GDWA Monday Night Tease 7-27-1997

Promos from The Syndicate, Bloody Mary, Sierra Browne, Lady Tiger and more.

(The scene is one of Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance studios located in Tacoma, Washington. Two men are sitting behind a desk. They are wearing a blue blazer with the GDWA logo on the right side. A woman sits between them with a red and brown suit jacket and skirt. The lights start to come up, and “Atomic Dog” by Parliament–the GDWA theme music–begins to play.)

Dunbar: Wrestling fans, I’m Paul Laurence Dunbar with Sam Mutt and Sonya Blade bringing you the Monday Night Tease. Tonight we discuss the World Title situation, the Ironwoman Square Dance Matches at the Fall Moonsault, and the Internet Championship in particular….

Blade: We have about 3 weeks left of ring action before summer break, and I can’t remember a more heated time of the year for the GDWA. Micki Duran with the big announcement that she’ll defend her title EVERY week til summer break…

Mutt: Oh Yeah! She’s the greatest Internet Champion of all Times! What did you expect?

Dunbar: Well, speaking of the INTERNET champion, ‘Legend’ Micki Duran! and the rest of the Syndicate had THIS to say….

The Syndicate

(The camera comes up on a lavish outdoor swimming pool, bordered by huge rosebushes, white marble tiles, and extravagant wicker furniture. The Kingpin is lounging in one chair, wearing a black swimsuit and sunglasses. “The Legend” Micki Duran leans on the edge of the pool in a white swimsuit, half in and half out of the water. “Brilliant” Tiffany Chandler is clad in a black bikini, seated in a chair with a laptop computer in her lap. Andrea Chandler, in her golden bikini, lies on a golden beach towel, catching rays. “Sexy” Sally McClane is reclining on a beach chair, running a comb through her wet hair. Crystal “The Crippler” Lewis sits on the edge of the pool with her feet in.)

Kingpin: I figured it’s about time I let these ladies take a rest, so we’re just chillin’ here at my summer home in N’awlins. See, we’ve all been so busy lately, we haven’t had time to just get together and kick back. But I thought that we’d be remiss if we didn’t address a couple of current situations.

Micki: That’s putting it mildly.

Kingpin: Well, you know, the Syndicate always has its hands in something. So let’s start from the top. Dementia Praecox, and President Vessey. I think Razor Tsuruta said it best when she said, “At least we smiled while screwing you.” The GDWA can’t enforce its own rules…we’ve seen it time and time again. Dementia, you lucked out girl…that’s TWICE now Micki’s beaten you. Two times.

Micki: She still hasn’t accepted my title vs. title match at the Moonsault yet. If she’s gonna be a punk bitch, she could at least have the decency to say “No, I don’t accept…I’m afraid of you.” I mean, damn, there are other people who want to fight me too, you know? She’s getting one more opportunity to show why I’ll always be better than her, and she keeps on ditching me. Some champion.

Kingpin: Oh, don’t you worry, honey. She’ll accept. But right now, you’ve got another challenge up ahead.

Micki: Sierra? Oh, my love, don’t even sweat it. Sierra’s good, but she’s biting off more than she can chew. She ought to concentrate on not dropping that belt to Tiff and quit worrying about me, or the Cruiserweight belt, which Keiko shoulda had in the first place. I mean, we came down to make sure of it, and look what happened. Poor Bloody Mary in the hospital. Don’t think that’s gonna get you out of my challenge. I’ll beat your ass in sickness or in health, and it’ll give you a nice excuse when I slap the piss out of you. Sierra, you can have your shot when you put the Cruiserweight belt on the line as well. It’s up to you. Otherwise, you wait at the end of the line.

Crystal: You look past Sierra, and she’s gonna kick your ass.

Micki: I’m not looking past her. Hell, I’ve got nothing else ahead of me, since Dementia is obviously going to duck me from now on, since I’ve beaten her twice and she’s never beaten me. (She shrugs.) It must suck to get beaten up so much.

Kingpin: Well, any one of you at this point could beat Dementia. We’ve got all four of our active members in the top six. What other stable can match that?

Andrea: None, by my count. You’ve got a bunch of pretenders and also-rans out there, but no one comes anywhere near our level of dominance. Love us or hate us…(she kisses at the camera)…we’re the best, and you all damn well know it.

Tiffany: No one can /touch/ the Syndicate. We will continue to dominate the GDWA and any other league we see fit.

Sally: Basically, King, honey. There’s no stable in the world pro-wrestling that can match the talent that The Syndicate brings forth. Not in men’s wrestling, women’s wrestling, or even midget wrestling. [laughs] I mean, we are _THE_ greatest thing going today. Wouldn’t you agree Andrea?

Micki: Hold up there, rookie…who said you could talk on this segment? (They all giggle, and Micki splashes water on Sally.)

Micki: Now I’m sure they’re all gonna say how Micki hates Sally. Micki hates Tiffany. Micki’s jealous of Andrea. People sure do like to speculate on my feelings about stuff. I feel so….popular. (She grins.)

Tiffany: Micki.. anytime you want to team up to teach those pretenders a lesson, you just let me know. We will be more than happy to take on any of those so-called tag teams out there. Hell.. give us the tag team champions, if they aren’t too petrified to accept our challenge.

Andrea: Isn’t it interesting when you’re the last to hear a rumor about yourself? I had no idea that Micki was so jealous of me! Let me see, a woman with more gold in her past than Fort Knox being envious of someone who only recently collected her first championship…get real! If anybody has the slightest shade of envy around here, it’s me. Micki’s the kind of wrestler I’ve always aspired to be, and she’s the reason I’ve risen to my current level. If I can provide motivation to her, then I’m flattered I’ve done so. But jealousy isn’t a part of our process, nor shall it ever be.

Sally: Oh, well Micki, you know it’s the price you pay for greatness. Everyone’s envious of the truly great. And…[she splashes water back on Micki]…I’m not a rookie. [she smiles]

Kingpin: Lest they forget that we ARE in this league for business, perhaps we ought to address some business-like subjects.

Crystal: Oh, you mean, talk some *censored*.

Kingpin: Well, yes.

Micki: No thanks. I can’t say anything else to Dementia that she doesn’t already know. If I were her, I’d never sleep alone again. I’d lock my door at night. I’d come to the ring with a fleet of bodyguards. One way or another, slut, that belt belongs to the Syndicate.

Andrea: So true. We’ve got four contenders here who are ready, willing, and able to take back what’s ours. And speaking of contenders, Lady Tiger…all too soon, we’ll find out just who should truly be ranked #1. I guarantee you, rookie, that it won’t be you when it’s all said and done. The GDWA has been hell-bent on insulting me from the outset, and that was just another means of doing so. I’m going to rectify their foolishness at YOUR expense.

Tiffany: I’m still waiting for that sissy girl, Sierra Brown to accept my challenge for Fall Moonsault. If I have to stalk her from now until then, I will. And then there’s Keiko Mita..

Crystal: What’s your deal with her anyway?

Tiffany: *grinning* A girl can’t reveal all her secrets. Let’s just say Keiko is on my list..

Sally: I talk business in board rooms, not by a pool. [smiles] And besides, Lady Tiger, and “Little” Jenny Grier have already felt what doing business with me is like, so what can I say? Kingpin: Well, looks like all my little ducklings are right in a row. The Syndicate is together and ready for action. Good for us. Bad for you. You thought we were bad before? (He beams a smile at Sally, who nods slowly, smiling.) You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Now piss off. I’m relaxin’ here.

(The camera fades to black as the Kingpin lights a huge Cuban cigar.)

Mutt: The Syndicate is riding high! I love it! You got all the pretenders but only ONE Legend.

Blade: We’ll see about that. Though I don’t agree or align myself with Sierra Browne, she has impressed me as of late.

Dunbar: Fans, if you recall, Sierra Browne earned a shot at the Internet Title with her successful Western Heritage title defenses. Now that she’s Internet Champion as well, she’s riding high. Here with comments are Sierra Browne and her NEW manager Dalbello Rage…

Sierra Browne

[Fade in: “Victory” by Puff Daddy pumps over the PA as the GDWA Cruiserweight championship is focused in the center of the screen. The camera pulls back to show Sierra Browne holding it out, sticking her tongue out at the screen and wiggling her head from side-to-side mockingly. Dalbello Rage stands next to her, arms crossed, the Great Western Heritage and the LEWA World tag-team title over both shoulders. She is dressed in a pantsuit, her scarf wrapped around her head. She smiles cockily. Sierra is dressed all in gold halter top, sunglasses and shorts.]

Sierra: I’m Keiko Mita, I fight for honor. You’re Sierra Browne, you fight for yourself. What does that get you?

Dalbello: Two championship belts and a guaranteed place in the history of the GDWA. And that’s my girl. She did it her way.

Sierra: (laughing scandalously) Did you hear them when you decked her? How could Dalbello do this to her fans? She sold out! Oh no! Lady D. could you tell them how it really is?

Dalbello: You people out there watch too much damn TV. Just because somebody retires doesn’t mean they’ve got to go out like some conquering hero. You folks haven’t been listening very well. I talked about wanting to beat people one-on-one in MY matches. You didn’t see anybody interfere in the Bassett match did you?

Sierra: Terry McMillen!

Dalbello: And it didn’t get her anywhere, did it? Lauryn ain’t just some dumb punk tag along like Crystal Lewis. She’s a good kid. But you see, I’m employing Syndicate logic.

Sierra: You went there.

Dalbello: I go anywhere I choose. Rationalization, justification and nothing but pure backstabbing bad behavior. What we got right here are the two baddest bitches on the block. GDWA, you won’t see me in the ring, that’s right. But you’ll damn sure see me at my girl’s side. Cause Sierra and I, we have a lot in common, that killer instinct. So it’s time we take this two man game on the road. Michael has his Scottie, well now I’ve got mine, too. Sierra Browne is the woman that wins gold around here. And to prove that she’s really the ish that she says she is. Micki Duran, Dementia Praecox, Sierra is challenging you all to double duty. Duran, she’ll go through you first. No big deal, she’s too tall and quick for you to slap the End on. Without that you’re not hard to figure out. Then she’ll go onto the challenge. Dementia, we’re coming after you too.

Don’t ever forget your challenge that a Rage representative would face you next week. That representative is Sierra. Squash your little triple threat challenges, we can do that when Sierra holds all the gold in one night. Just one stipulation, though. Everybody, me, Kingpin, the Syndicate, Hecate, all of us stay away from ringside or get tossed from the GDWA permanently. I don’t suffer from the Medusa syndrome. I’ve got everything on tight. What do you say? I’m willing to bet that my girl Sierra is the baddest wrestler the GDWA has right now. Hell, Andrea Chandler, flat out refused to wrestle her. Yes she did. She said she didn’t want her head taken off. Can you believe that? I can. The most ‘intimidating’ woman in the GDWA avoided Sierra Browne. That’s how bad this woman right here is.

Sierra: I played by the rules. I did everything I was supposed to. I was a good little girl. I played to the fans. Did it matter to those fickle bastards? No. They’d cheer or boo. I kept trying to win them over. Now I’m just trying to win. Think, you have a great natural athlete here and you fill her with the knowledge of Medusa and Dalbello Rage? I spell trouble, doux-doux darlins. Bad trouble. It’s duck season and you’re all fowl. Some people thought Radhi Ananda was bad. Some people thought Andrea Chandler was the stuff. Some people still are sleeping on me.

