Promos from Daisy Butterfly, Radhi Ananda, Burning Rain, Sally McClane and more.
(The scene is one of Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance studios located in Tacoma, Washington. Two men are sitting behind a desk. They are wearing a blue blazer with the GDWA logo on the right side. A woman sits between them with a red and brown suit jacket and skirt. The lights start to come up, and “Atomic Dog” by Parliament–the GDWA theme music–begins to play.)
Dunbar: Wrestling fans, so much going on we can hardly fit it all in. Welcome to the Saturday Night Tease. The lovely Ms. Sonya Blade and Color man Sam Mutt join me with this 2 hour broadcast. First off, congratulations to Daisy Butterfly who is the NEW Internet Heavyweight champion. Jennifer Grier the ‘Jumping’ one preparing for her BIG match at the Fall Moonsault…
Blade: And what of Micki Duran? Will she get a rematch at Fall Moonsault?
Mutt: And what’s this schmuck Keiko Mita got to say about Sierra Browne?!
Dunbar: Woah, you’re opening a huge can of worms. First, let’s hear from Daisy Butterfly who won her first singles title last week….
(SCENE: DAISY BUTTERFLY, shortly after winning the GDWA Internet Title. She’s in her dressing room, wearing a robe and drying her hair with a towel after a shower. The Internet Title is propped up in her lap. She smiles at the camera when she notices it…)
Daisy: _THAT_ is how the game is played. Before I say anything, I’d like to give respect to Micki Duran. In and out of the ring, belt or no belt, you proved to me and all the fans in San Francisco and worldwide that you truly are a legend. Grace in defeat is a truly admirable trait, unrealized by so few. I look forward to our return match at the Moonsault.
(Daisy lifts the belt a bit higher on her lap, making it visible to the camera)
Daisy: Wins, losses…this is the true seal of quality. Held by some of the most dominating women ever to lace up boots and step into a ring. With this…
(Daisy slaps the front of the belt)
Daisy: …and Double-O’s World Title, I’d say things have finally come full circle. We may have lost some battles along the way, but we’ve taken the war. We’ve raised flags all across the battlefield. We’ve brought back the essence of the sport.
(Daisy takes a look at the face of the belt)
Daisy: Beautiful…truly beautiful. Now, Micki Duran agreed to defend her belt against Sierra Browne next week. Sorry to disappoint you, Sierra, but there’s been a change in plans. You have to face me, girly-girl. What exactly are we doing? I have no idea. One minute, the broadcasters are talking about how in the next three cards, no belts will be defended. Then I see that you’re still scheduled for a shot at this one. Not exactly sure what the deal is, but here’s what I’m saying. I’ll wrestle you, I’ll even put the belt up. But there’s got to be a bit of dialogue between your side, my side, the Front Office and the Syndicate. You and Micki were scheduled to fight first. I’ll defend against anyone, anytime. But chill on your megalomania. Before you go after a third title, defend the ones you have. Put that cruiserweight belt up against Micki next week. Unless you want to get shown up like your skirt. Because I can and will do that. What you saw tonight came from respect, and I pulled no punches. Sierra, I have NO respect for you. It doesn’t matter how many belts you have; you carry yourself like a nobody, you’ll get treated like one. This girl is ready for the world and every challenge in it. I’m not lost in the rain anymore, I’m bringing the storm. Sayonara, girl. I’m ready to do this tonight.
Dunbar: Daisy wearing that belt well. She challenges Sierra Browne to defend her title against Micki Duran! She wants Browne to carry her belt a little higher…
Mutt: She and her moral platitudes. What does she care! Let Duran and Browne work out any differences. Daisy needs to put that belt up on the damn line!
Blade: I do find it confusing. A ruling regarding no further title defenses that has already been broken by GDWA promoters.
Mutt: So she and Duran lock up at the Fall Moonsault?! I can’t wait! Duran and the SYNDICATE will be vindicated.
Dunbar: Speaking of vindication, the former champ and the Syndicate had this to say…
(The view opens on the lush green grass of a gridiron, lit brightly by the overhead sun. Andrea Chandler, Micki Duran, Tiffany Chandler, and Sally McLane stand at mid-field, wearing black football-style half-jerseys and matching tight shorts. Andrea twirls a football on her finger and says,)
Andrea: Okay, fourth quarter, you’re down by six, with the ball on your twenty. Who takes you to the winning touchdown? I pick Montana.
Micki: Montana? Oh, girl, please…Montana can’t hold Warren Moon’s jock.
Sally: Marino. Definitely Marino.
Tiffany: What do I care? Football is a barbaric exercise catering to uncultured Neanderthals.
Andrea: And wrestling isn’t?
(The Kingpin walks up, dressed in a UNIVERSITY OF NORTHERN COLORADO National Champions sweatshirt and sweatpants, with a whistle around his neck.)
Kingpin: You ladies gonna scrimmage or gossip?
Andrea: Oh, we were just considering who the best comeback QB is.
Kingpin: You nuts? It’s Jim McMahon. End of story.
Andrea: Speaking of the End, Micki…tough break against Daisy. But I think you’ll get that Internet title right back.
Micki: Hey, I could talk *censored*, but what’s the point? Daisy beat me. My bad for defending three weeks running. But I’ve got a couple of weeks to chill some, and my belts coming back to me at the Moonsault. No worries.
Kingpin: Hrmm…Daisy…. (He makes some notes on a clipboard.)
Andrea: Tiffany, I really wish you’d thought twice about the stipulations for your match with Sierra. Are you sure you calculated this thoroughly?
