Promos from Dementia Praecox, Organized Crime, The Misfits and more.
(The scene is one of Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance studios located in Tacoma, Washington. Two men are sitting behind a desk. They are wearing a blue blazer with the GDWA logo on the right side. A woman sits between them with a red and brown suit jacket and skirt. The lights start to come up, and “Atomic Dog” by Parliament–the GDWA theme music–begins to play.)
Dunbar: Wrestling fans, I’m Paul Laurence Dunbar with Sam Mutt and Sonya Blade bringing you the NEW Tease! The Saturday Night Tease. We have a lot to talk about tonight. And I’m not talking light conversation.
Mutt: That’s right! And now that I’m on the show we can get down to the heart of some issues!! Like the ass whoopin’ Lanny Manson took on the Tuesday Night Cat Fight…and Officer Order…
Blade: Tonight, we have volatile words from Medusa Rage along with some words from the usually silent Miko Azai!
Dunbar: As always, we begin with the champ! So let’s hear words from the Heavyweight Champion of the World, Dementia Praecox….
(Fade in on a shot of Dementia Praecox in a well-lit dressing room. She is dressed conservatively and holds a straightjacket in her hands. The Heavyweight belt is draped over her shoulder. Madame Hecate is suspicious by her absence)
Dementia: Well, all the hard has paid off. Madame Hecate has been training me hard to control m…m….my anger. I think I’m ready to fit in among the real world……
(She crosses her arms and pouts)
But it’s not fair. I won the most respected prize in women’s wrestling, and I’m not even allowed to enjoy it. Wait a second…
(She begins to look around the room suspiciously. She even runs to the door and opens it a crack and peeks outside. She shuts the door.)
Dementia: Good, nowhere to be found. I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for this…
Dementia: (Screaming at the top of her lungs) I’M THE CHAMPION AND YOU’RE ALL NOT!!!!!!!! ALL YOU OTHER WRESTLERS ARE PATHETIC COMPARED TO THE GREAT DEMENTIA! I’M FASTER THAN OFFICER ORDER!!! I’M STRONGER THAN ANDREA CHANDLER!!! I’M SEXIER THAN SALLY MCCLANE!! I’M BIGGER AND BADDER THAN MA PORTER!! AHAHAHAHHHAHHAHAHA!!!!
(Calms down a bit, catches her breath and looks directly into the camera. She bites her nails, looking a bit worried)
Dementia: Gee, I hope having this belt isn’t going to my head.
Blade: The World’s Champion enjoying her title reign, though seems a little flustered by the managerial style of Madame Hecate.
Dunbar: And we’ll be hearing a little about The World’s Champ and her manager in a new column that is premiering this week. Stay tuned fans….
Mutt: LOOK! As far as I’m concerned, this is irrelevant. Fine, she can’t have tantrums anymore…but WHO is she gonna face when she defends the title in a few weeks?
Dunbar: Well, there are contenders: Andrea Chandler, Micki Duran, Officer Order, Medusa Rage and Nomad.
Blade: Nomad? It would be a great opportunity for her…
Mutt: She ain’t ready! Hell, we haven’t seen her since the pay per view.
Blade: But how many chances does someone get at a World Title?
Dunbar: The other contenders?
Mutt: Micki Duran probably doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers with Andrea who’d want another shot. You got Double O, but she’s got a damn concussion…
Blade: Medusa just may be the gal.
Dunbar: Speaking of the Age of Rage matriarch, let’s hear from her…
Medusa Rage sits in a plush leather armchair. She is dressed elegantly, but simply, in a cream-colored pantsuit. Her dreadlocks are arranged in a simple, off-the-face pattern. She looks into the camera amusedly.]
Medusa: Hello all. I’ve asked for this time to address something which came to my attention a while ago. The Hyena Queens have returned full force, haven’t they? You know, the truth is, I like these two. They are very funny. And tragic, too. Just like the hyenas they’re named for their laughing dogs. You know, they’ve taken a stand on something I said last week. They don’t want the gang violence in the GDWA to stop. Of course not. They don’t have the talent to win on their own. That’s fine. However, there’s something they said that really did pickup my attention. They said I was turning white.
[Medusa lifts her hand and studies it.]
