Scene opens up on a jammed packed US Air Arena in Washington, D.C. There are 21,701 screaming fans in attendance. “Atomic Dog” by Parliament starts blaring through the speakers. The fans erupt with a standing ovation, the camera zooms in on the east side of the ring, where a whole section of fans are wearing dog masks and barking at the camera as it passes them by. This section is known as “THE DAWG POUND” and this is……..
GRAND DRAGON WRESTLING ALLIANCE
Bishop: Hello everyone, I’m Allen Bishop along with my broadcast partner Sam Mutt. And this is the Tuesday Night Cat Fight. The GDWA Summer Super Tour just seems to get better and better. We have a huge card for you tonight. 1 championship match, 2 tag matches and a host of great other draws.
Mutt: It’s getting hotter and hotter the closer we get to the Fall Moonsault! I just can’t wait. The competition is really getting riled up. I mean, Daisy and Nikita the other night almost blew the House down. But the heat between Officer Order and Sachie Yokoyama was unbelievable!
Bishop: Speaking of Officer Order, she defends her Western Heritage title against Valkyrie tonight! It’s the first time the two of them have EVER squared off. Should be a great one.
Mutt: Hey Bishop, don’t forget the rest of the card. You’ve got the premier of the Shadow Warriors as they take on the Browne Girls. You’ve got other tag action when the Misfits take on the Hyena Queens. Now back to Singles competition, we’ve got the ‘The Legend’ Micki Duran vs ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda, and the “Vindicator” Kirsten Dunst vs Andrea Chandler.
Bishop: A whole lot of new talent hear this week. Let’s see if they can hang in the Dragon. The tag action is getting furious the closer we get to the big pay per view. I can hardly wait!
Bishop: Starting off tonight, we have the undefeated Andrea Chandler taking on newcomer ‘Vindicator’ Kirsten Dunst.
(View is of a dank crypt, with an oaken coffin illuminated by nearby torchlight. A light mist roils about at floor level. The coffin slowly begins to open with a creak, and rising up from within is Andrea Chandler, dressed in her usual ring attire and a sweeping black cloak. She smiles, revealing a pair of gleaming white fangs.)
Andrea: As I’m facing someone who so admirably portrayed a creature of the night in a recent hit movie, I thought I’d pay appropriate respects. Graduating from the silver screen to the wrestling ring, Miss Dunst? Expect to be a wrestling superstar? Let me disabuse you of that notion. (Andrea sweeps the cape back, and flexes her powerful body.) Kirsten, after we wrestle, and I suck the life right out of you, the only review you’re going to get… is a thumbs down. Flee to the backlot while you still can, little girl! – –
Bishop: Spud’s in the ring now, let’s get to the action….
Andrea Chandler vs. Kristen Dunst
Spud: Ladies and Gentleman of our nation’s capital. Wrestling fans from all across the country…Let’s Get Rrrrrrready to Rrrrrrrumble!!!!!
(Fans cheer as horns go off & Spud McKenzie stands poised in the ring.)
Spud: Our first contest tonight is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit.
(Fans boo as they hear ‘Cold Blood’ by Kix.)
Spud: Accompanied down the aisle by her manager the Kingpin, and ‘the Legend’ Micki Duran! Representing the Syndicate, she is 5 feet 7 inches, 142 pounds, here is…..Andrea Chandler!
(Fans boo as she saunters down the aisle arrogantly.)
Bishop: This woman, such a spectacular athlete. Just with the wrong attitude. Incredibly strong, gifted with loads of talent. She really doesn’t have to cheat.
Mutt: You’re missing the point Bishop! She cheats because she can. End of story. Let’s hear the introductions for the job…I mean the other wrestler.
(Fans cheer as they hear ‘The Show must go on’ by Queen’)
Spud: And her opponent, led down the aisle by her manager Jason Payne! From Peoria, Illinois….she is 5 feet 7 inches, 157 pounds! Making her Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance debut, here is the ‘Vindicator’ Kristen Dunst!!!
(Fans all cheering as she slaps the hands of fans and talks things over with her parents who are at ringside.)
Bishop: What a role model. She is a great talent who will be more than a handful for Andrea. Vindicator enters the ring and this one is all but underway.
Mutt: We’ll see what this Vindicator has. Andrea Chandler is wearing the black bodybuilder’s bikini with rhinestone trim. Kirsten Dunst is wearing the Silver and Green singlet. They come out of the corners now, and lock up.
Bishop: Andrea with that great strength, powering the Vindicator back into her corner and….slaps her in the face! What arrogance. The ref intervening, and Andrea Chandler backing off and flexing off.
Mutt: Ha! I love this big woman. Demonica and Ma Porter just may have a rival in the strength department. Just look at those triceps and biceps.
Bishop: Andrea and Kirsten lock up again and Kirsten slapping on a Side Headlock, now a quick go behind and a Waistlock takedown! Andrea back up and THE KIRSTEN DUNST SLAPS *HER* IN THE FACE!
(Big crowd pop!)
Mutt: Andrea Chandler back up and another lock up, but the Vindicator with an Armdrag Takedown! Chandler up once more and the Vindicator with a Karate Chop!
Bishop: The Vindicator with more Karate Chops to the chest, and Chandler is backing up. The Vindicator Kirsten Dunst now, Irish Whipping Chandler to the far side. Chandler bounces off and a Belly to Belly Suplex! Chandler back up again and an Armdrag Takedown!
