Godiva Rage defends the Western States TV Championship against Monica Brant; Davey Scott takes on Asian Invasion in a best 2 of three falls match; Mr. America battles Adam Sanchez

Traci Lane & Godiva Rage

(The scene opens on Traci “The Black Widow” Lane as she sits in a high-backed recliner, analyzing some ledgers scattered on a heavy mahogany desk. Current stock information flickers by on a computer situated to her left. The window behind her shows the grounds of the estate under a bright midday sky, with marble statuary positioned amidst the sculpted hedges. As Traci works, an intercom on her desk buzzes, and she clicks it.)

Traci: Yes?

Voice: Miss Lane? You have a visitor, a miss.

Godiva’s voice: You ruddy know full bleedin’ we’ll who it is, ducks. It’s the newest sensation in whatever that promotion is called this week. Godiva Rage, awright? Now let me frickin’ in’

Traci: (Sits up, her brows arched.) Godiva? By all means, come in’

(Some moments pass, as Traci stacks the papers before her into tidy piles, and straightens up the rest of the desk. The door to her office opens, and she looks up.)

(Godiva storms in and slams the belt down in front of her, unsettling some of the ledgers.)

Traci: Hullo, Godiva. Good to see you. (Looks down at the belt.) Congratulations on winning the Television Title. Now may I ask what this is all about?

Godiva: Oh, you wanna act all posh now, is it? You know what this is. It’s me frickin’ initiation into your pack of screechin’ ‘ens, the Femmes. You invited me and I was raised by my Auntie never to go to anyone’s house without bearing gifts. Right so when do I get me beenie and letter jacket?

Traci: You want to join the Femmes?!? (She leans back and smiles.) Godiva, you know we’d be delighted to have you. I honestly thought you had no interest in doing so. I apologize for the miscommunication, if there was one.

Godiva: S. awright, really, I am a bit daft, you know. And frankly, I don’t like doin’ the expected all the time. I don’t take this biz awful serious, but there is some joy in foolin’ around wit me mates backstage. As long as I don’t ‘ave to swallow any gold fish.

Traci: (She stands, and walks around to the other side of the desk.) Very well, then. As I’ve already discussed this matter with the other members of the group, I welcome you to our group. (She extends her hand.)

Godiva: (Shakes her hand) Oooh la, I like your style. Handshake and everythin’. Even sound all posh, too. Cooey, I don’t know if I can avoid steppin’ on any pretty little manicured toes, round ‘ere. I’m a bit of a punter meself. Not one for all this posh bending and scrappy. I ain’t no aristocrat.

Traci: You needn’t be concerned with anyone cramping your style. We aren’t concerned with our members maintaining a certain image. While I’ve changed my ways to a certain degree, I don’t expect Monica to be any nicer than she ever was -- God forbid! -- and Rachel, well, Rachel just beats people up, and people love it for whatever reason. But don’t feel as though we’re out to “reform” anyone, because that’s not what we’re about. There is no leader, although I speak for the group most often. There are no rules of conduct. There is only one requirement, that being the Femmes support one another. Period. We may fight amongst ourselves from time to time, but otherwise, we train together, play together, and win together. Something like you have with your family, correct?

Godiva: Hey, wot you know about me family, right? We bust each other’s balls all day, true. But all that love and support rot, ‘ey, family’s gotta fight with each other and against each other. You lot just seem cool t’ ‘ang out with. You need me to knock somebody’s slobber then cool, I’m your girl, but I ain’t one for no frilly little pillow fights or some odd stuff like that. Let me make that clear from in front. And excuse me for being belligerent about it, but frankly, I ain’t good at bein’ with a whole. eap of other women that ain’t me sisters. They say it plays merry. e’ll with your cycles.

Traci: Hm. I haven’t had that problem, actually, but I can’t speak for the others. Be that as it may, it seems we’re in agreement. (Traci puts her arm around Godiva’s waist, and begins leading her off.) Come, I’d like to gather the others and give them the good news. The sooner we officialize this, the better.

Godiva: Officialize? Coo-la, is that what they teach you in those posh public schools? We’ll make it official whenever you choose. You’ve been readin’ too many bloody business texts and not enough Shakespeare mate. Hey, I. ear you got some bloke named Gus about ‘anging on. Wot’s ‘e all about then, eh? Bit of stuff on the side for the Champ, eh?

Traci: (She shrugs and smiles.) That would be telling, love, and heaven forbid I should offer more grist for the gossip mill. Let’s just let everyone think what they wish.

Godiva: Blimey, I bet you’ve got a good bit of kink in you anyway. Posh girls usually do. All in their little leather merry widows and stiletto ‘eels. That’s a dangerous mix if you ask me. So, we got a little motto? You know like that real cool sayin’ “The Misfits is it!”?

Traci: Certainly. It’s been around for awhile. “Payback isn’t a bitch. It’s a Femme.” Thus far, we’ve made good on that. With you around, I suspect we’ll have no trouble continuing to do so..

(The two continue to talk as they walk off-camera....)

Brand new Primal Rage opening sequence plays, showing a couple of dinosaurs in wrestling tights going at it. As the shot pans out, we see them in the ring, and a large gathering of cavemen in the “audience. The Shot continues to pan until the golden red sky it all we see and the stone lettering “Primal Rage” appears. The sequence shatters as we are taken to a packed house with fireworks and pyrotechnics.]

Ed: Welcome to Sacramento California and Primal Rage and a shocker opening things up. Godiva Rage has joined the Femmes.

Biff: I’ll tell you what, I thought that Godiva Rage has a few brain cells, but Virgo must have beaten them out of her since she’s gone and joined the Femmes. What in the world could she be thinking?!?

Ed: What are you talking about? The Femmes are probably the most successful stable in the WSCW, of all time.

