Traci Lane defends the OWA Championship one week ahead of her match with Jungle Mask as she takes on current OWA TV Champion Shogun; Mike Mustang takes on Taleis; Amazon Woman makes a brief appearance; Wendy Ryker tries to derail Billy Smith’s bid for the North American Championship
Ed: Welcome to OWA Championship Wrestling. We are only one week away from Caged Fury and this crowd is on fire. As usual my cohost for tonight, is Biff Franklin. I understand you have gotten yourself into a little trouble.
Biff: Me? What are you talking about? Seems as though the BOD didn’t appreciate my talking to Mike Mustang last week at ringside and have asked me to remain at the broadcast booth tonight.
Ed: That’s it?
Biff: That’s it.
Ed: That’s not what I’ve heard.
Biff: (looking serious) What did you hear?
Ed: Nothing. Tonight, Traci Lane defends the OWA Championship against the OWA TV Champion, Shogun. Of course, if Traci retains the title tonight, she’ll go on next week to meet Jungle Mask in a mask vs. title match. If Shogun should win tonight, then he’ll be able to select an opponent of his choice for Caged Fury.
Biff: He’ll probably pick someone easy.
Ed: Don’t say it.
Biff: like Ricky Hype.
Ed: Let’s go down to ringside for our first match.
Mike Mustang vs. Taleis
Announcer: This match is one fall. First coming down the aisle, weighing in at 245 pounds. Here is Taleis! And his opponent. Being led down the aisle by his tag team partner, Johnny Stallion, weighing in at 245 pounds. Here is Mike Mustang!
Ed: Hold on. Elaine Bryant is with Mike Mustang. Let’s go to these comments.
Bryant: I’m with Mike Mustang. You’ve not been doing we’ll in singles competition.
Mustang: OWA. I have been to the top of this mountain. Former TV Champ. Former Tag Team Champ. I know what it’s like to be the best in your field and now I am finding out what it’s like to be a jobber in that same career I love. There is no one to blame for my current performance except myself. Stallion, I have let you down and I have let myself down, but mark my words you are looking at a FUTURE CHAMPION! I will be back on top of the OWA. NOTHING is going to hold me back!
Ed: Strong words from Mike Mustang and here we go. These two met last week at a House Show and Taleis came out on top. Let’s see if he can pull out another win here tonight, or if Mustang can save face by defeating him. So. Biff. are you training at all?
Biff: What are you talking about?? You know I’m retired! Why would I be training?
Ed: No reason. There’s the bell. Lockup. Whip by Taleis. Reversal by Mustang. Mustang nails him with a kick and a dropkick by Mustang. Taleis up and misses a clothesline, and Mustang nails him with a Gorilla Press and slam.
Biff: Mustang off the ropes and Taleis nails him with a shoulderblock and Taleis with an STF. Mustang makes it to the ropes causing a break. Taleis with a Russian legsweep and a piledriver by Taleis. cover. one. two. Kickout by Mustang.
Ed: Taleis with a cross corner whip. Reversal by Mustang and a stinger splash by Mustang. Jackknife powerbomb by Mustang. cover. one. two. Kickout by Taleis. Mustang with another cross corner and Taleis avoids the splash this time and Mustang goes out over the turnbuckle! What are you doing??
Biff: Just hush.
Ed: Biff has handed that Fate pipe to Johnny Stallion. Taleis whips Mustang into the ring post and Mustang is now busted wide open. Taleis rolls Mustang back into the ring and OH MY! Stallion just NAILS Taleis with that pipe that YOU gave him, Biff.
Biff: I. I didn’t! Stallion took it!
Ed: Stallion rolls Taleis back into the ring and Mustang with the cover. one. two. three!! This farce is over! You are going to be in so much trouble.
Announcer: Winner of the match in 9: 32, Mike Mustang!
Biff: Me? What for? I had nothing to do with this.
Ed: I saw you hand that to Johnny Stallion.
Biff: You saw nothing, you jerk.
Scene opens with Shelly Marks making her way through Maxximum Fitness toward the Elite’s own personal dressing room. Shelly enters. The Shocker is waiting for her along with a man in a barbers coat.]
Marks: Is it time for a trim, Shockman?
Shocker: In a way.
Shocker sits in the chair, the barber pulls out his sheers and begins to shave the Shocker head, bald]
Marks: Shocker what are you doing? You can’t be shaving those beautiful blonde locks? Yours is the only hair in the OWA that I am jealous of.
Shocker: Afraid so.
Shocker: Please wait till he’s done, I’ll explain.
Moments later he finishes. The Shocker gets up.]
Shocker: As of late there has been a change of attitude here in the OWA. Between the new and the recycled, I don’t know which is worse.
Shocker: Jungle Mask. I don’t think anyone is confused by that disguise. Next time Miss Mask, I’ll rip your head off and remove your mask, then the whole world will know your real identity. A couple other wrestler that comes to mind is first, Shogun. We have had some great matches, it’s good to see that someone respectable took the TV belt back from that impostor Asian Invasion. I look forward to our next go around. Oh yeah, Anthony doesn’t want the North American Title, but I will gladly take his shot. The Yellow Warrior has hid from me long enough. As for the new, the Ivy Boy Wonder doesn’t want any of me. I have destroyed legends and chased off more wrestlers than anyone in the OWA. And If Double T wants some, I’ll knock him into next week.