Mutt: And look how smart Andrea Chandler is. Reminiscent of the World Champion Zaranna. She’s rolling out of the ring and consulting with the Kingpin. The Kingpin seems a little frustrated, but I’m sure they’ll work all of this out.
Spud: 5 minutes have gone by in the 15 minute time limit. 10 remaining.
Bishop: Chandler rolling back in the ring, and the Vindicator with an immediate Armdrag Takedown into an Armbar! I think Andrea Chandler underestimated the Vindicator. It’s been all Kirsten Dunst till now.
Mutt: Chandler having about enough of the Vindicator’s non sense. She’s back up to her feet with a big right hand….
Bishop: ….and Kirsten Dunst locking the arms for a backslid….but can’t get her over!!! Andrea Chandler with great power, reversing the backslide pin combination. The Vindicator sliding down, and her shoulders are pinned! 1……2…..kick out.
Mutt: Both women back up to the neutral position and Chandler with a Clothesline! Chandler now, with a pick up and drapes the Vindicator over her shoulder….AND A RUNNING POWERSLAM!
(Fans boo as Kirsten Dunst cringes on the mat.)
Bishop: Andrea Chandler back up, backs into the ropes, bounces off and nails the Vindicator with a Kneedrop! Now a spinning Toe Hold and the Vindicator is hurt.
Mutt: Chandler now, spinning on the leg and falling back hard on it! Man that had to hurt! The Vindicator crawling for the ropes and the ref forcing Chandler away. Chandler with a pick up and Irish Whips, no, reversal!
Bishop: Andrea Chandler sent to the far side, bounces off and gets nailed with a High Back Body Drop! Kirsten real slow reacting. Andrea Chandler already on her feet, AND KIRSTEN DUNST SNEAKING UP AND EXECUTING A BEAUTFUL SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!
(Fans all cheering as Kirsten Dunst slowly flips her over for the cover.)
Ref: 1….2…kick out!
Spud: 10 minutes have gone by in the 15 minute time limit. 5 remaining.
Bishop: Kirsten Dunst with a pickup and a Front Face Lock. She’s a lot stronger than she let on! Andrea trying to break out of it, and Kirsten with a High Knee into her face! Chandler doubles over and the Vindicator slaps on a Front Face Lock and executes a Fisherman’s Buster!!!!
(Fans all cheering!)
Mutt: The cover! 1….2…kick out. Kirsten now, with a pickup and a skin snapping Karate Chop to the chest! Andrea looks out on her feet. Kirsten Dunst now, pointing to all the fans!!!
(Fans all cheering as she Irish Whips Andrea Chandler to the far ropes.)
Bishop: Andrea Chandler bounces off the ropes and….CONNECTS WITH A TILT A WHIRL SLAM! Andrea Chandler now, quickly with a Double Leg pick up and Grapevining the legs. Oh no!
Mutt: Yes! She flips Dunst over and sinks into the Dividend Scorpion Deathlock!!!!!
(Fans all cheering as Kirsten Dunst refuses to submit.)
Bishop: The referee checking and the Vindicator shaking her head. But how long can she hold out?
Mutt: It’s been 20 seconds, and she still hasn’t quit! Andrea is 140 pounds of muscle. She’s gotta quit in front of her family, in front of her manager, in front of God himself.
Bishop: She won’t budge. 40 seconds and Chandler is nodding with a smile. She knows she’s got her. Dunst crying out in pain, and the ref doesn’t know what to do. He’s calling for the bell!
Mutt: Did she give?
Bishop: I don’t know? Let’s hear from Spud McKenzie…
Spud: Wrestling fans, at 12 minutes 43 seconds, by referee’s decision! Your winner is……Andrea Chandler!
Bishop: The ref may have saved this young woman’s career. Chandler with another win. What guts on the part of Kirsten Dunst. Jason Payne immediately charging the ring to check on his wrestler. This one is over fans.
(Fans boo as they hear ‘Cold Blood’ by Kix.)
Mutt: Guts gives you respect, but it don’t pay the bills. Hey, I’m outta hear while you and Congo to the tag matches. But wait! I got 5 on the Evil Empire, see. Just palm this in Rage’s pocket and…
Bishop: Will you get outta here!
(Crowd boos as “Congo” Paul Roberts walks down the aisle to the broadcast table)
Bishop: Joining me again tonight for our back-to-back tag team matches is the infamous “Congo” Paul Roberts. Congo, it’s good to have you back out here.
Congo: Get off your knees, Bishop! The fans at ringside and those joining us via television all know that we are not the buddy-buddy team you want us to appear as.
Bishop: Right. Anyway, we had some tremendous action last week as we saw the tag ranks explode! Medusa Rage, the recipient of a vicious attack at the hands of the Syndicate is back with us tonight, with her Browne Girls and also debuting a team comprised of her sisters, the Misfits.
Congo: That’s true, Bishop. I take back any ill words I may have said about Ms. Rage; that woman proved last week that she has moxie. Tonight, we’ll get to see two more members of the Rage family mix it up in what will prove to be no small skirmish against the Hyena Queens.