Biff: And look where they’re heading. Mariko. Who? Consuelo Salyards no longer has the North American Title. Monica Brant hasn’t had a title in almost a year. Rachel Ryan has been awfully quiet. The only person who’s been doing successful is Traci Lane but she really hasn’t been challenged. I’ve a feeling that Mr. America is gonna make her eat that title and we’re going to have a new champion.

Ed: Well, of course, that’s just your opinion. I think Traci has a hell of a chance at retaining at Deck the Halls.

Biff: Yeah yeah.

Ed: Today, we’ve got a great card. A best 2 of 3 falls match, pitting Ricky Hype against Asian Invasion. Mr. America will take on Adam Sanchez and for the TV Title. Femme vs. Femme. Godiva Rage will take on Monica Brant. Let’s go to ringside!

Ricky “The SHOW” Hype stands outside the arena next to a large tour bus as many little children and teenagers exit into the parking lot next to a private entrance. Hype and all the children are wearing a white jackets with green and black trim.]

Ricky Hype: Hello everyone! I just wanted to announce that I have realized a dream of mine that has been in the works for some time.

Hype motions to the children then points to the embroidered letters on his jacket which read H.Y.P.E.]

Hype: These young people are the first to be a part of H.Y.P.E., Helping Youths Prepare Early. This is a foundation I have started along with the help of some sponsors including Buddy Fudge’s Ice Cream Emporium, that will be dedicated to preparing the young people of the world for later life.

Hype, as a little girl grabs his hand and tugs: I would like to say that we are just beginning and that H.Y.P.E. would welcome any support from the wrestling world. The WSCW, stables, and individual wrestlers are welcome to participate in any and all of our events and are encouraged to contact us with their own ideas.

little girl: Come ON! Ricky! That Asian Invasion is a sneak! And you need to be ready!

Hype: Ok Susan, let’s go.

Hype as he walks into the arena: This match is dedicated to all the H.Y.P.E. kids. And I won’t let them down!!!

scene fades as the arena door closes]

Best 2 of 3 Falls: Ricky Hype vs. Asian Invasion

Announcer: This match is for the best two of three falls.

All spotlights converge on the entrance as “Mr. Speed” from Kiss begins to rock the arena. Two arms part the curtains and Ricky “The SHOW” Hype walks through to the roar of the fans. Atop the ramp Ricky Hype spins and shuffles pointing to all the fans. Suddenly, a sea of white jackets pours through the curtains as the H.Y.P.E. kids surround “The SHOW” and they all do the Hype shuffle down to the ring.]

Hype leads them to their ringside section then grabs a mic and stands in the center of the ring]

Ricky Hype: This is it people! The wait is over! HYPE is back and the SHOW goes on!! My climb to the top starts here tonight. Asian Invasion is the first step. Then.

Hype waving to the H.Y.P.E. kids: the Hype invasion begins!!!!

Announcer, as pyrotechnics explode everywhere: Ladies and gentlemen, weighing in at 257 pounds, the King of Color. The Glitz Wizard. Mr. Times Square. The One, the Only. Ricky “the SHOW” Hype!

(The scene cuts to Asian Invasion in the locker room, wearing street clothes and listing to Wu-Tang Clan on a CD Boom Box. He turns down the music, and begins.)

Asian Invasion: Welcome everyone to this The Way It Is EXCLUSIVE!!! For the first time only, we have a special event for you here. 20/20 couldn’t get him, Dateline couldn’t get him, not Barbara Walters or Oprah, HELL, even Regis tried to get him, but he’s here, exclusively with us, today, I will interview, MYSELF, ASIAN INVASION!!!

(Asian sits in a large, plush leather chair, and continues.)

Asian Invasion: Now Asian, tonight, you take on Ricky “Nothin’ But” Hype, what are your thoughts???

(Asian sits for a few seconds, and continues.)

Asian Invasion: We’ll Asian, tonight I’ll take on Ricky “Self-Made” Hype in a two-out-of-three falls match. My plan being to kick him around for a few minutes, before pinning him for a six count, making it TWO falls, and leaving with the win’

Asian Invasion: Very good Asian, and coming, you’ll be winning your TV title back from God-Awful Rage. What are your thoughts there???

Asian Invasion: Well, in my match with Godiva “Super PMS” Rage. Not only will I regain my TV Title, but I’ll proof to the world that there is more to the WSCW, than sluts. Someone from another league is looking at our fed, and seeing “Mini-Skirt is an understatement” Rage, Con-Smellyo Salyards, and Cheese Poof Monica Brant and saying, “Damn that’s gross”. I’m gonna change that.

Asian Invasion: And we now that you, Asian Invasion, will be the man to solve that problem. It’s about thirty minutes till my match, so I’ve gotta get ready for Hype, go over strategy and study his strengths and stuff. The other 27 minutes will be spend playing Super Nintendo, so I’d like to thank my guest, me, and until I see you next, That’s The Way It Is.

(Scene moves back to the arena)

Announcer: And his opponent, weighing in at 230 pounds. Hailing from New York City. This is Asian Invasion!

Invasion walks down the aisle, jawing with a few fans on the way down. He climbs into the ring and gives a few gestures to the fans.]

Ed: Well, we’ve got an exciting evening ahead of us.

Biff: True, as much as I hate to admit it. And I’m really looking forward to this next match-up. Two of my favorite wrestlers locking up for 2 out of three falls tonight, baby, yeah!

Ed: This could quickly turn into a match to see who’s the more extravagant, Invasion or Hype.

Biff: That’d be Hype all the way, though Asian would win if it came down to who had the biggest.

Ed: (Warning tone) Biff.

Biff: Pay per View draw. Bell goes, they’re underway and Hype offers Asian a handshake! Asian looking at him with suspicion, and then takes the hand. A clean handshake and a lock up?

