Traci Lane decides who she will defend her championship against at Caged Fury. OWA TV Champion Asian Invasion defends against Shogun. Anthony Hazard challenges for the North American Championship
Ed: Welcome to another edition of OWA Championship Wrestling. I’m Ed Bagel along with my cohost. Biff Franklin.
Biff: And tonight’s highlight will be. ME! Haha. My guest in the Voice box will be none other than the Gimmick Guru. Davey “The Sexy Renegade Solder” Scott! I suppose it could be worse. It could be that sniveling, groveling Ricky Hype.
Ed: I thought you would have learned after that Johnny Fate incident.
Biff: Like Hype is any sort of challenge.
Ed: Also on tonight’s card. for the Internet Title. Rainbow Warrior defends against Anthony Hazard and for the OWA TV Championship, Asian Invasion defends against Shogun. This TV title shot has a lot more importance tonight, as the person who holds the title after tonight, gets a title shot against the OWA Champion next week.
Biff: I’m going to predict that Shogun will walk all over Asian Invasion. Invasion’s an alright guy, but Shogun has been intensely training for this match.
Ed: Let’s go down to ringside for our first match.
Danny Bouchard vs. Tara Quinn
Announcer: This match is one fall. First coming down the aisle, weighing in at 255 pounds. Here is Danny Bouchard!! And his opponent, weighing in at 129.
Ed: Tara Quinn hits the ring and nails Danny Bouchard. whip by Quinn and tilt a whirl suplex and an enzuigiri. palm blow and a sunset flip. one. two. th. kickout by Bouchard and he slips outside to regroup.
Biff: What the. from behind. it’s Gustaffson. he nails Bouchard and powerbombs him on the floor. we’ve got serious trouble. ACK! Here comes Gus. I’m outta here.
Gustaffson: [pointing over to the fallen Bouchard] You vant to repeat vhat you said boy? You tink you big man? Talk about da Giant and tink you get avay vith it? You vanna talk about me BOY!?! You tink I’m dumb? You tink you big man? You vatch your mouth. Unlike many here, I don’t take lip from new boy. You remember dat. You too, Virgo. Remember vhat I said. You keep outta my business or you be next.
[Gustaffson walks back to the locker room. as the crowd pops.]
Announcer: Winner of the match as a result of a count-out. Tara Quinn!
Biff retakes his seat: I’ve never seen the big guy so mad.
Ed: We’ve gotta get some help out here for Danny Bouchard. Let’s take this quick break.
25 wrestlers inside one steel cage and there can be only one winner. Plus, Traci Lane defends the OWA title against a challenger of her choice. This and much more as the OWA presents.
Caged Fury 1997
Only on PPV. March 9th.
Ed: Danny Bouchard was able to make it out of here on his own. Looks like he’ll be okay but I think the feud between Bouchard and Gustaffson is just starting.
Biff: That Bouchard looks like a tough character. I dunno if I’d be messing with him that way.
Ed: Let’s get down to ringside.
Johnny Stallion vs. Ricky Hype
Announcer: This match is one fall. First coming down the aisle, with his tag team partner, Mike Mustang, weighing in at 275 pounds. Here is Johnny Stallion! And his opponent. Being led to the ring by his manager, Sir Goodwin, weighing in at 257 pounds. Here is “The Show” Ricky Hype!
Ed: This is a rematch from one of last week’s House Show. Johnny Stallion wanted a rematch and this is his chance.
Biff: Stallion was robbed. that Hype guy just doesn’t have what it takes. I think I’ll go down to ringside and talk with my good friend Mike Mustang.
Ed: Where are you g.. Oh. forget it.. Biff Franklin going down to ringside. He’s NOT supposed to do that but. We do have a bell and there’s a lock up. Hype hits early with a kick to the midsection and he follows it up with a Russian legsweep and a cover. one. Kickout by Stallion. Biff and Mustang talking to each other, there at ringside. Oh my. Joining me at ringside is none other than the OWA Commissioner.
Commish: Thanks Ed. You know. I’ve just about had it with all the interference and attacks and vandalism being caused by OWA Wrestlers. I’m going to start handing out fines. Suspensions. Whatever it takes to get this place cleaned up. Stallion with a nice kick there and Ricky Hype avoids a fistdrop. Excellent move on the part of Hype. What’s Franklin doing at ringside?
Ed: Good question. Hype with a backdrop. NO. DDT by Stallion. I think people are a bit on edge with Caged Fury coming up. Intimidation is an important factor in Caged Fury. Hype with a flying bulldog and a cover. one. two. Kickout by Stallion.
Commish: Great move again by Hype. he’s an up and coming superstar here in the OWA. Hype with a clothesline and a clawhold. Stallion breaks that up with an eye gouge. Stallion with a swinging neckbreaker. I’m rather disappointed in Gustaffson. As someone representing our federation at the TNM tournament, if he had a problem with Bouchard, he should have come talked to me.