Bishop: Word has it that the Queens are real tag team specialists. Both of these teams stack up perfectly against each other, another Grand Dragon classic-in-the-making. But first, we’ll see the Browne Girls return to the ring, fresh off a tag victory over Strike and Sierra’s intense rematch against big Andrea Chandler. The Brownes are surely on a roll.
Congo: But that streak could end here tonight. The Brownes must face the Shadow Warriors, the tandem of Valkyrie and an unknown partner who so viciously rolled out the welcome wagon for Ms. Blackjack Belmonte. The Evil Empire is on the verge of dominating the GDWA once again, now that they’ve dropped that bothersome blimp Praecox.
Bishop: You might want to watch what you say about Praecox. From her own admission, she just may show up here at ringside in the near future.
Bishop: Spud is in the ring and he’s all set for the intros!
Shadow Warriors vs. Browne Girls
Spud: Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest is scheduled for tag team action, with a 15 minute time-limit!
(Fans boo loudly as they hear New Order’s “True Faith”)
Spud: At a combined weight of 262lbs and accompanied to the ring by Vlad the Impaler; first, from Des Moines, Iowa, at 5’8″ and 129lbs; VALKYRIE!! Her partner, hailing from parts unknown and measuring in at 5’7″, 133lbs; she is…….she is……..
(Spud gives up trying to name the other Shadow Warrior as the trio walk out to ringside. Valkyrie struts confidently to the ring wearing her kimono and carrying her bamboo stick, while the other woman is dressed completely in black and wears a mask completely hiding her identity. Vlad walks behind the duo, looking as sinister as ever.)
Spud: Ummm….THE SHADOW WARRIORS!!
Congo: It looks like Spud is really left at a loss for words. And so am I. My question is why Vlad is so fascinated with Madame Hecate? Forget about that bag, look at that stunner he’s got under his tutelage!
Bishop: You’re really digging a hole for yourself tonight with Hecate’s camp. This match will definitely prove to be a real enigma. We know Valkyrie is a sensational single’s wrestler and that the Brownes are on top of the tag game. The swing here is that masked woman. What does she bring to the table?
Congo: We’ll see, shortly.
Spud: And, their opponents….
(Cheers fill the arena as “Brown Girl in the Ring” bangs through the PA)
Spud: Accompanied to the ring by the sisters Rage and weighing in at a combined 280lbs. At 5’10” 140lbs, SIERRA BROWNE! At an identical 5’10” and 140lbs, INDIGO BROWNE! Ladies and gentlemen, THE BROWNE GIRLS!!
(Sierra and Indigo run along either side of the aisle, slapping hands with all the fans around the ring. Medusa Rage, flanked by her sisters Dalbello and Godiva, collectively the Misfits, take their time getting to the ring, plotting the whole way down.)
Bishop: It looks as if Medusa found out the hard way how the game is played in the GDWA, and decide that re-enforcements were in line.
Congo: If she would have brought her sisters in immediately and not wasted time with the Brownes, she wouldn’t have had a problem with the Syndicate. Those two look more than capable at holding their own here.
Bishop: The Misfits, showing up to ringside a good 15 minutes early. Both teams in the ring. Valkyrie handing over her robe and stick to Vlad, it’ll be her and Indigo Browne starting off.
Congo: Speed and agility being the ante at this table. Both ladies bouncing of the ropes and the match has yet to officially begin.
Bishop: VALKYRIE RIGHT AWAY WITH A SPINWHEEL KICK!! A pick up and she Irish Whips Indigo Browne to the ropes. Indigo leap frogs Valkyrie, ready for the back body drop, and comes back off the far side! Valkyrie drops down and gets back up as Indigo passes her again…CROSS BODY BLOCK BY INDIGO!! A cover! 1…..KICKOUT!!
Congo: Did she really think that Valkyrie would be ready to give after one hit? Get a clue, Browne!!
Bishop: Indigo with a pickup and a Fireman’s carry…VALKYRIE DROPS BEHIND HER AND ROLLS HER UP WITH A SUNSET FLIP!! 1….2…..KICKOUT!!
Congo: Valkyrie back up to her feet and she’s already coming off the ropes! Indigo up and back down, Valkyrie leaping over her, coming off the other side and A KICK TO THE BACK BY SIERRA BROWNE, OUT ON THE APRON!! C’MON REF!! DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!
Bishop: The ref having a few words with Sierra as Indigo capitalizes with a double axhandle to Valkyrie’s back. Indigo brings her down to her hands and knees and delivers an on-target Corkscrew Elbow right to her spine!!
(Crowd cheers as Valkyrie hits the mat)
Congo: The masked one is out there stomping on the apron. She wants in on these girls!! A tag is made amongst the Brownes and Sierra is in!
(Crowd pops as Sierra gets in the ring)
Bishop: The fans are really growing to love this young lady. She’s already leading the crowd on in cheering!!
Congo: What she SHOULD be doing is attacking Valkyrie. Not only is she one of the fastest women in the league, but one of the most resilient. I’ve seen her take shots that would sideline a lesser woman and dish out more pain.
Bishop: Sierra picking up Valkyrie by her hair and VALKYRIE UNLOADS A FLURRY OF PUNCHES TO SIERRA’S GUT!! Sierra doubles over and VALKYRIE WITH A STANDING DROPKICK!! WoW!!