Ed: Don’t look at me, I’m just as confused. Asian now with a headlock, Hype pushes him off. Legsweep by Hype. Both men up and Hype does his infamous shuffle across the ring. (Crowd boos) Invasion looks about as impressed as these fans sound.

Biff: A little early to be showboating against someone like Asian. Another lock-up, nope, Hype blocks it with a forearm and then a thrust kick! Asian down and Hype again shuffling his way across the ring. (Crowd boos again) Don’t these people know any other words? (A few fans start chanting “Don’t believe the Hype”)

Ed: I guess so. Hype dropping an elbow on the downed Asian who moves out of the way! Asian with a pick-up and a whip to the ropes. Elbow smash! Simple but effective move and Hype is rocked. Asian with a headlock and a drag to the ropes. And he’s choking out Hype!

Biff: Yeah, That’s the way, Asian. Referee now counting on Asian. AI let’s go on four, and then starts to choke again’ Referee counts again’ AI again lets go on four, and chokes Hype again! Seems like AI isn’t happy with Ricky boy.

Ed: Asian letting go of the choke again, and pushed Hype to the mat. Referee getting in Asian’s face but he’s ignored as AI comes off the ropes with a BIG elbow on Hype. Pin attempt. 1. 2. Shoulder up on Hype.

Biff: That would have been three if Referee had been paying attention. Asian with a pick-up by Hype’s hair, and a toss to the corner. Following him in with a tackle. No! Hype moves and Asian stands up just in time to smack into the turnbuckle. Damn, good thing he missed that steel pole, that’ll end a match pretty quick.

Ed: Hype with a grab on Asian but Asian coming back with an arm twist and Hype with a clawhold! Hype clawing AI’s abdomen and AI stepping back to the ropes. Referee in there to get Hype to break the hold but Hype not letting go! Referee with a warning and now Hype lets go. There was no call for that.

Biff: And a SPINKICK from Hype takes Asian to the outside! Ha, no call for that either, was there ED?

Ed: Asian on the outside and Hype again playing to the crowd. And the crowd not too happy with this new side of Hype we’re seeing. Referee laying a count on Asian. He gets back in at five. Hype rushes in’ small package! 1. Kickout! And now Hype with a kick to Asian’s head and a faceslam by Hype! Another pin’ 1. 2. Kicked out again’

Biff: Asian not giving up but Hype trying to wear him down. A toss to the ropes by Hype, and a bodypress on Asian! Another pin’ 1. 2. Shoulder up! Damn, referee’s working slower than Pepto Bismal tonight. If I’d been in there, Hype would have won twice already.

Ed: You said it, Biff. Hype pulling Asian to his feet and slamming him near one corner. Referee laying account on him as he climbs to the second turnbuckle. Elbowdrop! Referee in position. 1. 2. Shoulder up again! Asian not willing to give up quite yet, Biff.

Biff: Of course not, he knows The WAY IT IS! Hype now looking frustrated as he tosses Asian to the ropes, coming in with a clothesline. No! Asian catches him in a belly-to-belly! Both men down now and that just shows how smart Asian really is!

Ed: Referee laying the infamous ten count on both men. Asian stirring now, as is Hype. Both men back up. Asian jumping back in the fight with a powerslam! And a pin’ 1...2. Kickout. Hype still to fresh for a pin, Biff.

Biff: No, this match may go for quite a while before we see anything besides a close call on the pins, Ed. Folks, we’ve got to go to a commercial break but, don’t worry. If this match ends while you’re getting a snack, we’ll be sure to tell you who won.

Monica Brant

(A promo shot of Davey Scott, WSCW wrestler. He looks to be about 15, complete with a huge amount of zits and bad hair.)

Voice Over: Davey Scott. WSCW wrestler and looser.

(Shot of Davey being pinned in the middle of the ring.)

Voice Over: Davey Scott. Man and sexist pig.

(Shot of Davey pulling apart the “Never underestimate the Power of a Woman” tee-shirt.)

Voice Over: Davey Scott. Champion and moron.

(Shot of Davey Scott dumping the Internet belt in the trash.)

Voice Over: Folks, no one wants an unexpected pregnancy. So, please, use protection.

(A close up shot of Davey Scott, photo-edited to look rather. unattractive. In the corner is a shot of a condom package.)

Voice Over: After all, some mistakes just shouldn’t be made.

(This commercial paid for by Monica Brant)

Ed: We’re back folks and Asian Invasion has taken control of this match, big time. And I’ve no idea what the WSCW is doing airing that commercial. I think that Monica Brant has gone too far.

Biff: Davey Scott’s gonna kick her butt.

Ed: Scoop and a powerslam by AI! Pin attempt. 1. 2. No! Just barely getting out of that one. Hype kicking out on instinct now, I’m pretty sure. Asian pointing to the top turnbuckle, and pulling Hype over. Asian putting Hype on the top turnbuckle! Hype seems to be fighting it, but AI lays into him with a hard right!

Biff: Hype has nowhere to go and Asian superplexes him right into the middle of the ring! Another pin attempt. 1. 2. 3! YES!

Ed: No go, Biff! Referee sees Hype’s foot on the ropes. You know, I never could figure that whole foot thing, Biff. Could you explain it to us?

Biff: What is this, Beaker’s World? No, I will not explain it. What the heck.

Ed: And Asian now with a whip to the ropes. Missing a clothesline. Hype going for the claw and Asian grabbing his arm. And a knee to the mid-section and Hype’s hurting again’ Asian obviously watching Hypes match at Halloween Horror and having that claw we’ll scouted.

Biff: Of course. Asian’s da man, Chico! Taking down Hype with a suplex now, and Asian looking pleased with himself.

Asian: And THAT’S the way it’s done, baby!

Biff: That’s my boy. Asian picking up Hype again’ attempting to hook the arms. No! Hype with a backdrop on Asian, reversed! I don’t believe it!
1. 2. 3!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the first fall. Asian INVASION!

