies such as “Psycho” and “The Valley of the Dolls.” Two women enter, decked out lavishly in fake fur coats and pointed cat’s eyes sunglasses. Each woman wears an ungodly amount of rings on their hands. One woman is a beautiful lighter-skinned African-American woman with platinum blonde hair, cut short with the exceptions of styled strands framing her face. The other is a stunning Caucasian with a dyed blonde beehive. They look a bit startled when they see the camera crew.)
Platinum blonde woman: Oh dear! It appears that the GDWA crew came earlier than we expected!
Off-screen voice (camera man): Ma’am, it’s six o’clock. EXACTLY when we said we’d be here…
Beehive: (laughing) Hon, this is Hollywood. You don’t get ANYWHERE exactly when you say you will.
(Both women laugh)
Camera man: Sorry, didn’t know the etiquette. We can come back later…
Platinum: Heaven’s no, sweetie! You had to drive all this way; the least we can do is get this interview in the can for you. First, some introductions. My name is Taylor Monroe and this is my partner Baby Jane Ross. Of the Suicide Blondes.
Baby Jane Ross (Beehive): Don’t let our good looks fool you, dear; we’re more than capable of handling whoever you have us wrestle.
Camera man: I imagine that’s why you were signed…
Taylor Monroe: Ummm…excuse me? Just WHOSE interview is THIS?! I believe the Suicide Blondes have the floor, NOT the Peanut Gallery.
(Monroe snaps her fingers to exaggerate her point)
Baby Jane Ross: Thank you, dear. As I was saying; when Mr. Vessey wanted the best, he went out and found them. Now, I’ve heard that you’ve been having some PROBLEMS as of late in the tag team division? Difficult promoters, difficult managers and difficult TALENT. Seems as if there’s some problems in the Garden of Eden?
Camera man: Well…uh…
(Camera pans quickly over to a scowling Taylor Monroe, which instantly silences the camera man)
Taylor Monroe: That’s what it looks like, dear. You’ve got Misfits fooling around, Hyenas running around and too many Dolls just bumming around. No sophistication in that bunch, none whatsoever. You’ve got these STRIKE girls-have you seen a picture of them, Jane? Positively grotesque. I swear, they must be anorexic or something…
Baby Jane Ross: Very. Or perhaps men-have you seen their arms? Their chests, even! Talk about a boob job…
Taylor Monroe: As if! I guess their story is that they’re gymnasts. And then they’ve got their manager…
Baby Jane Ross: Bela Karoyli with a deep tan…
Taylor Monroe: Or Bela Lugosi. Ugggghhh!!
Baby Jane Ross: How about the Dangerous Dolls? Lisa Thomas…luscious? As if! Hon, you’ve got a pretty face-but so does RuPaul. I swear, dear; I’ve seen more feminine “women” out along Sunset after midnight!
Taylor Monroe: I swear. I guess I don’t understand Lady Starr, either. Why would someone CHOOSE to go ghetto? Especially after coming from Tokyo of all places. Truly boggles my mind.
Baby Jane Ross: For real. How about Dark Asylum?
Camera man: Ummm, they don’t…
(Both Suicide Blondes turn and scowl at the camera)
Camera man: …tag…anymore…Demonica…suspended…
Baby Jane Ross: THAT’S a relief-I swear, they’d make Ed Wood blush!
Taylor Monroe: Rosemary’s Baby…all grown up…
Baby Jane Ross: TOO grown, dear. And she looked so positively wretched in those rags! Miss Thing needs to treat herself to a make-over. If she can’t afford it she needs to call Sally Jesse Raphael or someone. Anyone. Mother Theresa’s wardrobe probably costs more than hers!
Taylor Monroe: As if! Mother Theresa has a vow of poverty going on…
Baby Jane Ross: So does Madame Hecate, now that her cash cow (and I do mean cow) has been suspended. Wednesday Adams isn’t going to get the job done for her.
Taylor Monroe: “Wednesday” just won a title shot against Charlotte La Mancha. Please, that’ll be interesting. Charlotte’s in such bad shape now she cries when she puts the Internet Championship belt on. I heard her body is so malformed now that doctors actually thought she was pregnant!
Baby Jane Ross: She’s got a baby on the way, sweetie. Her name is BAD LUCK. I think she might even have triplets with all the grief in her life. I take it her and the Dangerous Queen are not going to be competing for the tag team belts?
Taylor Monroe: Not hardly! Maybe her and Daisy Butterfly? Now THAT would be a team-“The Walking Wounded.” They couldn’t even take an Irish Whip without their noses bleeding! How EITHER of them made it beyond the kiddie table I DON’T know…
Baby Jane Ross: Oh, for real, dear!
Camera man: NOW I’VE HEARD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH!!
(The Suicide Blondes look at the camera with confused-almost humored expressions on their faces as the camera man lashes out)
Camera man: YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT STAND HERE AND INSULT EVERY GRAND DRAGON SUPERSTAR THAT YOU MENTIONED!! WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT WAS SO GREAT?! I LISTENED AS YOU ATTACKED STRIKE AND DEMONICA BUT THERE IS *NO WAY* THAT I’M GONNA JUST SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO YOU MAKE FUN OF CHARLOTTE LA MANCHA AND DAISY BUTTERFLY!! THOSE TWO WOMEN ARE PHENOMENAL ATHLETES AND THE CORNERSTONES OF THE GDWA!! THE FANS LOVE THEM!!
(The Suicide Blondes stand silent for a brief minute, just staring into the camera)
Taylor Monroe: Finished?
Baby Jane Ross: The fans love them? Just wait…wait until the fans meet us…
Taylor Monroe: You’re done here, sweetie. Pack up your little Pixelvision camera and your flashlights and ride on out of here. Tell Mr. Vessey about your little tirade and see just how long you get to carry that piece of equipment on your shoulder. I think I hear your mother calling you home for dinner, anyway…
Camera man: I was supposed to follow you for the evening…you can’t just kick me out of here…
Taylor Monroe: Oooh, I CAN’T? I don’t recall seeing YOUR name on the lease!
Baby Jane Ross: MEEEEOW, Pussycat!! Kill! Kill!
Taylor Monroe: Get your little BONY ASS back on your tricycle before you make us do something that we’d have NO PROBLEMS doing. You had your chance at witnessing the Suicide Blonde night-life firsthand and you blew it. Go.
Camera man: Would it help if I apologized…?
Taylor Monroe: GO.
Baby Jane Ross: That’s a wrap, dear.
(Camera cuts off to “snow”…)
Whalen: The Suicide Blondes are truly an odd…
Bishop: Mike, don’t make me kick your ass. I think Paul Laurence might even be crying! What the hell is so bad…?
(Mike Whalen straightens up and looks directly into the camera.)
Whalen: Allen, wrestling fans…I was informed earlier tonight that our inaugural and 2 time WESTERN HERITAGE CHAMPION ‘Dangerous Queen’ Sachie Yokoyama has…
(Clears his throat…)
Whalen: The fax that we received stated that there was some kind of car accident in Tokyo as she was heading over to the airport…they are still trying to find the body, but…
(He shakes his head.)