Virgo defends the OWA TV Championship against Harvard Earl; Taleis battles the returning Adam Sanchez; Big Russ Gator takes on Stacks Coltrain and Gustaffson and Nightmare battle for a spot in the Press Your Luck tournament
Scenes from Crime Spree: Wendy’s chin hitting the bar; Mr. America falling from the roof; Harvard Earl spray painting Danny Bouchard; Freddy Fever getting the pinfall on Michelle Cox on pavement; and finally Traci Lane atop the ladder holding high the OWA Championship. The OWA Championship Wrestling logo comes on screen and shatters to a capacity crowd]
Ed: Welcome to OWA Championship Wrestling and Crime Spree goes down in history as the most violent night in professional wrestling! Rejoining the broadcast position this week is Biff Franklin, whose team lost at Crime Spree, however, you left a lasting impression on one Ricky Hype.
Biff: Bah. Who cares if that Stallion is a loser and can’t beat that runt Taleis. I had Ricky Hype screaming for mercy and I loved it! Being back in the ring was great! Of course, I’m now back in retirement, so you get the pleasure of my humor and wit.
Ed: Uh. Right. This week, we have four great matches for you. We’ll see the return of “The Enforcer” Adam Sanchez as hell take on the tough Taleis. Gustaffson returns to single action as he takes on Nightmare, in a Press Your Luck qualifying match. Stacks Coltrain will battle Big Russ Gator, and our new OWA TV Champion, Virgo will defend his title against Harvard Earl. Let’s go to ringside.
Taleis vs. Adam Sanchez
Announcer: This match is one fall. First, coming down the aisle, weighing in at 245 pounds, this is Taleis! And his opponent, making his OWA Championship Wrestling debut. He’s a former OWA Champion. This is “The Enforcer” Adam Sanchez!!
Ed: We got a quick look at Sanchez at Crime Spree where he made his debut. Taleis also successful at the PPV. Both are looking ahead to Press Your Luck and will be in qualifying matches next week for that tournament.
Biff: Well, Taleis has shown a bit of a mean streak in his last couple of matches. I think I’m going to like it. There’s the bell and there’s a lock up. Taleis goes for a punch, but Sanchez ducks and delivers an inverted atomic drop.
Ed: Sanchez with a rana and there’s a cover. one. t. Kickout by Taleis. Sanchez with a clothesline, but Taleis ducks and backdrops Sanchez out of the ring. Taleis with a senton splash on Sanchez out of the ring! Taleis throws Sanchez back into the ring, and follows him in.
Biff: Taleis with a spin kick, but Sanchez ducks and nails Taleis with a spinning headscissors. Sanchez with a belly to back suplex and a cover. one. two. Kickout by Taleis. Cross corner whip by Sanchez. He goes in after and goes for a monkey flip but Taleis blocks and Sanchez falls backwards on to his head.
Ed: Taleis goes to the top and lands a moonsault. one. two. Kickout by Sanchez. Taleis hits with an enzuigiri and then a springboard dropkick. cover. one. two. Taleis has his feet on the ropes and the ref sees it and makes him break.
Biff: Taleis is beefing with the ref on that one and Sanchez has pulled something from his tights. It’s a chain and he’s wrapping it around his hand. Taleis turns from the ref and Sanchez nails him with the chain! What a cheater! Cover. one. two. three!! I cannot believe that!
Announcer: Winner of the match in 12: 23, Adam Sanchez!
Ed: Sanchez with a win over Taleis. Let’s go to Myers Watterson and our first Press Your Luck report.
Press Your Luck Report
Myers: Welcome to your first Press Your Luck report. They’re dubbing it, “Seven Deadly Sins.. Press Your Luck will be held in Fresno California at the Selland Arena on June 22nd.
The main event will be for the OWA Championship. Current champion Traci Lane will defend her title against the number one contender, “The Disco Kid” Freddy Fever. Fever won his title shot with a victory over Michelle Cox, and Traci Lane regained her title at Crime Spree.