Tiffany: My dear cousin Andrea. Let me assure you that ever situation has been accounted for. Unless Sierra Brown has the *insert Football team of choice here* team at ringside, there is no way she can walk out of that ring as the winner of our match. Micki and I have been talking and have come up with the perfect plan for Sierra and Ms. Perfect.
Andrea: Are you going to let me in on your little secret?
Tiffany: *giggling* Oh… when the time is right, Andrea.
Andrea: I’ll have to take your word for it.
Micki: Hey, did Order ever get back to you? I never pictured her as a duck.
Andrea: Not yet, but she will. I’m the key to something she needs: respect. She knows that her reign won’t ever be considered credible unless she can get by me, and frankly, I don’t think she can. I suspect she’ll come out of hiding shortly and address the issue. She really doesn’t have a choice.
Micki: Yeah, well that, and little bitch Sierra “I can’t beat Savannah Charles” Browne is still yappin’ at our heels.
Andrea: Yes, I noticed that. I suppose she doesn’t quite fathom the difference in ability between us. She may scream my name all she likes, but ultimately, she’s of no real significance to me. She and Dalbello might as well be a tag team, as reliant as she is on “Miss Perfect.”
Micki: Yeah, well, Dalbello knows the score. She knows what’s up. Sierra’s never gonna get to you. I’m gonna get a hold of Sierra Browne and do things to her Momma Browne never told her about. Those are some mighty long legs you got there, Sierra. Should look mighty nice in a cast.
Andrea: And strip her of her belts in the process. Sweet.
Kingpin: Yeah, well, none of y’all are gonna make it anywhere if you don’t get up off your little asses and work, huh?
(The ladies nod at one another, and suddenly they bull-rush him and tackle him to the ground.)
Micki: That enough work for ya’, baby?
Kingpin: I can see four ladies that’re gonna get an ass-whippin’ in about ten seconds….
(They squeal and sprint away, the Kingpin in hot pursuit….)
Blade: A lot was said. Andrea challenging Officer Order for the World title? Tiffany looking forward to that shot at the Western Heritage title…and Sally McClane….
Dunbar: Sally McClane saying nothing about her disappearance.
Mutt: So what?! Look, we have 4 hungry women looking for some titles. Order and Daisy don’t have a chance! Especially since Duran is on the prowl.
Blade: Let’s put things in perspective. Daisy and Duran had a classic matchup. From where I sat, Duran got BEAT! She was faced with a determined Daisy Butterfly who proved why she is the Ironwoman.
Dunbar: Is Daisy ready to wear that Internet Title? Can she stand up to the pressures as Micki Duran did?
Blade: I don’t know. She will be tested by a slew of contenders. Now we must ask can Duran keep her cool without her belt. She’s never submitted before…
Mutt: FINE! Duran submitted. Daisy worked on that back all night whereas Duran was ready for arm attacks. Daisy went back to the high flying game and less mat wrestling. Fine. At Fall Moonsault Duran shows the entire world why she is a legend…and that will be the END!
Dunbar: Speaking of titles, we have Sierra Browne who has comments regarding Savannah Charles….
Sierra Browne stands before the camera, smirking broadly. She’s got the Great Western Heritage title over her shoulder and Dalbello backing her up. Both women are smiling wickedly. They wear Sierra T-shirts with Browne Girl: Sweeter than a Rich Bitch written on them.]
Sierra: Oh, Savannah, how stupid can you be? Do you really think I care about getting a W in the column over your little hayseed tail? I don’t care whether you call your genetically-inferior hair blonde or red, it looks just as stupid as you did in the ring celebrating the victory I PERMITTED you. I did what I wanted to do. That was hurt you. That was wake you up. Little did I know that I would get the oh so delectable pleasure of laying out Officer Order, too. That’s what this game is about, Savannah. I’m content not to be number one in the rankings. I’m content to wear two title belts and I’m content to dominate all my opponents. You think plucking Kevin Taylor from the dustbin will help? I doubt it. You’re seeing now the other side of the GDWA. There are villains and then there’s me, the angriest woman in the game.
Let me give you a little piece of advice, hayseed, I’m not the woman to mess with. I’m gunning for the big fish, the so-called Rich Bitch. Andrea, I’m calling you out again. Oh, Andrea, don’t you want to come out and play with me? Or are you too scared. Too choosy, too busy fighting second-rate talents and stealing little tiger masks instead of facing real threats. See, your girl Micki got too lazy and found out too late what title reigns are made of in the GDWA. Smoke and mirrors. This could all vanish tomorrow. Poof! Gone, just like that. That’s why you’ve got to burn hot and fast right now. Right here.
[Sierra lifts the Great Western Heritage title from her shoulder and studies it.]
Sierra: I am the greatest Great Western Heritage champion ever. That’s on record, but now I get my shot at a third piece of gold. Daisy Butterfly, I applaud you on ending the Syndicate’s gold run. I applaud you for finally getting yours. And I’m sure the Japanese contingent on the championship committee is finally happy that they’ve got two of the major GDWA singles belts. Well, I have the other two. And you know how much I love the championship committee. You know how much I adore them. I don’t. So, it’s time to trade up belts. It’s time to take what is rightfully mine. I’m going to make your Internet reign as long as Staci X’s girl. Because I’m at war. And I’m out to humiliate the committee that saw fit to declare me a disgrace. They don’t seem to realize that painting me into a corner is a very foolish thing to do. They don’t seem to realize just how deadly I am. Oh no, they don’t know me very well. And Butterfly, neither do you. It’s the end of the summer, you know. Time for all the pretty butterflies to grow old and die.
