Comments from Radhi Ananda, Hyena Queens, The Misfits, Bloody Mary and more.
(The scene is one of Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance studios located in Tacoma, Washington. Two men are sitting behind a desk. They are wearing a blue blazer with the GDWA logo on the right side. A woman sits between them with a red and brown suit jacket and skirt. The lights start to come up, and “Atomic Dog” by Parliament–the GDWA theme music–begins to play.)
Dunbar: Wrestling fans, I’m Paul Laurence Dunbar with Allen Bishop and Sonya Blade bringing you the Friday Night Tease. SO much going on during April Fool’s Day! The Tuesday Night Cat Fight was TRULY a Catfight.
Blade: That’s an understatement! We start off with the Hyena Queens on the House of Styles degrading the MISFITS. Later on in the card the Misfits disrupt the tag match between the Double Otanashis and the Burning Rain….
Bishop: SO much going on! Wow! And fans, this weekend’s card is gonna blow the ROOF off the House…
Dunbar: Fans, let’s start things off with words from the FORMER Western Heritage Champion ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda. She’s finally broken her silence, and has some stark words for another Former Champion….
(SCENE: Dark, pitch dark in the background. Illuminated solely in the foreground by flickering off-screen candles is “JUNGLE” RADHI ANANDA, and she does not look happy. Her black hair is wild and mottled; her skin seems to hold a lighter hue due to an all-over coating of gray ashes. She wears her tiger-print wrestling garb and several large beaded necklaces.)
Radhi: Excessive pride has always been a part of tragedy. For you, Andrea Chandler, it remains in motion. Your hubris led you astray on Founder’s Day and directly into the Jungle. Do you now rest on your laurels and call what you did to me “revenge”? Perhaps, if you choose to delude yourself.
For months, you have you talked a great game of revenge against me. For holding my belt against Legend Duran. For demonstrating the role of a true champion. For giving you just a small taste of the Eighth Wonder in the eye of the hurricane. And you plotted; finding your only course in attacking me and indirectly helping Officer Order once again hold the Western Heritage title.
Tell me, Andrea Chandler; where have you met your objective? By ensuring that the Western Heritage title went from worthy hand to worthy hand? The Black Mother consoles me. She holds me against her breast and tells me that regaining that belt is not my path. Not now. We know that Sri Order remains just and capable and will once again be the great champion she was before.
And you, Andrea Chandler. You, too, felt the fall from grace that you wished on me. Do you still feel vindicated? Do you feel anything, going from hunted to hunter? To the Grand Dragon now, you are nothing. Who seeks you out? Who wishes to battle you now?
Just this one. Nothing to defend or win anymore. All that remains is all that will ever remain. Chaos. Andrea Chandler, you have entered the Jungle now. The path leading in was all too easy for you, but the path out will be nothing short of MURDER. This is a declaration of war.
Bishop: Wow! A declaration of war? WE saw Radhi Ananda on Tuesday Night pointing out to Tiffany Chandler. I thought Radhi wanted to do battle with the ‘Brilliant’ one from Yale! I don’t understand…
Blade: Jungle has been unorthodox throughout her career. I’m not sure what her intentions are, but I’ll tell ya that Andrea Chandler has something to think about other than Organized Crime…
Dunbar: Speaking of which, it was AMAZING how Medusa Rage and the Syndicate came to terms like that on the HOUSE of STYLES. My word, Medusa and Andrea shook hands…
Blade: And Medusa has even more to say from what I hear. But we better save that for later tonight! The Hyena Queens and the Misfits are continuing the war of words, and this just may spill out into the aisles.
Dunbar: Fans, let’s hear from the Hyena Queens, and then, the WORLD Tag Team Champions.
(The scene is a penthouse in Pine Bluff, Arkansas. The Hyena Queens are in a hot tub wearing bikinis and drinking some margaritas….)
<‘Technician’ Terry McMillen> Before we talk about Medusa Rage, let me inform those Cruiserweight Dikes Daisy Butterfly and Officer Order that we’re waiting for your answer. You see, the ‘Queens of the Ring’ The Hyena Queens won’t be ignored. Make up your minds, before we make them up for you….
(She takes a sip from her glass and props herself up on her elbows. She smiles dreamily, savoring the taste, and then glares into the camera.)
<‘Technician’ Terry McMillen> ….now let’s get to the business at hand. On the House of Styles MEDUSA, we dragged you ‘out of the closet’ and talked about you like the dog that you are…
<‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett> That’s right! We made mockery of the copper belts held by your MISFITS. And that’s no disrespect to the tiles…hell, we want them so they must be worth 24k! But how many times have you girls defended those prestigious Tag Belts of yours? Twice?
<‘Technician’ Terry McMillen> (Laughing!) Misfits, what kind of cowards are you anyway? You break up a no time limit tag match between the Double Yoko-Ono’s and the Burning Rain yet you claim you want to ‘clean up’ Grand Dragon? Plllllllease!
(A bodybuilder in bikini trunks walks over with a tray to take away their glasses. Angela raises an eyebrow to him as Terry glares back at the camera.)
<‘Technician’ Terry McMillen> Misfits, they say you girls are unbeatable…so are we! Ask the Glad-gals!!! They are the kind of wrestlers who got guts. I guess you won’t be defending against them either, will ya?
<‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett> So now you go and defend against the same team you attacked…Burning Rain. (Screaming!) Well we don’t care! Bottom line is…we want the winner of that match.
(Angela Bassett stands, with fury in her eyes as her muscles bulge and tighten!!)
<‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett> Misfits, Burning Rain, it is gonna be a long hot summer. The Queens of the Ring aren’t going anywhere and we WILL get our title shot! And after you spend the night layin’ on your back, you like all the rest of these jobbers in the GDWA will know that the HYENA QUEENS are the best thing happening today!
<‘Technician’ Terry McMillen> Make no mistake about it, the Big Lady said it best. And that reminds me, there’s a lesson that you can learn from this.
<‘Powerbomb’ Angela Bassett> Take on the best and get jobbed like the rest!
<‘Technician’ Terry McMillen> I like the sound of that. Cheers!
(Camera fades to black as the two ladies are heard cackling in the background toasting one another.)
Bishop: Wow! The Hyena Queens with more foul words for Medusa Rage. And they STILL want a tag match with Daisy Butterfly and Officer Order? What is that even about?
Dunbar: I don’t know, we’ll just have to see…but we wouldn’t do this justice without hearing words from the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS the Misfits!
Extreme Close up of the Misfits. Dalbello and Godiva kneel before the cameras, the belts draped over their shoulders. Their hazel eyes have a brilliant gleam to them. The cameras pull back to show them kneeling before their interview set in their wrestling gear. They wear the black spandex bikini with the chain links. Godiva’s thick blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail. Dalbello’s ebony tresses are curled into a flip.]]
Dalbello: They say the champions are supposed to be the ones who are the hunted…
[Tara: Hey, wait a minute! That’s the Misfits running down to the ring!!
(CROWD POPS BIG TIME!)
Allan: What are they up to? What do they care about these two teams? Godiva and Dalbello jump in and gang up on Gojira!
Allen: She drops Kurumi and tries to fight off the two Misfits, but they hold her and kick her ribs, then pound on her back and neck with two double-axhandle chops!]
Cut to: The Misfits
Godiva: Well nobody ruddy well told us that…
[Tara: It’s mayhem in there! Leave it to the Misfits to interfere in a match after that warning by President Vessey!
Allan: Not only that, but they came to ringside at a no time-limit match! The Rain are exhausted! They can’t defend themselves!]
Dalbello: See, GDWA, you’ve opened a can of worms you really shouldn’t have. You pushed the Misfits’ buttons one too many times. Vessey, your impotence astounds me. You know, people are gonna be calling for our heads on this one. Well, don’t point the finger at us. Point it at yourself. You’re the real culprit. See, you brought us in here in the first place. You knew our style. You knew what we were about and you did nothing. Why? Because the ratings were high. The people were so hot they lit the building on fire. Vessey, you’re garbage. You even let us win the tournament in controversial fashion. Your trouble was you thought you could control the flame. You thought you could put the Misfits in check.
Godiva: Ducks, you ruddy well thought wrong! Look ‘ere, mate. You’ve screwed us over time and ruddy well time again. Right, first of all, you just ‘and us the belts even though we didn’t beat nobody for ’em. Probably figured that would shut up these dolly birds, eh? Well, it didn’t. It just made things worse cause we never ruddy well felt like champions.
Dalbello: Sin number two. You cancelled our defense against the Hyena Queens at Dawg Pound Nights. We were going to show the world exactly what we could do against those Hyena Queens. You robbed us of that. Bad move.
Godiva: Sin numba three. You had the nerve to suspend Lady D until Founder’s Day. We was gonna tear apart those Suicide Blondes. ‘ell, you wouldn’t even let me defend the belts alone. No, that’s just ruddy awful. You think we forgot about that?
Dalbello: Four. You blacked out our match at Founder’s Day Tradition. Not smart. You think we’re too violent, but you show the match on free TV. Garbage. You just wanted to dim our spotlight and when people pointed the finger at Medusa you sat back and said nothing. Not smart. Spineless, gutless jellyfish.
Godiva: So you know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna get even worse. You think you can control us? Go ahead and try. It ain’t so ruddy easy, mate. Tell you how it’s gonna go. We’re gonna ‘urt teams, legal like. See, Burning Rain? They’re just the first. Why them? Why not? They’re weak, they’re useless and we prey on the weak and the strong. Maria, Gojira, say goodnight ducks. We’ll be seeing you in ‘ell.
Dalbello: The champion is now the challenger. That’s a bona fide fact. And let me tell you that we’re going to do just that. So Burning Rain, you’re just the tune up for the main movement in our concerto of chaos, our symphony of sadism. See, the Hyena Queens are right at the top of our list. They’re the ones who’ve got to go.
Godiva: The African Dawgs betta learn one thing. This isn’t about Medusa. ‘ell no… See, ‘dusa and us, we’ve come to a little understanding. She wants to go on this mission of peace and love … fine. But she won’t be includin’ us for any length of time. Right. We’ve never been peaceful people. We like the battle. ‘dusa, I don’t know what she’s thinking sometimes, but there’s definitely nothing in this for us. Because we’re coming to jack you. Calling ‘dusa white, Dawgs? You really think that’s gonna ‘elp you? Really? That’s gonna ‘urt, believe you me. That’s gonna ‘urt real bad like.
[Notorious B.I.G.’s “N*ggas Bleed Like Us” fade up over Dalbello with its ominous soundtrack.]
Dalbello: Listen to the song, Basset, McMillen. You’ve got to learn exactly what it is we’re talking about. You think you got us shook? Hell no. We’re comin’ for you. We’re hunting you. You may be hyenas, but we’re lions and we’re gonna tear you laughing jackasses apart.