Dalbello: Two championship belts? They can’t even try to sleep on you anymore.

Sierra: And if you think I’m going to crawl into a defensive shell like say … Dementia. Or if I’m going to do everything but worry about my title reign … Mickster, babe, you’re wrong. See, Keiko Mita made a very inopportune statement. She said the world didn’t exist to feed my desires.

[The two wrestlers look at each other and laugh.]

Sierra: Then what’s it here for? This is my time to shine, baby girl. Just go get yourself a new wheel and be quiet. You know what I mean? Roll your little crippled ass out of the scene, because Mita, just like I told you. You may have got a fancy award, but it cost you your ass. So bring on your little Dragon Trio, bring on your wittle wady Tiger, can’t even show her face no more, literally. I don’t know why y’all thought that I was just some Medusa understudy. I’m the baddest woman on the planet.

Dalbello: Hm…mmmm.

Sierra: (smiling apologetically) I’m one of the two baddest women on the planet. Now it’s just time to prove it. Ta, baby girls. It’s gonna be fun beating you up. (Sierra blows a kiss) Is this too much? All eyes on me, baby. Cause if you don’t see Sierra then you need glasses. ‘m saying.

Dalbello: It’s a perfect thing. You really can’t understand.

[Fade out]

Dunbar: Question: With Browne and Duran butting heads with each other and with Dementia Praecox…what will come of all of this?

Mutt: First of all, rulebreakers by nature are like crabs in a barrel. It shouldn’t’ be surprising that they don’t get along. Plus, add to the equation that Praecox isn’t respected in the rulebreaker locker room and you have the potential for something REALLY Ugly.

Blade: And let’s look at the heat that on them to perform. Bloody Mary, Daisy Butterfly as well as a few other wrestlers who haven’t been too vocal as of late, they all want to wear that Internet Title.

Mutt: And let’s look at Sierra! Only Tiffany Chandler has hounded her about the WH title so much. Notice, no words from any former Western Heritage Champions or the fan favorites….are we agreeing this week Sonya?

Dunbar: Speaking of Bloody Mary, she’s got some words for both Micki Duran as well as Lady Tiger….

Bloody Mary

(Scene is at Wild West’s gym in rural Iowa, Bloody Mary, The Gladiatrixes, High Flying Dolls & their trainer, Anna Conda are all relaxing around the ring, posters of House of Rage stars hang prominently on the wall as well as pictures of Keiko Mita & The Syndicate being used as dart boards & faces cut out pasted on punching bags.)Bloody Mary holds a paper crumpling it & tossing it defiantly in a trash bag.

Bloody Mary: (a bandage is wrapped around her head) The last time you heard from me or my friends here we were all feeling pretty down. But we’ve been working out accepting challenges, getting back in fighting condition, thanks to our trainer(Anna nods), getting a few lumps (she points to her head) getting some help from some of our dear friends & some grief from our enemies who just keep coming & coming!

Bloody Mary: (sarcastic tone) Who are my friends you ask?? Weeeelll, I have to call The Glads & The Dolls my best friends, protégés, maybe, but that’s all & enough I guess. You see I can’t call them my wrestlers anymore. That piece of Kleenex I tossed was a memo from the GDWA threatening legal action if I didn’t stop managing or perceiving myself as the manager of The Glads or Dolls, blah, blah, blah. Well I stopped doing that a long time ago. I as a dear friend to these wonderful wrestlers only am interested in seeing their matches firsthand, offering any sage advice…from a friend. Protecting them from interference….as a friend. So threaten away GDWA & I’ll just keep watching the backs of my friends, no more & you can’t keep me from doing that!!

(The Glads & Dolls smile & snicker)

Bloody Mary: Now, speaking of friends & enemies a lot of sh*t has been going down recently. My dear friend, Sierra Brown asks me to help her out like I did her sis Medusa, watch her back, offer some advice…..no more. That lifted my spirits sooooo much since my loss to Lady Tiger, I was only too happy to help. Keiko, gets all p.o.’d. Man! For a ninja or whatever you have a hard time staying focused on a match! Then all your buddies from The Syndicate decide to come down & wail away on Dalbello & I. When did you hook up with them, Keiko?? You & Daisy adding vigilantes to your little police force, huh??

Bloody Mary: And you, Micki Duran! You finally challenged me? Well I accept. Finally another title shot. The doctors tell me to take off THREE WEEKS! I don’t think so, I feel fine right now! So Micki (hurling a dart at her picture) I’m first up on your hit list, What an honor!!! Well, I’m ready for you. I recovered from my last match with Lady Tiger….who probably has more class & talent in her little finger than you do in your entire family. That’s why she beat me, I underestimated her too much. But you, you classless little punk, I know you & your kind, we’re fairly alike, gawd I can’t believe I said that! But it’s true, we both fight to get what we want…Rules! Who needs stinkin’ Rules! (Imitating Sierra Madre movie). I’ll be there Micki, will you??

Lacey Gold: Don’t turn that camera off yet! Last week the GDWA thought for some reason they had to show our defeat to the Double Otanashi’s again! Why, I don’t know, but it’s harder & harder to play Miss Nice Guy around here, right Fury?

Fury: Right! And now Monika Franks & Allison Wren have challenged both us & The Glads. We accepted as well as Tawny & Rusla. Who will you face next card? We’ll be glad to step in the ring, either one of us. But don’t expect the same creampuffs that tried to wrestle Double O’s. The Dolls still fly but when it comes to wrestling we may be getting more down to earth. Ask our sparring partners.

Tawny: These bruises speak for themselves when it comes to getting in the ring with The Dolls. Allison, Monika, we’re just as ready for you as Lacey & Fury. Just sign on the dotted line. If not this match…..next.

Rusla: And that goes for any of you other teams, see you in the arena, tah, tah!

Blade: Mary is as determined as ever…but she doesn’t have to play protégées to Medusa Rage again. Wrestling injured with a concussion? That’s how Officer Order LOST the Western Heritage title…

Mutt: Duran is smart. And Mary…she’s big and strong. Anyway, I think that will be a great match!! And speaking of Lady Tiger, I bet she won’t be showing her face, pardon the pun, around here anymore (laughs!)

Dunbar: That’s not funny! We’ll hear from both Andrea Chandler and Lady Tiger a little later on tonight. Now fans, we’ve got more from GDWA superstars as it pertains to the Internet title. Let’s hear from a woman who has a vested interest in these upcoming title defenses….’the Franchise’ Daisy Butterfly.

Daisy Butterfly

SCENE: DAISY BUTTERFLY, standing in front of a GDWA banner)

Daisy: Duran, the suspense is killing me. Are you gonna give me the shot at Fall Moonsault or not? We both still need partners to swing, girl; and who better for the job than myself? Look at me, Micki. I will get on my knees here and ask AGAIN.

(Daisy gets on her knees)

Daisy: Micki…”Legend”…how about giving Daisy Butterfly a return match for your belt at the Fall Moonsault? We did have a classic match at Founder’s Day and you did turn up as the better woman that night. Why don’t you test your mettle against the one woman who can match you hold-for-hold here in the GDWA? I can go on all night, Micki, but I won’t. You know what I want. Sleep on it, girl.

Dunbar: We saw a tremendous matchup between Duran and Butterfly at the Founder’s Day Tradition. Daisy wants a rematch…

Blade: And she might get it sooner than she though. If Duran retains the belt, Daisy was offered a title shot PRIOR TO the Fall Moonsault!

Mutt: Daisy is old news. What has she done lately? What does she EVER do? Daisy is about as out dated as Lanny Manson.

Dunbar: Back to the World title situation, late breaking news! Negations went under way for a Triple Threat match! The Participants? Dementia Praecox, Officer Order and Sierra Browne…

Mutt: What?

Dunbar: With comments, here is Sierra Browne…

Mutt: HELL NO! What ABOUT DURAN? SHE DESERVES TO BE IN THAT TRIPLE THREAT! PUT ALL THE SINGLES CHAMPIONS….

Dunbar: Excuse me? I run this show Sam! Now, with comments, the Cruiserweight AND Western Heritage Champion, ‘Golden Girl’ Sierra Browne…

Sierra Browne

[Fade in: “Brown Girl in the Ring” trills over the scene as the camera shows shots of Sierra. The first is of her posing in a gold bikini, standing in the surf, back to the camera and arched as she twists her graceful neck to face the camera. The second flashes to her in a short gold minidress, imitating the Private Dancer album cover. The third is a head and shoulders shot. Sierra leans into the camera in a point. She appears naked. Then comes a shot of standing topless on a rock on the beach, arms crossed over her chest, standing on her tiptoes so the muscles of her calves and powerful thighs stand out in relief. The shot flips to a rear shot of the same pose. The camera runs through eleven more shots just like these. All provocative. All showing Sierra at her diva best in swimsuits, minidresses, miniskirts, evening gowns. Fade to Sierra and Dalbello Rage looking through a sixteen month Sierra calendar. Dalbello Rage wears a gold T-shirt with the slogan “Brown Girl: Never gets lost in the snow.” As she takes the calendar from Sierra she reveals the champion dressed in gold shorts and a cross-tie top made of the Great Western Heritage title and the Cruiserweight title. Sierra holds a “Browne” bear in the crook of her arm. The little stuffed bear has a skullcap of black pin curls and bright red lips. It wears a gold bra and shorts.]

Sierra: I love this stuff. See, the GDWA marketers are thinking. They’ve finally got a champion with flair and finesse and good looks and charm. And they’ve combined that with the killer instinct that the fans just eat up. I know y’all want a lick of my flavourite. I even have a T-shirt about it.

[Sierra holds up a shirt which reads “Browne: Chocolate Supreme.”]

Sierra: This stuff is all kind of cool, ain’t it? Now let me get right to the point, though. All this cool stuff. All these great calendars, bears and shirts don’t mean anything unless I do my job. And that’s wrestle. It seems some people have some problems with that. Eh, Keiko Mita. You don’t think I should be a champion, do you? Well, that’s all right. I don’t think you should be one, either. I’m the only one that’s right. There’s a lot on the table, right now. I see Dementia Praecox has wimped out of her title challenge like the coward that she is. Well listen Dementia, I’ll take you on and out at any time. You want to throw Officer Order into the mix? That’s just fine with me. Let’s see if the Lady cop will throw her name into the ring. I’ve already signed on the dotted line. But there’s one thing. The Cruiserweight title is off limits. I’ll put up the Cruiserweight title alone. That puts more pressure on you, Dementia. You just can’t sit back and let Officer Order try to pound me into the dirt for two titles. And you don’t have anything to bring me. Champ, you want to run and hide like some sorry bitch. Let’s see how well you do it. My bet is not at all. It was a good plan, though.

Me and my two belts will be right there in the ring. But I’m only risking one. Ha! You made a deal, Dementia. You said me and you for the shot. Well, I’m coming for my shot. Now what is that insane mind of yours going to do? Hmmm? You’ve got everything to lose again. Everything.

[Sierra smiles an evil smile.]

Sierra: And next week, Micki Duran, and I go head-to-head for the Internet title. Isn’t that going to be sweet? In two weeks’ time Sierra Browne could collect every title in the GDWA or lose them all. History in the making or history broken. Tell me that doesn’t sound sweet.