Medusa: No, it’s still a nice sexy shade of brown. You know, that comment went way beyond the lines of the normal banter I expect and ignore from the Hyena Queens. You know why? Because it just exposes their ignorance. Bassett, McMillen, if you knew me you wouldn’t even be dumb enough to ask a question like that. Medusa Rage ain’t white. Ain’t even white-washed. Realize that what Medusa has always been about is building a strong Black powerbase in the GDWA. You see the places I go, the people I hang out with. You’re just talking garbage if you think I’m turning white because I don’t want to see any more of this gang violence.
[Medusa twists a single dreadlock around her finger.] Medusa: You know, you two dawgs better turn the mirror on yourselves. Because you’re just two jackasses, Steppin, Fetchit, l’il Black Sambos. You two are just the Man’s monkeys and you act just like they want you to act. Talk your nonsense. Your fluency in Ebonics aside what the hell makes you think you’re true sisters? You’re the fakest Black girls I’ve ever met. Cheap, trashy, just straight up garbage. Bassett, McMillen, next time I’m anywhere near you I’m gonna tear your ovaries out. You know why? Because you just do disservice to the Black race and I’ll be damned if I let you reproduce. I don’t think you know a damn thing about what you’re talking. I see you and I’m reminded of a very important statement. “The Black race can’t afford you no more.” And I swear to you that after the Misfits are done with Burning Rain I’m going to let you have your match. And the Misfits are going to show you exactly what strong Black women can do. You ever see a hyena versus a lioness? That’s right. We’re gonna take you to the jungle and beat your flat asses like you stole somethin’. Promise. Hugs and hisses, ‘sistas.’
Blade: This is getting volatile. Can Medusa even concentrate on the World Title right now?
Mutt: Well we know Andrea can’t. Hell, she wants a piece of Organized Crime. As far as I’m concerned, Medusa has got her hands dipped in too many places…just like the Syndicate.
Dunbar: Speaking of Organized Crime, let’s hear from them…!
(Fade in on a shot of Tony Angelo in a fancy restaurant, talking on a cell phone. A plate of food is brought to him, and Tony gestures for the waiter to get out of his way. He lights a cigarette.)
Tony: (Into cell phone) That’s right, bambino, the one and only Zaranna! I tell ya, she should be the world’s champ. Hang on a sec…
(To camera) I ain’t got time to do these interviews week after week. Right now I’m involved in some serious negotiations. But lemme jus’ say dis. Ma Porter is UP-set. She can’t be reached right now, but tune in to the next show we got, and Ma Porter’s got the House of Styles. Listen to what she says, fan and wrestler alike. Cause Big Ma Porter will be the only one to deliver the truth. Good or bad, there are no secrets and no lies in la Cosa Nostra! So listen to Ma, and listen real good. That’s it.
(Back into cell phone) Yeah. so anyway, what are we talkin’ here? One thousand? Two?……
Dunbar: Ma Porter on the HOUSE of STYLES this week with a lot to say, huh?
Mutt: Porter is gonna get in people’s but! But I hope Zaranna is with her. The Z’ster tends to be a little self-serving at times.
Blade: Speaking of self-serving, what is up with Sierra Browne? Girl used to be a fan favorite…
Mutt: Used to be?!
Blade: Her actions on Saturday were uncalled for. Now, Double O defends on the Tuesday Night Cat Fight at less than 100%…
Mutt: That’s called being smart! Browne advances in the Cruiserweight tournament as well as getting a Western Heritage title shot! Yeah, she was a little violent, but Double O is too much of a damn softy to realize that Browne is a product of Medusa Rage…
Dunbar: Fans, before we hear from Sierra Browne, let’s take a look at Tuesday Night’s Card…
1) Miko Azai vs. Lady Tiger (result of open contract)
2) Sierra Browne vs. “Double O” Officer Order (Western Heritage Title)
3) Jenny Tyler vs Crimson
4) Gladiatrixes vs Suicide Blondes
5) MISFITS vs. Burning Rain (Tag Title Championship match)
6) High Flying Dolls vs. Double Otanashis (Result of Open Contract)
Dunbar: Fans, let’s hear from Sierra Browne….