[Sierra smirks sadistically.]
Sierra: (waving) Bye-bye, little butterfly.
[Dalbello holds up a dead Monarch butterfly, a pin stuck through its center.]
Sierra: Doux-doux darlin, don’t you love symbolism?
Blade: That was a low blow regarding Staci X…
Mutt: And aptly put! Browne never skips a beat. She covered Duran, that no good racist Savannah Charles as well as Daisy Cockroach. I guess you could say she’s an Equal Opportunity destroyer. (laughs!)
Dunbar: Daisy and Sierra next week, and we must ask ourselves if Browne can BEAT Daisy. Daisy is one of the premier wrestlers in the sport.
Blade: Well, first the injury. Sierra was smart enough to make it a non-factor against Savannah. But Daisy the technical wrestler will be a far more difficult adversary.
Mutt: Hell, Daisy is well over the hill. She talks about how she COULD HAVE been world champ, but Sachie Yokoyama’s death was traumatizing. Hell, when Zaranna’s brother died, nobody said that was why she never regained the world title. Browne is gonna eat Daisy for lunch. She’s hungrier and will do whatever it takes to win.
Dunbar: I must say that Savannah Charles impressed me! Shades of Lanny Manson!! The woman knows how to use her size, that’s for sure.
Mutt: Ahem, we have a wrestler named Ma Porter. She’s the ONLY woman who has size in the GDWA!
Dunbar: Be that as it may, Savannah winning in a hard fought contest. Thank God she is only out for 2 weeks. That post match attack could have left her permanently damaged.
Blade: And Kevin Taylor as the surprise manager?
Dunbar: Fans, let’s go to Savannah…
(“Southern Steel” Savannah Charles stands before a wall-sized Confederate flag, her hands on her hips, smiling broadly. She wears painted-on, faded jeans, a skintight blue half-top, and a baseball cap bearing a “stars ‘n bars” patch. Her thick red hair spills down behind her.)
Savannah: Hey, y’all! It’s me, Savannah Charles, and I figured I should say a few things after notchin’ my first GDWA win the other night. Y’know, I ain’t been a rookie in a long time, but I sure looked like one when I let that no-good Sierra Browne tag me with her belt before the match started. I guess she knew she couldn’t take me straight-up, and had ta turn to shortcuts right off the bat. That made the match a lot longer’n tougher than it had ta be, but when it was all said and done, I took ever’body’s little doux-doux darlin’ and wrapped ‘er up for the three! ‘Course then she and that “Miss Perfect” dummy tried to work me over, but I’m still here, I’m still kickin’, and I ain’t lettin’ a banged-up kneecap keep me outta the gym! Couple weeks and I’ll be as good as new. And you can bet that I’ll come knockin’ for my shot at those belts’a yours real soon, so polish ’em up all nice’n pretty!
Here’s the deal: I don’t like to rub in my wins, ’cause I figure that’s kinda tacky. And Sierra, you got some kinda bug stuck way up in that big ol’ butt’a yours, and if anybody’s got it comin’, it’s you. But I’ll avoid the temptation, and just say what’s on my mind. I don’t get you. You’re a damn fine athlete, and gave me a real run for my money. I think you’ve got the tools to hang in there with most people in this fed. But you’ve got this chip on your shoulder alluva sudden, like somebody owes you somethin’, like the world took a collective crap in your Wheaties, and now you’re just outta control. You prob’ly think that’s some kinda compliment, but it ain’t. You’ve lost it, girl. All that stuff about race is just a big smokescreen for your own insecurities. Fact is that you ain’t shown anybody that you’ve got what it takes to hang solo since your “attitude adjustment,” and if you subtract Medusa and that cheesy manager of yours from the equation, you ain’t got either one’a them belts’a yours, and you’re down about four wins. Are you proud’a that? Don’t it register somewhere that you ain’t gettin’ by on your God-given talents? You might be happy that you’re succeedin’ usin’ these tactics, but lemme tell ya, girl, that dog won’t hunt! All you’ve done is make a deal with the devil, and you won’t like it when it’s time ta pay up! Sooner or later, it’s gonna come back to haunt ya, mark my words.
For you ta make all kinda noise about the rebel flag and racists and whatnot, and then turn right back around and act like a two-bit thug, it just shows everybody what a hypocrite you are. So the way I see it, you need ta straighten up and fly right, or reality’s gonna come back and land on you like a ton’a bricks.
(She crosses her broad arms, and turns even more serious.)
One final thing: that crap you’n Dalbello did after the match was ridiculous. I ain’t all that hurt, but you’d’a put me outta the sport if you’d had more time. That’s the only freebie you get. Tryin’ to injure somebody ain’t my style, but I’m more than willin’ to return the favor.
(She extends an arm, causing her triceps muscle to stand out like a marble sculpture.)
This body ain’t for show. I can hurt you for a long time, little girl, so remember that. Same goes for you, “Miss Perfect.” I’ll leave you suckin’ your food through a straw if you get involved in my business again, you got me? And if you tropical turds don’t like it…(she kisses her finger, then plants it on her backside)…then you can just KISS THIS!!!
(She smiles broadly.) That’s all I got ta say for now. See ya!
(Savannah strikes a double-biceps pose, and the view fades.)
Dunbar: We saw a tremendous matchup between Browne and Charles. This could be the one match that propels Charles to stardom.