Dalbello: That does sound sweet, girl. But remember that you’ve got the most to lose. You won’t be in there with any friends. You won’t have any allies. I guarantee you that Officer Order wants her title back and she’d love nothing better than to smack you down and take them. You go down first and it’s all over for you.

Sierra: But that’s what makes me the champion that I am. I don’t back down from bad situations. My back against the wall with no allies and two people out there who want to kill me. I tell you, Lady D, Medusa never had it like this. Oh the glory when I pull this off. And then Micki Duran. Wow, that’s going to be something, isn’t it? People don’t understand just how bad I am. They don’t understand how competitive I am. Why else would I want the other two singles belts when I’ve already got two?

Dalbello: Because you’re taking it to the next level. That’s why. You know, I wonder if Officer Order is going to actually show up at this one. I wonder if she has the courage. She’s got nothing to lose, everything to gain, but does she have the stones? You just remember to protect yourself out there, kid.

Sierra: You just remember to get the hospital beds ready. Because to save my titles, I promise you, Lady D, I will kill somebody out there.

Dalbello: Extreme. But I like that. What’s the line they use for that guy? Homicidal. Suicidal. Genocidal? We’ll have to come up with something for you.

Sierra: Black. Bad. Beautiful. Say goodnight, ladies. Sierra Browne is leaving the building and there is no reason to watch any more.

Dalbello: Fade to black.

[Fade to black]

Dunbar: Sierra Browne is riding a high perhaps only Andrea Chandler can relate to. And with this momentum, can ANYONE defeat her?

Mutt: Well, let’s look at this. Praecox goes in as champ, and if she retains the belt she walks away as one of the greatest world champs of all time. She doesn’t HAVE TO defend this title and especially in this manner. Praecox wants the respect of the league badly!

Blade: I’m afraid to ask this question but…can Officer Order fine a way to defeat Sierra Browne? Browne has had her number on two separate occasions. Now Double O receives a World Title shot, the first since Andrea Chandler defeated her, and she must contend with a HUNGRY Sierra Browne and a maniacal Dementia Praecox.

Mutt: Hell! Order better be on her stuff. Browne is coveter of gold and Praecox is just plain nutty. I can’t wait! Browne wants revenge for that fireball Praecox threw at her as well. Remember that?

Dunbar: Well, Keiko Mita is a woman who’s been at war the moment she stepped foot in Grand Dragon. The C-title put up for grabs in that Triple Threat match must be a slap in the face. With comments regarding her Cruiserweight match up with Sierra Browne, here is Keiko Mita….

Keiko Mita

[Scene fades in showing Keiko Mita, still showing the effects from her battle at the Catfight, sitting on a director’s chair. She’s wearing a black t-shirt showing crossed silver katanas over the chest, and cut off jean shorts. Her left leg is resting elevated, an ace bandage holding an ice pack to her knee. On the wall behind her is a Japanese style painting of a battle scene, a lone katana wielding samurai facing many warriors.]

Keiko: Not much to say, is there, Sierra Browne. It could have been the match of the year. You said you wanted two refs. You said you wanted a one on one fight. And, naively, I agreed. I thought we had a lot in common, that we both wanted to prove we were best. Well, you lied to me, and to the fans. You brought down my old ‘friend’ Bloody Mary to make sure you won. You brought out Dalbello Rage to make sure you won.

Keiko: I was already hurt, my knee a mess, and you knew in your heart even then you could not beat me. So, instead someone who was leaving the GDWA took her final cheap shot before running, showing that even you supposedly going on your own from the Age of Rage was a lie. Just how long HAVE you been lying to us, Golden Girl? Enjoy your victory, Sierra. You have all you really care about. Not honor. Not cheers. Just gold.

[Keiko shifts on the chair a little, tensing, getting more and more angry as she talks.]

Keiko: What disgusts me about this loss even more than the others is that I expected better of you. I felt we had so much in common. Well, you fooled me once, that’s all you get. The next time we meet it will be even. No stupid stipulations that only benefit you. No GDWA’s all banned from ringside or face suspension. Dalbello is already gone from the GDWA, she’ll lose nothing popping in again to help you.

Keiko: From now on, things change. I’ve lost three matches in the GDWA. All have resulted from outside interference. I’ve had two world champions blind side me from outside the ring. This last match it seemed like half the GDWA was at ring side fighting it out. Syndicate, Bloody Mary, Dalbello Rage. This is the last time I face those odds alone. I’m going to finally take the time off my knee has needed, have that surgery I’ve needed for months now. When I next step into the ring, it will be at Fall Moonsault. When I next step into the ring, it will not be alone, but as part of the NEW Dragon Trio.

Keiko: We will meet again, Sierra. But THIS time the odds will be even.

[Keiko stares coldly into the camera, then raises three fingers before the scene fades]

Dunbar: Comments….

Mutt: Stop crying! Mita, YOU called the Syndicate out there to save your sorry hide, and what happens? You STILL get beat. Why? Cause your stupid! Plain and simple!

Blade: First of all, Mita is a woman of honor, something Browne is not. Mita would never resort to calling forth the Syndicate. Now, why the Syndicate was there I just don’t know.

Mutt: I do!

Browne: Well anyway, Mita will have her day…and she better watch her back. Bloody Mary and she didn’t seem to have lost any hatred toward one another.

Dunbar: Fans, as you all know Medusa was fined nearly 10,000 dollars and suspended for a month from ring action since interfering in the Duran/Praecox World Title match up. She’s been banned from the fed until she steps foot at the ICW Memorial Pay Per View in that 10 woman Survivor Series match up. With comments, here is the first part of a 2 part interview with Medusa….

Medusa Rage

[Fade in: A perky young Black women is framed head and shoulders in the shot. She’s got dusky brown skin and moist, doe eyes. Her hair is arranged in a shag cut and oiled to sheen. A scarf is tied around her throat.]

Woman: Hello, I’m Melanda Hartley, on assignment to the GDWA. I’m here in Halifax to bring you a very special interview with the inimitable, Medusa Rage.

[The camera pulls back into a two-shot. Medusa Rage sits next to her in a hothouse. Orchids bloom in all variety of colors around them. Medusa’s head is wrapped in a purple gele, the sides of her scalp slightly visible. They are shaved almost clean of hair. She wears a purple kente cloth wrap. Serpentine is coiled around her shoulders, lifting its nose to flick its tongue against Medusa’s lips. Medusa’s skin is a healthy brown. Her hazel eyes are bright.]

Melanda: I’m glad you consented to this interview, Medusa. I have a lot of questions for you.

Medusa: I suppose I can supply the answers. First shot to you.

Melanda: Medusa, what’s going on? Over the last few weeks you really seem to have lost it. Can you explain to the people out there why you violated all those rules and got suspended just to go after Dementia Praecox?

Medusa: (smiling) I don’t know if they’d understand. I really don’t. People think it was a title stunt or something. It was in no way that it was pure instinct. I was watching calmly from my dressing room and I saw her and it just all came flooding back, Melanda. I just got flooded with this powerful hatred and it all just came out.

Melanda: People have called you worse than an ‘island primate’, haven’t they? What was it about that particular word that set you off?

Medusa: People don’t understand their words then if they say that. And they sure as hell don’t understand me. Call me an island primate? You’re insulting my nation, you’re insulting me as a Black woman. Perhaps people think high-profile athletes and entertainers are immune to the taint of racial slurs. We are not. Slur me like that and you can hurt me. You will hurt me. There’s a line. A line that Dementia crossed. And I can say that there will never be any peace between the two of us until she apologizes for her insensitivity. Of course, she’s pretending to be insane so who knows. Maybe we’ll see an alternate personality come out that’s more fan friendly. You never know.

Melanda: So it wasn’t a stunt to get a title shot?

Medusa: (lifting Serpentine off the ground and draping her around her shoulders.) No, it wasn’t a stunt. It was a purely visceral reaction. I’ve had a hell of a lot on my mind. You can’t have as many interests as I do and harbor as many dreams. Something’s got to give. The hard work, the determination, the frustration. It all boiled over.

Melanda: You seem to be discussing your inability to win a title due to outside interference.

Medusa: Exactly right. How many times have I had a champion beaten and someone has ruined everything for me? That weighs on your mind. Especially when you watch someone you respect do it to you time and time again.

Melanda: Andrea Chandler?

Medusa: (nodding) Yes. The two of us get compared an awful lot to each other, but the difference is plain. She’s an intellectual wrestler. She plays the game of human chess. I haven’t divorced my emotions from the game as of yet. It’s not in me to be so cold. To me, if you can’t win on your own when it comes right down to it, then you lose. I have never walked out of a match. I have never had anybody try to carry me away. I have never had anybody distract a referee. Even in the infamous gang fight between Andrea Chandler and I. I was looking for a way out of the Dividend Deathlock when Dementia Praecox and Nikita Marx hit the ring. That was never part of my plan. I hadn’t wanted that. I hadn’t bargained for that. I brought my gang to make sure that the Syndicate was neutralized.

Melanda: But Andrea Chandler has made an effort to win all her matches on her own merit.

Medusa: True, but when she is not in the ring then she relaxes that code of honor. Andrea Chandler is a member of the Syndicate, a family. She is loyal to them first and above all. I appreciate that. I respect that. However, I’ve come to a point where I can no longer accept that.

Melanda: Meaning?

Medusa: Meaning I can’t think of Chandler as a friend. I can’t rely on her or the Syndicate as an ally. That was a mistake on my part. They are a family. I’m an outsider. I have a family. I will have to rely on that. They are more than enough.

Melanda: The GDWA has come down pretty hard on the Age of the Rage, though.

Medusa: I wish you wouldn’t use that term. I’ll have to curse Shadoe for ever dreaming up that catch phrase. It’s a slogan. Nothing more. You know, like the Age of Aquarius. The Rages are a family, not a stable. You know? They bawled and complained that when they faced one member of the Age of the Rage they were really facing six. I shake my head at that. Sierra used to come watch my matches and Dalbello was my manager. Two people. And Sierra never dared interfere in a match. She knew what would happen to her if she did. You never saw the Brown Girls, you never saw the Misfits. When Sierra wrestled it was just me and Sierra. That’s it. But I appreciate when you can beat anybody at any given time and see things, possibilities and angles that others can’t see, when you can envision in the squared circle everyone will try to find some reason why you beat them. They’ll complain about the simplest things. I don’t see how having a family with you is any different than bringing five strangers with you. You want to cut down on the amount of run-ins and violence, etc. Stop letting wrestlers come to the ring with more than one person.

Organized Crime and the Syndicate cause more havoc than anything the Rages have ever done. But that’s the game. They’ve set me the rules. Now I’m going to break them with the challenge.

Melanda: It sounds like you’re ready to take on the entire structure of the GDWA.

Medusa: I’m ready to stand up. One woman against the other twenty-five GDWA superstars. That’s what I’m ready to do. Anybody. Anywhere. Anyplace. I’ve been getting my head back together slowly, but surely every day. I’ve refocused. I’ve studied my past mistakes. That’s where success starts. It starts inside your mind. It starts with your vision. For a while my vision got blinded. All I could see was the Syndicate. Well, I’m looking at the bigger picture now. It’s time I saw everything again.

Melanda: Which leads us into perhaps the moment you can take the biggest spotlight on the stage. The Fall Moonsault’s Iron Woman challenge. In one night you get to take on Lady Tiger, Officer Order and Andrea Chandler. You might call it a shot at redemption.