Ed: Folks, we just saw Asian counter Hype’s backdrop with a modified sunset flip. The legs were hooked, and Hype didn’t have the strength to kick out. First fall to AI.

Biff: Damn, that was something else, wasn’t it?

Ed: Folks, while the two wrestlers and the two commentators recover from that grueling first fall, let’s go to this special update on Deck the Halls.

Biff: Do we have to?

Ed: Yes.

(An empty arena. In the center is a wrestling ring, barely lit by some dull lights. Suddenly, one spotlight illuminates the very center of the ring. In the spotlight, we see some very familiar footage.)

Voice Over: Traci Lane.

(Footage of Lane winning the then-OWA-title, and of her defending the belt in all three versions of the association.)

Voice Over: Fighting champion, Femme Fatale, wrestler of the year nominee, winner of the 1996 Wheel of Torture challenge.

(Shot of Traci after winning the last match of the Wheel of Torture tournament 1996. The footage then changes to the last moments of Mr. America winning the 1997 Tournament.)

Voice Over: Mr. America.

(Shots of America’s various interviews. Shots of America winning and defending the TV Title.)

Voice Over: Former OWA TV Champion. Winner of the 1997 Wheel of Torture tournament, wrestler of the year nominee and self-declared heat machine.

(A freeze shot of both competitors.)

Voice Over: Only one can win the title. Only one can be the champion. Who will it be?

(A sudden, frenzied series of shots and footage of various matches from the OWA/UCP/WSCW’s long and varied history people smashing jumping leaping laughing winning loosing. )

Voice Over: FIND OUT AT DECK THE HALLS! Peace on Earth.

(More shots of people being hit hurt punched pummeled smashed smacked and smoked.)

Voice Over: but not in the ring! Order now on PPV. Call your local cable company for the ultimate Christmas gift. Ho ho HO!

Ed: We’re back and Asian again taking control as we’re into the second fall of this match-up. And AI has gotten that all important first fall which gives him an psychological advantage over his opponent.

Biff: Not only that, but a lot of the pressure is off AI and onto Ricky now. If he’s smart, hell relax and use this time to rest now. A snap suplex by AI now and Ricky Hype to the mat, followed up by a knee to Hype’s back. That’s gotta smart!

Ed: Seems like AI isn’t taking your advice, Biff. Picking up Hype and right hand to the mid-section from Hype. Asian counters with a headbutt! And Hype to the ropes. Nope, reversal. DOUBLE AXE HANDLE from HYPE! Asian teetering and Hype with a dropkick! Asian down and Hype right back on him. Knee to the back from Hype!

Biff: Ricky coming back and Asian in trouble. Hype turns AI around and starts choking him on the ropes! YEAH! Referee in there. Hype breaks on four. Looks like Hype’s not taking any more crap from Asian. A pick up and a whip to the opposite ropes. Clawhold! Asian caught in Hype’s clawhold and he’s struggling to move back to the ropes. He gets them! Damn.

Ed: Referee forcing Hype to break the hold, he does but follows it up with a solid a few blows to Asian’s midsection! Both men’s ribs being worked over pretty solidly in this match, Biff.

Biff: Yeah, wonder if they actually wanted to do it that way. Anyway, Asian coming back into the match with a thrust kick! Hype staggers back and Asian with a belly-to-belly suplex! Pin’ 1. 2. Kickout! Hype’s gotta know that he’s down one fall as it is.

Ed: Asian knows it too as he starts to pound on Hype. The fans giving him what for along with Referee as he lets Hype have it. And the ref gets him off, finally!

Biff: Asian with a pickup on Hype. Toss to the ropes, Asian going for a backdrop. Elbow from Hype! Asian telegraphing and Hype capitalizing. Superkick from Hype! And a clothesline! AI out of the ring now and Hype going right after him! Yeah, go HYPE! MAKE HIM BLEED! YEAH!

Ed: Umm. While my colleague chews on some raw meat, Hype and Asian are brawling it out in front of us. Asian with a whip to the steps! Hype hit his knee hard there hobbling back and Asian with a charge, Hype ducks it! Asian hits the steel post and that had to hurt a lot Biff!

Biff: Hmmm. pain, blood, heh heh heh. Wabbits! Uh, I mean, Referee laying on the count as these two battle it out.

Referee: 4.

Biff: Hype kicking Asian in the guts.

Ed: Midsection.

Biff: and now ramming AI’s head into the ringsteps. And now Hype with a claw!

Referee: 5. 6.

Biff: For once, I’m glad Referee counts so slow.

Referee: 7.

Ed: Does Hype even know the count’s going on? Asian looks to be out of it and Hype seems to be ignoring the ref’s count!

Biff: One of them better get back in the ring, or this match is over!

Referee: 8. 9.

Biff: Hype back in the ring! Asian crumples to the ground and Referee finishes the count! And calls for the bell!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the second fall. Ricky HYPE!

(The crowd cheers as Hype starts to shuffle across the ring.)

Ed: And the crowd getting behind Hype now.

Biff: Bunch of unwashed morons. Where were they when he was getting pinned by Asian, huh? Damn, if you can’t trust wrestling fans to show some kind of common sense, what’s the world going to come to?

Ed: Well, Asian still out on the outside of the ring, Hype celebrating on the inside and.

Biff: Let me guess, another commercial, right?

(The scene is a public library. Several young students are in the middle of a major study session. All we can hear is the clock ticking in the background. Suddenly, a long-haired man in an outrageously colored costume, including a cowboy hat and sunglasses, bursts onto the scene.)

Guy: HEY! ARE YOU BORED? DOES YOUR LIFE NEED SOME EXCITEMENT? SNAP INTO ONEA THESE! OHHHHHH.

Voice: Hey, this is a library!

(Suddenly, “The Black Widow” Traci Lane comes out from a row of books. She sticks a finger in the weird guy’s chest.)