Mutt: Perhaps I should clarify. IF, and that is IF, that match is the springboard into stardom for Charles, it’s just another day at the office for Browne. Sierra is a SUPERSTAR! Her place in history is secured…the first bi-titled champion EVER!! Stick around for a few years and MABYE you will have a few accolades for yourself, Savannah.
Blade: Savannah is not a rookie from what I hear, and I hope to see her at the Fall Moonsault.
Dunbar: Jennifer Grier defeated Charles about a month and a half ago in Savannah’s first match up. Grier faces Browne at the Fall Moonsault for the Cruiserweight championship. Grier has shown great promise in the last few months…just as much as another GDWA superstar. Fans, let’s hear from the ‘Kyoto Crippler’ Keiko Mita….
[Scene opens up showing Keiko Mita in a gymnasium working out on a heavy bad. She’s dressed in a black sweat suit, she’s let her hair grow a little longer, wearing a black headband to keep it in check. A knee brace is still visible under the fabric of her pants. After a vicious series of kicks, she pauses to wipe the sweat from her eyes and smiles faintly to the camera.]
Keiko: It’s really great to be back in the gym. I’ve not really been able to work out in too long, but for the first time in months my knee feels great and I can really get snap into my kicks. I’m going to be in the best shape of my life for Fall Moonsault, which is bad news for Bloody Mary. We’ve tried to rip each other apart three times now with no clear result, Mary. But this time we’ll have a clear result. And DON’T think I can’t figure out Sierra Browne, Dalbello Rage, or one of your other buddies might not come out to try to help you win. You claimed you were just watching the back of Sierra Browne, but that sure as hell doesn’t explain why you tried to jump into the ring when I had Sierra on her back.
[Keiko pauses, staring at the camera coldly as she brushes her fingers through her longer hair.]
Keiko: As for me being shamed and losing so many times in the GDWA…WHY should I feel ashamed, Mary? I’ve lost three matches, all due to outside attacks or interference. Why should I feel ashamed Tiffany Chandler and Sierra Browne admitted they can’t beat me one on one and needed additional help? As for your little stipulation that the loser of our match admits the other is right about when you were injured. Sure! You accepted my match, I’ll agree to that. It’s time this was settled. The Kyoto Crippler is as sharp as she ever has been, Bloody Mary, get ready to get cut down at the knees. I even have the number of a good knee specialist to give you afterwards.
[Keiko low kicks the heavy bag savagely for emphasis before returning her intense gaze to the camera.]
Keiko: Next, the Dragon Trio. I’ve been looking over tapes and talking to a lot of wrestlers. And I have to admit, I’m amused by some of the people who are so down on the Dragon Trio. Bloody Mary. Dalbello Rage. How nice of them to be so concerned about the trouble with gang attacks and double teams in the GDWA. ESPECIALLY SINCE BOTH OF THEM ARE GUILTY OF THAT! Dalbello, you blindsiding me to help Sierra win the title just illustrated WHY the GDWA needs a Dragon Trio. I guess you just can’t stand the thought of not being able to gang attack freely like you have in the past. Dragon Trio will ROCK THE WORLD!
[Keiko holds up three fingers to the camera before continuing.]
Keiko: And Sierra Browne. No one can question you desire for the spotlight. You wrestle a busy schedule and take risks to get the glory. You have the talent and desire, but you lack the character of a champion. This latest little complaint is just one more example. Maybe YOU think you kicked my ass, but I and about 20,000 fans saw differently. Now, you think you are persecuted because of your skin color? Get a clue, Golden Girl. You are defined by your actions, not your color. And your actions have been pretty low class. Arrogance, back stabbing and lying. The only person you are fooling if yourself. I see you as you are and so do the fans. We’ll meet soon enough, Fools Gold Girl. Your manager won’t save you. Your alliance with Bloody Mary won’t save you. NOTHING can save you from the Kyoto Crippler.
[Keiko glares at the camera for a moment, then shakes her head.]
Keiko: On to better things. Congratulations on winning the title, Daisy. It was an honor being there to watch your back. It was a thrill watching you win the title. We’ve trained together and we’ve tagged together and I think I’m qualified to say you have a lot left to show the GDWA now that you have the Internet title around your waist. With you holding the Internet Title and May Order holding the World title, it’s nice to see some champions the fans can respect.
Keiko: [Grinning a little.] Ok, that’s it for now. I’m back to training. Who knows if all goes well, I might even manage a match before the Fall Moonsault to shake off some of the ring rust.
[Keiko returns to kicking the heavy bag as the scene fades.]
Mutt: Mita used to be a favorite of mine, but ever since she started slappin’ ass with Daisy Butterfly…
Blade: Daisy Butterfly is a top notch competitor. And as far as Mita goes, she’s come into her own. And if it weren’t for Bloody Mary, we’d have seen a NEW Cruiserweight Champion…Mita is a talent of unparalleled ability.
Mutt: Oh yeah? So who’s talkin’ about Mita? Everyone is focused on Sierra Browne. And you know why? Because she’s a winner. Period.
Dunbar: Speaking of the Western Heritage Champion, ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda is one of the greatest WH champions in our history. She faces an unknown opponent in a Street Fight on Tuesday Night. With comments, here is the 8th Wonder of the World herself…
(SCENE: A pitch black room. Without warning, a light shines; illuminating only the menacing face of “JUNGLE” RADHI ANANDA…)
Radhi: Mystery opponents…they matter not to the Eighth Wonder. This one is ready at all times to destroy everyone that enters my sight. I worry not over such insignificant things, such as my victims’ names. One by one, the bones and ashes are returned to the Earth from where they sprung; left for the buzzards and winds.