Medusa: I might. But I have nothing to redeem to anyone. I am only going to do this for me. Because I haven’t had my head right in the game for some time. Now it’s time to get it screwed on properly and do what I do best. This night will just be to show that Medusa Rage is back in the game win lose or draw.

Melanda: But you have to be excited about the upcoming match with Andrea Chandler. That’s got to be big. This might settle the question once and for all.

Medusa: No it won’t. And I don’t want to get into that, either. This is just one match between us. Just one. All I’ve been asking for is an honorable match. She keeps her pack of jackals at bay and I face her alone. That’s the way Medusa is going to play it from now on.

Melanda: Does this mean an end to the dominance we’ve seen for so long?

Medusa: It certainly means an end to all the gang stuff. It certainly means you’ll never see me walking out with a gang at my back. I’ve been given a talent. I’ve been given a second chance on life. Shadoe’s been helping me see that. He knows exactly what I’m going through. Of all my brothers and sisters, I think he understands the most. I think he sees where my frustration comes from. Because we both worked hard and suffered a long time before we got our due. Shadoe had dreams of being a great singles wrestler, but he found his niche with the Prophets of Rage. He challenged me to find my niche in the game. I know what it is. I know where it is.

Melanda: Any hints?

Medusa: (smiling slyly) Oh, you’ll see some hints in the upcoming weeks. I promise you that. [She reaches out and plucks an orchid, smelling the heady bloom.] They’ve got the stink of human flesh.

Melanda: Pardon?

Medusa: Raymond Chandler wrote that about orchids in “The Big Sleep.” They have the stink of human flesh. See, something so beautiful is also ugly in its way. That could be said of me. I had the stink of humanity on me. I had all my fears, I had all my jealousies, I had all my pettiness with me in the ring. It spoiled the vision. But I’m cleansing it now. I’m getting my sight back.

Dunbar: Medusa has been doing some soul searching…

Mutt: Just her quarterly nervous breakdown. She’ll be back meaner than ever. Don’t believe the noise.

Blade: I’m inclined to disagree. Medusa sound like she’s reached an impasse. She ready to change….

Mutt: Yeah, right…moving on?

Dunbar: Medusa’s historical nemesis has been Andrea Chandler. Andrea did the unthinkable prior to an all-out brawl that went back to the locker room…she stole the mask of Lady Tiger in an all-out scheme. I didn’t even think Andrea was THAT low. With comments, here is the FORMER World champ….Andrea Chandler.

Andrea Chandler

(Andrea Chandler stands within her study, surrounded by mahogany paneling, surrealist paintings, and a mix of Louise XIV and French Provencal furniture. The camera closes in on her as she thumbs through the pages of a leather-bound volume, and stops about midway. Smiling, she focuses on a passage and begins to read.)

Andrea: Tiger, tiger, burning bright in the forests of the night, what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?

(She closes the book and shelves it, then turns to the camera.)

Andrea: Clearly, MY immortal hand framed the fearful symmetry of Lady Tiger, as everyone saw on our last program. Make no mistake, she showed ample spirit, but inevitably, was just another casualty of the Diamond Express. There can be absolutely no question now as to whom is truly the top contender for the belt I NEVER should have lost to begin with. But this match wasn’t merely a victory…it was a STATEMENT. And how does one make a statement? Well, it helps to take something dear to your opponent, and in this case…(she reaches behind her, and brings up the mask, twirling it around a finger by an eyehole)…I’d say this qualifies, wouldn’t you? Miss Tiger, you would be well advised to take this lesson to heart. You absolutely do NOT want to face me in the Ironwoman tournament, and I would consider you wise indeed if you chose to forfeit your encounter against me.

The alternative is another defeat at my hands, and who knows? This time, it was only your mask. Next time…I may have to focus on your dear teacher, Charlotte. It’s been too long since I’ve had an opportunity to lay her out, and I may look for such an opening. So Miss Tiger, take a long, hard look at yourself, and figure out your priorities. If survival isn’t high on the list, then by all means, let us dance once more.

(Andrea sets the mask aside.)

Andrea: Now for another matter that requires my attention. As I mentioned, the Ironwoman tournament is rapidly approaching, and in addition to Miss Tiger, I’ll be facing the peacekeeper of Grand Dragon, Officer Order, and the ever-dangerous Medusa Rage. Officer Order and I don’t exactly like one another for obvious reasons, and my mistreatment of Lady Tiger will no doubt not sit well with her. Yet despite all this, I have a keen respect for her, given her recent success and her determination. Our personalities may not be compatible, but I can’t deny her talent. Our match should be a tightly-contested encounter, to be sure, and I anticipate it greatly. And of course, there will be the inevitable confrontation with the mighty Medusa Rage, whom I not only acknowledge as my equal in stature, but also as my friend. She and I have had some classic battles, and certainly our bout at the Ironwoman will be no different. Medusa, I know we’ve spoken about this in the past, but I’d like to reiterate: you need not fear Syndicate involvement in our match. I want you only to bring your best game, as I shall bring mine, and we’ll see where the chips fall. And afterwards, the loser shall congratulate the winner in a fashion befitting greats like ourselves. May the best wrestler win.

(Andrea crosses her arms, and smiles.)

Andrea: Finally, we have our very first bi-titled champion! It’s such a shame that the honor fell to the likes of Sierra Browne. Yes, Medusa, I know how fond you are of her, but I would be lying if I claimed to have any respect for her and what she’s done. At least you stand on your own two feet. But for all her whooshing and doux-douxing and desperate pleas for fan support, we saw what she was truly made of in the cruiserweight final. Simply put, a hobbled Keiko Mita kicked her Dominican ass from pillar to post, and had it not been for a little timely intervention on the part of Miss Perfect, she’d’ve lost.

Well, Sierra, as happy — and deluded — as you may be at this moment, bear one thing in mind: it’s one thing to gain a title, quite another to keep it. And with Dalbello absent, and Medusa unable to contribute, you’ll find out just what you’re made of. It’s taken help from your friends on two occasions now to elevate you to champion status, but you must realize that when you step into the ring with Micki Duran, that it won’t be there for you. My advice: keep your feet on the ground, dear, or your fall will be meteoric. Incidentally, Medusa, I do hope Sierra doesn’t show up on your “Who’s hot” list. It would be a vain attempt to legitimize what everyone must view as a farcical episode.

Anyway, that’s all from Chez Chandler for this time. (She winks.) Au revoir!

Dunbar: Fans, Allen Bishop has joined us…

Bishop: How dare she! She speaks of Sportsmanship? She contradicts herself at every word. She humiliates Lady Tiger, yet in the next breath berates Sierra Browne for cheating! My lord…

Mutt: You’re absolutely right! Only GOD could have saved Lady Tiger. And she better not show her punk but at the Fall Moonsault either.

Dunbar: Speaking of Lady Tiger, let’s hear from the Frenchwoman. She’s rather…pensive as of late…

Lady Tiger

[The scene opens up inside a small, dimly lit room. The only accessories of note are a pair of chairs, and a VCR/TV in the back. Charlotte is standing by the door, looking back at Lady Tiger; slumped over with her hands covering her face.]

Charlotte: You OK to do this, girl?

Tiger: Oui oui. Just leave us be.

(Charlotte nods, seems hesitant at first, then leaves the room)

Tiger: Andrea Chandler. Andrea, Andrea, Andrea. You must be on top of the world, ma Cherie. Not only do you get your #1 ranking back, but you also steal my tiger mask. I would think, for someone so rich, that stealing would be beyond you, Cherie. But, I realize, few things are beyond Andrea.

(Lady Tiger turns to face the camera. Instead of her usual, colorful mask, there is only an orange and black striped mask)

Tiger: Was it a satisfying win, Andrea? Was I everything you expected? I am not out here to cry over a loss. You defeated me fair and square, Andrea, and I can accept that. I was down and out, looking up at the lights, and you got the 1-2-3. But could you do it again tomorrow, Andrea? Could you do it next week? Are you 100% certain that you would get the same result, each and every time you stepped into the ring with Lady Tiger? Or is there a nagging doubt? Would you welcome another match against Lady Tiger, confident that you will achieve victory? Or would you postpone, offer excuses, dodge a rematch? We’ll soon find out.

(Tiger rises to her feet, advancing on the camera)

Tiger: I want one more shot, Andrea, before the Ironwoman rolls around. Another chance to even the score. You say you strike fear into the hearts of all the faces?? Well, here is one good girl who is not afraid!! Do I think I can defeat you?? No. I *KNOW* I can defeat you!! Next week, Chandler. One more time. No special frills. Nothing up for grabs. Just one more shot. If you are so certain you I am not a threat to your #1 ranking, then there is no harm in accepting my challenge. If you do not accept . . . well, there is only so far you can run until the tiger finally pounces. You can run from me for a few weeks; maybe even a month! But when we get to the Ironwoman, I *will* extract my revenge!! This mask is only temporary, Cherie. I *will* be getting the original back soon, and THAT is a promise!

(Tiger sits back down, in an effort to calm herself)

Tiger: Perhaps I’ll switch to a happier topic. Bloody Mary, we rarely see eye to eye on any of the issues in Grand Dragon, but I will give you credit. You were a tremendous opponent, and a pleasure to wrestle, ma Cherie. Peut-etre, un jour, we’ll see Mary vs. Tiger part 2. For now, I have too many other things on my mind. But, you have earned this Tiger’s respect, Mary, and I wish you the best of luck in your match against Micki Duran this week.

 (Tiger’s happy look quickly turns to one of disdain)

Tiger: Need I be reminded, of the one person who began this mess? Sally, I have not forgotten about you. Not for ONE MOMENT, have I forgotten about you!!! You did not have the courage to tackle this tiger one-on-one. Not surprisingly, 4-on-1 seems to be more up your alley. But, mark my words, Sexy One, your days are numbered!! If I have to go through the entire Syndicate to get to you, Sally, I shall! If it means dethroning the mighty Andrea Chandler, then dethrone her I shall!! If it means taking the title from Micki Duran, then take it I shall!! Bloody Mary loses to me, so *she* gets the title shot?? I’m still trying to puzzle that one out, Micki. Perhaps you could help me in understanding?

(Tiger emits a slight chuckle, and shakes her head)

Tiger: Syndicate, you can thank Sally for catching my undivided attention. Sally, here’s a challenge for you. I want you, one-on-one, on the first card following the Fall Moonsault. You have managed to avoid be for long enough, but like your friends, there is only so long you can run. Andrea, Cherie, I will see you soon. Bring the mask, SVP, because I plan on collecting.

[Fade to Black]

Mutt: You ever notice how the Fan Favorites are ALWAYS cryin’? I mean really. Tiger don’t want none of Chandler…either one of them. (Laughing.) Stick to wrestling the Nomads and the Vonya’s of this sport…

Bishop: First of all, she’s STILL in the Big 5th of contention and is STILL the number 2 contender…that has to amount to…

Mutt: Not a damn thing! Tiger sucks! Remember that from Dawg Pound Nights? It rang all over the arena. Andrea just had to PROVE It!