Another match signed for Press Your Luck is being called “The Seven Deadly Sins” match. It’ll pit former-Femme Monica Brant against “The Wild Child” Wendy Ryker in a seven stipulations, best of seven falls match. Here’s how it’ll work. Monica Brant and Wendy Ryker will alternately pick six stipulation for the match and the OWA Commissioner will pick the seventh. That’s one stipulation for each fall. The first fall could be Coal Miner’s Glove match, a Hair vs. Hair match, a steel cage match. It makes no difference. The first person to win four falls will be declared the winner.
Now, the thrust of Press Your Luck is the Press Your Luck tournament. Here is how this tournament works:
16 names are put into a barrel. The barrel is rolled, and then two names are taken from the barrel and put into a second barrel. Those names will not be revealed. The names in the second barrel are for those advancing to the second round. Then, two more names are drawn and announced. Those two will wrestle. The loser is out of the tournament. The winner will then flip a coin. If the coin lands on heads, then the wrestler is advanced to round two, and two more names are drawn. If the coin is tails, then an another name is drawn as an opponent for the winning party and they’ll have to wrestle a second first round match. There is no limit on how many times you can wrestle in a single round. If a person is unlucky enough, they could wrestle 15 matches in the first round. Of course, if they were to do that, they’d win the tournament. Once all wrestlers names have been drawn, then we advance to round two.
Again, two names will be drawn and set aside, advancing to the next round. And we continue as we did in round one. When all names are drawn, we continue the process, without setting aside names in each round after the second. When there is only one person left in the tournament, then they will be declared the winner.
The winner of the tournament automatically goes to the main event in our August PPV to face the OWA Champion.
Two men have already qualified for that match. Asian Invasion and Diamond Brett Robbins. There’s a match later tonight between Gustaffson and Nightmare, and three qualifiers next week. On Tuesday, Adam Sanchez will take on Big Russ Gator. On Thursday, Taleis will take on Shogun, and on next Sunday, Mariko will take on Crimson Scorpion. Winners advance, losers do not.
That’s all for the Press Your Luck report this week. I’ll be back next week with more info on the card.
PYL Qualifier: Nightmare vs. Gustaffson
Announcer: This match is one fall and is a qualifying match for the Press Your Luck tournament. First coming down the aisle, weighing in at 287 pounds. This is Nightmare! And his opponent. Coming down the aisle, standing 7’2” and weighing 367 pounds. This is the giant, Gustaffson!
Ed: Nightmare was chosen to replace an injured Johnny Blades, who is still recovering from Crime Spree. Nightmare off the bat attacks Gustaffson before the bell.
Biff: That’s what he’s going to have to do. Nightmare off the ropes, but Gustaffson plants him with a clothesline. Gustaffson lifts him up and nails him with a chokeslam.
Ed: Gustaffson has Nightmare in big trouble and he nails the Drop Piledriver! Cover. one. two. three!! He advances that quickly!
Announcer: Winner of the match in 2: 03, advancing to Press Your Luck, Gustaffson!
Ed: We had an Anthony Hazard segment we were going to show you at this time, however, the OWA Commissioner was very strict about Hazard’s two week suspension and will not allow it to be shown during this broadcast.
Biff: Bah! That Commissioner is starting to get on my nerves.
Ed: Let’s go down to ringside.
Big Russ Gator vs. Stacks Coltrain
Announcer: This match is one fall. First, being accompanied to the ring by Masked Plague and Pooh. Weighing in at 265 pounds. This is Big Russ Gator!
Big Russ hits the ring and takes the announcer’s mic]
Big Russ: Cut that music, I gots somethins I wants to get off my chest. First off, Mr. America you pansy. I knows you hears tonight, and ifins I catch you back stage I’m gonna knock the ass clean off your back
Big Russ spits dip into the middle of the ring]
Big Russ: Secondly, why the hell do we got that there two bit slut for a champion havin ol Scotty the Renegade “I just wish Mr. America would give me some more of his corny advice” kissin up to her so damn much. I mean, it bad enough that we gots to see her breakin in to zoos and harrasin endangered species like thems tiger.