Wherever it may be, by however means. Whoever you are, you will fall. One more body paving the road for the Black Mother to travel on her blood-soaked feet.
Dunbar: Jungle seemingly unconcerned.
Mutt: Why would she be? She’s an IDIOT! As long as she has blood and no rules, that savage is happy.
Blade: Radhi is an…unorthodox wrestler, true, but she’s held that Western Heritage title longer than ANYONE…something must be working.
Mutt: Hell! We’ll see on Tuesday night.
Dunbar: Well, speaking of champions, there is some controversy over the ESWP TV title. It was thought that Ma Porter won it from Comedy on Tuesday night…now there is dispute over who is champ.
Mutt: Politics. Simple politics and prejudice against Grand Dragon.
Dunbar: Whatever the case, Ma Porter has attracted the attention of one member of Burning Rain…let’s hear from Gojira.
[Scene opens up showing Gojira Takeshima and Fire Angel Maria sitting around a table. Both are wearing shiny black sweat suits with ‘Burning Rain’ on the back is flaming letters. They appear to be looking over some type of announcement.]
Gojira: So, due to circumstances beyond management’s control, the tag team division is on hiatus for a bit.
Maria: I heard rumors there was some trouble between the vice pres overseeing the tag teams and the GDWA Pres. Who knows for sure.
Gojira: But now that we are back from settling some personal matters, we can’t wrestle??
Maria: So? We’ll get the Blondes soon enough. For now it’s kinda like that work stoppage last year in the government, a payed vacation until the GDWA gets its act together.
Gojira: And leave business unsettled? Not a chance. Ma Porter impersonated me in that ‘match’ against the Suicide Blondes, I’m not just going to sit back and wait.
Maria: So no vacation? What do you want to do, get her in the ring one on one?
Gojira: [Grinning] Yes! The two biggest women in the GDWA locking up. She’s a little bigger, I’m a little faster. We could give the fans a treat!
Maria: Ok…ok…so we’ll train for that. I guess it keeps us in shape for that match we get with the Hyena Queens. And those New Browne Girls are being annoying again.
Gojira: We beat them once. With the fans cheering us on, we’ll do it again. Same goes for the Suicide Blondes.
Both: GDWA! Burning Rain is BACK!
[Both raise their fists in a fighting pose as the camera fades.]
Mutt: Burning Rain…damn…go somewhere! Do something with your hair. But please, please stay out of Organized Crime business.
Blade: Now that the Tag division is on hiatus, what does that do to the OC? The Suicide Blondes find themselves inactive for a while.
Dunbar: Well, at least Gojira has found something to do. Ma Porter has become her target, we’ll find out shortly if Big Ma accepts.
Blade: Speaking of accepting, I’ve accepted Medusa’s change. I feel that it is genuine and authentic. With comments tonight, here is Ms. Medusa Rage….
The GDWA cameras catch Medusa Rage outside Club Rage in Brooklyn. She is performing the meet and greet at the door with Marissa Monet and her brother, Shadoe. Marissa and Shadoe hold onto each other, closely. Marissa is dressed in an elegant powder blue sheath dress and Roman sandals that emphasize her elegant length. She has her hair plaited into micro braids and tied back, with a few loose tendrils on either side. Shadoe is dressed like a pirate in buccaneer boots, blousy pantaloons and a pirate shirt. He’s got a scarf wrapped around his head and big gold sunglasses. Nobody seems to pay the outlandish ensemble much mind, though. The crowd knows this is one of Shadoe’s tamer ensembles. Medusa, on the other hand, is shocking out Big Willie style. She’s dressed in a sharp navy chalk stripe suit with a wide, elongated collar shirt of the slickest crimson. She has a fat Cuban cigar stuck between her bright red lips and a pinky ring that just shines with gold and diamonds. Her locks are hidden under a fedora. She flosses pure playa-style as the cameras approach her, striking a pose and stepping forward to hug Mike Whalen, her gold and diamond fronts glittering.]
Medusa: Mike Whalen, my friend, come in, come here. Just one week left and I’m back. How’s that sound? Did you miss me? I’m sure all the others did. [Winks conspiratorially.]
[Whalen shifts uncomfortably, clearing his throat.]
Whalen: Uh … well ….
Medusa: (smiling) Of course you didn’t. Who’d miss such a dreadful character, right? Mean-tempered, PMS’ing in fine style. Two steps away from true greatness one step away getting back on the edge. I’ve got to admit, it wasn’t the most pleasant time for me, either. But, I know people don’t believe me when I say this, I’ve changed my ways. I’ve studied philosophy, I’ve watched and I’ve learned. I’ve matured, Whalen. And you know how?
Medusa: Through Zen and rechanneling my energies. I’ve got a lot of dark energies. I know that. I think everybody at some point or another has felt the influence of my wrath. Well, I’ve focused that on other things, clothes, my club, sex. Outside the ring I’m living life to the fullest, you know, the storm. But inside that ring now. I can’t tell you the calm I feel.
Whalen: Will you be displaying that calm in the Survivor’s Series match? I mean, you’re teaming up with some very rough customers, aren’t you?
Medusa: (shrugging) Hey, I had no choice. That was the only slot open, right? [She tightens her grip around Whalen’s shoulders, taking a deep drag off her cigar and exhaling the cloud of aromatic, thick blue smoke.]