Dunbar: Andrea didn’t leave ringside unscathed. After Charlotte La Mancha was assaulted, Rekka Sakura came racing down to ringside to save her. Here is the ‘Burning Cherry Blossom’ Rekka Sakura with comments…

Rekka Sakura

[Open camera on the locker room backstage at Cat Fight. Here stands Rekka Sakura, sweaty and bruised following her brutal beating at the hands of the syndicate]

Rekka Sakura: [seriously] See these bruises? See my face? Do I look amused, Syndicate? Do I look like enjoyed what happened here tonight? I try to come to the aid of a wrestler being attacked to do the honorable thing, and what happens? [Looks to the floor in disgust] I learn that words such as honor and respect have no meaning to ones such as Andrea Chandler and Micki Duran. Well I have a message to both of them, to those two queens of scum and villainy… HONOR MEANS A LOT TO ME!! [Eyes glaring as she takes a deep breath] Honor, respect, integrity, these are not empty words to be tossed aside and be tread on lightly!! You think I did not watch tonight and weep for this sport as The Syndicate tried to destroy everything that both Rekka Sakura and Grand Dragon stand for? I watched as swindlers and yakuza bandits robbed my kindred spirit Keiko Mita of a title that was rightfully hers!! [Turns her back to the camera with her hands on her hips] Too long have I sat back and done nothing… [Turns to face the camera with fire in her eyes, raging like an inferno] THAT ENDS NOW!!

THE TIME FOR TALK IS OVER AND THE TIME FOR ACTION RIFE… I take my hand and put it out to Radhi Ananda. There was a time when a more stubborn and proud Rekka Sakura would not do such a thing, when Rekka Sakura would have fought on her own and shunned help… THAT REKKA SAKURA IS DEAD!! I put forth a challenge for Andrea Chandler and Micki Duran… A tag match, bring yourselves and I will bring a partner… RADHI BE MY PARTNER!! PUT ASIDE THE DISLIKE AND OUR HISTORY TOGETHER… let us extract that which we crave… REVENGE!! [Fade out as Rekka Sakura tosses the microphone down and storms out of the locker room]

Mutt: Now I’ve heard EVERYTHING! Rekka Sakura and Radhi Ananda allies? It’ll never happen.

Bishop: If it does, it’ll be great for the league. Andrea, Micki and the rest of the Syndicate have to PAY for what they’ve done…

Mutt: Why? They are THE premier stable in Grand Dragon. They don’t have to do a DAMN thing.

Dunbar: Speaking of Radhi Ananda, she had a grueling contest against rookie newcomer Yukon Jane. With comments, here is the 8th Wonder of the GDWA…

Radhi Ananda

(SCENE: “JUNGLE” RADHI ANANDA, wearing her tiger-print wrestling gear as she wades in a small, tranquil pond surrounded by overgrown bushes and untamed nature. Her hair, while wet, is still mottled and uncontrollable; eyes constantly burning with ferocity…)

Radhi: Yukon Jane, wrath has never been something for one to trifle with. Remember that, as you sit by the bedside of Ranger Robin for the next month. Remember that as you watch the replays, witnessing again and again as your own match recoiled and bit you like a cobra, even with the odds presumably in your favor. Remember that as the cold sweat forms on your brow, fleeting thoughts of what could have happened if only the final stipulation was carried through and you were left, handcuffed and broken, a sack of rancid meat quivering within MY ring as you were thrown from the Jungle, just another victim of the Black Mother’s passion. Remember it all, and move on; coldly staring at your toes should I pass, for fear of seeing the burning rage within the eyes of the Eighth Wonder once again cause your downfall. The Black Mother knows that she has been restored to her glory. We’ve got nothing more to prove to you, and nothing more to do to you.

Radhi: Know this, Andrea Chandler. This between the Jungle and the Syndicate are not over. You walk an ugly line, svairini. Due, in time, to be cut by the Eighth Wonder and force your plummet. You DARE steal the mask of the Great Tiger? As it is said in the West; what goes around, comes around. You shall have your heart ripped and stolen from your chest, still beating, for the atrocities you commit. Scream bloody murder, Chandler…that’s the call I recognize…

Mutt: Yeah, so what! We’ve heard it all before! I don’t give a damn. Andrea Chandler damn near put you out of wrestling. Is she scared of you now?

Bishop: You act like Andrea can’t be defeated….

Mutt: Who has EVER beaten her cleanly? Hell, bring Daisy, Order and Jungle in the same ring on the same night and she’ll beat them in alphabetical order!

Dunbar: Back to Radhi Ananda, she wrestled a hell of a match with Jane. Yukon Jane choosing a poor partner in Ranger Robin…

Mutt: You put Jane under the tutelage of Dementia Praecox, Kingpin, or even Tony Angelo and she’s a force to be reckoned with!

Bishop: She’s a force to be reckoned with now…and I don’t think she and Ma Porter see eye to eye at all…

Big Ma Porter

Well, yes I lost in the match against Jungle woman, but I put up on hell of a fight. You were saying how my words weren’t scaring you, well I’ve always believed that actions speak louder than words and my actions were loud and clear. I kicked your sorry excuse for an ass that whole match, you just got lucky.

Now you, Ma Porter. You say I am minor league. Well this minor leaguer is rated three positions higher than you. What do you have to say about that? You ‘claim’ you’re the best big woman in GDWA, but yet are too much of a coward to take all the big women on. I come in and SAY that I am the best big woman in GDWA and immediately challenge you, the woman who I THOUGHT was the best. But you can’t be if you’re too much of a chicken to defend it against someone like me. You say you’re going to fight another big woman at the upcoming ppv, Fall Moonsault, to determine the best big woman. How can you have a match to determine the best big woman and not have me in it? I challenge you to either let me in that match, making it a three way match, or to have a round robin between you, me and that other fat woman. If you have any guts at all, prove it by taking me on.

Bishop: Not a happy woman…

Mutt: She’s focused! And she wants respect around here. As far as I’m concerned Ma Porter has a problem on her hands…

Dunbar: Stranger things have happened in Grand Dragon. Fans, back to the Fall Moonsault, we’ve got a special editorial on Officer Order this week…

Eyes & Ears on the GDWA editorials by Robert West & Ms. Ressler

As the season winds down for a while & we await Fall Moonsault a controversy still rages on at GDWA. That being the seeming gang mentality that often occurs ending matches in a Pier 6 brawl, cheating wrestlers of deserved or prospective wins, robbing them of their chance at rising in the GDWA rankings or gaining title contention, whether they be faces or heels.

These brawls occur as a result of ring interference whether by partners of the wrestler(s) or by “friends” of the wrestler(s). Often times this interference is we’re led to believe justified because the other wrestler was cheating or whatever. Mostly we believe this interference is simply an excuse for vengeance & for the offending parties personal gain, either for their thirst for vengeance or more likely title contention, rankings or to ruin their “friends” chances for titles or title contention. With friends like this who needs enemies? But the GDWA seems to be full of these strange bedfellows.

Not always are these interference’s welcome & the result is a wrestler is cheated out of her possible rightful victory or the chance at victory. And of course the fan is cheated out of seeing the match he or she paid good money to see. Some relish the spectacle of a brawl whether it involves simple double teaming with 2 or a brawl with 2, 4, or twenty or more wrestlers & pandemonium ensues. Most of the wrestlers & fans abhor this spectacle more & more since it has become so commonplace. After pleas to stop this mindless violence one brave soul has become the vanguard in restoring order to the GDWA.

She is Officer May Order or Double O as she is often referred. We couldn’t write an editorial on this subject without including Double O’s contributions to this effort.

 Since recovering from blindness inflicted on her in a match with the late Sachie Yokoyama, Officer Order has led a crusade the last several months to restore civility & sportsmanship to the GDWA. Whether fighting gangs & crime during the day as a San Francisco Police Officer or fighting for law & order with Martial Law in the pro wrestling ranks at night Officer Order is relentless in her crusade. In the GDWA her main detractors are Organized Crime & The Syndicate, a constant feud. That feud recently heated up with an alleged bribe made by Micki Duran. Officer Order in a dramatic gesture on Tease tossed the dirty money in a trash can. Despite Officer Order being a main attraction & leader in sales of her merchandise she is hardly the richest woman in wrestling & while we don’t blame her for not wanting any part of that money we hope she had the better sense after the camera faded to at least turn the money over to GDWA officials or even better had the last laugh on The Syndicate & give it to charity, perhaps a Police Benevolent Society?

Her crusade doesn’t stop at so-called wrestling families & stables but individual bent on disrupting matches. Without a doubt though the main offenders are the ones with partners, handlers, managers, entourages that insist on involving themselves in a match for whatever reason they have. Certainly it’s not for the benefit of the fans or their fellow wrestlers which Double O has took it upon herself & a few of her supporters to look out for.

Double O’s main supporters have been of late Daisy Butterfly & Lady Tiger. She has also received support from many of the rookies like Brimstone who worry for their future in the GDWA. Even some of the offenders have tired of this gang-like practices & joined in her efforts. Most notably Medusa Rage & some member s of Age of Rage. Medusa, who had a great scientific rules match with her recently seems at a crossroads in this controversy.

Sierra Browne, sat down to a civil interview back in May & rationally asked Double O about their rough match, the interview went amicably. Wild West Management who have tried to stay independent especially with Bloody Mary’s ring philosophy of no interference has no doubt made an impression although they have never publicly acknowledged support for Double O. Despite these “heels” dubious support or refusal to participate in these spectacles we would urge Double O to not turn her back on any of them for her own good. While most applaud her efforts she does have her detractors, most notably Organized Crime & The Syndicate. But also some fans, wrestling pundits & even some officials who think her & her army are no better than any of the other stables, exacting vigilante justice under the facade of wearing a white hat in this shoot-out controversy, seeming the innocent. Is she justified to come to the aid of those needing it or is she herself self-serving? With what we’ve seen in the past several months we would say she is justified! So far her actions have brought little in the way of gaining her headway in the rankings of the GDWA. She did that on her own! Officer Order’s record stands alone in her distinction as a wrestler. A 2 time Western Heritage Title Holder, a 2 time Lanny Manson Award Winner, a leader in merchandise sales, a role model for wrestlers & fans alike are but a few of her accomplishments. One could not deny she’s a good friend to those in & out of the ring. Whether you love her as most do or hate her as a few do everyone seems to admire & respect her & her efforts. We would say it is best to stay on the right side of the police tape with Officer May Order & support her in her efforts to maintain sportsmanship to the sport of pro wrestling.

Bishop: Great editorial….

Mutt: Too bad it is time for Order to retire her tights. Who the hell does she think she is? Double O is a double zero!

Bishop: Yeah, well…

Dunbar: Do I need to separate you two? Moving on! The Suicide Blondes earned a win over the WORLD Tag Teams champions last Tuesday Night. The champs have comments on the matter, but let’s listen in on the Suicide Blondes first!

Suicide Blondes

(SCENE: Inside CLUB BROOKLYN, the West coast ORGANIZED CRIME franchise. Seated in a distant corner booth are the SUICIDE BLONDES. Both women are dressed identical in form-fitting pinstripe suits and fedoras…)

Taylor Monroe: Let’s call it the Misfits Syndrome, Hyena Queens. The inability to win the belt through pinfall and the subsequent lack of pinfall victories over worthy opponents.

Baby Jane Ross: Queens…what did we expect? We had you two girls outwrestled and outsmarted. Of course you’d take the low road; it seems to be the mark of a champion in this federation. Run while you can, girls, ’cause the Gun Molls of the GDWA are hot on your trails, itchy trigger-fingers and all…

Taylor Monroe: Sweetie, just what do we think of the Queens this fine day?