Congo: Sierra flew right back into her own corner, she looks winded and angry. A charge by Sierra and a Back Body Drop by Valkyrie!! C’mon ol’ girl, give it to her!! Sierra stands up and GETS NAILED BY A FLYING FOREARM!! THAT’S WHAT CHEERLEADING GETS YOU!!
(Dawg pound Woofs for Valkyrie as the rest of the arena groans)
Congo: A tag by Valkyrie and the Masked Woman is in. This is what we’ve wanted to see. She stands Sierra up and BLASTS HER WITH A SUPERKICK SQUARE ON HER CHIN!! SIERRA GOES THROUGH THE ROPES!!
(Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!)
Bishop: The ref having words with the masked woman and Vlad, on the outside, goes to hit Sierra with the stick!! Wait! The Rages are standing right there, giving Vlad a…..”disapproving” look.
Spud: 5 minutes have gone by in the 15 minute time limit. 10 minutes remain.
Congo: The ref goes to the rope and begins the count. Bishop, I know who this lady is!! It’s gotta be Supergirl!!
Bishop: Of course, Congo. Sierra rolls back in, a bit worse for wear, and is greeted by having her head slapped between the masked one’s thighs–POWERBOMB!! The count….1……..2………….th… KICKOUT BY SIERRA BROWNE!!
(Crowd cheers on Browne)
Congo: Unrelenting, the masked one picks up Sierra and bodyslams her, following the drop with a Kneedrop to the face!! Ooooooh, hardcore!! Another cover! 1……..2……..SAVE BY INDIGO BROWNE!! Indigo backed into her corner by the ref and Medusa Rage drags Sierra out of the ring!! What the hell, this is not wrestling!!
Bishop: Mask follows her outside and gives her a big boot in the gut!! With a handful of Sierra’s hair, she RUNS HER INTO *AND OVER* THE RINGSIDE GUARD RAIL!!
(Dawg Pound erupts!)
Congo: Ref goes for the count and Supergirl back in, getting in the ref’s face. VALKYRIE RUNS OFF THE APRON AND CRASHES INTO SIERRA WITH A FLYING DROPKICK!!!!!
(Dawg pound *REALLY* goes crazy as the arena gasps!)
Congo: DID YOU SEE THAT!!! VALKYRIE LEAPS OVER THE BARRIER, PUTTING HERSELF AND THE SLOWFOOTED GDWA FANS AT RINGSIDE IN JEOPARDY IN ORDER TO DELIEVER THE DEATH’S KNELL!! SIERRA HAS GOT TO BE OUT OF IT!!
Bishop: Medusa and Vlad both run over to the disaster area!! The masked woman goes out there too as Dalbello Rage runs over to Indigo and pulls her aside!
Congo: What the hell is going on!! The ref is counting now as Medusa hoists Sierra back over the rail and drags her towards the ring!! Vlad jumps over the rail to check on Valkyrie, who looks to have hit her head as she jumped. The masked woman running in and stomping on Sierra’s head!!
Ref: 3…………………………..4………………………… …
Bishop: Dalbello screams out at the ref! She runs into the ring and grabs the ref!! She’s telling him something about an injury, claiming that Indigo was subject to an illegal head shot!!
Congo: What!?! Indigo looks just as confused as the rest of us as the ref takes a look at the back of her head. AND ON THE OUTSIDE, GODIVA RAGE HAMMERS THE MASKED WARRIOR WITH A CHAIR!! She rolls under the ring and pulls the masked woman’s feet under there with her!! SHE’S OUT COLD AND MEDUSA ROLLS SIERRA BACK INTO THE RING!! BOTH LEGAL WOMEN ARE UNCONCIOUS!!
Bishop: And Dalbello shoos the referee away from Indigo!! Indigo still confused, she’s unsure what has just happened. The ref back over and keep counting away as the Shadow Warriors both lay on the outside!!
Congo: Mask starting to stir BUT SHE CAN’T GET TO HER FEET!! IT’S LIKE SHE’S BEING HELD UNDER THE RING!! VLAD HELPING VALKYRIE UP… THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!!!
Congo: MASK YANKING FREE BUT IT’S TOO LATE!!!
Congo: AND VLAD RUSHES TO THE MASKED WOMAN’S SIDE AND SWINGS UNDER THE RING WITH THAT BAMBOO CANE!!! HE’S SWINGING WILDLY AS GODIVA RAGE CRAWLS OUT THE OTHER SIDE, SMILING DEVIOUSLY!!
Spud: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, at 6:27; THE BROWNE GIRLS!!!
(Crowd cheers as “Browne Girl in the Ring” cues up on the PA)
Congo: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!! THIS IS THE BIGGEST DAMN TRAVESTY IN GDWA HISTORY!! HOW CAN THOSE FANS CHEER ON THOSE CHEATING TALENTLESS CHATTEL!!
Bishop: By looking at Indigo and the semi-conscious Sierra Browne, they don’t even know what has happened here tonight!! All they know is that they have gotten their second win here in the Grand Dragon. Indigo helping Sierra back down the aisle as the Rage family enter the ring. Vlad, on the outside, yelling threats out at the ref and banging away at the apron with that stick of his. The Shadow Warriors are headed back down the aisle as well. They definitely had this match locked up.
Congo: They did indeed. I think the Brownes should be expelled from the GDWA ranks. Such blatant rulebreaking on their parts.