Ed: That could be true but Gustaffson doesn’t like to do much talking out of the ring. he lets his actions speak for him. Hype with his Flying Bulldog! It’s over. one. two. Now wait just a minute. Biff Franklin put Stallion’s feet on the bottom turnbuckle. Hype is up and yelling at Franklin.
Commish: I’m going to have to go down there.
Ed: Hype turns around and Stallion nails him with a Superkick! Cover. one. two. three! What a disgusting display by Biff Franklin. During that count he knocked Hype’s foot off the bottom rope!
Commish: That’s it. I’ve had it with this federation. I. I quit!
Announcer: Winner of the match in 16: 15, Johnny Stallion!
Commish walks off: Ed: What the? He what?
[Anthony Hazard’s music starts to play as the lights dim. Hazard walks out in plain street clothes and begins to make his way to the ring. All the while shaking hands, high fiving, and hugging his fans. Anthony walks around the ring once, stops at the announcers both, grabs a microphone and jumps into the ring]
Hazard, climbs up on a second turn-buckle facing the crowd: All right!!! Yeah!
[The crowd goes crazy as Anthony jumps down and walks to the center of the ring]
Hazard: How about them Extremists huh? Yeah!
[The crowd goes crazy]
Hazard: Ok, But that’s not why I’m here. First, tonight I was scheduled to face the Yellow Warrior for the Internet title but I don’t want that belt. I’m here to talk about.........a different belt.
[The crowd goes crazy]
Hazard: That’s right. MY!!!! Belt. I’m here to simply make a challenge, to Traci Lane, for my belt. I’m here to say, Traci. I beat you before, I just beat Gussy, I beat everyone else, put up the belt.
Hazard smiles and walks around in a circle as the crowd goes crazy: You know you want to prove to everyone, including yourself, that you can hold onto my belt against me. You also know, if it wasn’t for me beating you, you would never be the superior wrestler you are today. Face it Traci, I’m the best champion the OWA has seen.
[The crowd has mixed emotions]
Hazard: And I’m sorry if this sounds like an attack on you Traci. And I’m sorry for the behavior of the Extreme ones. But with all the new blood in the league, and let me tell you, some of these guys and gals have what it takes. We has-beens not only have to fight for matches, we have to fight to keep our own fans as well!
[The crowd goes crazy with a volley of no's]
Hazard, smiles: Thank you, I love all of you.
[Anthony waves at the crowd]
Hazard: Traci, I’m also sorry if it sounds like I’ve got a big head or something. But face it hun, you said it not me. You’re the one who called me a legend, I’m just making sure everyone else realizes it. I mean come on, everyone knows I’m the only wrestler in OWA history to hold BOTH the TV Title AND the OWA Championship title at the same time. As a matter of fact, I’m the one who put together the FIRST and ONLY stable in OWA history, to hold every title there is, The Elite. Hell, I am a legend.
[The crowd goes crazy]
Hazard: So come on Lane, put it up. You know we have great matches, besides, everyone wants to see us battle it out again. You know as we’ll as I do, we BOTH would rather have a challenge, instead of a walk over match. This is what we do Traci, we wrestle, were two of the greatest wrestlers there is or ever will be. Let’s do it Traci, let’s give everyone a match they will never forget. A nice clean all wrestling match, where at the end the winner will have won because he is better than her.
Anthony smiles: Or, of course, if she is better than him.
[Hazard spins in a circle then jumps out of the ring. He stops at the announcers both and hands Biff the mic, then walks back to the locker rooms, all the while shaking hands, high fiving and hugging his fans:
Ed: There’s the challenge thrown out by Anthony Hazard and he’s declining his shot at the North American title tonight! and rejoining me. Biff Franklin. I’ll have you know that the OWA Commissioner has just QUIT!
Biff: Hahaha! EH? He what?
Ed: He just quit! That was a stupid thing to do down there.
Biff: So what are we supposed to do now?
Ed: I suppose the board of directors will have to find a new commissioner. for now. we need to figure out what to do about our Internet title match. let’s go down to the ring announcer
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen. Anthony Hazard has declined his shot at the Internet Title. Therefore, winner of the match and still North American Champion. Rainbow Warrior.
Biff: It’s over? I got an interview. see ya!
Ed: Biff is heading down for his interview.
The Voice Box: Davey Scott
Biff: Welcome to the latest edition of the “Voice Box” featuring your truly Biff “The Voice” Franklin. OK, my next guest is the joke. Last week on OCW, he went for the TV Title, and he lost the match to Asian Invasion, who compared to my guest is superior. Here he is the self-proclaimed “The Man, The Myth, The Rebel” “The Renegade” Davey Scott
[“Calling for you” begins playing and Davey begins walking down the line. Davey enters the ring. : Biff: Ok, Ok. no dancing here. let gets down to business.