[B.I.G.: N*ggas bleed like us/Picture me being scared of a n*gga that breathe the same air as me/N*ggas bleed like us/Picture me being shook/we can both pull burners make the muhfuhing beef cook.]
Godiva: You ‘ave a beef with us, ‘yenas. We’ve got a beef with you.
Dalbello: We’re both evenly matched and undefeated. You know when we meet again that’s gonna all be changed. You’ll be lucky if you walk out of this one alive.
Godiva: Say goodnight, girls.
Dalbello: Your lives are in our hands. Don’t sleep, chickenheads. You wanna live like ghetto trash. You’ll die like ghetto trash.
[Fade to black, the Notorious B.I.G. playing loud in the background.]
B.I.G.: N*ggas Bleed Just Like Us/imagine me hidin’/my life in that man’s hand while he decidin’/N*ggas bleed just like us/I’d rather go toe-to-toe with all of y’all/runnin’ ain’t in my protocol.
Dunbar: Wrestling fans that sounds like the beginnings of a war…
(Mike Whalen runs onto the set, hands him a piece of paper, and immediately exits.)
Bishop: What’s that?
Dunbar: Fans, apparently we will hear word from Denmark Vessey, President of the Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance later on tonight.
Bishop: Wow! You know it is curious to note that the MISFITS would be so blatantly disregarding the rules. You don’t think Pres. Vessey would strip the MISFITS Of the belts?
Blade: Well, the Hyena Queens have been attempting to sullen the MISFITS’ reputations along with Medusa Rage.
Dunbar: Fans, let’s look at the card for tomorrow nights Saturday Nite Special…
1) Officer Order vs. Sierra Browne (Cruiserweight title tournament match!)
2) ‘Jumping’ Jennifer Grier vs. ‘the Kyoto Crippler’ Keiko Mita (Cruiserweight title tournament match!)
3) Bloody Mary vs. ‘Fear Factory’ Lanny Manson
4) Burning Rain vs. MISFITS (World Tag Team titles!)
Dunbar: Fans, we have a big match tomorrow night. The Main Event has Bloody Mary going up against the Legendary ‘Fear Factory’ Lanny Manson.
Bishop: And I can’t wait to see that! The two best fist fighters in professional wrestling FINALLY at each other’s throats.
Blade: And curious to note that Bloody Mary had nothing to say regarding Lanny Manson. Perhaps this match signing was last minute. Let’s hear some prerecorded comments from Bloody Mary…
(Scene is Bloody Mary working out punching heavy mitts with trainer knocking him back, she stops & addresses the camera, with a look of outright rage)
Bloody Mary: (Speaking thru clenched teeth) I don’t know if this will be seen before or after my match with Fresh Meat Jenny & it doesn’t’ really matter because this has to do solely with comments made by you Keiko Mita!! HOW DARE YOU ASSUME I’M A SNAKE FOR THE SYNDICATE!!
YOU CAN REST ASSURED WITH ALL YOUR IDEALS…Babe…THAT…I AM NOT OR NEVER WILL BE A MEMBER OR DUPE OF THE SYNDICATE! TO SET THIS BIG DEBACLE TO REST ONCE & FOR ALL… (Calming) I was there at the Chandler/ Rage fight to help Medusa get a fair shake when reliable word at it that the little worm Micki Duran was set to Pearl Harbor Medusa. Whoops! Shouldn’t mention Pearl Harbor around you, eh, Keiko? The BIGGEST question was what were you doing there beating on Tiffany Chandler? YOU…more or less added the most fuel to that melee which SHOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED!! I started beating on you simply because I didn’t know who I was beating on or who was beating on ME! WHAT WERE YOU DOING THERE KEIKO?? MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF AGENDA OR BELONG TO SOME GROUP OR WOULD THAT OFFEND YOUR IDEALS?? Your ideals…YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!! I KNOW YOU!! One LAST word of warning, Keiko. We parted ways a long time ago…So…KEEP YOUR A** OUT OF MY BUSINESS…GOT IT…GOOD…BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T…….. WELL. Do you want to find OUT??
(Calming down & smiling) I see we have still another Jenny…Jenny Tyler, well more fresh meat, after I teach Jennifer Grier the TRUE ways of the GDWA…your next!!
Bishop: Bloody Mary sounds as pumped as I’ve ever heard her.
Blade: And Ms. Tyler who hasn’t even wrestled yet in Grand Dragon now will have a challenge to contend with! Will she accept?
Dunbar: Mary perhaps has found her niche in the wrestling community. It would be a huge match for her if she signs against Bloody Mary. Fans, let’s hear from new comer Jenny Tyler.
(Camera on Jenny Tyler, sitting in a studio in street clothes)
JT- So, I should take that stupid commentator’s advice, fine. Lanny Manson, former champion, big deal!! All former means is that you got your ass whooped. I’ll take your open contract and I’ll show you why you’re a former champion, and why you’re washed up.
Bishop: Strong words for the rookie. She’s challenging Lanny Manson?
Blade: She wants to make a name for herself, and that is TOTALLY understandable.
Dunbar: Funny how she wishes to challenge the same woman Bloody Mary faces tomorrow night. Fans, speaking of challenges, we’ve got more regarding Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary’s opponent on the Tuesday Night Catfight was ‘Jumping’ Jennifer Grier. She had some words to say…
[“Big” Rob Tucker is sitting in the doctor’s office. He seems like he is waiting for something… or someone. The doctor comes out, leading Jennifer Grier out. She has a bandage over her throat. Rob gets up to see her]
Tucker: You ok, Jen? I can’t believe the beating you took.