Now you know me. It’s better for me to wrestle with a bunch of midgets than to sit on the sidelines. I’m just not the type for that. I can’t do it. I don’t think anybody expects me to do. At least I hope they don’t. They’ll be sadly disappointed. But just because I’ll be in there with Yukon Jane, Nikita Marx, Ma Porter and somebody else who I can’t really remember doesn’t mean I’ll fall in with them. How could it? Think about it, I’m not that kind of woman, really. I have to blaze my own path. But really, I’ve been talking to Lady D when she’s over in Japan. And believe me, she won’t shut up when she’s over there, and she told me about the thrill of Cherrybomb wrestling.
She explained to me the sheer joy of not having to worry about anyone jumping you from behind. I mean she loved taking Tiffany Chandler down and apart. And I kind of got amped off the same idea. Look at Daisy Butterfly. She just busted up Micki Duran on a night when the Syndicate finally decided not to get involved in a match. I was impressed at the honor displayed there. I think it’s time we see some order restored. May Order and Daisy Butterfly are fine examples of the championship mentality. They are fine examples of patience and hard work. And no matter how long their championship reign lasts they’re going to look back at that moment and take pride in their accomplishment. That’s all I want.
You know, I’m not the young kid people think I am, right. I mean, I’m closer to 40 than 30. But I’ve been getting better with every day, I’ve been hitting my stride, I’ve been getting my peak. And I’m loving it. I really am. I don’t know. It’s like someone came down to me and just handed me the wisdom, the vision to see to this game again. I love the way it is working out, right now. I absolutely adore it. And I tell you, when I get back into that ring, you’re just going to see something amazing. Something that’s just extraordinary. Whalen, I know I’m talking a lot, but you know what I do when I wake up every morning?
[Whalen shakes his head. He doesn’t want to imagine it.]
Medusa: I sing. My heart is so free right now it’s incredible. I’ve been open and honest with myself. I’ve told myself the truth finally. And I can look deep inside and see that yes, this really is Medusa. And that’s fabulous for me.
Whalen: So, does this mean you’ve set yourself some new goals? Does this mean we’ll see you go easier on your opponents?
Medusa: Look, what it means is that when you face off against Medusa you face off against Medusa alone. Nobody else is going to run my offence for me. Nobody’s going to back jump you unless you try to back jump me. Just because I’ve retrained my thought pattern doesn’t mean I’ve become naive and it doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on anybody. The work rate and the style are bonafidely the same. I’m the Medusa that you watched all those months ago in the ring. Same style, same business. But it’s all the cheap stuff, all the bullying tactics, all the posse beat down junk that you’re not going to see. You won’t ever see me lose my temper in there again, no matter what you do. I’ve achieved a sort of patience, a philosophy. The end is what counts, not the means.
Whalen: Well, I hope this is true. I think we’ll be seeing a new trend in the GDWA if it happens. But you’ve got a wildcard in Sierra. Are you going to teach her a lesson?
[At the mention of Sierra’s name Medusa looks somewhat saddened.]
Medusa: To tell you the truth, Mike, Sierra and I have had a strain put on our relationship ever since she won both titles. I have to take responsibility for that. I filled her head with rage when I was training her and now the poisonous weeds have sprouted. She’s hurting right now, Whalen. I can feel her pain, but she won’t let anyone in. And Dal isn’t helping by feeding into her sadistic streak. Sierra is in deep trouble. She’s going to snap and really hurt somebody or hurt herself. I’m telling you. She’s lost her center because she’s convinced herself that the GDWA is out to get her. She’s put the opinion of others above her opinion of herself and she’s striking out. I hope she’ll find it in her to calm down before it’s too late, before she does something terrible. I’ll be there for her, but I don’t know what I can really do to help. I can just say to Sierra that I pray for you to find a peace of mind and that I love you, girl. You just have to come home by yourself now. All right. Mike, I wanted this to end on a happy note. You had to go and spoil it, didn’t you? Cut the camera off. I’ve got to get my joy back.
[Fade out with Medusa walking back into the darkness, the shadows closing over her until she disappears.]
Dunbar: I though Medusa was ecstatic over Sierra’s win.
Blade: Yes, perhaps that first win to become the champ and to attain the titles…but now their relationship is rather tenuous. Unanswered phone calls, contact via third parties…there truly is no Age of Rage to speak of.
Mutt: Well, they both still kick ass. That’s the bottom line, right?
Dunbar: Fans, we return to Savannah Charles now. It was revealed on Tuesday night that Kevin Taylor was the manager of Savannah. And those of you who frequent the Andrea Chandler webpage know that Taylor pretty much introduced Andrea to this sport. With an in depth interview, let’s go to KT and the 1997 Wrestler of the Year Andrea Chandler…
(The scene opens on a lush green park; the camera follows a jogging “Southern Steel” Savannah Charles as she hustles between brilliant fuchsia crepe myrtle bushes and blue hydrangeas, the curves of her tall, strong body rippling and highlighted with sweat. Her thick red hair is bound into a ponytail which bounces in rhythm with her footfalls. She wears skintight orange Lycra short-shorts, and a perspiration-soaked “HOOTERS” half-tee, the white cotton molding to her full, firm chest. Her right knee is wrapped tightly, and she treads gingerly on it.