Big Russ Gator blows his nose in his hand, then wipes it off on a turnbuckle]
Big Russ: And lastly this Stacks Coltrain I gots to fight today, what the hell is that? Am I’se gonna be fightin a rassler or a damn bottle of cheap liquor? Oh yeah, thems that hussy that helped cheat MP Inc. out of the 6 man tag championship. We’ll sister, you just gonna have to get beat on tonight, cause Scorp ain’t respect you, Kodiak ain’t respect ya, and I sure as hell ain’t respect ya. So bring that little narrow ass of yours up here in this rang, so I can kick it around for a few minutes. Then I’m gonna take five minutes off for a smoke, then kick it again! So come on sister, its Gator time!
Russ drops the mic and the announcer picks it up]
Announcer: And his opponent.
As Stacks and Monty steps through the curtains, Mr. America and Tom Tomorrow come through as well and nail them with chairs. From the other side of the arena, Taleis hits the ring with a chair and nails Big Russ Gator. Masked Plague enters the ring and gets hit by the chair too. Taleis grabs Pooh and beats on Masked Plague with it. Mr. America slides Stacks into the ring and hits Stacks with diving shoulderblock. Mr. America levels Big Russ with a flying forearm. Tom Tomorrow grabs the leg of Stacks and pulls her to the outside of the ring. Taleis picks up Masked Plague and nails him with the military press diamond cutter. Taleis climbs into the ring as Tom Tomorrow places Stacks onto a table. He takes Stacks down with a top-rope DDT. Mr. America pulls Big Russ to his feet and nails him with the piledriver. Tom Tomorrow climbs into the ring and grabs the legs of the downed Big Russ. Taleis climbs up onto the turnbuckle as Mr. America rebounds off the ropes. Tom Tomorrow slingshots Big Russ into a Mr. America lariat. As Big Russ hits the mat, Taleis comes off the top buckle with a kneedrop to the throat of Big Russ. Mr. America picks up Big Russ and tosses him out of the ring. Diamond Brett Robbins, Shogun, Virgo, Crimson Scorpion, Kodiak, Rainbow Warrior, Executioner and Nazghul come running down the aisle and Mr. America, Tom Tomorrow and Taleis head out the other side.]
Ed: What the hell happened here?!?!?!
Biff: Mass destruction!
Ed: We need to take a break. We’ll be back.
Scene goes to the ring and each stable helping out their fallen friends.]
Scene goes to a Mr. America interview. No voice is heard, but some background music plays, then switches to a Diamond Brett Robbins interview]
Voice over: Next week on OWA Championship Wrestling. Mr. America takes on Diamond Brett Robbins.
Scene goes back as the fallen wrestlers are being helped back to the locker room]
Ed: Elaine Bryant is back in the locker room with the three responsible for this carnage.
Elaine in the locker room: I’m back here with.
Mr. America & Tom Tomorrow
Mr. America: Elaine, I love ya, but shut up. So now everyone wants to know what we’re up to. We’ll let me tell ya something. I got a little tired of sitting with my thumbs up my [BEEP: waiting for something to happen. So what do I do? We’ll I find out a little tidbit of information and I make a few calls. BAM! Here we go! You’re looking at three people that don’t give a good God [BEEP: what the heck goes on. I’ve claimed to be the OWA heat machine for a while. We’ll ever since winning that TV belt, I’ve been about as hot as a dead woman at the morgue. Frankly, I’m glad I don’t have that title anymore. I’m not restrained by those rules anymore that I was bound by when I was the champion. So what’s that mean? We’ll it sure as hell not good news for either Maxx or Blades, but then they’d have to stop doing that mime impersonation to say anything. Hazard talks about others who are silent. We’ll Tony, do something with your own before you blast anyone else. As far as you go Hazard. Remember that TV title match? I get to hear you say how you had me beat, we’ll if you’d remember correctly you didn’t get a chance to hit your finisher and I did. You were still groggy in that ring and it showed. Maxx and Blades, you’ve got two things that I have my eye on. Those pretty little belts around your waist.