Grier: (in a shaky voice) I can. I wasn’t even prepared for this type of match. What the hell was that? Bloody Mary… maybe I should have considered that you are the heel. Good thing for me the rest of your clan didn’t get down to ringside.
[Rob tries to console her]
Grier: You were right, Rob. Time for me to take this much more serious. More gym time for me. More weights. And I’ll tell you what, Mary. Keep your clan away from me. I’ll get you in the ring again sometime, and I can guarantee you, the results will be different.
[Rob goes to help Jen, but she pushes him away and storms out of the door of the doctor’s office]
Bishop: The rookie wishing to make an impression, unfortunately falling to the rulebreaker.
Blade: And I predict Bloody Mary will fall to the ‘Fear Factory’ Lanny Manson much in the same way.
Dunbar: Another legend in Grand Dragon faces a woman who is hungry for the Cruiserweight Title! Let’s hear words from Sierra Browne…
A golden shower trickles down the screen as Sierra whirls towards the cameras. Her hair is streaked with gold, her skin misted with gold paint. She whips of gold-encrusted sunglasses and smiles brightly.]
Sierra: Order, the time is drawing near. I can’t wait to get it on, girl. People are already saying you’re going to be conservative in this match. I hope not because this one has classic written all over it. Order, bring your entire game to the dance. Because I will. I don’t want any excuses. I don’t want any rest from you. This is our chance to show the hold world exactly what two great ATHLETES can do without outside influence. It’s gonna be wonderful! It’s gonna be amazing. Order, I want to see the woman that beat Radhi Ananda, not the woman who lost to Andrea Chandler. Who knows, when I win, when I take the cruiserweight title? I see a brilliant title-for-title match between us. See you Saturday. Who loves you, baby. Whoosh!!!!
Bishop: Sierra Browne as serious as I’ve ever heard her.
Blade: She’s hungry. And anytime a wrestler is hungry she is dangerous.
Dunbar: Yes, she’s hungry, but ONLY hungry for the singles division. What happened to the tag team of the Browne Girls? Wouldn’t at least Indigo Browne want a shot at the Tag Belts? I mean, what has she been doing lately?
Blade: Well, at least Sierra is furthering her own career. She and Officer Order get in on Saturday Night!
Dunbar: It should truly be a great match. Fans, a woman who is a heavy favorite in this tournament is the 1996 Ironwoman of Grand Dragon…’the Franchise’ Daisy Butterfly!
(SCENE: DAISY BUTTERFLY, dressed in a cut-off white T-shirt and a white cowboy hat. Pinned over her left breast is a plastic gold badge. Through a slight smile, she speaks in a fake Texas accent.)
Daisy: Well, what do we have here? Seems like a few ornery bulls that call themselves the Hyena Queens decided to make themselves known by starting a ruckus with the law in these parts. Girls, you’re catching this cowgirl at the WRONG TIME. You see, I’m a bit mad. I’m finding myself slipping down in these ranks; all due to the return of one jealous wench known as Zaranna.
Let me tell yall about this Zaranna girl. Now, last time I saw her, she was heading back to the dressing room eating a great big old basket of sour grapes; watching myself get crowned Ironwoman. She kinda has this problem with me seems like she just can’t get the moxie to face me one-on-one or even face-to-face. Now, she always had to hit me in the back with these Z-Blasters and do her best to bang me up prior to my matches. Now if that ain’t lower than a lizard’s belly, I don’t what is. So she comes back and winds up sticking outta Ma Porter’s backside cause once again she knows that all this competition is too much for her. That’s all fine and dandy with me, cause I got myself the roughest, toughest law-dog this side of Wyatt Earp on my side.
The Western Heritage sheriff, Officer May Order. She knows a bit about this “Organized Crime” thing yall got going on.
Now these Hyenas. Well, seems to me that they want a piece of myself and Double O. Girls, I’d be happy to oblige. All ya gotta do is get May to sit down with the contract and it’s as good as gold. We specialize in sending folks outta town and back into the desert. Show me what yall got.
And Micki Duran, a promise is a promise and I’m gonna hold you to it. A might sporty of you to offer me shot at your goldmine, but it’ll have to wait a few days. Zaranna, Hyena Queens; you varmints are in the spotlight now
(Daisy cracks a wide smile and takes her hat off. Blushing, she turns and speaks off-screen.)
Daisy: Yo, I’m never doing that voice again!
Blade: Daisy Butterfly rather focused yet addressing all the issues at hand….
Bishop: Daisy is truly a class act, but she better be careful about this Zaranna. She’s a woman that has become dangerous. Z is on the hit list of the Syndicate as well as Daisy Butterfly.
Dunbar: Let us mention for a second that Zaranna and Ma Porter have been silent for the most part since Founder’s Day Tradition. Fans, they are set to appear on the HOUSE of STYLES on Saturday Nite. I can’t wait.
Blade: Speaking of wrestlers returning to the ring, we have comments from the woman formerly known as Lady Starr. Here is Miko Azai….
(In front of the GDWA Banner)
David Jones: The Tokyo Thriller Miko Azai is back badder than ever looking to destroy anyone female who step in her way. She, put her former tag team partner “Luscious” Lisa Thomas out of wrestling for good. She’s is going wild. Who can stop her? No one!