Lane: If you’ve got something to say, say it quietly. People are trying to study here.

Guy: HEY! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO? OHHHHHHH..

Voice: Put a sock in it, love.

(Godiva Rage, WSCW TV champ, comes out from another set of stacks. She stands on the other side of the weird guy, who is now looking rather nervous.)

Guy: HEY! I COULD USE SOME HELP HERE, GUYS!

Lane: Your friends can’t help you, brother. They’re illiterate, so they couldn’t get a library card. So, are you gonna shut up?

Guy: OHHHHH.

(Godiva nails the guy from behind with an elbow to the head.)

Godiva: Guess not.

(Several other WSCW stars come out from other spots in the library and start stomping (quietly) on the weird guy. Traci Lane looks over at the camera, smiles and whispers.)

Lane: WSCW, welcome to the Ultimate.

Biff: We’re back, bozos, and Hype now taking control of the match. Both men with one fall here, Ed, so it’s all up for grabs. For the whole ball a wax. The whole kit and kaboodle. The whole. Something else, I don’t know. Ed, stop me before I start doing Jim Carey impressions.

Ed: No one wants to see that, Biff. Hype now in control, tossing Asian to the ropes. Jumping side kick from Hype! Asian down again’ I don’t think Hype is as interesting in getting a pin as he is in making a point here. Whip to the ropes. Clothesline from Hype!

Biff: Like a glove!

Ed: (sighs) And Hype off the ropes himself. Diving splash on the prone Asian. 1. Kickout from AI! Looks like he’s got something left there after all, Biff.

Biff: Of course, that’s AI we’re talking about there. Hype whipping Asian to the ropes. Bodydrop by Asian! Hype down and Asian on his knees. Both men so tired one move could finish this whole thing off. Asian up now. Elbow to Hype’s mush.

Ed: Asian with a pick up on Hype and a whip to the turnbuckle. Reversal by Hype! Hype charges in’ thrust kick misses as Asian ducks down! AI with a waist lock and a take down. Pin’ 1. AI’s feet on the ropes. 2. Ref sees it! Tapping Asian, he thinks he won it!

Biff: Referee explaining he hasn’t and AI don’t look happy. Pick up on Hype, and Hype with a slap! Hardly phasing AI but he follows it up with a hard right hand! And Hype says he’s going for the Mod Bulldog! Locks it in’ Asian grabs the ropes!

Ed: Asian scouting Hype too we’ll for that move to work. Hype releasing the headlock, and Asian with a headbutt! He’s had a lot of success with that move tonight. Another! Spike elbow ala Dusty Rhodes and Hype is down.

Biff: Pin attempt by Asian. 1. 2. Kick out! Hype still in this one, if only just. Asian with a pick-up, a whip to the ropes. Spin kick missed by Asian! But he hits the ref! Referee downed, Asian on the mat and Hype’s hanging onto the ropes for dear life! Alright, Asian! Good shot!

Ed: I think it was an accident, Biff.

Biff: Sure, think what ya want, Ed. I know better. Hype sliding out of the ring now. What’s he doing? He’s digging around in that outfit of his. The FATE PIPE!

Ed: Made infamous by OWA star of yesteryear Johnny Fate. Whatever happened to him?

Biff: He probably got his own cartoon show. How should I know?!? Hype in the ring, the ref still out and Asian prone on the mat. Hype just measuring AI with that pipe. Coming off the ropes, oh this is gonna be good, hits.

Ed: NO! AI moves and Hype hits the canvas. Asian to his feet, Hype swinging that pipe, duck by AI and an atomic drop on Hype! And a clothesline! Asian has the pipe now. He clocks Ricky with it and tosses it out of the ring!

Biff: Referee shaking the cobwebs loose in that thick skull of his and getting back on the job. Asian stands Hype up. Flying head scissors from AI! That’s gotta be it. Referee counts. 1. 2. 3!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the third and final fall. ASIAN INVASION!

(The crowd boos as Asian’s hand is raised in victory. He climbs slowly to the second turnbuckle, looks out at the crowd, and slowly smiles.)

Asian: AND THAT’S THE WAY IT IS!

(The crowd boos, and Asian makes belt gestures around his waist in time-honored pro-wrestling tradition.)

Biff: Asian Invasion with a blatant cheat, nailing Ricky Hype with his own pipe and adding insult to injury with that head scissors.

Ed: And you love it?

Biff: And I LOVE it! YEAH, Asian! You rock!

Ed: Well, while Biff and Asian celebrate their victory, let’s go back to the control room.

Deck the Hall Report

Myers: Welcome to the Deck The Halls report.

Deck The Halls comes to you live on PPV on December 27th.

The Main Event will be for the Western States Championship. Traci Lane will defend against Mr. America.

Also, a 5 on 5 elimination tag team match as Virgo leads his team, known as Trinity, against Mr. America’s Team America, which features a onetime appearance of the Giant Gustaffson.

For the Western States TV Title, newly crowned champion Godiva Rage will take on Asian Invasion.

This match was signed last week, Davey Scott will return to action to take on Taleis in a Cage Match.

In other matches, Monica Brant battles Shiva, Executioner takes on Ricky Hype and there will be a HUGE Battle Royal in which the winner gets first seed in the Endurance’s Evil Challenge tournament.

Now, just prior to this event, Western States Championship Wrestling will hold the 1997 Achievement Awards ceremony as well. It’ll be a /huge/ Christmas weekend courtesy of the WSCW. Let’s go back to Sacramento!

Mr. America & Taleis

“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC plays as Mr. America and Taleis walk down to the ring in street clothes. Mr. America gets the mic from the announcer’s table and climbs into the ring as Taleis gets the crowd to boo.]