Baby Jane Ross: Girl, I don’t even think enough of those two faux Muslim hussies to leave ’em lying dead on the steps of the Versace mansion…

Taylor Monroe: That’s a joke, right dear? I mean, the Hyena Queens couldn’t get within a mile of Versace mansion without being picked up by the fashion police.

Baby Jane: And, as number one contenders, when do we get our next shot at the titles? Seeing how at Fall Moonsault, it’s either gonna be the slumps…

Taylor Monroe: Brown Girls.

Baby Jane Ross: …or the chumps…

Taylor Monroe: Frank & Wren.

Baby Jane Ross: …that get the nod. I swear, tell me how this happens. We STEAMROLL over the competition here, and end up getting rolled by the championship committee!

Taylor Monroe: Figuratively, of course. Literally, the only thing rolling in the tag team division is Gojira Takeshma…rolling straight up to the buffet, again…

Dunbar: Now, let’s listen to the champs….

Hyena Queens

(The scene is Gold’s Gym in Chicago, Illinois. The World Tag Team Champions the Hyena Queens are jogging around an indoor track as Mike Whalen walks onto the track. Both are wearing jumpsuits and sports bras as Mike Whalen takes a few sneak peaks.)

Mike Whalen: Hi Terry, Angela….I was wondering….

‘Powerbomb’ Angela: First of all, watch your eyes buddy! My name ain’t Andrea Chandler. I don’t put out that easily.

Whalen: Woah! I….

‘Technician’ Terry: What do you want Whalen. Get to the point!

Whalen: Well, you incurred your first loss in Grand Dragon Tuesday night. How do you feel about this?

(Big Angela Bassett takes a swig of Alhambra bottled water as she tosses the empty bottle at the camera.)

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: What kind of question is that? I’m glad Dalbello Rage is out of my and Angela’s life! That’s number one. And as far as those clowns the Suicide Blondes go, Angela can take over.

‘Powerbomb’ Angela: (whispering) Big fat ass Ma Porter stuck her nose where it didn’t belong. That’s why we had to sit the Blondes down with a steel chair. You see, we don’t play around with that Outside Interfering shit. If Porker and her Cabbage Patch Kids want some of the African Dawgs, all they gotta do is ask.

Whalen: It would appear you had lost control of the match. Weren’t you about to lose the belts?

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: *WE* are the World Tag Team Champions! We have the privilege to do whoop ass the way we see fit! And considering we had the entire OC outside of the ring, we had to take drastic measures. If the Blondes want to wrestle in a 6 woman tag, just let us know…we already have a partner in mind.

‘Powerbomb’ Angela: So if you want to get in the ring one more time for a World title match…bring that little Monkey Nikita with you! Or bring Porky and Bugs or whatever other clowns you got hanging around your locker room. As far as Dalbello goes, that’s over and done with. Ancient history. Now take your sorry ass to Japan and stay there.

‘Technician’ Terry McMillen: Organized Crime, you are already old news. Now, Burning Rain, at the Fall Moonsault we gonna deport your ass back to the land of Godzilla and Toyotas. Because the bottom line is this: Take on the best and get jobbed like the rest! End of story.

(Scene fades to black as Angela and Terry return to training.)

Dunbar: Not as sarcastic as they have been in prior weeks.

Mutt: That’s because they are champs now. They are being hunted like they never have in their careers. Tuesday Night brought that reality to their attention.

Bishop: The Fall Moonsault will be a HELL of a wakeup call for them. And considering how controversial their last match was, the Moonsault will be quite interesting.

Dunbar: Controversy abounds in the GDWA. With the Ironwoman match up at the Fall Moonsault, this has got to make things interesting. With special commentary regarding the Ironwoman Square Dance tournament, here is GDWA reporter Owen Crane…

Lady Tiger was once referred to by “Sexy” Sally McClane as “Lady Luck”. To get through this night, she’s going to need it. Tiger will be joining former GDWA World Champion Andrea Chandler, 2-time Western Heritage Champion Officer Order, and the leader of the Age of Rage, Medusa Rage, in the 1997 Ironwoman Tournament. It all takes place live on GDWA PPV, September 1st, 1997.

 Officer Order topped the voting by gaining an unprecedented 4 votes. Andrea came in a close second with 3 votes, and Medusa and Tiger picked up the rear with 2 votes; edging out some top stars such as Bloody Mary, Keiko Mita and Ma Porter.

 For those of you unfamiliar with how the tournament is conducted, here are the rules. Each of the combatants will be wrestling three matches that night; one against each of the other combatants. The 4 athletes will wrestle a total of 6 matches between them; each bout with a 15 minute time limit. Wrestlers are given 20 points for a pinfall or submission win, 15 Points for a count-out win, and 5 points for a draw. At the end of the night, the woman with the most points will be declared the winner, and the GDWA 1997 Ironwoman.

 Last Year’s Ironwoman winner, “The Franchise” Daisy Butterfly, beat out Big Ma Porter, “Fear Factory” Lanny Manson, and Zaranna to become the inaugural Ironwoman by earning 35 “points”. Ma Porter was a close second with 30 points, followed by Manson with 25 points. Zaranna came dead last with 5 points, drawing Ma Porter, although some would say her schedule was the most difficult of the four combatants. Interesting to note is that *none* of these four competitors are involved in this year’s tournament. Zaranna and Manson have since left the GDWA, Daisy was not allowed entrance into the tourney because of her win last year, and Porter didn’t garner enough votes to gain admittance.

 Daisy earned her points with a submission victory over Lanny Manson and a count-out win over Zaranna. Her match at the hands of Ma Porter resulted in a loss. Porter, meanwhile, went through the tournament without a loss; defeating Daisy and drawing both Manson and Zaranna. It just goes to show that the emphasis in these matches is on winning; over “not losing”. Manson defeated Zaranna in the other contest.

 So just how important is this tournament? Well, Daisy, as previously mentioned, did win the tournament last year. But, as of press time, she has yet to have a taste of GDWA gold. The title of Ironwoman, however, can be thought of as a “championship” in itself. Daisy earned herself unprecedented accolades and, yes, was granted numerous title shots as well. And, as everyone in GDWA knows, she has been a perennial top 5 star as well.

 So, just how do the combatants match up? Well, the favorite going into the tournament would have to be Andrea Chandler. Her World Championship reign and 1996 GDWA Wrestler of the Year award almost makes her the woman to beat. Add to that an incredible win streak; and the fact that she’s reached 10 wins faster than any other wrestler in GDWA history, has Andrea confident as the tournament approaches.

 “At first, I wasn’t entirely certain what to make of the Iron Woman tournament,” said Andrea. “Marathon events like this aren’t normally my bag. But, the more I thought about it, the more the opportunity to be crowned the new Iron Woman of the GDWA intrigued me.

The strategic opportunities are fascinating, and as the matches are of shorter than usual duration, I’ll be free to open up my offense even more. And I always relish an excuse to dish out the punishment!”

 Perhaps the second favorite person to walk away with the Ironwoman status is possibly the most popular star in GDWA history, Officer Order. True, she enters the tournament as being the lightest of the four competitors. However, she has far more GDWA experience than anyone else entered, which could play a very important role. Officer Order is determined to bring some “Law and Order” to the tournament, and match the feat of her friend Daisy from last year’s tournament.

 Not surprisingly, due to her hectic schedule as a police officer *and* GDWA combatant, Officer Order could not be reached for comment.

 While this reporter placed Medusa Rage third amongst possible winners, many people have her pegged to win it all! While Rage has yet to taste GDWA gold, she has racked up an incredible win-loss record; perhaps rivaled only by Andrea! As well, she has dominated in title matches against Dementia Praecox and Micki Duran, and GDWA insiders say it’s only a matter of time before we see some gold around the waist of Medusa Rage. A win at the Ironwoman would crush the misconception of her being the “second-best” heel in the GDWA, and grant her an onslaught of title opportunities.

 “This tournament, to me, is about one thing. Respect. I don’t care about wearing an Ironwoman title. What does that mean? No, for me, the only reason I want to be in this is I finally get the chance to prove one-on-one that I’m better than Andrea Chandler. I know it. She knows it. The GDWA knows it.”

 Rounding out the combatants is the daredevil of the GDWA, Lady Tiger. Tiger enters the tournament as the underdog. She has the least experience of any of the combatants, and is occasionally regarded as an unproven commodity here in the GDWA. She is the number 1 contender at press time, but has only faced one wrestler who has ever made it to the top 5.

Perhaps a win at the Ironwoman would gain her more respect amongst the wrestling circuit. At any rate, Tiger isn’t letting the incredible odds get her down, and insists that sometimes, long shots pay off. “Underdog? Long shot? I would not have it any other way!! Nobody gave Daisy Butterfly a chance of winning the Ironwoman last year, but we all know who came out on top of that one! This tournament is all about respect; something I have not received since entering Grand Dragon. If my three opponents are looking for some easy points, they can look elsewhere. This tiger is not going down without a fight!”

 So, what matches are the fans anxious to see? Well, Medusa vs. Andrea definitely headlines that bill. These two have faced once before in an all-out war for the GDWA World championship!! Andrea arguably had the upper hand in that contest, but at the Ironwoman, it’s going to be a whole different ball game! “That one match is going to *make* the Fall Moonsault PPV!!” states Ricky Garcia, a fan of the GDWA. “We never got the chance for a rematch, since Andrea lost the title and Rage quickly made that peace agreement with her. Since then, Andrea has put together one hell of a winning streak; meanwhile, Rage is headlining cards everywhere she goes!! It’s a shame that it’s only going to be 15 minutes. Still, whoever wins that match WILL walk out of there the Ironwoman!!!”

 Another match that fans are looking forward to is Officer Order vs. Lady Tiger. On paper, these two match up VERY nicely. Considering their sportsmanlike conduct inside and out of the ring, this should be a sensational wrestling bout that could headline any card.

 “I really don’t think that this is a match you’d see anywhere but the Ironwoman Tournament,” insists Laura MacNeil, another faithful fan. “[The match] is a dream match! I’ve never seen either of them cheat, so it should truly be a case of the best wrestler winning it. Tiger is so fast, I’m not sure Officer Order can keep up with her! Then again, I’m not sure how Tiger would counter Order’s martial arts attacks either!”

 Other matches in the tournament will be Andrea Chandler taking on Officer Order. This is a repeat of the Dawg Pound Nights PPV, in which Andrea took the victory. However, that match went over 45 minutes. It this match goes anywhere near that margin, it will be a draw. Lady Tiger recently had a chance to wrestle Sierra Browne. Well, at the Moonsault, she’ll be taking on Browne’s tutor, Medusa Rage.

 Medusa Rage’s other match that night will be against the fan favorite Officer Order. There could be a lot of hate in this one, as Rage and Order have had some very unkind words towards each other in the past! The two of them faced off in a technical rules match up, with Order earning the win. However, the match at the Ironwoman will be under standard GDWA rules. Therefore, it could be anyone’s game.

 In the final match, Andrea Chandler taking on Lady Tiger, we should see a classic contest of power vs. speed. Andrea has already proven herself as one of GDWA’s top superstars, can Tiger can rise to the occasion?