Bishop: Perhaps Vlad chose to throw in the towel, sparing Valkyrie from losing her title shot tonight due to injury? Blatant rulebreaking on the part of the Misfits, who we’ll get to see in our next match!
Bishop: Before we get to the match though, let’s hear some comments from the Misfits regarding their opponents the Hyena Queens….
Medusa Rage & The Misfits
[The scene opens inside a run-down, roughneck gym. The Misfits and Medusa Rage are working out. Godiva Rage is on the bench press, Dalbello is working out her abs by doing crunches with a 25lbs weight.]
Dalbello: Angela Bassett and Terry McMillen? The Hyena Queens? Hmm, I don’t know what that’s all about, Medusa, but put them in the ring with us.
Godiva (in a thick cockney accent): Really, who told those dolly birds to sign up against us? We sound like rejects from the high school cheerleader squad? This coming from women whose whole gimmick I suppose comes from scavenging African dogs?
Medusa: Remember, forget the names of your opponents. This is a very difficult match you’re going in to. We haven’t scouted them. We haven’t got any data, yet.
Godiva (scoffing): Listen, if your two Browne Girls can find a way to win around here then I’m sure we can too. In fact, I know we’ll be champions in a matter of minutes.
Dalbello (laughing as she does a static hold): Let’s not get too hasty, ‘diva. Ducey’s right, we don’t know what we’re up against.
Godiva: I guess we’ll just ‘ave to ‘old our breath an’ see, what?
Dalbello: We’ll be waiting to exhale!
[Both Misfits break down into peals of laughter as they go back to work. Medusa simply shakes her head as she digs out a cellular phone.]
Medusa: Indigo, you and Sierra better be working out now. Look, I’ve got a plan….
The Misfits vs. Hyena Queens
Spud: Ladies and gentlemen, the next contest is the second half of our tag team double header!!
(Another big cheer from the crowd. “Listen Up” by the Misfits fills the ears of the fans)
Spud: Already in the ring, with their manager Medusa Rage, at a combined weight of 308 lbs. At 5’8″ and 150 lbs., from Halifax, Nova Scotia; “Ms. Perfect” DALBELLO RAGE!! At 5’6″ and 158 lbs., from London, England; GODIVA RAGE!! THE MISFITS!!
Bishop: Mixed response from the crowd. After that last match, they aren’t too sure about this duo.
Congo: Honestly, I’m not sure what to make of them. They can pull the Brownes out of the fire, but can they do the same for themselves?
Spud: And….their opponents….
(Crowd stands and cranes their necks as Guns ‘N Roses “Welcome To The Jungle” blasts through the speakers)
Spud: Weighing in at a combined total of 272 lbs. First, from Pine Bluff, Arkansas at 5’6″ and 137 lbs., “POWERBOMB” ANGELA BASSETT!! Her partner, measuring 5’5″ and 135lbs, from Chicago, Il; “THE TECHNICIAN” TERRY MCMILLEN!! They are THE HYENA QUEENS!!!
Bishop: Hmmm, those names sound a bit familiar. Where have I heard those names before?
Congo: Forget that, look at those sharp robes that they wear! Black and red with that Hyena fur trim; these ladies aren’t simply out to identify with Hyenas; they want to be Hyenas!!
Bishop: Medusa Rage is back out on the outside as the two teams size each other up. Powerbomb goes to the apron and so does Godiva. It looks like the two more technical of the teams will be starting things out.
Congo: And look at them get all up in each other’s faces!! Heat, heat, heat!!
Bishop: A collar-and-elbow tie-up and Dalbello breaks and arm loose and starts working on the Technician with body blows!! Backs her near the Hyena Queen’s corner and a quick tag to Powerbomb. Technician slings Dalbello to the far side, snags her with a Drop Toe Hold and POWERBOMB SLINGSHOTS OVER THE ROPE WITH AN ELBOWDROP TO HER UPPER BACK!!
(Fans cheer at the early display of teamwork)
Bishop: A pick-up by Powerbomb and she pushes her into her corner. A flurry of European Uppercuts by Powerbomb and DALBELLO FIGHTS BACK WITH THOSE DEVASTATING BODY BLOWS!!
Congo: She works her way out of the corner and TECHNICIAN WITH A BULLDOG OFF THE TOP ROPE!! Medusa is yelling on the outside and the ref assures her that a tag was made!
Bishop: Amazing. Technician is working on Dalbello’s neck and back with a sort of Half-Camel clutch. A side Chinlock and a knee firmly between Rage’s shoulder blades. Now, a go around by McMillen as she tries to hook the clutch in…..but Rage powers out. Both wrestlers back up to their feet and another tie-up. Dalbello Irish Whips McMillen to the ropes AND GODIVA RAGE TUGS THE ROPES DOWN!! TECHNICIAN FLIPS TO THE OUTSIDE!!
Congo: The ref yelling at someone, but no one is paying him heed. Godiva, on the outside, yanks McMillen back to her feet JUST IN TIME TO GET A BASEBALL SLIDE KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD FROM DALBELLO!! Both Rage sisters now grab a handful of hair and THEY ARE RUNNING OUR WAY!!………………..
(A LOUD crash as both Terry McMillen and Godiva Rage crash into the broadcaster’s table and disrupt broadcast audio. The Dawg Pound erupts as Allen Bishop and “Congo” Paul Roberts fall to the floor and scramble for their headphone mics as Godiva and McMillen slug it out right in front of the table.