Tom Tomorrow: Can you feel it? Can you sense it in the air? The balance of power in the OWA has shifted, ladies and gentlemen! Who is there that can stand up to our combined might? MP Inc.? The Elite? The Crew? Once we could speak of each of these groups as forces to be reckoned with, but now they are as dated as yesterday’s newspaper. To quote from the Bhagavad-Vita: “I am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds!” Look upon us--the Destiny of the OWA! Mr. America. Taleis and I, Tom Tomorrow. [Strikes a pose: WRESTLER OF THE FUTURE!
Mr. America: Russ, we’ve been at it for almost a year and I don’t intend to let up until you can’t walk anymore. As for Stacks. She was just an added bonus like Monty. I told you that you hadn’t been repaid in full Virgo and Shogun. We’re still not finished. Though it does amuse me that when we started this feud out how Taleis was on your side. Seems to me that now he’s had a change of heart. Funny how things work isn’t it? He joined a few of my other friends elsewhere and one day I called and we got to talking. We’ll lookie what happened. I won’t tell you why he’s here because he can speak for himself.
Taleis: Virgo. You and the Crew are a bunch of suckers, plain and simple. You’re probably sitting back in the back, staring at your face reflected in the OWA TV belt, wondering why I would associate with these two men. A lot of you people (points to the camera) are probably sitting here wondering the same thing but don’t worry, the answer is quite simple. So simple, in fact, that even you morons sitting home on your ass will be able to understand it. (Taleis smirks.) These two men (points to America and Tomorrow) are veterans of the OWA. They know talent when they see it. Long story short, we all got together and decided to raise a little hell in the OWA, and this was a very small sample of what we plan to do. Get we’ll soon, boys and girls. We look forward to kicking your asses again! (Taleis laughs.)
Mr. America: My oh my! How things are starting to heat up around here! I hope everyone is ready because you’re looking at the future! Yeah Hazard, time the new blood got the spotlight and let you fade out to the background once again.
OWA TV Championship: Virgo vs. Harvard Earl
Announcer: This match is one fall and is for the OWA TV Championship. First, introducing the challenger. He weighs in at 325 pounds. This is Harvard Earl! And his opponent! Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 275 pounds. He is the OWA TV Champion. This is Virgo!
Ed: Here we go with Virgo’s first title defense. There’s the bell and we have a lock up. Virgo goes for a jumping side kick, but Earl with a duck down. Earl goes for a double chicken wing submission, but Virgo gets to the ropes.
Biff: Another lock up and Virgo goes around and nails a bridging back suplex. one. Kickout by Earl. Virgo goes to pull up Earl, but Earl nails him with a low blow. Earl with a kick to the midsection and a ropeburn. Earl is pulling out all the stops for this match.
Ed: Earl with an inside cradle. one. Reversal by Virgo. one. Kickout by Earl. Virgo up and nails Earl with an enzuigiri. Earl is up, but Virgo nails him with a clothesline. Earl ducks a second clothesline and nails Virgo with a reverse DDT.
Biff: Earl’s gonna win this. He nails a double underhook piledriver. cover. one. two. th. Kickout by Virgo! Northern Lights suplex by Earl. cover. one. two. th. Kickout by Virgo. Earl with a flying legdrop, but Virgo moves. He’s going to the top and nails a hurricanrana off the top rope!
Ed: Both men are down. Earl staggers to his feet as does Virgo. Virgo goes for a bridging back suplex but Earl counters with a headlock takedown. Virgo with a roll up! One. two. three!! He gets the pin. Earl is up and nails Virgo with a clothesline.
Biff: Asian Invasion is coming to ringside. Earl slides out of the ring. They both go for the TV Title. What’s going on here?
Ed: They’re playing tug of war with the OWA TV title. Virgo has gotten to his feet and slides out of the ring and grabs a chair and nails them both! He grabs the TV title and heads up the aisle!
Announcer: Winner of the match and STILL OWA TV Champion. Virgo!
Ed: We are out of time for this week. For the whole OWA crew, I’m Ed Bagel, and we’ll see you next week.