Marks: How does that explain the hair cut? New look, new attitude?
Shocker: You could say that. Or more like, serving notice to all of the OWA. The Shocker’s pissed and he ain’t gonna take it.
Billy Smith vs. Wendy Ryker
Announcer: This match is one fall. First, coming down the aisle, weighing in at 245. This is Billy Smith! And his opponent, coming down the aisle, being accompanied to the ring by the giant, Gustaffson, weighing in at 149 pounds. Here is the “Wild Child” Wendy Ryker!!
Ed: Smith attacks Ryker as she’s getting into the ring. He nails her with a dropkick to the knee and a DDT. cover. one. tw. Kickout by Ryker. Smith with a clothesline and another and another. Doctor bomb by Smith and another cover. one. two. kickout by Ryker.
Biff: It’s been all Billy Smith. Jumping DDT by Smith. He pulls Ryker up and Ryker with a facerake and another and a chokehold. one. two. three. four and she breaks it before the five. Inverted atomic drop by Ryker and a clothesline. one. two. Kickout by Smith.
Ed: Wendy with a sleeper, but Smith counters with a jawbreaker. Smith off the ropes with a flying forearm and cover. one. two. Kickout by Ryker. Smith sets up for a piledriver but Wendy with a backdrop. Wendy with a German suplex and a clothesline.
Biff: Ryker goes for a clothesline, but Smith ducks and sends her out over the top rope to the floor. Smith goes out after her. Smith with a whip, but Ryker reverses it, sending Smith into the guardrailing. Ryker moves in, but Smith nails her with a hotshot on the railing.
Ed: Smith rolls Ryker into the ring. He places her on the top turnbuckle and belly to belly superplex! Cover. one. two. three!!! Smith gets the nod.
Announcer: Winner of this match in 17: 11, Billy Smith!
Biff: Great match, but it’s Smith going on to meet the Rainbow Warrior for the North American title at Caged Fury.
Elimination Match: Virgo vs. Tom Tomorrow vs. Mr. America
Announcer: This match is an elimination triangle match. First, coming down the aisle, weighing in at 275 pounds. Here is Virgo! And his opponent, weighing in at 310 pounds. Here is the “Man From The Future” Tom Tomorrow and their opponent, weighing in at 275 pounds here is. *pause as the announcer double checks his cue card*. Ramon Hall?
“Rollercoaster” by Red Hot Chili Peppers play as the lights dim. A disco ball flickers around the arena as Mr. America dances down to the ring with a shirt on that says, “rOb 4 life” on it. The crowd goes crazy as a “rOb” chant starts up. Mr. America dances down to the ring and gets the mic from the ring.]
Ed: What in the world?
Mr. America: Hey mangs!
Mr. America points to Tom Tomorrow and Virgo.]
Mr. America: You know what mangs. You just don’t get it yet. Hey audience mangs! Do the mangs in the ring get it yet?
Mr. America: See mangs, you’re still trying to figure the American Guy out.
Mr. America walks over to the commentator’s booth and hands Biff a rOb shirt.]
Mr. America: Here ya go mang. I know you’re my biggest fan so I gotta treat you right mang. Now mangs, it’s time for the American Guy to show you something. You know mangs, I ooze what every American aspires to ooze. Nachocheesemo!
Mr. America rips off his rOb shirt and does a bicep flex as a group of fans to his right go crazy.]
Mr. America: Hey mangs, they get it!
Mr. America gives the finger to the fans.]
Mr. America: rOb 4 life mang!
Mr. America climbs into the ring.]
Biff: Hey. A free shirt! That’s cool! What the?!?
Ed: Virgo and Tom Tomorrow attack Mr. America and they are pounding him. They aren’t even worried about themselves. They want a crack at America and how. Tom Tomorrow with a belly to back suplex. Virgo with a powerbomb.
Biff: This can’t be fair!!! Virgo with a belly to belly suplex and cover. one. two. Kickout by Mr. America and Tom Tomorrow just sat back and watched! Virgo with a whip and YEEESH! Tom Tomorrow backdrops Mr. America out of the ring. They both go out and double whip into the ringpost. This isn’t a tag match.
Ed: This is all we’ll within the rules of a triangle match. Mr. America is now bleeding profusely as he was whipped into the ring post. They rolls him back into the ring and Virgo nails him with a powerbomb and Tomorrow nails him with a double underhook suplex. cover. one. two. three!!!
Announcer: Mr. America is eliminated.
Biff: You’ve got to be kidding me! This was a setup or something. There’s no way that should have happened.
Ed: In the ring we have a lock up. What the? Mr. America just pulled out the ref and rammed him into the ring post. In the ring, Tom Tomorrow with a vertical suplex. Mr. America grabs a chair and slides into the ring and nails Tom Tomorrow with that chair.