Up in the ring, “Powerbomb” Bassett runs into the ring as Dalbello Rage rolls back in. Bassett Irish Whips Rage into the ref, who is knock out cold)
Bishop: Fans…….we’re back……it appears that this match is rapidly spinning out of control. The ref is down in the ring, knocked cold by accident, as a donnybrook erupts right in front of our table.
Congo: Big Godiva seems to be a bit fazed by the Technician’s chops. Up on the apron, Dalbello has a front facelock on an inside Powerbomb. She hoists her up….no, she can’t get her; Powerbomb with the lift…no, SHE can’t get HER! Another lift by Dalbello and SHE VERTICAL SUPLEXES BASSETT ONTO AND THROUGH THE RING ANNOUNCER’S TABLE!!!!! OH–MY–*G*O*D*!!!!!!!!
Bishop: WoW!! ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!!! POWERBOMB ANGELA BASSETT HAS BEEN SUPLEXED THROUGH A TABLE, AND DALBELLO RAGE HAS KNOCKED THE WIND OUT OF HERSELF!! STOP THIS MATCH!! THIS MATCH MUST BE STOPPED NOW!!
Congo: WHO’S GONNA STOP IT!! THE REF IS STILL OUT COLD!! GODIVA RAGE AND TERRY MCMILLEN JUST GETTING BACK INTO THE RING NOW!!
Bishop: Fans, I apologize for the chaos. The battle finally getting back into the ring as our displaced ring announcer, Spud McKenzie, slaps the face of the referee until he comes around.
Congo: McMillen with a Gutwrench Suplex and an attempted cover…. but the ref is arguing with Spud. Spud is telling him to stop the match!! Kickout by Rage and McMillen with a Side Headlock. It looks like the official is letting this match go on!!
Congo: Rage picks herself back up to her feet, lifting Technician with her, and shoves her off into the ropes. She comes running back AND GODIVA RAGE WITH A MILITARY PRESS AND A DUMP OVER THE TOP ROPE!! ONCE AGAIN, THE WAR LEAVES THE RING!! THIS ONE IS HELL AND I LOVE IT!!
(Another chorus of approval by the hardcores!)
Bishop: Amazingly, Powerbomb slowly pulling herself out of the rubble that the table has become. Dalbello still not up, she may have cracked some ribs or something. And POWERBOMB WEAKENLY STOMPS ON DALBELLO’S UPPER BODY!! THAT COULD CAUSE PERMANENT INJURY!!
(Ref counting: 2……………..3………………..)
Congo: It’s retribution!! That’s what happens when you suplex a young lady to the outside.
Bishop: GODIVA RAGE FROM OUT OF NOWHERE COLLAPSES POWERBOMB WITH A RUNNING LARIAT TO THE BACK OF HER HEAD!! SHE’S GONNA FINISH THIS ONE!!
Congo: She picks up Powerbomb, she’s gonna piledrive her!! No wait, a hoist up–a powerbomb? SHE THROWS HER BACKWARDS INTO THE METAL RAIL!! THAT’S WHAT SHE CALLS HER “BRITISH BOMBSHELL!!” GOD-DAMN!!!
(Another Hardcore pop as the ref counts.)
Bishop: Technician rolls back into the ring as her partner lies on the outside. The ref asking her if this should be stopped and she’s shaking her head no. My god, this is becoming one of the most violent matches in GDWA history. Lanny Manson in a cage, Ananda vs Demonica, Charlotte and Valkyrie at the Summer Supercard; this one is right up there!!
Congo: And Godiva rolls back in, all smiles. Technician stomping away at her before she can get to her feet. A partial pick-up and a neck snapmare, sending Godiva back down. Another pick-up and a REVERSE NECKBREAKER!! This one is just about over!!
Bishop: But McMillen is not going for a pin!!
Spud: 10 minutes have gone by in the 15 minute time limit. 5 minutes remain.
Bishop: The Technician, Terry McMillen, is yelling out to the fans and raising her hand up high!! She’s gonna finish this with the Claw!!!
(Fans all cheering for the Claw!)
Congo: McMillen circling Rage as she slowly gets up, ready to slap on the Claw–CHOPBLOCK BY GODIVA RAGE!! Godiva has just powerfully driven her shoulders into the front of Technician’s left knee. Technician is going down, that very well could have busted her knee!
Bishop: And now Rage is choking her on the bottom rope!! The ref gets the break but Rage just continues afterward!!
Congo: Meanwhile, back outside, Dalbello Rage is back on her feet and getting a few good stomps in on “Powerbomb” Angela Bassett. Bassett can do little more than roll into a ball right now. Dalbello now trying to crawl back onto the apron. Give her her due, Bishop. She’s at an age where injuries begin to really show and she’s willing to get back into that ring! That’s a real athlete for you.
Bishop: True, very true. Godiva dragging McMillen out to the center of the ring; a double leg pick-up, we just may see a Scorpion Deathlock here!!
Congo: A THRUST KICK TO THE CHEST BY TECHNICIAN!! Godiva is on the mat. Terry McMillen will not buckle. She’s crawling to the ropes as Godiva rolls to her corner–and tags in Dalbello!