Miko Azai: I’m back! GDWA. Dementia Praecox World Champion I want you! ‘The Legend’ Micki Duran Internet Champion I Want you! And Officer Order W.H. Champion I want you too! I want to dismantle all of you because I’m sick and tired of being left behind in the GDWA! Being #14 is a bad Number in my book! But, I’m accepting challenges from anyone so if you got what it takes to defeat me bring it on. DJ Tell them what else is going on!
DJ: Miko Azai is looking for a tag team partner so if you got what it takes to win the gold write us at our address you can get it from the GDWA Office.
(Camera fades to black)
Bishop: Well, the return of Miko Azai! And she is having an open contract?
Blade: I wonder how Lady Tiger will take that. Remember, Lady Tiger wanted a crack at Miko Azai at Founder’s Day Tradition!
Dunbar: We have comments from Lady Tiger, though they are in regards to GDWA and CCW superstar ‘Sexy’ Sally McClane…
(The scene opens up inside one of GDWA’s personal training gyms. Charlotte LaMancha, former GDWA Internet Champion, is overseeing the workout of GDWA’s masked wonder, Lady Tiger. Tiger’s in the ring, bouncing off the ropes and looking exhausted, hinting at the fact she’s been at this awhile. Charlotte notices the camera and blows a whistle)
Charlotte: Break time, kiddo!!
(Tiger rolls out of the ring and grabs the water bottle offered to her, gulping it down.)
Charlotte: Camera crew’s here. Anything you want to say?? Maybe you’d like to console poor Ms. McClane on her loss? (Chuckling)
(Tiger takes a gasp of breath, regains her composure slightly, and turns to the camera)
Tiger: Sally McClane. Charlotte and I attended your debut match last week, ma cherie. A great match, ruined by a sore loser. Sally, your brutal attack was just the kind of thing that drove myself, Officer Order, Daisy Butterfly and Lanny Manson together. You WILL NOT get away with that, tant pis.
Charlotte: Maybe now that “Her Royal Highness” has been humbled, we can finally get that match signed?
Charlotte: Hey, what did I do??? As a matter of fact, I sent Ms. McClane some flowers just after her match to cheer her up!!
Tiger: QUOI?? . . . Was that really necessary?? Um, I mean . . . I am all for making friends, but Sally . . .
Charlotte (grinning): Don’t worry about it!
Tiger: Well . . . anyway. Sally, if you would like to test your skills against the Tiger, name the time and place. I will be ready. Now, as for the Cruiserweight tournament. It seems our prompt response earned me a bye through Round one! That’s what a good manager will do for you!
(Flashes a grin at Charlotte)
Charlotte: Hey, flattery will get you nowhere, girl.
Tiger: Well, the second round should make up for it. Either way, it’s going to be a tough match. On one side, it could be Sierra Browne, who has recently devoted herself to singles competition, and lost 10 lbs. just to be in this tournament!! On the other hand, maybe it will be Officer Order, the Western Heritage champion and GDWA veteran!! Either way, it will not be an easy match. But I look forward to the challenge, nonetheless.
Charlotte: Well, enough talk. Back to work . . .
Tiger: WAIT!! Can I say one more thing??
Charlotte: Vite vite!!
Tiger: OK, this would refer to Medusa Rage and Andrea Chandler, who somehow thought up the idea that myself, Officer Order, Daisy Butterfly and Lanny Manson banded together to join the gang wars. We “banded together” to stop groups like “The Serpentines” and “The Syndicates” from influencing the outcomes in matches. Nothing more, nothing less.
Charlotte: Isn’t it kind of . . . ironic, that two biggest perpetrators of outside interference are now the ones who want things back “The Old Way”?
Tiger: <sigh> Well, if they are being truthful, then our job is already half finished.
Charlotte: All right, that’s enough!! Hit the ropes!!
[Scene fades out as tiger starts bouncing off the ropes again]
Bishop: (Laughing) Lady Tiger is REALLY growing on me! I swear, the acquisition of Charlotte La Mancha has really improved her…
Blade: Well, nothing is as priceless as this next clip. Charlotte mentioned sending ‘Sexy’ Sally some flowers. Well, let’s watch this clip from the ‘Sexy’ woman of the GDWA…
[The scene slowly fades in from black to a shot of a large house that sets on a sandy beach. All is quiet and tranquil and the only noise that is heard is that of the waves splashing against the shore. The scene cuts over to that of one that appears to be inside the large house and a shot of none other than “SEXY” Sally McClane sitting on a large couch. She wears a small plaid skirt along with some black shoes and knee high socks. Which goes well with her thing silk white shirt and black suspenders. She smiles gently as in the other room Mohammed and Trey are seen watching on intently.]
Sally: Well Crimson, looks that you may have got the best of me in the CCW, but things like that won’t happen again! I would like to welcome everyone to the home of “The Bullet” Ricky Revolution!! The NEW CCW International Champion and my man!! For those who watched the full PPV you know what I’m talking about, but for the losers out there that just saw me in my GDWA match you don’t have a clue. You’re probably thinking that my managerial services are employed by one CCW West Coast Champion! “GQ” Geoffrey Quartz, but like I said you don’t have a clue!! If you had watched on into the event you would have seen MOI leave ringside with the GREATEST Pro Wrestler in not only the CCW, but in the world, Ricky Revolution!!! I wanted Rick to be here so that all of you feeble minded idiots that weren’t accustomed to good wrestling, could meet him but he’s got other responsibilities, being a champion and all!!