America: So, here we are again this week. Another spotlight for Mr. America, but then that’s the usual case around here isn’t it? Yeah, of course it is. So, Virgo let me slap your team around again, verbally. I mean, there’s not much else that I need to do tonight really and even though this isn’t a challenge. It’s fun to watch your guys scratch their heads trying to come up with something new against me. We have Mr. Shhh, the American Champion from the SWF. Wow, so now he’s claiming to be what every American aspires to be. It’s nice to see that his aspirations are to be me, but Shhh you don’t meet the requirements to fill the shoes of yours truly. You say you’re a champ and everyone aspires to be a champ. No, there are bums happy to be living on the streets and there are those that are happy to be the patron of mediocrity and you’re one who won’t get above the mediocre level. You see Shhh, I represent all of America, not just the lacklusters who luck their way into a title in some throwback fed. I was in the SWF and I was a champ there even before you made a mark. Hell, I didn’t do a damn thing and I was still a champion, what’s that tell you? The SWF blows, pure and simple. Tell Mr. Frenck I said that too because I’m sure he’ll have something to say or do about it, because that’s been the norm of his whole fed head career. The SWF was a great talent pool, until the first Commish stepped down, and you’ll notice the loss of talent after that happened. That’s funny isn’t it? So, Trinity comes in here and wants to take on me and a few of my friends. Face it Virgo, you don’t match up in any way to what I’ve put together. We’ve got Mr. Shhh, a champion, but someone who’s still the second tier man to the man that embodies the American Dream, the man that every American aspires to be, the man they call America’s Perfection. Shhh, you’d put up a harder fight for me if you laid down and let me get the pin’

Mr. America smirks.]

America: The reason you’re still a few years behind me is real simple Mr. Shhh, you don’t have the verbal know how or ability to draw the attention like I do. That’s why you’re still a nice little SWF player and I’m pretty much a wanted commodity around the wrestling world. Anyhow, we have Pagan. The guy comes from Japan where he’s dubbed a gaijin by folks and I’m sure he’ll say he was treated over there with respect. Yeah, I believe that as much as I believe that you’re a threat. The Japanese have a tradition of judging on ability and you lack that, like you lack the common sense to realize you’re following a moron on a one way road to destruction. Sandman? He lost to Phoenix and he calls himself the SWF’s original Tough Man. Sorry, That’s Patrick Bordeau. Anyone from the SWF could’ve told you that. Rigor and Mortis, a waste of money just like the other SWF throwbacks. Heh, the best part is these guys want to make themselves known as the dominant force in e-fed wrestling. Guys, if you have to boost your egos by sitting behind a computer and playing wrestling, then make that your job because you sure as hell won’t achieve that in the wrestling world. It’s comments like that, that will be the reason you don’t succeed. Face it, I brought in the top brass around here and even got Gus to step on in one more time. The best part is yet to come though.

Mr. America tosses the mic to Taleis.]

Taleis: I haven’t got a lot to say. My talkative friend here has pretty much said it all. Virgo, your team of losers stands exactly ZIPPO chance of beating the most elite group that the WSCW has ever, and will ever, see. We’ve got ex-champions and we have THE champion. We have the biggest man ever to grace this federation, in all its incarnations. We have the heat machine himself, and then, there’s me. Virgo, deep down, you know that there’s no way you can win’ In fact, the best you can hope for is not being humiliated out of the WSCW but don’t count on it.

Taleis twirls the mic around for a moment.]

Taleis: There’s two more people that I need to talk to, and then this interview is done. First of all, Asian Invasion. I have two words for you -- SHUT. UP. Now, we move on to the cripple, the whiner, the man who has been put out of action for not one, but TWO weeks by myself and Mr. America. Davey “Sexy Renegade Boy” Scott. This PPV is gonna be great for me. Not only do I get to pound on Virgo’s gang of wankers, I get to climb into a steel cage against the man of a thousand gimmicks himself! Davey, what you got from me and America last weekend was a sample, a very SMALL sample, of what you’re gonna get at Deck the Halls. Do I have a lot of experience in cage matches? No. The last cage I was in was at Caged Fury, and I did pretty we’ll in that one. Do I need a lot of experience to win this matchup? Hell, no. Why? Because I’m just too good to lose to you, Davey. [Taleis smirks.]

“Sweet Dreams” by Marilyn Manson plays as Taleis exits the ring and walk back up the aisle.]

Mr. America vs. Adam Sanchez

Announcer: This is match is one fall. First. Already in the ring, weighing 275 pounds. This is Mr. America.

Adam Sanchez in standing in the locker room wearing a hooded warm-up jacket. Only a shadowy silhouette of his face can be seen as the hood covers most of his head.]

Sanchez: Mr. America, you talk about gimmicks and you talk about titles. Tonight yours is on the line, and I’m going to give you what you want. No gimmicks, no tricks. Just me and my wrestling.

Sanchez brushes by the camera gruffly as he walks to the entranceway.]

Announcer: And now, hailing from Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at 227 pounds. Adam Sanchez!!!

No music plays. No fireworks. Even the crowd remains strangely silent. Not even the boos that usually accompany Adam’s entrances. After a short delay, Sanchez walks purposefully down the aisle. His harlequin singlet is visible under the warm-up top which still hides his face. He climbs into the ring and unzips the warm-up. He slides off the jacket and his long dark hair has been shaved down to a mere stubble. Adorning his head is a red amateur style headgear.]

Ed: Adam Sanchez is back and he looks focused.

Biff: Well. America’s always in a foul mood. I don’t think I’ve seen Mr. America smile since 1985.

Ed: There’s the bell and this one is underway. Lockup. Sanchez with a nice monkey flip to start things off and Sanchez nails America with a springboard rana. America is a bit shaken up, Sanchez nails him with a flying forearm and a pin’ one. two. Kickout by America and he slides out of the ring.

Biff: Smart move on the part of Mr. America as he tries to get his bearings. Sanchez starting a flurry and Mr. America doesn’t want any part of that. He climbs on the ring apron and spits at Sanchez, who takes a swing and America is back on the floor, grabbing Sanchez by the legs and pulling him under the ropes.