Bishop: Dalbello is slow into the ring herself. McMillen is pulling herself up by the ropes as Dalbello kicks slowly away at her back and midsection. Dalbello with a handful of hair and pushes McMillen backwards to the far side ropes–TECHNICIAN DROPS TO HER KNEES AND FLIPS DALBELLO OUT OF THE RING WITH A HANDFUL OF TIGHTS!! The ref yelling at her as she explains that her knee simply gave out.
Congo: Of course. Powerbomb, back up now, sees Dalbello out on the floor. She stumbles in and drops a Corkscrew Elbow to Rage’s ribs!!
Bishop: And Terry McMillen is climbing the nearest turnbuckle. Uh oh…
(Crowd cheering gets louder and louder…)
Congo: Powerbomb hoisting Dalbello up over her knee. I think that we just may see a “Big Throwdown,” as they call it…
Bishop: GODIVA RAGE RUNS ACROSS THE APRONAND KNOCKS MCMILLEN OFF TO THE OUTSIDE!!
(More hardcore cheering…the crowd is really enjoying brutality tonight.)
Congo: THEY’RE STILL AT IT!! GODIVA PASTES MCMILLEN WITH A SPLASH FROM THE APRON!!
Bishop: The ref has had it….he’s calling for the bell now.
Bishop: Everyone has basically just collapsed on the outside. They’re happy that it’s over…for now, anyway.
(Crowd boos, they want more.)
Congo: It’s not a matter of happiness as much as it is that these ladies cannot continue at this pace. The ref called the match, but I know we’ll have a rematch soon. Hopefully, they’ll make it a no-DQ brawl.
Bishop: Anyhow, the official word as Spud gets in the ring. At least they’re bringing him a new table!
Spud: Fans, at 13:12; this match has been ruled a DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION!!
Congo: And that does it for me and tag action tonight. It looks as if those ladies could use help back down the aisle anyway. Enjoy your time with Mr. Mutt.
(Dawg Pound barks as Sam Mutt comes running down the aisle.)
Mutt: No problem. $500 is no problem. I got Valkyrie over Officer Order in the Main Event tonight. I’ll come out even.
Micki Duran vs. Radhi Ananda
Spud: Wrestling fans, this next contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit.
(Fans booing as they hear ‘All I Really Want’ by Alanis Morissette.)
Spud: First, accompanied down the aisle by her manager the Kingpin and Andrea Chandler! Representing the Syndicate…..from Lake Ponchatrain, Louisiana. She is 5 feet 8 inches, 124 pounds, here is the ‘Legend’ Micki Duran!!!!
(Micki Duran enters the ring wearing a white singlet with the words LEGEND on the back, matching boots, wrist tape and headband.)
Spud: And her opponent…
(Crowd all cheering as ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda bursts through the curtain.)
Spud: From Bombay, India! She is 5 feet 5, Weighing 135 pounds, here is ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda!
(Spud McKenzie hops through the ropes as Radhi Ananda flies into the ring.)
Mutt: What the hell?
Bishop: RADHI ANANDA STORMING THE RING AND NAILING ANDREA CHANDLER AND MICKI DURAN WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!
Bishop: Jungle with a pick up and Irish Whips Duran to the far side. Duran bounces off and Jungle with a Dropkick to the midsection!!!! OH my!
(Dawg Pound exploding as fans chant: Radhi! Radhi! Radhi! Radhi!. )
Bishop: The Legend has been humbled to the mat. Jungle with another pick up and Irish Whips the Legend to the far ropes. Jungle runs to the side ropes as Micki Duran bounces off the far ropes….and Jungle connects with a Side Headlock…
Mutt: No! Micki Duran with a Waistlock and countering with a Spinebuster! But she’s hurt. She’s hurt bad. Radhi Ananda connected with an incredible maneuver. The Legend is still out of wind. She’s gasping for breath.
(Fans groaning as both women lie on the mat.)
Bishop: Micki Duran starting to her feet first. Duran with a Single Leg Pick up and drops an elbow to the leg of Jungle. Duran back up and another hammering elbow. Now a spinning toe hold…
Mutt: …and an Eye Gouge from Radhi Ananda. Jungle now, on her knees getting to her feet. ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda driving knees into the midsection of the blinded Micki Duran. And Duran still isn’t over that initial Dropkick.
Bishop: Jungle Irish Whipping Duran to the near ropes, Duran bouncing off and nailing Radhi Ananda with a Belly to Belly Suplex. And Duran is hurting. Even though Radhi Ananda is down, Duran is rolling around the ring clutching her midsection.
Mutt: I will say that she’s got ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda well scouted. No high risk and high flying maneuvers from her. Duran’s got them shut down.
Bishop: Jungle is the first to her feet, and picks up Duran for a Bodyslam, no! Inside Cradle…1……2……kick out!
(Crowd cheering wildly as Radhi Ananda picks up Micki Duran.)
Bishop: Jungle Radhi Ananda with a handful of hair, and Giant Swings Micki Duran across the ring. The ref is warning her, but the deed has been done. Now, ‘Jungle Radhi Ananda going to the corner…..
(Crowd all on their feet as Radhi Ananda stands poised up top.) Mutt: Jungle is up! She jumps….and nails the Legend with a Guillotine Drop! The cover….1…..2….shoulder up. Jungle is half out of her mind. If she nails the Splash, this is all over and done with.