Gold runs down the screen, spilling around an outline of a tall, lean woman. The shape begins to take substance. The silhouette becomes full and Sierra smiles out at the people.]
Sierra: This is it, Officer Order. May, I want to thank you for this opportunity. I know you’re forced to do it. I know you’re hurt. I know you’re dizzy, but you’ve got the heart of a champion. And I appreciate that. But it won’t save you. I need to have that title. I need it. This has been my ambition. This has been my dream. I won’t let anything stand in my way. Not you, not Daisy Butterfly, not Medusa … NOBODY. This is my time to shine, girl. And shine I will.
Mutt: The Golden Girl Sierra Browne may be the greatest opportunist in the GDWA. Double O has a concussion! That isn’t like a sore back or something of that trivia. She just may walk away with a belt Tuesday night!
Blade: This is the greatest challenge of ANY of Double O’s title reigns…and it is ALL due to Sierra Browne’s chicanery.
Dunbar: Fans, another woman who has her sights on that Western Heritage championship is none other than ‘Burning Cherry Blossom’ Rekka Sakura…
[open camera on a small shrine in Rekka Sakura’s Manhattan apartment. Here Rekka sits calmly with her eyes shut in a ceremonial robe, as always Yukio is here as a constant reminder of Rekka’s commitment to excellence]
Yukio: [calmly, almost serene] Rekka, you have set before yourself a mighty challenge by seeking to claim the Western Heritage title but still your mind is not truly focused for such a task… Your reckless spirit cries for more Rekka, but what is it that it craves so?
Rekka Sakura: [her eyes still shut but frustration in apparent on her face] I seek… justice… The Syndicate has declared war on a woman with the soul of a warrior but will not meet her in honorable duel. Even worse is the fact that I beat this same woman because these bakemono attacked her… and my prideful spirit boasted to the heavens how I beat her… I was wrong to be proud Yukio…
Yukio: [looking down at Rekka] You cannot help yourself at times Rekka…your pride shines like a beacon at times, but now the beacon is dim and the spirit of the humble warrior has overcome you
Rekka Sakura: [her eyes still shut and even more tormented than before] But sensei, how can I find true justice and harmony from this situation? Keiko Mita cannot face these ignoble fools by herself and hope to win!!
Yukio: [calmly] you must aid her in a way that you feel will bring honor to you both… You have made ovations to her for a tag match have you not?
Rekka Sakura: [hangs her head sadly] Yes, but she heeds not my offer…
Yukio: [scratching her chin] then there is but one thing to do… Face her enemies for her!! Rekka you must, in good faith, wrestle a member of the Syndicate to show Keiko that you know of honor!!
Rekka Sakura: [her eye flash open, the heat and rage in them mounting] YES!! THE SYNDICATE SHALL FEEL JUSTICE!! BURNING JUSTICE OF FIERY SPIRIT AND SHINING SOUL!!! [Shuts her eyes and bows before the altar] my answer has been delivered… I must wrestle the Syndicate, one after the other and all in the same night… I must prove that Rekka Sakura is made of steel and fire… the challenge is made but will it be met?
Yukio: [smiling] only time will tell Rekka… NOW BACK TO TRAINING!!! [Points to the nautilus machine]
[Rekka Sakura sighs in exasperation… Fade out]
Dunbar: As we approach the half hour mark of the Saturday Night Tease, Sonya Blade leaves to prepare for the Hotline news. Sam joins me now with Allen Bishop.
Bishop: Glad to be back.
Mutt: Anyway! Damn, who does this gal think she is? Challenging the Syndicate?
Bishop: She’s got guts! And somebody has to stand up against the Syndicate from the Fan Favorite locker room anyway!
Dunbar: She and Keiko Mita former opponents. Now Rekka claims to want an alliance with her. Fans, we have comments from ‘The Kyoto Crippler’ Keiko Mita who had this to say regarding the Saturday Night Special…
[Scene fades in showing a waterfall. A rainbow gleams in the mist at the foot of the falls. As the camera angle widens, Keiko Mita is shown next to the falls, dressed in a white karate style gi, in the classic position of meditation. As the camera angle zooms in on her face her eyes open, not even a little calm or serene.]