[Davey gives Biff a serious look: Biff: Ok. we all know that last week, you went against Asian Invasion for the TV Title, and lost the shot. How does it feel to lose to a great wrestler as himself?
Davey: You know Biff. I think we should clear one thing up. It was a draw due to time limit restrictions. However, let also make it clear that the man who dominated the match was yours truly. So before you go around making false statement, get your facts straight.
Biff: Do you know who you are?
[Davey: Excuse me?
Biff: Do you know who you are? One moment, you’re the Sexy Boy of the OWA, and now you’re the renegade, well. I am just wondering who the he’ll do you think you are?
Davey: Who I am is clear. Who I am is motorcycle riding, buttkicking, all-fire fighting machine. I am Davey Scott. Always have been. Always will be. Nicknames come and go, but “The Man, The Myth, and The Rebel” is HERE TO STAY.
Biff: You know, your recent performance has become more aggressive and as you see from these morons, they are not looking at you as a hippie dancer. they are looking at you like a fool. Billy Smith is right, you are.....
Davey grabs the mic: Let me tell you something about that SOB. First he is all over my case, now he backed off. You might think he is smart because he is going after bigger things like the Internet Title, which he is deceiving people. The REAL reason why he has bother me, is because that man is SCCCCAARREEDD. Don’t worry Mr. BILLY. I got you on my calendar.
Biff: You ain’t HALF the MAN to face Billy Smith. you are like Johnny Fate. He decided being Mr. Macho, and then he is no more. He left the OWA. That what’s going to happen to you if you don’t watch it.
Davey: (grabs the mic again): Yea? You and what army? You know, I think there is an old expression I used in my past. DON’T......TREND....ON......ME!
Biff: Listen you.
[Davey grabs Biff by the shirt. security starts coming down and Davey shoves Biff off.] Davey: Sorry sweetie. you ain’t WORTH my time.
Biff: Yea. you know how to work up a crowd and you know how to throw a few punches but as long as I am around. you are NOT lasting long in this Federation.
Davey: That nice but next time you want to see me, you got to make an appointment, and you have a special toll number just for you. it is 1-900-IMA-JERK!
[Davey walks off, leaving Biff looking pretty pissed off]
Ed: I’ve been handed a note that says the OWA Web page will have an update on the OWA Commissioner situation. I’ve also been told that later today, Traci Lane will tell the world who she picks as her challenger for the OWA Championship. We have a couple of debuts. Let’s get down to the ring.
Michelle Cox vs. Joe B Jobber
Announcer: This match is one fall. First in the ring, weighing in at 250 pounds. Joe B. Jobber! And his opponent. Making her OWA debut. She weighs in at 134 pounds. Here is “The Nature Girl” Michelle Cox!
Ed: Biff Franklin is rejoining me. In the ring. Michelle and Jobber lock up. Kick to the midsection by Michelle Cox. Whip by Cox and she nails him with a lariat.
Biff: Cox with a running powerslam. Cox into the ropes and she nails Jobber with a big leg drop. Cox is going to the top.
Ed: Cox has been all business since starting this match and a nice moonsault from the turnbuckle. cover. one. two but she lifts up and shakes her head. this is uncalled for.
Biff: Maybe, but I like it! She’s got a mean streak! She’s got him up and a PowerBomb! Cover. one. two. three! Michelle Cox wins it!
Announcer: Winner of the match in 5: 32, Michelle Cox!
Caged Fury Update
Myers: I’m Myers Watterson and this is your first Caged Fury report.
Before we run down the other matches on the card, let’s take a look at Caged Fury: The Match.
Imagine War Games and the Royal Rumble combined.
25 names are put into a barrel and two are drawn out. They enter a two ring cage complete surrounded. No way out. The only way in is through a door. The first two wrestler for 5 minutes. At the Five minute mark another wrestler is drawn and allowed to enter the cage. Every two minutes thereafter, another wrestler enters the ring. It’s every person for themselves. There can be no eliminations until all 25 wrestlers have entered the ring. Once all 25 are in the ring, then the eliminations can start. Pinfall, submission or referee’s discretion will results in someone being eliminated from the cage!
The match continues until there is only one wrestler remaining in the cage and that person is the winner. That person will also get an OWA Title shot at Press Your Luck in May.
Now, 10 names have already been announced: Mariko, Johnny Stallion, Tom Tomorrow, Virgo (replacing Chaos), Mr. America, Miguel Thunder, Freddy Fever, Pretty Boy Monty, Gustaffson (now in place of Traci Lane), Stacks Coltrain, Anthony Hazard, Executioner, Shogun, Taleis, and Mike Mustang.
Later today, Traci Lane will announce her challenger for the OWA Championship. I’ve been informed that the OWA Web site will be updated to show the COMPLETE card for Caged Fury shortly afterwards.