The camera pans over to show Kevin Taylor, her manager, dressed in a red- and-white “STANFORD UNIVERSITY” tank top and sweats, holding a clipboard and stopwatch, watching Savannah. He stands around 6’4″, and his loose apparel does little to disguise his muscular athleticism. His dark hair is cut close and combed into perfect position. Savannah picks up her pace for the last few yards, quads pumping as she conquers a low incline. Kevin clicks the top of the stopwatch as she passes him, then jogs back.)
Kevin: Not bad. Five miles in your usual time. How’s the knee?
Savannah: (Slightly out of breath, she bends over at the waist, then pulls herself back upright.) It’s okay. A little stiff, but nothin’ I ain’t felt before. Won’t keep me outta trainin’, that’s for sure.
Kevin: I’m really proud of you, Savannah. You hung in there against a beltholder and a major-league dirty player, and you beat her. You took her best shots, got back up, and won the game.
Savannah: (She smiles, and shrugs.) No problem. It went like we planned, right down to the finish. Funny thing is, she ain’t even seen one’a my finishers yet.
Kevin: Well…I fumbled the ball in a few places. I didn’t anticipate her sucker shot with the belt, and that kept you on your heels for a while. And we’ll need to work on countering that Stone Cold Stunner out of a military press.
Savannah: (She seats herself on the ground, and drops into a splits position. Stretching over toward one foot, she says,) Sure. I got some ideas there that we can try later.
Kevin: Okay, be honest with me about something. After that first High Sierra elbowdrop, how hurt were you? She pulled you up and —
Savannah: That’s what SHE thinks. Don’t worry, it hurt, but I coulda kicked out. She yanked me up before I had to. I wasn’t near worn out enough to take a pin at that point. But even so, you can add “stupid” to her list of weaknesses.
Kevin: I doubt she’ll do that again, especially since you defeated her. But I’m glad that you felt like you were still in the game — the extra abdominal work really paid off. (He crouches beside her as she brings her legs forward, and continues her stretching.) I’m sorry I didn’t get out there faster. I let you down. I underestimated just how ruthless she’s become.
Savannah: (She pats him on the shoulder.) Ever’body did. You got nothin’ to apologize for. It wasn’t like you were out there beatin’ on my leg, for cryin’ out loud.
Kevin: No, but…I felt so helpless. I mean, these idiotic league rules, they wouldn’t let me assist you. They’d rather their wrestlers get hurt than let a man stop that kind of behavior. We need to make sure somebody that can act directly is down there with you, or you’ll be too exposed.
Savannah: Well…I got an idea there, too.
Kevin: What’s that?
Savannah: (She smiles, then reclines on the grass and drapes her hurt leg over his knees.) Massage me and I’ll fill you in.
Kevin: (He chuckles, then sits and slowly rubs her knee with his strong fingers.) Better?
Savannah: (She moans, and pulls her arms behind her head, shifting to get more comfortable.) Much. Okay, here’s how I see it….
(The camera pulls back, and the view fades.)
(The view opens on a green chalkboard, over which is written “THE COACH’S CLIPBOARD”, upon which several football and basketball formations have been detailed in X’s and O’s. Kevin Taylor is seated to one side on a tall padded stool, dressed in a tailored Armani suit and carrying his heavy metal clipboard. An empty stool is situated a few feet to his left. He looks up at the camera and smiles.)
Kevin: Good day, everybody, and welcome to the Coach’s Clipboard. I’m your host, Kevin Taylor, manager of “Southern Steel,” Savannah Charles. The Clipboard is where I offer my commentary on the state of things in the Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance, and interview the GDWA’s top personalities. Before I get to my first-ever guest, I’d like to mention a few things that are on my mind. For starters, congratulations are in order for Daisy Butterfly, who took the Internet Title from arguably its finest representative, Micki Duran. Two things I’d like to offer: first, wear it well, Daisy. Defend it with pride and defend it often. Second, don’t think for an instant that Duran is off your tail. She’s had a lot of gold in her career, and she’ll be hungry for another chance at that strap. I think a rematch is definitely in order, and would prove a sterling addition to the Fall Moonsault, if nowhere else.
My next item involves the match between my charge, Savannah, and the “Golden Girl,” Sierra Browne. I won’t diminish Sierra’s fantastic athletic ability, but the nature of the behavior of her and her so-called “manager,” Dalbello Rage, is inexcusable. Sierra should have been disqualified from the opening bell for use of her belt as a foreign object, and if the GDWA board of directors and Denmark Vessey don’t take severe action against both of them for their flagrant transgression, I will file a personal grievance. Crimes like that detract from any semblance of sportsmanship our profession presumes to have, and there’s no place for it. It’s time the GDWA took a serious stance on this matter before someone suffers a serious — and pointless — injury. If it happens in the ring, during the match, that’s one thing. But post-match attacks are the very thing that lead to gang warfare and an escalation of violence that nobody needs.
Finally, related to this, I absolutely insist that the board of directors modify its policy regarding acceptable actions for male managers in clearly criminal situations. After the match, I was forced to watch as Savannah was overwhelmed, and had I not managed to summon extra security, security that should have been in place the whole time, who knows what might have happened. I find the administration’s regulations on this strongly lacking, and demand they be amended to permit managers like myself to at least defend their charges without fear of expulsion. President Vessey, I await your ruling on these matters, as do many other concerned parties here, no doubt.
That said, allow me to introduce my first guest to the Clipboard. Please welcome none other than former GDWA world’s champion and current number one contender, Andrea Chandler.