 My expert pick for the 1997 Ironwoman is none other than Andrea Chandler. However, this match is much different than Andrea’s usual matches. Will the master strategist of the GDWA be up to the task of becoming Ironwoman? Or perhaps it will be Officer Order, the two-time winner of the Lanny Manson award, and the unquestionable fan favorite going into the tournament. Or maybe still Medusa Rage, who could bring the Age of Rage to the very pinnacle of the GDWA in one night!! Can she rise to the occasion, and eclipse three of the hottest superstars in the GDWA?? Or, finally, could we see the underdog, Lady Tiger, shock the world by becoming the 1997 GDWA Ironwoman?? Well, there’s a lot of questions, but only one way to answer them. And that’s by tuning in, on September 1st, 1997, and being a part of the Fall Moonsault!! For the GDWA, this is Owen Crane, signing off.

Dunbar: Interesting….

Mutt: It’ll be a tough tourney, but I’m going with the real thing! Go get ’em Andrea.

Bishop: It’s too close for me to predict.

Dunbar: Speaking of the Fall Moonsault, the NEW Misfits are looking to get onto the pay per view card. Will be interesting to see if this team is anything like the old one. With comments, here are Godiva and Lauryn Rage…

The Misfits

[Fade in: Godiva and Lauryn Rage appear before their backdrop. Godiva is wearing her Misfits’ uniform. Lauryn is wearing a black spandex tank top and loose-hiphugger pants. Her hair is plaited in cornrows. Godiva’s blonde hair is done in a Goddess braid coil. She smiles at the camera.]

Godiva: ‘ullo, ducks. Been a ruddy long time, ain’t it? Well, that’s a bit o’ all right, wot. I been workin’ with me li’tle sistah, ‘ere. Gettin’ ‘er ready for the ropes, right. But it ruddy well seems nobody wants to fight the Misfits. Come on. Think about it. We’re a new team. We can’t possibly be that good yet, right?

Lauryn: (on cue) Or can we. I know what you guys are saying. ‘Oh lord’ another Rage hanger-on. Well, excuse me, but you’re gonna see that you made a mistake if that’s the assumption you’re going to make about us. The Misfits have always been a team of change and we always will be. But the family’s reunited and we’re ready to set the world on fire.

Godiva: right, look, we’re in this tournament for the new belts. That’s a bit of all right, really. But you ruddy ‘yena Queens don’t think that we won’t be after you, too. I see you done ‘ad your first loss. But the Misfits don’t give two figs about that. We’re the best team in the GDWA, even with a new member.

Lauryn: And you and those tacky Suicide Blondes are just taking up people’s airtime. We’re sick to death of you. We’re tired of watching. We don’t care about either of you. Nobody does. The tag-team scene is missing its juice. It’s missing the Misfits.

Godiva: Well, we put the challenges out there. I ‘ope you aren’t too afraid to take ’em. You know who we are. You know what we’re about.

Lauryn: We’re about tearing you apart.

Godiva: Oooh la, don’t you just love a tough kid?

[Fade out]

Dunbar: Already gunning for the World Tag Champs….

Mutt: There are more Rages than Guerrros! I tell ya. These damn Rages multiply like fleas…

Bishop: You *would* know about fleas, wouldn’t you Mr. Mutt?

Mutt: Real damn funny.

Dunbar: ON to other teams, we have some comments from GDWA Team Dojo comprised of ‘Luscious’ Lisa Thomas and Miko Azai….

Team Doja

(Inside a night club in Tokyo, Japan)

David Jones: Hello, GDWA fans! I hope you all didn’t forget who I am. I’m the baddest manager to walk the ranks of the GDWA. I’m here in Japan training my two athletes of quickness “Tokyo Thriller” Miko Azai and “Luscious” Lisa Thomas who are known as GDWA TEAM DOJA!

Miko Azai: What’s up! GDWA. I’m here with my peeps in the country of stars. Celebrating the Chinese independence but in Japan. I’m ready to get back into the ranks with my partner Lisa Thomas. So, any of you muthaf*ckas think you have the strength or the ability to step with the big dogs get ready for an ass whoopin. Here’s Lisa!

Lisa Thomas: Team Doja! Rules Japan as well the GDWA! F*ck them alphabet feds we the real deal right here in the GDWA. I’m ready to tear up Ma Porter, Sierra Browne and Radhi Ananda and that Lady Tiger. So, I’ll be back before you can say Hiroshima.

MA: We rule this b*tch!

LT: You ain’t lying but if you want to hit us you got to be trying!

DJ: My peeps are here ready to dominate again! So, President and Bookers. Book my ladies next week against any team or singles wrestler. SJPW, CCW and ESWP can’t stop the real team of the 90’s and that’s a fact. Peace out!

(Camera fades to black)

Mutt: Well it’s about time! I’ve missed Miko Azai…her nasty attitude really….

Bishop: Gets on my damn nerves. Just when I thought this summer couldn’t get any worse!

Dunbar: GDWA Team Dojo looking to dominate the singles and tag scene. Another team looking to dominate and perhaps take those World Tag belts are the Brown Girls…

Browne Girls

[Fade in: The Brown Girls, Indigo Browne and the 6’5 Marissa Monet, stand before their backdrop of a stylized sun with Brown Girls written through the center. Indigo is dressed in a loose blouse and hip hugger jeans. Marissa is dressed in boot cut hip huggers and a halter top which shows off her spectacularly straight shoulders and her powerful arms.]

Indigo: Otonashis, you messed with the wrong team when you tried to cripple us. I don’t care what your problem with the world is. You don’t think about blaming us for your failures.

Marissa: I know they’ve got to blame somebody other than their mothers. Otonashis, we want to finish what you started because we were taught never to let anything like this go. You bow down to a bully once and all that happens is you keep getting bullied. There are a lot of bullies around here.

Indigo: The Hyena Queens, the Suicide Blondes. Girls, you’ll get your lesson in the art of tag-team war soon enough. Right now, we want any of the three of you to sign on the dotted line. Queens, we’ll be seeing you at Fall Moonsault.

Marissa: With Medusa in our corner so she can watch us kick your tails from here to creation.

Indigo: We’ve watched and waited while the two of you have demonstrated your complete lack of class and ability. The belts have been tarnished enough in the GDWA. It’s time for skill and class to take over.

Marissa: And Queens, that isn’t you with your fake hair, fake fur coats and phony street credentials. You may have beaten the Misfits, but the truth is you still haven’t got your shot at Medusa Rage. And you still haven’t humbled her. Now you’ve got everything to lose. Wren & Frank, we’re thinking about you, too. We’re waiting to see what you can bring to the table. Personally, I’m curious. I better not see any of those southern crosses flying, though. When people talk to me about Old Glory I know exactly where they’re coming from. Even if they call it Southern pride.

Indigo: Calm down, don’t let things like that bother you. Let them have their memories. Right now, we’ve got a bigger threat to deal with, a couple of Amos and Andy’s playing at being champion. At Fall Moonsault we’ll get our chance to put them down.

Marissa: Okay, you stick Amos, I’ll take Andy.

[The Brown Girls throw arms around each other and laugh. Fade to black. ]

Mutt: It’s funny how them Brown Girls are JUST NOW asking to be the World Tag Champs…they are emotionally and physically prepared to become champs now! It’s good to see…

Bishop: Just as long as they leave those dirty tactics at home. They vacillate so often between fan favoritism and breaking the rules.

Dunbar: Speaking of rule breaking, the MISFITS and Browne Girls have a NEW team on the horizon. Ready to wage war against anyone related to Medusa, here are the Harlequins…

The Harlequins

[“House of Fun” by Madness begins playing over the PA system. The Harlequins, Comedy and Melody dance out from behind the curtain and head to the ring. Comedy’s husband, Tragedy, follows behind them. Comedy grabs the mic.]

Comedy: Hey everybody! Who loves you? And who do you love!

[Big mixed pop from the crowd.]

Comedy: Y’know, we’ve been here for…(looks at her watch) two months now and no one, I mean NO ONE wants to play with us! What gives? (Babytalk) Everyone afwaid of da big bad cwowns? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Mixed pop.]

Comedy: I mean really! There are plenty of wrestlers here. You got Duecy! I mean Angie! I mean…oh WHO CARES! She’s a Rage and compared to a Harlequin, being a Rage is worth squat! (turns to Tragedy) Right Honey?

Comedy: Then you got Chelsea “I cheat and bribe the officials to keep from losing a Title Match fair and square” Vanderbilt who’s walking around with MY WORLD TITLE! Chelsea, be a good sport. Give me my belt and you don’t have to go through another hour of getting beaten up by a clown, ‘kay?

[The crowd boos.]

Comedy: Now Melody has something to say! Mel?

Melody: (singing) You know what I’ve got here? (Holds up an unfamiliar belt.) This my friends is the ESWP Women’s Television Title! Many tried to get it, but only I could. Now they tell me that a couple of GDWA gals want a shot at it. Well…since I’m such a good sport, I’m gonna give you ladies a shot…HERE IN THE GDWA!

[Another mixed reaction from the crowd.]

Melody: So Sally McClane and Ma Porter. You two better…

Comedy: (interrupting) Sally McClane? Isn’t she an announcer for that midget league?

[Melody stops and thinks for a moment.]

Melody: You know you’re right! But next week, she’ll be the one cut short! Because next week after I beat one of the Dork Sovereigns on Friday Night Slamfest! I’m coming over here to give Sally a shot at yours truly!

Comedy: Ooh! Ooh! And while we’re at it! We challenge any team here to take us on. Unless you girls are afraid of us. Oooooooo! (spooky fingers) HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Let’s go Mel!

(“Goodbye” by Gravity Kills plays as all three Harlequins leave.)

Dunbar: The Harlequins with their sights on some of Organized Crime as well.

Bishop: And some outlandish remarks made against Chelsea Vandervilt.

Mutt: So what? Hey, I like these chicks! Arrogant, cocky and got gold around their waists. Not GDWA gold but lesser belts none the less.

Dunbar: The challenge has been made for next week. Sally or Porter gets a shot at the ESWP Television title. WoW!

Bishop: ON a different note, let’s hear from Chelsea Vandervilt regarding her match at Fall Moonsault…

Chelsea Vandervilt

[Q.Q. Ellis sits at his desk.]

ELLIS: Howdy, sports fans, Q.Q. Ellis here. Well, it would seem that somebody has finally stepped up to the plate to face the Golden Eagle. Who? I don’t know. And I’m not sure that it really matters.

As anyone who hangs out in the ESWP knows, Chelsea and I are always ready for anything. We are not taking this opponent lightly, despite the way I’ve talked since I came here. Truth is, gang, I have a great deal of respect for the athletes here in the GDWA, even the people I don’t like such as the Chandlers and Medusa Rage. I came in here trying to piss them off, figuring that would throw them off a bit. Unfortunately, it worked too well; I seem to have them all scared of the ESWP Women’s champion. Or something like that. But I digress.

Who could this wrestler be? It could be Andrea Chandler, but I doubt it. It could be Tiffany Chandler, but I don’t think she’s changed her mind about being “too good” to face us. It could be Harlequin Comedy for all I know. But I’m not worried about it. You’ll all find out when I do, and I can promise you that Chelsea will give you all a good show.

[Fade out.]

Bishop: Ellis is a great manager….

Mutt: OH please!

Bishop: You know, Chelsea she has a match on Tuesday against Nikita Marx. I can’t wait!

Mutt: Nikita gonna slap that sleeper on her and put her to sleep! I can’t wait.

Dunbar: MOVING ON! Fans, here is the final part of that insightful interview with Medusa Rage….