As for you Crimson! I had to let you win of course. It was all just part of the “PLAN” that me and Ricky had!!! GQ had to feel on top and that he was better than me, I had to have something to complain about so that he would think I needed him!! [Laughs] But what a load of bullshit that was huh? [Laughs again] And Crimson, if ever you want to give it a whirl again, give me a ring, and I’ll put your shoulders to the mat!!! ONE…TWO…THREE!!!!!!!!!
And there’s another little prissy do gooder I’d like to talk to now, and that’s you Lady Tiger… [Sally is suddenly interrupted by the sound of a doorbell. She looks around then gets a disgusted look on her face] Mo’ could you see who that is, and if it’s not REALLY important, tell them to get lost!!!!!
[Mohammed is seen walking out of view in the room behind Sally as she turns back to the camera]
Sally: One of the perils of being a star, everyone is always wanting to see you!!!
[Mohammed then walks back into the room holding a bouquet of flowers]
Sally: Who are these from?
Sally: OH! They’re probably from Rick!!! He’s just THE sweetest guy!!!!
[She smiles as she takes the flowers.]
[Then just as she goes to smell them a pop is heard and bright BLUE ink flies all over Sally, Mohammed and the couch. As Sally’s face turns from a smile to a cross between hatred and sadness]
Sally: WHAT THE HELL?!? [She jumps up and looks at Mohammed] WHO ARE THESE FROM?!??
[He reaches down and then lifts up a small card in a red envelope. Sally takes it from him and rips it open angrily then throws it down after its read and storms out of sight. The camera man then closes in on the card which lays on the floor]
[ON THE CARD]: “Dear Sally, Thought you might be feeling BLUE, after your loss, so I sent you these to cheer you up! Sincerely yours, Charlotte La Mancha
[The camera man zooms back and looks around as Sally and now Mohammed and Trey too are nowhere to be found and the screen fades to black]
Dunbar: Thank you for joining us Vice President De La Cruz.
(Laughter can be heard throughout the studio as Paul Laurence Dunbar grabs hold of his composure…)
Dunbar: Fans… (Giggling a little)…let’s go to Who’s Hot/Who’s Not with Medusa Rage for this week!
Medusa Rage stands before the camera in her red cat suit, her dreadlocks wrapped around her head in a top knot. Serpentine is coiled around her shoulders. She smiles.]
Medusa: GDWA, were you watching? Did you see me take Tiffy Chandler apart FAIRLY? See, what the beauty of individual competition is. See, one-on-one there isn’t anybody out there who can beat me. Nobody. And that’s just a fact — old schooler, new schooler, it just doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. Now is the time for Medusa to shine. It’s time for Medusa to march straight to the top. It’s all one-love now. We doin’ it like players. Organized Crime, go about your business. Do whatever you got to, but do stay out of my way. I ain’t about to let anybody get in my way again. The Matriarch is back. And I’ve expanded my empire. See, I’m running the GDWA altogether now. And there isn’t really a damn thing anybody can do about that individually. Of course, you all knew that, didn’t you? Let’s get to the point of this, though. Founder’s Day has come and gone. Let’s see who’s hot and who’s just a bunch of cold ashes.
[The camera pulls back. Medusa is lounging on her divan. Next to her in the shot is a tall, attractive Black woman with microbraids. She’s taller than Medusa and broad-shouldered. Some people might recognize her as a Serpentine.]
Medusa: Okay, let’s start this off right, Marissa. Who’s Hot/Who’s Not. People keep saying I’m annoying and all that, but they keep coming back to hear what I got to say. So I told them. No more studios for me. I’m chillin’ at home. Mariss, you get in on this. Do a little of my work for me.
Marissa: Me? I don’t know, ‘dus.
Medusa: It’s easy. You were with me in that fight against the Syndicate at Founder’s Day. Who do you think shone like a jewel?
Marissa: I gotta say I was impressed with Officer Order.
Medusa: You’re right. Officer May Order was hot. That Frankensteiner pulling Radhi Ananda right out the air? Beautiful! And Radhi is hot herself. Man she was showing me moves that I couldn’t believe!
Marissa: Oh damn, you know who else impressed me. That psycho chick. You know the one.
Medusa: Oh, Dementia Praecox. The one who wants me to be her friend. Yeah, look, she wrestled twice and should have won both times. She’s won the Internet title and the World title in the space of a few short weeks. Yes, I’ve got to say that Dementia is hot.
Marissa: all right, who else.
Medusa: Charles Oakley. That brotha is fine. He just gets to me. He stirs something in me like a swizzle stick. I don’t even know if he knows.
Marissa: He’s not in GDWA, is he? Who’s hot here?
Medusa: All right. Just give me a moment. I gotta get Charles out of my head. [Medusa takes several long deep breaths. She smiles wickedly and purrs.] No, that’s not doing it, is it. Okay, think Daisy Butterfly. Yup, that heat is gone.
Marissa: Daisy Butterfly is cold?
Medusa: Like a damn Popsicle. First she pulls out of a weak and injury ravaged field of battle royal participants for a shot at the Internet title. Then she walks right into Micki Duran and loses. I don’t care if Zaranna held her legs down. What are you doing by the ropes in a Syndicate match? I’ve always watched this girl come up short. No, I’ll have to say that she is very, very cold.
Marissa: who else do you have on your list?
Medusa: Nomad. She picked Nelli as a partner? Pure garbage. Lanny Manson. Who cares if you’re back. You’ll be a ghost the next time you lose. And Keiko, girl, you got a lot to learn before you heat up.
Marissa: What about tag-teaming?