(Andrea walks in from off-camera, smiling; she’s clad in a body-hugging black mini, cut low to display an ample amount of cleavage, lace-topped hose, long evening gloves, and a diamond-studded black choker. Her sunglasses reflect the studio lights as she stops before Kevin and extends her hand elegantly. He unseats himself and gently squeezes her fingers.)
Kevin: Good to see you again, Andrea. You’re looking well.
Andrea: Thank you.
(He waits for her to be seated, then returns to his stool as she crosses her powerful legs.)
Kevin: To begin with, not everyone is aware that I used to manage you some years ago, back in the heyday of the New England Wrestling Alliance.
Andrea: Yes, those were fabulous times. I’d been wrestling for a few months, and you approached me about becoming my manager. I wasn’t really interested at first, but you persisted, and it worked quite well. The day I left, I held both singles titles and was co-owner of the tag championships.
Kevin: What persuaded you to take on my management?
Andrea: Well, I was impressed by your knowledge of training and strategy, foremostly. But you also struck me as SUCH a nice guy, and I have a weakness for that. Much like your weakness for bad girls.
Kevin: (Clears his throat.) Um, well, it wasn’t that so much as I recognized your tremendous potential —
Andrea: That wasn’t all you recognized. (She uncrosses her legs, then re-crosses them the opposite way.)
Kevin: (Coughs, then looks over the items on his clipboard.) After we parted ways, you went on to the Electronic Women’s Wrestling Alliance, where you met up with the Kingpin himself, Christopher Bell. You didn’t miss a step, and were that federation’s number one contender before it folded. How did the change in managerial styles affect you?
Andrea: Well, not drastically, really, because Chris allows his charges to train in whatever style suits her. In fact, I daresay I brought an increased emphasis on pre-match strategy to him. But his primary strength is that he lets his wrestlers be themselves. That’s where you and I differed, you know. You emphasize sportsmanship and all that fuzzy nonsense, whereas I just like to show everyone that I’m the best wrestler ever.
Kevin: I won’t argue that you’re certainly as good as any I’ve ever met, but don’t you think you’re being premature in declaring yourself the best ever?
Andrea: No. I’m the richest, I’m the smartest, and I’m the best. No one’s yet shown me that I’m wrong.
Kevin: Just be careful, Andrea. I’ve seen too many talents like yourself go from the penthouse to the outhouse in a matter of a single match. Don’t take anything for granted.
Andrea: That’s sweet of you. Still looking out for me after all this time.
Kevin: Switching focus a bit, Sierra Browne’s been calling your name lately. Care to comment?
Andrea: Not particularly, except to say that she’s proving to everyone that she’s a total joke as the GDWA’s first “bi-titled champion.” She’s collected a couple of meaningless belts and has to resort to the cheapest tactics possible to maintain them. And it didn’t even help her against that redneck roughhouser last night, what was her name? Sarena…Savilla….
Kevin: (Smiling slightly.) Come on, Andrea. You know Savannah’s name as well as your own.
Andrea: Yes, Savannah, that’s it. In spite of everything, Sierra still wound up the loser. Which, of course, is truer to her nature.
Kevin: Do you foresee a match between the two of you anytime soon?
Andrea: No. She has nothing I want. She can shout my name all she likes, but the fact is that I’m better, she knows I’m better, and I’m through playing with second-rate talent.
Kevin: It sounds like you’re planning something big.
Andrea: Yes. I’ve laid low for long enough, beating rookies and mid-carders since that travesty at Founder’s Day. (She turns to the camera.) Officer May Order, I know you’re out there. Listen to me. I am the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER in this fed. I have called you, I have written you, I have even sent you e-mail, but it’s all gone unanswered. No more. I am demanding a shot for my belt.
Have you forgotten how I beat you, May? How I locked you into the Dividend and made you submit for the first time ever? How did that feel, your knee and back exploding in pain as I bore down, helpless save for the charity of the official granting your release? Of course you remember. That’s why I’ve heard nothing back. You’re afraid, May. Afraid that so soon after winning my title that you won’t be permitted to hold it for any length of time. For that matter, we’ve rarely even heard from you since your victory. Do we have to go through this again? A silent, passive champion determined to meet the minimum standard? The only way you’ll gain any kind of respect is if you face the *best*, May. And *I* am the hands-down best wrestler in Grand Dragon. So don’t swerve me, dear. Let’s make a date. Soon.
Kevin: Strong words.
Andrea: I can back them up. You and everyone knows that.
Kevin: And on that, we close the show. I’d like to thank you all for watching, and special thanks to Andrea Chandler for participating. It’s been a pleasure.
Andrea: The pleasure’s all mine. Are you free for dinner?
Kevin: Um…that wouldn’t be a good idea. Savannah still wants to kill you.
Andrea: She’ll get over it, she always does. (She takes his hand, and pulls him from his stool.) Come, let’s talk.
(She leads him off the set, and the view fades.)
Blade: Andrea Chandler REALLY wants Double O…is the fall Moonsault too far away for the #1 contender?
Mutt: Hell yeah! She’s a former World Champ! And since Praecox will be out of action for another month or so…it’s only logical to give the title shot to the woman who NEVER got a rematch!!
Dunbar: Be that as it may, Sierra Browne also wants a crack at the World Title…and she wants a crack at Andrea as well.
Mutt: I love Browne. You know this, man! But Andrea is the best in the World, hands down!! And you aren’t being honest with yourself if you disagree.
Dunbar: Fans, that’s all for tonight. We’ll see you this time next week. Take care, and watch all the action on the Tuesday Night Catfight.