Medusa Rage

Melanda: You’ve taken a somewhat spiritual path now, haven’t you?

Medusa: I’m just letting it show. I’m not friendly with other wrestlers, generally. I’m not comfortable with them. I’ve let out all the vibrant sides of me on television. I’ve acted the fool. I’ve kicked it with them. I know it. You’ve watched the gold-fronted hood rat, you’ve seen the snake. You saw the angry woman. Funny, though, people never saw the mother in me.

Melanda: The mother?

Medusa: The part of me that helped nurture others to titles. The part of me that wanted to see others succeed. They only saw the whore. Maybe that was the strongest part. The most in your face part. I’ve been a competitor and I’ve been a bully, Melanda. I’ve been tough. The challenge before me is can I be strong? My first two matches back will test that. A ten-person elimination match and an Iron Woman challenge. You can never say I make things easy on myself. I don’t. I don’t know how. Actually, I’m really looking forward to going to Toronto. I’ve never had the chance to wrestle in Canada. I’ve never had the chance to show my adopted countrymen exactly what I can do.

Melanda: Adopted countrymen?

Medusa: (stretching out a bit as she adjusts Serpentine around her shoulders) Adopted countrymen. That’s something I’ve neglected. I’ve shown Trinidad love. I’ve had the ring announcers refer to that as my base-of-operations because where you’re from to me is more important than where you were born and where you live. My line is from Trinidad. That’s where I originate. That’s the culture, the philosophy that is mine. But Adrian Rage lives in Canada. Canada nurtured me. Canada fed me. Halifax, Nova Scotia saved me from life in the hills. I shouldn’t forget them for that.

Melanda: And what about New York? You seemed happiest there.

Medusa: That’s my spiritual home. That’s where everything I am is. The bright lights, the multiculturalism, the variety. Even the vice and corruption. That’s a kaleidoscope of what I am. I have to give them respect, too.

Melanda: I must say you certainly seem different. But we’ve seen you undergo these changes before. Sam Mutt made reference to the fact that every time you experience a setback you go into one of this phases.

Medusa: To an extent he’s right. And that’s because the setbacks are generated by me getting lost in the mix. I let myself get too high-wired and I break down. I get mentally exhausted. I fall out of love with the sport and I can’t see it any more. That’s usually when you see me start to bash it like a thug.

Melanda: And will we see that “thug” again?

Medusa: I think less and less although I reserve the right to be contradictory. (smile) I’m not young. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I’m 36. There’s a maturity that has to, I think, inevitably set in. If it doesn’t I don’t know what I’d do.

Melanda: Older and wiser? A kinder, gentler Medusa? Will you still be able to generate the same intensity that the crowd loved so much?

Medusa: (holding up a hand) Melanda, I’m not ready to retire. I’m not calling it quits. And I’m not dying. You’ve got me all wrong. My style won’t change. It works too well for me. No, I won’t change what brought me to the dance. But as Sonya Blade said, I’m an evolutionary wrestler. I change. I make mistakes and I learn from them. That’s what my sabbatical has been about. I miss wrestling now. I really didn’t before. And that’s what’s got me excited again.

Melanda: You saw Sierra’s title win in the Cruiserweight division. What do you think about what she’s become out of your influence?

Medusa: Sierra’s letting her soul out. Can I argue with that? No. When I managed her this is how I encouraged her to be. She’s never been what you would think of as a fan favorite. She’s too free-spirited. She’s too competitive. And she needs too much attention. In the States, she couldn’t be a fan favorite. She couldn’t only attract cheers because they don’t respect athletic ability around here so much as they liked being kissed up, too. Sierra should be cheered on her talent alone. But because she’s done whatever necessary to win, instead of making the sacrifice and losing with honor like a Keiko Mita would insist upon, she drew boos. Sierra’s personality cannot handle being second. She cannot handle being underappreciated.

Melanda: And that attitude has won her two championships. That was a goal you tried to achieve. Sierra did it. How’s does that make you feel?

Medusa: (laugh) I want to tear her head off and I want to give her the biggest hug I possibly can. Sierra and I are friends. Good friends. We will always be tight. And that she did something I couldn’t. That she did two things that I couldn’t — win a championship and be a bi-titled champion — makes me so proud. You will all never know how much we worked together to make this possible. And now she and Dalbello will carry on that tradition. I wish her every success. She’s found her role, even though she is taking more than a few cues from me. Now it’s time I found mine.

Melanda: Could we talk about Dalbello Rage? I think she shocked the entire GDWA with her conduct in her farewell matchup. Nobody expected this.

Medusa: That’s because nobody knows Dalbello Rage. As a wrestler it is your job to beat somebody. If you can do it one-on-one do it. Dalbello insists on that standard for herself. She can’t abide anything less. Nobody ever interferes on behalf of Lady D. But when Dal is managing, hey, she does whatever it is her charges want. That’s what managers do. She’s a contradictory, cussed individual. There’s no getting around that. Just because she’s in her farewell match doesn’t mean she’ll court the approval of the fans. In fact, she’s more likely to piss them off.

Melanda: So, Medusa, what challenges do you see coming up for you? What do you see yourself doing when you get back in the ring?

Medusa: Striving to perfect my vision. Getting back that form as the most dangerous woman in wrestling. The matriarch, the home girl, the Serpentine, they’re all going to find one home. And I’m going to find my inner peace. I’m going to fight with intelligent aggression rather than instinctive violence. Actually, I’ve been reading Phil Jackson’s “Sacred Hoops.” The man deserves every penny of that contract and more. He’s brilliant. And he’s exactly right. Fighting from anger will never lead me anywhere. I’ve got to fight with my head. I’ve got to think these things through. Sure, competition is one thing, but mindless violence is only going to destroy me in the end.

Melanda: Medusa, I want to thank you for letting me into your home like this. And I want to thank you for your candor.

Medusa: I just appreciate the opportunity to tell my side of the story. Hugs and hisses.

[Pull back on the two women casually talking. Fade to black.]

Bishop: Medusa showing a more intimate side of herself…

Mutt: Why Medusa is just going through a phase like always. I can’t wait for her to revert back to the Serpentine we all know that she is.

Dunbar: Fans, we’ve got HOTLINE news from Sonya Blade. Sonya?

Blade: Thanks Paul Laurence! Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance would like to say farewell to our fraternal league Classic Championship Wrestling. They were a first class promotion and one of the greatest in our sport.

(She flips through some papers…)

Blade: Fans, congratulations are in store for ‘Golden Girl’ Sierra Browne. She has become our first bi-titled champion by defeating ‘Kyoto Crippler’ Keiko Mita…Browne is our inaugural Cruiserweight Champion.

(Something draws her attention off screen as Sonya frowns.)

In commemoration of her achievements, as line of T-shirts are being sold — gold T-shirts with the words Brown Girl on the front. “Who’d want to be anything else” on the back, a line of Sierra Browne gold-rimmed sunglasses. A Browne bear dressed in gold with sunglasses and two-titled belts…how VEIN!

As a side story, Japanese officials were outraged at Sierra’s conduct during the bout. GDWA North American promoters are blocking a move to STRIP Sierra Browne of her Cruiserweight Championship. Fans, this is the same committee that pushed for the formation of CHERRY BOMB PRO WRESTLING and the formation of our Transnational C-weight title. Both creations were to promote and inspire competition rather than, as they put it, “the uncouth and anticompetitive competition we refer to as PROFESSIONAL wrestling.” Hmm…..

In related news, Browne’s manager Dalbello Rage will be competing in our Japanese sister fed CHERRY BOMB PRO WRESTLING. And guess who her opponent is this weekend? A current GDWA star who is truly on the rise….representing the Syndicate, ‘Brilliant’ Tiffany Chandler will be doing double duty in both GDWA and C-Bomb. WoW!

(Flips through some more papers.)

Blade: The ITO, Idol Team Otanashis, has a new logo on their web page…and the GDWA wants you to go all out with supporting it. Feel free to peep them out at

URL: http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Field/8369/ito.html

(Flips through more papers and smiles as the music comes up.)

Blade: That’s all this week for HOTLINE NEWS. Guys, back to you!

Mutt: They better NOT strip Sierra of her belt! She could sue!!

Bishop: I’ll agree with you there Sam. I hate the way she won the title, but if Denmark Vessey truly took offense, he would have made a public statement concerning it.

Bishop: The finals words of the night fans go to GDWA rookie Savannah Charles…

Savannah Charles

[THE SCENE: A busy “Hooters” restaurant, with wooden tables and chairs composed within a gazebo-like indoor setting. Beautiful waitresses in white cut-off t-shirts and orange polyester short-shorts scurry to and fro, carrying trays of wings, rings, and drinks. In the background, Little Richard’s “Good Golly, Miss Molly” blares from the PA system, adding to the beachside ambience. Savannah Charles steps into view, dressed as a server, her costume a bit briefer and lot tighter than those seen thus far. She smiles broadly and puts her hands on her hips.]

Savannah: Howdy, y’all! This is “Southern Steel” Savannah Charles, here to welcome ya to come on down to your local Hooters restaurant for some great food and the best sights in town! We’ve got beer on tap, and our dinner menu is sure to please even the pickiest eaters. Make sure to try our world -famous wings — while you’re checkin’ out the breasts and thighs!

(A shaggy, unshaven man appears from off-camera, wearing a server’s uniform. He’s carrying a tray of drinks and French fries.)

Man: Remember, we’re an equal opportunity employer!

(Savannah rolls her eyes, then shoves his tray into his face, knocking him out of view.)

Savannah: Not if WE can help it. (She smiles and faces the camera again.) Remember, at Hooters, we’re delightfully tacky — yet unrefined! See ya there!

(From off-camera, somebody yells, “Cut!” The director enters the scene, and pats her on the shoulder.)

Director: Great job, Savannah! That’s going to do it.

Savannah: You sure? That was only take three.

Director: Yeah, we got what we need. We’ll send you the final print later. (The grips begin breaking down the camera equipment, as he and Savannah move off to the side.) Mind if I ask a question?

Savannah: (She winks.) Depends on the question, sugar.

Director: Don’t worry. I’m just wondering why you’re a waitress here when you wrestle, too. I know you make good money doing that.

Savannah: I’da know, it’s fun. I like gettin’ out and meetin’ people this way. ‘sides, Hooters pays me a good chunka change to endorse ’em, so I figure it all works out.

 Director: Tough break on your first match, by the way. You looked like you had it won.

Savannah: Hey, stuff happens. I chalk it up as a fluke. I mean, no offense toward Jen, but she got a lucky shot in. I hope she’ll take me on again soon, ’cause I know I can do better’n what I did.

Director: She seems pretty reasonable. I think she’ll agree to it.

Savannah: Only time will tell. But if she don’t, I’m sure I’ll find somebody else to get in there with me. I’m pretty much up for all comers at this point. Now here…(she pushes him into a seat and hands him a menu, then sits down beside him and opens her order pad.) …lemme set ya up with some wings or somethin’. Hungry?

Director: Well…I could eat, yeah.

Savannah: Okay! How about a beer?

Director: I think I’ll have a coke instead.

Savannah: Coke, gotcha.

(The scene fades as she begins taking down his order….)

Mutt: I think I’ll wretch now!

Bishop: Sam Mutt, I really…

Dunbar: On that note, fans, we’ll see ya at ringside at the Tuesday Night Cat Fight!

CREDITS

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