I close my eyes for peace, but all I see is MARY in letters of blood red. You accuse me of challenging you when you are down??? Mary, you just beat Lanny Manson, ex-GDWA champion. That was a big win for you, but the moment I challenge, you say you are down?! How much more DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I challenge you to a wrestling match. You refuse. I challenge you to a street fight. You refuse. What do you want?? A no rope electrified barbed wire, barricade, bomb, double hell death match?? Do you want me to promise to come to the ring with both arms tied behind my back?
You beat the first GDWA champion, but you are afraid of the Kyoto Crippler? Is that it Mary? Do you wake up at night in a cold sweat, remembering our match in Japan? Do you feel an ache in that knee every time you see me? Do you see your own blood in the ring at the Rumble where I busted you open, every time I challenge you? It’s come down to this, Mary. Either face me, or shut up! Face your fear. Face your demons. Face ME!
[Keiko glares into the camera, red in the face, then she takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly, calmly with a visible effort. Her eyes close and she returns to meditation of the scene fades out.]
Bishop: Amazing. I still can’t believe Bloody Mary defeated the legendary Lanny Manson…and we still haven’t heard from Lanny!
Mutt: You might as well call this the ‘Death of Legends’ tour instead of the East Coast Tour! Hell, can Bloody Mary be on a hotter streak…the Kyoto Crippler better watch her mouth!
Bishop: As far as I’m concerned, Bloody Mary is a coward. She won’t wrestle Mita in the ring, but will jab at her through interviews and segments.
Dunbar: Fans, GDWA promoters are trying to get that one signed. We don’t have comments from Mary by herself, but we do have comments from all of Wild West Management….
High Flying Dolls & Gladiatrixes
(Scene is out in a field underneath a tree in view of an old barn renovated as a training center, 1 of several Wild West Management uses. A gentle snow is falling unusual for April. The High Flying Dolls are watching The Gladiatrixes as they are giving them archery lessons. There are 2 circular straw targets each with a promo photo of The Suicide Blondes & Double Otanashis, Rusla shoots)
Rusla: Bulls eye right in that cows eye, Baby Jane Ross, ha!
Lacy: Impressive, my turn? (Rusla positions her, Lacy shoots but misses the Double O photo) Darn, I missed that one.
Tawny: It’s a good thing you’re wrestling the Double O’s, keep trying, you too Fury.
Lacy: That’s the truth. We might stink at archery but Fury & I have our strats down pat for Double O, especially that Kurumi.
Fury: Ha! got em right in their autographs (as the arrow hits the spot) And we’re not taking Kasumi lightly either, we’re as ready as we’re gonna get, how about you two with the hookers from Hell?
Tawny: (laughing) You mean somebody would ACTUALLY PAY to have sex with The Kamikaze Blonde-Roots? (Everyone laughs) Rusla & I are as focused on that match as we are on those ugly photos over there, right Rusla?
Rusla: Right, We’re going to pay back those b****hes for the way they treated you.
Lacy: Just don’t exact too much revenge there isn’t something left for us to have a rematch against, okay?
Tawny: Deal, maybe, that is if you leave a little of Double O for us to challenge.
Lacy: You got it! (As she sinks an arrow into Double O’s photo. Got any more photos we can shoot at, Strike, Misfits……
Mutt: Bloody Mary sittin’ around focusing on her tag team…who cares about the Kyoto jobber!
Bishop: Well, Mary is now a contender for the Internet title. That win over Lanny Manson puts her in position to challenge Micki Duran for HER belt. She’s too cowardly to put her win streak up against Keiko Mita!
Dunbar: Fans, speaking of winning streaks, Lady Tiger wrestles a woman who was formerly named Lady Starr. Let’s hear from Miko Azai….
(in front of the GDWA Banner)
David Jones: Lady Tiger is going to become a girl Kitten when she gets in the ring with The Tokyo Thriller Miko Azai.
Miko Azai: Lady Tiger I heard you been wanting a piece of me for the longest this isn’t the right time for you wrestling me because I’m mad. Mad as a bitch at a whole lotta things. I’m going to damage you kid. Why? You ask for this match well, it’s time to get your ask whip in because Miko Azai is on task.