(Crowd cheering on Radhi Ananda as she picks up Micki Duran.)
Bishop: Micki Duran totally not prepared for a match up with this psycho. She was ready for a wrestling match. Jungle with a handful of hair, running Duran over to the near corner….
Mutt: ….and Micki Duran counters the turnbuckle smash with one of her own. Duran now, with a Fireman’s Carry pick up and a Fall Away Slam!
(Fans booing loudly!)
Spud: 5 minutes have gone by in the 15 minute time limit. 10 left.
(Fans cheering as the ‘Legend’ Micki Duran slowly gets to her feet.)
Bishop: Duran’s entire midsection looks to be in bad shape. WoW! Her mobility is down seriously. Duran with a pickup and a Thrust Kick. Jungle hits the mat as Duran covers for the Lateral Press….
Ref: 1……….2……kick out!
Bishop: Duran very methodical now, with a Single Leg pick up and an Elbow to the thigh. Duran with another Single Leg Pick up and another hammering Elbow. Duran now, with a Legbar, and Jungle is stuck on the mat. Mutt: This is a great rest hold for the Legend. It not only wears down this Jungle woman, but it allows the Legend to get some of her breath back to put this match away.
Bishop: Radhi Ananda, trying to find a way out of this, AND IS BITING MICKI DURAN! The ref trying to stop her, but she’s not letting go. Duran releasing and Jungle using the ropes to get to her feet.
Mutt: Duran with a wild right hand….and Radhi blocks it! Radhi with a kick to the midsection, and Front Face Lock. What is this? She picks up the Legend in the Vertical Suplex position……..AND DROPS HER STRAIGHT DOWN AGAINST THE TOP RING ROPE!!!!
(Dawg Pound barking: Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!)
Bishop: This is incredible. Duran hanging over the top ring rope. The ref attempting to get her down, and Jungle tosses him aside. Jungle limping a little bit as she walks over near the ropes, and a high knee into the head of Duran. She’s flipped over to the outside!
(Fans screaming as ‘Jungle’ Radhi Ananda heads to the outside.)
Mutt: The Kingpin demanding action as Jungle takes Duran over to the table and rams her head into it! Oh no! Radhi Ananda and Duran on top of the table, AND JUNGLE RADHI ANANDA DDT’S HER ON TOP OF THE TABLE!!! DURAN IS OUT!
Spud: 10 minutes have gone by in the 15 minute time limit. 5 remaining.
Bishop: The ref and the Kingpin are exchanging words, and he hasn’t seen any of this. Here comes Andrea Chandler. Andrea nailing Jungle with a chair to the back! Jungle is down, as Andrea kicks away on the fallen Jungle.
Bishop: Another chair shot, and Radhi Ananda is down. Andrea now, rolling Micki Duran into the ring. I think she beat the count!
(Fans boo as they hear “All I Really Want” by Alanis Morissette.)
Spud: At 11 minutes 15 seconds, your winner via countout is….’The Legend’ Micki Duran!!!
Bishop: Andrea Chandler having to assist Micki Duran away from ringside. She’s still clutching her midsection. And I don’t think she’s entirely conscious after that DDT. The Legend with a win over Jungle who was getting wild on a night alright filled with madness.
Mutt: Hey, the officials have done a rotten job tonight. Don’t blame the wrestlers for getting tough. Blame these lame refs who don’t do their job and enforce.
Spud: Wrestling Fans, due to an injury incurred earlier tonight, doctors will not release Valkyrie for her match against Officer Order tonight. Officer Order gains victory via forfeit.
(Mixed cheers and boos as Spud McKenzie leaves the stage.)
Bishop: Fans, before we leave you tonight, we have some words from Daisy Butterfly who is out injured this week.
Mutt: Yeah! First the Syndicate put a GOOD beating on her, then Nikita Marx punished her WELL! I love it!
Bishop: Let’s hear form Daisy….
(SCENE: A backyard barbeque-type affair. Reclining in a child’s inflatable wading pool is DAISY BUTTERFLY, wearing a two-piece swimsuit and sunglasses with a drink in her hand. Muted explosions, like fireworks, can be heard in the background…)
DAISY: Independence Day, my favorite day of the year. A day I get to celebrate the country that willingly opened its arms to my parents and many other immigrant families. While I won’t lie to you and say that America is the melting pot it claims to be, I will proudly state that it is truly the greatest country on Earth. Proved that to Nikita Marx. Anyway, what Fourth of July would be complete without fireworks and a barbeque?
Dixie Foxy, I’m in the middle of cleaning up after the Supercard and I wanted to know if you’d like to come to my Independence Day party. I’ll bring the firecrackers and you just provide the meat. It’ll be a blast!
(Cupid Cubbins toddles in front of the camera and lights a cone- shaped fountain firework)
We’re set to celebrate. C’mon over and bring your appetite.
Mutt: Sounds like an underhanded challenge if I ever heard one.
Bishop: Well, Daisy Butterfly has already run into one member of the Evil Empire. The Playmate would become the second. And to all our fans of the Grand Dragon Wrestling Alliance, we wish you a Safe and Festive Fourth of July Weekend.
Mutt: And don’t drink and drive! Party hard anyway.
Bishop: Damn it Sam. Okay fans, that’s all for this week. See ya on the Saturday House Show.