Medusa: You know there’s this squad that calls itself Burning Rain. I don’t know. It should be freezing rain because I haven’t seen anything out of those two yet. Expect them to be Misfits fodder. That’s all I can say. And the Browne Girls, well, Sierra’s doing her own thing right about now and I don’t know what’s up with Indigo. She’s feeling a little itchy, you know?
Marissa: You’re calling the Browne Girls cold? Damn, heads ain’t gonna like that.
Medusa: Heads never like what I got to say.
Marissa: So nobody else is hot?
Medusa: Of course. Andrea Chandler fought a great match and got suckered. She’s still one of the most dangerous wrestlers around. Bloody Mary just handled Jennifer Grier like a complete rookie and she’s been emulating me, you know. That’s always a good sign. On the tag team scene the Suicide Blondes and the Hyena Queens are still making noise.
Marissa: So, who’s the hottest of them all, though?
[Medusa licks a finger and touches it to her hip. She pulls it away pretending to be burned.]
Medusa: Do you really need to ask. Charles, I burnt myself. Will you bring that big, fine 6’9 well-dressed, powerful, dark chocolate, beautiful hair … ah damn I ain’t been this bad in a long time. I just love being me. Oooh!!!! Hugs and hisses y’all.
[Fade out as Notorious B.I.G.’s “Another” with L’il Kim. Medusa sings along.]
Medusa: What do you do when your man is untrue/you cut tha sucker off an find someone new/ Like Charles Oakley OH YEAH!!!!
Marissa: Girl, you’re crazy. You know that right?
Bishop: Wow! Medusa Rage…..
Dunbar: Hold on! Fans, we’ve got President Denmark Vessey on the line! President Vessey, glad to have you on the show.
Vessey: Thank you for having me.
Blade: President Vessey, what is your announcement?
Vessey: I heard what the Misfits, managed by Ms. Medusa Rage, had to say regarding myself and the Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance! I also witnessed their actions on the Tuesday Night Catfight.
Blade: And your ruling is? Suspension? Strip the titles?
Vessey: The Misfits think they’re not subject to the rules. Well, they are. I’m not going to hand down a suspension, because the Misfits have contractual obligations to fill in defending their belts. I’ve had pressure to strip them of those belts, but that is not an option either, because teams that have been around for a while deserve better than having to start a tournament on equal footing with new teams. So this is the solution: In order to send a clear message that interference in other matches WILL be punished severely, and to keep the Misfits well aware that they must wrestle within the rules, from now on, the tag team belts *CAN* change hands on a disqualification.
Vessey: That is all. Misfits, Medusa, I hope we have come to an understanding now! Thanks for your time Mr. Dunbar.
Dunbar: Thank you Mr. President. Woah, that’s big!
Blade: Fans, speaking of the tag scene let’s move on to some comments from the Double Otanashis.
[Karumi and Kasumi Otanashi are working out. Kasumi notices the camera and comes over. Subtitles are used.]
[Kasumi] Good morning! We want to thank Burning Rain for giving us another chance at Tuesday Catfight. However we are very disappointed in the GDWA Tag Team Champions for interfering in our match. We feel very strongly we would have defeated Burning Rain had there not been interference in the match. We would like to again challenge Burning Rain so we may see who the better team really is.
[Kurumi notices her sister talking to the camera and rushes over, bumping her aside]
[Kurumi] Dammit! GDWA, we think you better get a reign on your *censored* tag team champions. We had that good for nothing Burning Rain beat and those creeps came in and ruined our show. We want Burning Rain one more time in a best 2 of 3 falls match… no time limit, no DQ, no countout. There must be a decisive winner. And we want some sort of no interference rule. We aren’t here to play nice-nice, we’re here to win championships and make money. We just want a fair shake. And if you can’t give it to us, we’ll make our own breaks.
[Kurumi goes back to her workout, Kasumi steps forward.]
[Kasumi] We’re having a very good time here in the US and want to thank all our fans…
[Kurumi] KASUMI! Get back to work!
[Kasumi] Yes… yes… okay! Buhbye!
[Kasumi waves to the camera cheerfully as it fades out]
Bishop: I’ll always wonder how they operate as a tag team with so much dissention.
Blade: Well, we have comments from Burning Rain who have the match of their careers Saturday Nite!! Let’s hear from them…
[Scene opens showing Fire Angel Maria holding a heavy punching bag as Gojira hammers vicious punch after vicious punch into it. As each punch slams home she mutters between clenched teeth
Misfits! Godiva! Dalbello! Medusa!
Then both turn toward the camera
Maria: As you can see…
Gojira: We’re just a LITTLE ticked off!
Maria: Double Otanashi
Gojira: Another great match.
Maria: Before the misfits ruined it!
Gojira: We know you want another shot at us.
Maria: And you’ll get it, specialty match rules
Gojira: Don’t be too disappointed
Maria: We all know Burning Rain was seconds from the win
Gojira: But Misfits! You stole our clean win!
Maria: You stole my chance to cut loose and party!
Both: YOU’RE GOING TO PAY!
Maria: But Burning Rain doesn’t accept cash.
Gojira: Burning Rain doesn’t accept checks.
Maria: Burning Rain does NOT accept American Express
Both: WE ONLY TAKE GOLD!
Gojira: Tag team titles, in fact.
Gojira: Saturday Night Special
Maria: Get ready for payback
Gojira: As the Misfits get seared to a crisp
Maria: By a sudden storm of…
Both: BURNING RAIN!
[Both raise their fists, taking on fighting stances as the scene fades.]