DJ: Miko has another Open Contract after this victory.
MA: Damn straight Dave I won’t to see blood. Hahahaha! (Camera fades to black)
Bishop: Well, it is yet to be seen if Miko Azai can face Lady Tiger. She hasn’t wrestled in while.
Dunbar: Miko Azai known for high flying, free styles and martial arts. Can she take on an undefeated Lady Tiger?
Mutt: Of course. Hell, Lady Tiger wrestles from pay per view to pay per view. She’s as crusty as Miko Azai in MY opinion.
Dunbar: Fans, we have two newcomers coming to Grand Dragon. First, let’s hear from Jenny Tyler…
(Camera on Jenny Tyler, who is running along the Chicago lakefront.)
JT- Lanny Manson, big stud. I made my challenge, and I haven’t heard an answer. If you’re such a great champion, how come you haven’t returned my challenge…and look at this, Crimson, what a joke you are, once I get done kicking the shit out of Fear Factory, I’ll whoop your hide until you really are crimson.
Dunbar: Jenny Tyler making her debut this Tuesday Night on the Catfight against Crimson…
Bishop: We also have words from newcomer Laura Cameron…
[This is John Sebastian reporting live from the airport in Tacoma, Washington. There have been rumors of a Canadian wrestler who just signed on with the GDWA. Reports are sketchy right now, but what we know right now is she comes from a huge wrestling family which wrestling fans are familiar too]
**Cheers in the background**
[That must be her now! Let’s go see if we can talk to her!]
**The sound of shuffling feet, people talking and murmurs.**
[Wait a minute! There’s “The Dominator” Don Cameron from the NIFW, one part of the tag team Rock and Roll Warriors! Excuse me, Mr. Cameron!]
Don: Hey, look Laura! It’s John Sebastian!
Laura: John Sebastian??
[My God….Laura Cameron….? Is that you?]
Laura: Well, howdy there Mr. Sebastian! Long time no see!
[In case anybody is wondering, I was the reporter who covered Laura Cameron’s collegiate win at the Canadian College Wrestling finals! Hey Kirk! Turn on the camera!]
**White screen at first, and then a picture shows. Smiling into the camera is the face of the 25-year-old Laura Cameron. She has a young face with curly brown/red hair. Standing next to her is her husband “The Dominator” Don Cameron from the NIFW. He’s a huge man at 6’7″ with long brown hair.** [So Mrs. Cameron. It is YOU how has signed the contract with the GDWA!?]
Laura: Yes, that’s true John. And it’s an amazing coincidence that you’re the first to tell about it!
[Why did you join the GDWA?? Did you decide that collegiate wrestling wasn’t for you?]
Laura: Actually, I realized that I wasn’t getting anywhere in collegiate wrestling, and Don was able to convince me to join the GDWA. I’m very pleased to be here!
**A crowd has formed around her and they cheer her on**
Laura: I went directly to the head of the GDWA and asked if he needed any new singles wrestlers. He got back to me, saying that one of the GDWA greats has retired and they needed somebody to fill the void. Hopefully I can fill that void and let the federation know that I’m finally here!
[You were a Canadian legend in the women’s wrestling collegiate ranks. Do you think you have what it takes to participate in the GDWA where you will be facing other women in excess to 200 pounds? What would your strategy be?]
Laura: **As the fans start a small LAURA chant** That’s a very good question, John. Even though I’m only 138 pounds, I think I have the ring smarts, speed and endurance to win a few fights here and there in this league. If I have to face somebody 70 pounds heavier than me, then I’ll have to give them a small warning first….
**crowd pop…which is pretty good for the group of 50 surrounding her**
Laura…Thank you. **she smiles**. As I was saying, I’d have to give them a little warning first, telling them they’re not in for an easy ride. And then I get into the ring with them and kick their asses!
**crowd pop. Another LAURA chant starts up**
Laura: I have lots of endurance, so I believe I can easily tire out the other wrestlers with my knowing of the sport and its moves. I can also outrun them in the ring if need be. **she smiles as parts of the crowd laughs**
[So, Don. What will your role be? Mainly, why are you here?]