Ed: America with a punch. NO! Blocked by Sanchez and Sanchez nailing America once. twice. Three times and America drops down, grabbing the tights of Sanchez and pulling him throat first onto the guardrailing.

Biff: Sanchez is grabbing at his throat. He’s hurting now. America rolls him back into the ring, and follows him in’ he climbs up and enters the ring and he sets up Sanchez for a camel clutch and this isn’t going to feel great on that throat right now.

Ed: Referee asking Sanchez if he wants to submit and Sanchez is telling him. No. America gets up and drops an elbow on Sanchez and another and another. He picks up Sanchez and gives him a whip and HOTSHOT by Mr. America. cover. one. two. th. Kickout by Adam Sanchez.

Biff: Referee was a little slow on the count there.

Ed: He was not.

Biff: Whatever. What’s this? America going for a piledriver?

Ed: NO! Hurricanrana by Adam Sanchez and Sanchez is up struggling to his feet. America up and charging. Sanchez with a clothesline and a second and a third. Sanchez with a cross corner whip and he goes for a handspring elbow but America pulls the referee in his way and the referee gets nailed and is down.

Biff: America out of the corner, but Sanchez with a backdrop. Sanchez going for a slingshot and he rolls it into a Boston Crab! But there’s no referee.

Ed: Mr. America in a great deal of pain. This is Sanchez’ finisher. He has to be giving up right here. Look at him nodding his head but there’s no referee and here comes Taleis!!

Biff: Taleis runs to the ringside area and takes Adam Sanchez down with a shouldertackle to his knee.

Ed: Mr. America is up and starts to stomp on Adam Sanchez as Taleis gets back to his feet. Adam Sanchez reaches up and throws Taleis into Mr. America, by grabbing Taleis’ trunks.

Biff: Adam gets back to his feet as Taleis does as well. Taleis charges, but is backdropped by Adam Sanchez. Mr. America gets back to his feet and charges Adam Sanchez. Mr. America goes for a lariat, but Adam Sanchez backdrops him as well. Taleis takes Adam Sanchez down with a legdrag takedown.

Ed: Taleis and Adam start to trade blows, and here comes security. They’ve gotten the trio split up and they are escorting America and Taleis out of the ringside area.

Biff: Adam Sanchez putting up a bit better fight than Scott did last week.

Ed: The fans are cheering for Sanchez as he stands in the middle of the ring. We’ve got some comments in the locker room from Virgo. Let’s go back there now.

Virgo

{Virgo is sitting in his room, with Trinity. Virgo is stroking his chin thoughtfully as he faces the group.}

Rigor: “The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout......”

Mortis: “Down came the Chaos, and wiped the spider out.”

Virgo: “That’s right, Dead. Traci Lane, and the rest of America’s lackeys are going to find out just how powerful chaos is.”

Pagan: “But aren’t you worried about losing? You don’t really think outsiders will be allowed to win at a home show, do you?”

Virgo: “You worry too much, Pagan. America and Co. may be the President’s prized pets, but even he must submit to the rules of Chaos and disorder. Trinity may lose, but we guarantee to take a few of them with us.”

Rigor: “Mmmmm. Meat.”

Mortis: “Yes. Fresh meat, too.”

Virgo: “Trinity drove Mr. America out of the SWF, and he thought he could hide here. Well, he was wrong. Trinity followed him, and we will continue to do so, from here to the ends of the Earth if necessary.”

Mortis: “Oh, by the way, I took out our insurance policy. We are all covered.”

Virgo: “Good. You can never pay too much in insurance. Come Deck The Halls, America and his goons will be singing a different holiday Carol. And the only thing he will get for Christmas, is a one way ticket to hell.”

Pagan: “Of course. Because you know what they say....”

“If you aren’t with Trinity, you’re road kill!”

Ed: Coming up, wait, there is something, wait, what he doing here.

Davey Scott

Davey Scott climbs over the guard rail, and slides into the ring wearing jeans with some cuts in them and a white T-shirt, with combat boots]

Biff: Isn’t he supposed to be in the ICU?

Davey: You know, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the entire game plan here. Mr. America is afraid to face me. For the record, Mr. America has not beaten me via skill. Halloween Horror, he beat due to luck, last week. He called in his lackey, Taleis to do his dirty work. You know what I think. America is scared off me, he is scared that I can take care of my business all by myself. You notice, he had Monica Brant and Taleis come after me, so he could do the only thing he does best. Jabber. When I took care of Monica, who was by my side, no one but I. When I took care of you America, I did it all by myself. I didn’t need any help from anybody. So I guess that means one thing, you are just too chicken and face me full force that you sent your lackey in but never fear America, one day. It will be just you and me, and you won’t have anybody to save your sorry ass.

the crowd begins to give a slight reaction]

Davey: Taleis, you are about as blind as they come. You say I am a no talent? Well, at least I am not someone haven’t lackey like you. Mr. America says jump, you say how high. Taleis, there is not one person that could permanently disable, nor send me to imprisonment in an ICU, cause your living proof is right here. Just cause the infirmary people say that I am not allowed to wrestle for 2 weeks, doesn’t mean a god[censor][censor]! You shall find out what talent is when we meet in the cage and you find you can’t even get up cause you have no brains left to get bashed in’ Monica Brant. MEET YOUR MASTER!!!!!

Davey begins to smile and laugh]

Davey: You know, you say you are the wrong woman to mess with. Well, you can kiss my ass, cause not only have you insulted me the first time, but now you attacked me after getting attacked from behind, gee. What can I say?? Monica, you may be the wrong woman to mess with, but I am the wrong man to piss off, and you have excelled in that category. A fair warning to you two, you better watch your backs tonight, cause you shall never know where I might be.