We already know that draws 1 to 3 have been selected by the OWA Commissioner as Mr. America, Tom Tomorrow and Virgo. The other number will more than likely be drawn randomly prior to the event.
Now, other matches have been signed:
Newly crowned OWA Champion, Traci Lane will be allowed to pick her challenger for the OWA Title. We're expecting that shortly.
OWA Tag Team Champions, The Extremists, will be taking on the team of Rachel Ryan and Wendy Ryker.
North American Champion Rainbow Warrior will defend against Billy Smith.
For the OWA TV Championship, Asian Invasion will be challenged by Consuelo Salyards.
All this excitement, brought to you by the OWA. Catch it on PPV on March 9th.
John B. Jobber vs. Lord Wolfgang Von Richter
Announcer: This match is one fall. First in the ring, weighing in at 249 pounds. Here is John B. Jobber! And his opponent, weighing in at 354 pounds. Here is Lord Wolfgang Von Richter!!
Ed: Our first look at Wolfgang Von Richter.
Biff: He’s some kind of Lord eh?
Ed: That’s what he says. Here’s a lock-up. The Baron with a short clothesline and Jobber’s on the mat. The Baron pulls him up. A kick to the midsection. A Russian legsweep and Jobber tries to clear his head.
Biff: Jobber now with a slap. no effect. another, and another. The Baron grabs Jobber by the throat. 1...2...3...4...5. The Baron with a chokeslam but Jobber’s up with a whip into the ropes. Clothesline by Jobber but The Baron ducks.
Ed: Jobber off the ropes with a flying cross-body press. NOOOOO!! The Baron just catches him. The Baron now with a BIG Gorilla press and tosses Jobber out of the ring into the crowd. The Baron now out and throws Jobber back into the ring.
Biff: The Baron in total control now!! He’s got Jobber up and is setting him up. A German suplex and a fist drop for good measure. This one was over before it started. cover. 1...2...3. The Baron has won it.
Announcer: The winner of the match in 3: 21 seconds. Lord Wolfgang Von Richter.
Ed: Impressive win for The Baron. Let’s go right back down to ringside for our main event.
OWA TV Championship: Asian Invasion vs. Shogun
Announcer: This match is one fall and is for the OWA TV Championship. First the challenger, weighing in at 230 pounds. Being led to the ring by Pretty Boy Monty. Here is Shogun! And introducing the current OWA TV Champion, weighing in at 230 pounds. Here is Asian Invasion!
Ed: Here we go. the OWA TV championship is on the line but more importantly a shot at Traci Lane next week on this show.
No idea what happened here. A chunk of this card is missing. I do know that Shogun defeated Asian Invasion to win the title and the OWA Title shot.
Shelly Marks: OWA Fans. just moments ago. Traci Lane stood in this ring and made this startling challenge.
(Traci Lane stands alone in the very ring that Anthony Hazard used to challenge her. The arena is dark and empty, with the only lights shining down on her. She walks to ring center, and faces the camera.)
Traci: I’ve been quieter than I’d intended to be lately; rest assured that I’ve been occupied with all sorts of peripheral nonsense. But you can see that when it counts--(she gestures to the belt around her waist)--I get the job done. This is no fluke. I’m the OWA World’s Champion because I trained hard, I fought hard, and I EARNED it. My competitors gave it their all, and I respect them to a one. But I’m representing the OWA as its best wrestler, and I hope I’m doing so to everyone’s satisfaction.
A couple of things are on my mind. For starters, Anthony Hazard--mere hours ago, in this very ring, you called me out for a title shot. How DARE I refuse you? You’re absolutely right, I called you a legend, and I meant every word. You deserve the accolades you’ve attained. And yes, it took a loss to you to make me realize my true potential. But you’re not dealing with the same novice you faced before. I’ve turned the corner that all greats must turn, and you have that to prepare for. So, Anthony, let’s show the good people of the OWA what a good, clean wrestling match looks like-- and dinner’s on the winner. That’s not a problem, I hope. (She winks.)
Finally. I have a few words for someone who’s made quite a splash here in the OWA. Jungle Mask, precisely whom do you think you’re fooling? Do you honestly feel that hiding under a hood is going to erase the past, or wash away your cowardice? Let me disabuse you of that notion presently. I know who you are. We ALL know who you are. But, the commissioner remains unconvinced.
I’m going to change that.
I want you, Jungle Mask. In the ring. Soon. And to make it interesting, let’s make it title versus mask. That’s right, if you win, you get the world’s title. If I win, I get your mask and send you back to your classroom. Sound interesting? I hope so. Because I’m not waiting much longer. If you don’t take this opportunity, I’ll take it out on you some other way. You don’t want that. Sign the match, or--(she snaps her fingers, and the arena goes pitch black)- -it’s lights out.