Don: Well John. When I heard that Laura decided to join GDWA I was extremely happy for her. She asked me to accompany her to ringside as her husband, and since I love my wife, we both decided that I would be her manager. I will be there to watch her back. But most of all, I will be there to watch out for that pansy in the GDWA, the wimp who calls himself MISTER Furious Styles. The old team I used to manage, The Canadians of the ICW, still had a score to settle with him.
[So do you plan to settle their score?]
Don: Oh, no. Nothing like that. I’m just letting Mrs. Styles know that I’ve finally tracked him down. And if he makes one wrong move towards Laura, he’ll get what’s coming to him.
**huge crowd pop. Some start chanting Rock and Roll**
[Okay, back to you Laura. When do you decide to make your debut in the GDWA?]
Laura: To tell you the truth, I’ve already issued a challenge to a wrestler in the GDWA. So far, I’ve heard nothing back from her.
[Is there anything you wish to tell the lady wrestlers of the GDWA?] Laura: Yes John, there is. I’d like to point out to them that the Cameron legacy lives on in the GDWA, as it does in the CCW, the ICW, the NIFW and the PWA! I want to issue a challenge to all members of the GDWA! I challenge them to give to the fans as much time and energy they can, and they will always have an easier time wrestling. I also want to issue a warning. Laura Cameron is in the GDWA. I will not back down from nobody, and I won’t take any crap from anybody. Just ask all these guys **She motions all around her** Let me tell you, if it wasn’t for my fans, I wouldn’t be here right now. **She looks around** So, one more time. THANKS! And yes, I will sign some autographs! I’m not leaving until everybody is satisfied!!
**huge crowd pop**
[Thank you Laura Cameron. This is John Sebastian and I’m out of here!]
Mutt: I can’t stand this gal. Who is she to offend MISTER Furious Styles! Hell, I hope SHE wrestles Dementia Praecox! Praecox will show HER to make a mockery of MISTER Styles.
Dunbar: Fans, speaking of the World Champ, let’s hear our new GDWA feature, the “Eyes and Ears of the GDWA” by Robert West and Ms. Ressler….
THE EYES & EARS OF THE GDWA
ROBERT WEST & MS. RESSLER
Hello GDWA, this time we are going to focus on the Heavyweight Champ & former Internet Champ, Dementia Praecox. Probably one of the most enigmatic & sometimes controversial wrestlers, Dementia has proved her worth by claiming the top prize in the GDWA, The Heavyweight Title. No matter how uncivilized the contest was with all the outside interference Dementia prevailed over the popular rule breaking Andrea Chandler in outstanding fashion. Not only considering this a spectacular match both from a technical wrestling standpoint & a brutal spectacle, you have to consider as well, Dementia had just had her Internet Title taken from her in an equally brutal bloodbath of a match moments before by Micki Duran. An accomplishment that can’t be ignored. Some will argue the outside interference contributed to her win, but it was just as easy for Andrea to have scored the victory as well. Some will call it a fluke but the fact Dementia wrestled & fought while still bloody & injured from her previous bout & won just can’t be taken any other way but the fact Dementia like her or not is a spectacular athlete. How many others could have fought 2 main event matches like she did?
With this record aside, the question is what kind of woman is Dementia, anyway? Is she a fit champion to represent the GDWA given her perceived mental status? This woman is simply an enigma. Few have gotten to know her well besides her manager Madame Hecate. In a recent interview after Founders Day, Bloody Mary questioning Dementia’s mental state as is Dementia really insane or as the adage goes ” There is a fine line between genius & madness, I wonder if there’s more to you than we know? This is the point to this editorial. Is Dementia fit & is stable enough to hold the reign to the crown or is she being exploited by the likes of Madame Hecate & the powers of the GDWA? I’m reminded of the movie Beyond Thunderdome when Mel Gibson fights a massive masked fighter. When he wins & pulls the mask of he is astonished to see a man-child, a mentally challenged fighter with the body of an Adonis but the mind of a child trained only to fight. Is this the same with Dementia? There is no doubt, she is a superb athlete. But, is she really as fragile in her psyche as she has demonstrated in interviews?