Ed: The commissioner is coming down, and he is in the ring with Davey Scott.

Commish: Davey, at first you were a bit annoying, now you are outright obnoxious, you better watch your act or you shall be seeing the door pretty soon! I won’t have second thoughts about it either!

The Commish is just looking in his face, and Davey giving him a cold stare, and all of a sudden, without much movement, Davey spits in his face. The Commish wipes the spit from his face and motions towards the back. Several security guys hits the ring and subdue Scott, who fights it all the way.]

Commish: Get him the hell out of here.

Handcuffs are placed on Scott’s hands and he is literally drug from the ring and up the aisle, kicking and swearing. A shot at the face of the Commissioner shows him telling the ring announcer to keep the show going, as he heads up the aisle. The ring announcer allows the Commissioner to pass before getting into the ring.]

Ed: I’m in shock.

Biff: Hey. Davey Scott must not like being employed. That’s all I got to say about that.

Announcer: This match is one fall. It is for the Western States Television Championship.

(Monica Brant is in her dressing room. She wears a rather small towel around her, leaving very little to the imagination. She smiles and address the camera.)

Monica: Hello, out there. I’m sure you’re enjoying the view, but I actually have something to say tonight, unlike my opponent Godiva Rage. First, my sincere wishes go out to Davey Scott. (She smiles a little, then looks serious.) Davey, I know that you’re. injured (she smiles again, and then tries to control it.) And I wanted to say. (smile, she’s definitely holding back laughter now.) That I hope. you recover soon.

(Monica bursts out laughing, and for almost a minute can’t quite get the words out. Finally, she gets control.)

Monica: Sorry Traci, I tried.

{With that, Monica turns her back to the camera and opens the towel. The camera fades to black before we can see anything that would make the censor’s blush.)

Western States TV Championship: Godiva Rage vs. Monica Brant

(Dark red smoke starts to stream from the locker rooms as “Superbitch” by 2Preciious plays. Monica Brant walks through the smoke, dressed in her long robe and a Santa Claus hat. The crowd gives her a warm greeting, cut with a few boos. She walks to the ring and drops the robe, revealing a grey bodysuit cut to reveal part of her abdomen.)

Announcer: This is the challengers, weighing in at 157 pounds. She is a member of the Femme Fatale. This is. Monica Brant!

Ed: I wonder if either of these ladies will hold back.

Long pause]

Both Ed and Biff: Nah.

Announcer: And now, the Western States Television Champion.

Godiva Rage heads down the ring with a dance troupe. They seem to be doing a choreographed routine. They circle the ring and Godiva enters the ring.]

Announcer: Weighing 158 pounds. She hails from London England. She is also a member of the Femme Fatale. This is Godiva Rage!

Godiva Rage begins to strip of her clothing to reveal her skimpy ring attire, much to the male fan’s approval.]

Biff: I’ll give her a 10.

Ed: Sure you will. I think with you, it’s more like a 5

Biff: Hey now!

Ed: There’s the bell and both girls circling the ring. Lock up and Monica with a push down. She blows Godiva a kiss as Godiva gets to her feet.

Biff: There’s another lock up and this time Godiva with a drop toe hold and she slaps the back of Brant’s head and gets up, laughing. This time blowing Brant a kiss and giving her a wink as well. I really think these two are playing around in this match.

Ed: Could be just because they are both in the Femme’s that they are taking it easy. A third lock up and Brant rakes the eyes of Rage and picks her up and slams her down. Elbowdrop from Brant and another but she misses a third as Rage rolls away and gets to her feet. She clotheslines Brant up and over the top rope.

Biff: Rage out after her. She grabs Brant by the hair and rams her head into the ringsteps and then whips her into the guardrailing. Did we say they were going to take it easy on each other?

Ed: Rage grabs a drink from a fan and throws it in the face of Brant. Rage grabs another and throws it in the face of a fan as the crowd pops wildly. Clothesline by Rage and Brant is down. Godiva Rage is looking around. She picks up a chair and swings wildly at Brant who ducks at the last possible moment and Rage cracks the ringpost with the chair.

Biff: Rage dropped that chair like it was on fire. Brant with a kick to the midsection and she has her up with a vertical suplex on the floor! She’s going to need to get this match back in the ring and she’s rolling Rage back into the ring.

Ed: Brant with a spinning power bomb. cover. one. two. Kickout by Rage. Brant clamps on a figure four leglock and Rage is not liking this in the least. She starts to pull back. The referee asking her for a submission. Rage shaking her head, continue to move backwards. She finally grabs the ropes and we have a break.

Biff: Brant is up and so is Rage, but not for long as Brant clips her from behind with a shoulder. Brant setting up and PILEDRIVER! Cover. one. two. Kickout by Rage. Brant going to the top. Rage is up and bounces into the ropes and Brant falls, straddling the top turnbuckle.

Ed: Rage limps over and starts to climb up and Brant moves up. Both are standing on the top turnbuckle. this could get nasty. Rage with a rake of the eyes and and…

Biff: I think she’s pointing to you, Ed.

Ed: What? Rage has Brant up and. get out of the way!

Rage drops Brant off the turnbuckle through the announcer’s table with a powerbomb. All sound is lost from the announce position. Both Rage and Brant lie in a heap on the floor of the arena. Referee is out there checking on the two of them, as the crowd just goes crazy. Ed is standing around trying to get things working again and Biff is nowhere to be found. Rage is slow to her feet as she grabs Brant by the hair. She rolls her into the ring and only then do we see that under that pile was Biff Franklin’ Rage rolls into the ring and drapes an arm across Brant. Referee counts. one. two. three! Bell rings as the fans go wild about this match. ]

Announcer: Winner of the match, in 22: 41 and STILL Western States Television Champion. Godiva Rage!

As Rage’s music plays, we see the copyright info at the bottom of the screen as the picture fades out.]