Dunbar: The action never stops here at the Grand Dragon. The shot of a lifetime on the Saturday Nite Special.
Blade: Speaking of shots, ‘Burning Cherry Blossom’ Rekka Sakura wanted a shot at the Western Heritage title not too long ago. Let’s hear what she has to say tonight…
[Open camera on a gray brick wall, there is nothing there but the wall, which itself is dirty and dusty. Suddenly, without warning the head of Rekka Sakura appears, hanging upside down and drenched in sweat. As the camera pulls away for a wider shot, the truth is revealed!! Rekka is doing suspended sit-ups, pulling herself up for each stomach crunch.]
Rekka Sakura: [sounds exhausted] 247… UUUUHHHHH!!!
Yukio: [walking around Rekka, examining her position on the bar she hangs from] You thought just because you beat Keiko Mita at Founder’s Day that I’d go easy on you didn’t you? [Smiles in disgust] You little fool, if Keiko had been 100% for that match she would have fried you like a chicken!! You thought that I’d ease up on you, didn’t you Rekka?
Rekka Sakura: 248… No Yukio-san, I knew that… 249… I knew that you’d work me even harder… 250… So I could be ready wrestle anyone, especially… 252…
Yukio: [curiously] Especially?
Rekka Sakura: 251… Especially Officer Order…. 252… My quest for the Western Heritage title is far from over… 253…
Yukio: [shoots up and punches Rekka in the back!!] DAMN RIGHT IT’S NOT!! YOU’VE BEEN SLOPPY REKKA!! SLOPPY AGAINST RADHI AND SLOPPIER AGAINST KEIKO!! YOU WON THAT MATCH ON A FLUKE, SURELY YOU KNOW THAT!! [Punches Rekka in the back again]
Rekka Sakura: [ignoring the pain of Yukio’s punches] 254… NO!! Keiko was… 255… Injured!! I won… 256… By a less than honorable means…257… [Rekka pulls herself up and grabs the bar with her hands, she then flips off the bar and lands on her feet, looking right at the camera] Keiko seems to have problems of her own right now and thus I will repay her for the shameful way I won my match with her… KEIKO LET ME TAG WITH YOU AGAINST THE SYNDICATE!! LET ME RECLAIM SOME HONOR AND REPAY MY DEBT TO YOU!! LET US BOTH STRIKE AT THE FOOLS IN SYNDICATE AND SHOW THEM THAT HONOR HAS A PLACE IN THE GDWA!!
Yukio: [punches Rekka in the back one more time] WHO TOLD YOU TO QUIT YOUR TRAINING? THAT’S 30 EXTRA LAPS IN THE POOL!!!
Rekka Sakura: [composed] Let me focus on helping an honorable warrior and then… I will meet Officer Order and show her why this ‘Burning Cherry Blossom’ is worthy of her respect!! WILDFIRE!!
[Fade out as Rekka Sakura springs back onto the hanging bar and returns to training]
Bishop: Wow!!!! She just challenged the Syndicate to a tag match?! Do you think Andrea and company will accept?
Dunbar: No telling what! Fans, we have saved this comment for last. Some words meant for the Hyena Queens coming from Medusa Rage.
Medusa Rage sits in her den, watching a replay of her match with Tiffany Chandler. Next to her sits a long, tall, broad-shouldered Black woman. She has angular features, extremely attractive and hair done in micro thin braids. She’s even taller than Medusa. She grips a basketball idly in one hand, weighing it thoughtfully as she watches the tape. Astute fans might recognize her as one of Medusa’s Serpentines.]
Woman: Girl, you made that look too easy. What was going on there? I expected a war.
Medusa: Against Tiffy? Naw, Marissa, we squashed that beef with the Syndicate.
Marissa: So I won’t get to see you breaking heads anymore? Too bad. I was looking forward to seeing more Syndicate-Rage wars.
Medusa: There’ll be more contests, but that’s exactly what they’ll be girl. Contests. I’m tired of all this gangbanging crap. These fools be acting like it’s election day in Jamaica.
[Marissa doubles over, snorting with laughter.]
Marissa: Girl, you so bad. Tell me, you gonna have me carry you like that at the beginning of every match? I know you like style and all, but damn. That’s a lot of weight on my shoulders.
Medusa: You sayin’ I’m getting heavy?
Marissa: I’m saying you always were a load with that chip on your shoulder. People seem glad to see you back, though. I can’t wait til you get to New York. Man, that place is going to go crazy. Madison square Gardens. Just don’t get all caught up trying to hook up with Oakley. I know you love that brute.
Medusa: (smiling lustily) Girl, you don’t know the half. New York, New York. Medusa, Madison Square Gardens, the Knicks. Awww damn, it’s good to be back and off that junk. And it looks like it’s time to reclaim my throne. The Matriarch is back in town.
Marissa: You certainly lead a fun life, girl. What’s next for you, though?
Medusa: Whatever I want, riss. Whatever I want. And you knows me. I want it all. Back on the East Coast. I can’t wait. I’m really happy being me sometimes.
Marissa: So, you been talking to Sierra and Indigo at all? Any news yet.
Medusa: (shrugging) We’ll see. I have a feeling you’ll like the news, though. It’s all coming together again. I love it when that happens. [She pauses and looks hard at Marissa.] And don’t go thinkin’ anything dirty.
Marissa: Girl, you know I know how nasty you can be.
[Fade out on the two laughing.]
Dunbar: Fans, that’s it for tonight! For all of us here on the Friday Night, I’m Paul Laurence Dunbar saying see ya at ringside!