Biff: Hahaha! Payback, baby! And he nails Virgo with it. We have some officials coming down. This match has been stopped. Mr. America is working over both with a chair. We’re going to have to get some order restored. Let’s take this quick break.
OWA Fans, don’t forget to tune into OWA’s Caged Fury, only on PPV next weekend. And in May. Be prepared as the OWA goes on a. Crime Spree! Live on PPV.
Camera shows Ricky Hype walking down the ramp-way in his green and white tuxedo top with tails, and wearing a “DANGER – HAZARD AHEAD” T-shirt. He is shaking hands and kissing girls left and right. In one hand he is carrying a covered serving dish. He makes his way over to Ed and Biff]
Ricky Hype: Good evening gentlemen. I’ve come down to pay tribute to the best OWA announcer ever. And to celebrate his birthday I’ve brought with me a double layered, triple fudge with banana pudding center birthday cake!
Ricky takes the top off the serving dish to reveal a rather large and gooey birthday cake, happy birthday Ed written on the top.]
Ed: Ricky, it’s not my birthday.
Ricky: It’s not? WELL, we can’t let this wonderful cake go to waste now, can we? Have some cake, BIFF!!
Ricky takes the cake and slams it into the face of Biff Franklin and rubs it all over]
Ricky, after grabbing Biff’s mic: HA! HA! HA! HA! I guess you CAN have your cake AND eat it too!
Ricky turns and walks back down the ramp-way, laughing uncontrollably]
Ed: You could have shared, you know.
Biff: Why that?!? You shut up! I’ll be back!
Biff gets up and leaves the ringside area]
OWA Championship: Traci Lane vs. Shogun
Announcer: This match is one fall and it is for the OWA Championship! First the challenger, weighing in at 230 pounds. He’s accompanied to the ring by Pretty Boy Monty. He’s the OWA TV Champion. Here is Shogun! And his opponent. Coming down the aisle, along with the giant, Gustaffson, weighing in at 194 pounds. She’s the current OWA Champion. Here is “The Black Widow” Traci Lane!
Ed: Biff has yet to join us. However we have a bell and this one is for the OWA Championship. Lock up and Traci with a whip. Reversal by Shogun. Traci ducks a clothesline and Shogun ducks a clothesline and Shogun with a spinning mule kick and oh my goodness. Joining me at the broadcast booth. None other than Hall of Famer, Amazon Woman. Welcome. You’re in luck as Biff is out cleaning himself up.
Amazon: I’m sure he is. That was very funny. I’ve been watching Ricky Hype since I’ve been gone and he’s looking really good in singles competition but I’m here to watch this championship match. I saw the seat was empty and thought you might like some company.
Ed: Always a pleasure. Shogun drives a knee to the back of the champion. How have you been doing? I’m sure OWA fans would love to know. Shogun off the ropes with a shoulderblock and Traci moves out of the way of an elbowdrop.
Amazon: I’ve been great! Teaching is doing wonders for me. I’m totally at peace with my fate. Nice swinging neckbreaker by Traci Lane. My students are wonderful.
Ed: That’s great to here. In the ring. Shogun hits Traci with a savate kick and a flying fistdrop. cover. one. Kickout by Traci. Amazon Woman, I’m going to ask you the obvious question. Are you Jungle Mask?
Amazon: Even my students are asking me that but I assure you, I may not be competing, but I have been keeping my eye on the OWA, and I have to tell you that this Jungle Mask person has a lot of people fooled that she is me. Well, I’m right here and if Jungle Mask wants to prove that she’s not me. She can come right on out and prove it. Oh. Too bad. Shogun missing that cartwheel kick. Traci Lane is capitalizing on that with a nice bulldog headlock.
Ed: Interested comments. I wonder if Jungle Mask is in the building. I’d like to get her out here and see for myself. Not to offend you, Amazon Woman, but you both have an uncanny resemblance. Traci with slap and a jackknife powerbomb. cover. one. two. Kickout by Shogun.
Amazon: None taken. I can see how people would think that we were the same. *her cell phone rings and she answers it, mumbling into it. * If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I need to take this call. Thanks for letting me sit here. It was a pleasure to view this match with you.
Amazon walks out of the arena]
Ed: Amazon Woman. It’s great to see her here, even if only for the moment. Back in the ring. Shogun with a Yakuza kick. Traci ducks and hits him with a chokeslam! She’s got him up and. Gorilla Press Piledriver! Cover. one. two. three!!!!
Announcer: Winner of the match in 24: 24, and STILL OWA Champion. Traci Lane!!!
Ed: Whoa! Jungle Mask has slid into the ring. She’s pointing at Traci Lane. We’re going to have a showdown right here! And Amazon Woman hasn’t reentered the Arena. This is very confusing. Traci tries to get at Jungle Mask, but official charge the ring and try to keep them separated. We’re outta time for this week. We’ll see you next week at Caged Fury! Good night everyone!
Biff – just now returning: What did I miss??