Shunned by Andrea Chandler, Medusa Rage & others of whom she just wanted to be friends she struck back in the only way she could, by fighting. If Dementia really is as mentally challenged as she is should she be allowed to be exploited by Madame Hecate & those making big money off her now increased celebrity? I think not! If this is the true Dementia we are seeing her mind should be as strong as her body. Those that make fun of her, her appearance, demeanor should be ashamed. Those that shunned her friendship should be ashamed. Those that stand to make big dollars from her celebrity status should be most ashamed. I’d like to get a peek at her bank book & see what portion of those dollars makes it to Dementia. To end, Dementia should be supported & most of all helped to regain her mental faculties.
She has already impressed us with her athleticism, imagine what a true champion she would be if she had all her faculties. Dementia, listen. You are liked. You are respected! Do us a favor for those of us concerned with your wellbeing, take control of your life. Madame Hecate, we don’t know how much you really care for Dementia the person but if there is an ounce of humanity in you see to it that Dementia is guided properly. If so, Andrea & the rest of the contenders will no doubt be frustrated in their attempts to regain that jewel of a title because we think Dementia could reign a long time.
Coming soon, out thoughts on Medusa’s softening personality. Also the gang mentality in the GDWA. Also is the GDWA too violent? What do you think? We’ll tell you what we think in the coming weeks. Good bye for now.
R.W. & M.R.
Dunbar: Great new feature to Grand Dragon. And fans, wrestlers, if you have any comments or rebuttals for the “Eyes and Ears of the GDWA” please send them to: email@example.com
Bishop: Now, let’s go to Sonya Blade with the GDWA HOTLINE NEWS!
Blade: Thanks Allen! Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance would like to first give the fans a little meat to chew on. Fans, something big on the rise for ‘La Femme Nikita’ Nikita Marx! I haven’t discovered for sure, but Mike Whalen and myself are working on finding out just WHAT is going on. Nikita hasn’t been seen in the ring since her defeat in a No Holds Barred Street fight at the hands of Medusa Rage.
(She flips through some papers…)
Blade: Fans, let’s look at the progress of the GDWA Cruiserweight title tournament!
[CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE TOURNAMENT]
Lady Tiger vs. Sierra Brown (Semi-Final Match)
Wendy Marshall vs. Daisy Butterfly (Quarterfinal Match) with the winner to face Keiko Mita.
(Flips through some more papers.)
Blade: The Cruiserweight title tournament continues in the next two weeks!
(Smiles as the music comes up.)
Blade: That’s all this week for HOTLINE NEWS. Guys, back to you!
Mutt: What’s wrong with Nikita?
Dunbar: I don’t know. Hopefully we will hear about the Russian soon…fans, let’s hear from some other champions. Let’s hear from the GDWA Tag Team Champions the MISFITS…
The Misfits crouch slightly in on the camera, the belts draped over their shoulders, their eyes hungry.]
Dalbello: Gojira, Maria, class is in session. See, the people up in the GDWA offices have been jerking us around since we haven’t been good little girls. But I don’t care about being a good little girl. You know, I’ve been doing this for a while. I’ve been breaking my back for this profession. And you know what, I’ve been through this before and I’ll be through this again. Didn’t you just love the way they showed us losing in the LEWA. No, they didn’t show you the footage of when we won those titles in our second match. Of course not. Vessey just wants to embarrass us.
Godiva: Well it ruddy well can’t be done. They don’t know who’s they messin’ with. Gojira, you’re a big strappin’ girl and Maria, you’re a little firecracker, but you think that’s gonna save ya? ‘ell no. We’ve had loads of experience with teams like the two of you. And you probably never met a squad like us. So, there’s something you’re gonna learn tonight.
Dalbello: And that’s the Misfits are just two malicious bitches.
Godiva: Oooh ka, it’ll ‘urt so good. Ta!
[Godiva blows the screen a kiss as it fades to black.]
Mutt: MISFITS sound serious. And they REALLY resent that footage. Boy, have they won the LEWA tag belts as well?
Bishop: Well, maybe the Hyena Queens can straighten all this madness out soon…provided the MISFITS can hold on to those tag belts this weekend against the Burning Rain!
Dunbar: The action never stops here at the Grand Dragon. Fans, for all of us here on the Saturday Night Tease, I’m Paul Laurence Dunbar saying see ya at ringside!