OWA Tag Champs Ryan and Ryker take on the Chiefs for the championship; Shogun defends the TV title against Mr. America, The mystery of who attacked Freddy Fever at Crime Spree is resolved and the tension between Ricky Hype and Biff Franklin explodes
Announcer: There comes a time when all wrestling superstars pushes the ring aside and says,
Danny Maxx and Johnny Blades: “There has to be more to life than this!”
Mr. America: “I can’t take this anymore!”
Danny Bouchard: “How long has it been since I’ve had a [CENSORED] vacation!”
Tara Quinn: “Lick my frog!”
Freddy Fever: “Ribbit...”
Stacks Coltrain: “Whoa...”
Announcer: Eh? Ahem. When a wrestling superstar strives for competition outside the squared circle.
Wendy Ryker: “I mean, how many times do we have to beat the Extremists?”
Rachel Ryan: “You mean, besides everytime?”
Announcer: April 27. Live from Vancouver Washington, courtesy of OWA Championship Wrestling, the OWA brings you “Battle of the OWA Superstars”! OWA Superstars competing in non-wrestling related events. It’ll be fun for the entire family, as the OWA is divided up into 4 teams, with each competing in various activities. Plus an OWA Special following the event. It’s a prelude to OWA’s most violent night, Crime Spree. Set your VCRs and join us for “Battle of the OWA Superstars”
Ed: Welcome to another edition of OWA Championship Wrestling and an exciting announcement from the OWA. I’ve heard a lot of rumors regarding this event. Chess, Scavenger Hunt, Tug of War. Lots of exciting events.
Biff: I think it’ll be an interesting night.
Ed: All proceeds from the event will go to the winning team’s favorite, legitimate, charity. On tonight’s show, we have two title matches. One is for the OWA Tag Team Championship, as Rachel Ryan and Wendy Ryker defend against The Chiefs and for the OWA TV Championship, Shogun battles Mr. America. Let’s go down to ringside for our first match.
Taleis vs. Nightmare
Announcer: This match is one fall. First, already in the ring, weighing in at 245 pounds. Here is Taleis! And his opponent. Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 287 pounds. Here is Nightmare!
Ed: There’s a bell and a lock up. Whip by Taleis and a kick. Russian legsweep by Taleis and a cover. one. Kickout by Nightmare. Nightmare up and nails Taleis with an elbowsmash and a choke against the ropes, by Nightmare.
Biff: Nightmare with a whip. Taleis comes off with a cross body press. one. Kickout by Nightmare. Taleis off the ropes, but Nightmare hits him with an elbow. Front layout suplex by Nightmare, followed by a reverse neckbreaker.
Ed: Kneedrop by Nightmare and an elbowsmash. cover. one. tw. Kickout by Taleis. Nightmare off the ropes but Taleis nails him with an enzuigiri. Spin kick by Taleis. Dropkick and another by Taleis. Taleis with a whip and a spinning leg lariat and a cover. one. two. Kickout by Nightmare.
Biff: Nightmare with a low blow and a double underhook piledriver. cover. one. two. th. Kickout by Taleis. Nightmare with an atomic drop. cover. one. two. Kickout by Taleis. Whip by Nightmare. Duck by Taleis who nails Nightmare with a clothesline.
Ed: Small package by Taleis. one. two. Reversal by Nightmare. one. two. Kickout. Taleis with a Military Press Diamond Cutter! One. two. three!!!
Announcer: Winner of the match in 12: 24, Taleis!
Ed: Great match between these two. Umm. Does she have an interview now?
Biff: She’s the OWA Champion! She doesn’t need to schedule an interview!
Monica Brant & MP Inc.
Monica Brant comes down the aisle, OWA Championship around her waist and takes a mic from ringside. She enters the ring and speaks.]
Monica: Alright, that was an (yawns) exciting match we just saw. But, before, we get on with the evening, I have a few things I’d like to say. First, at Crime Spree, I’m going to walk in as Champion and walk out as Champion and there’s nothing Pretty Boy Monty or that turncoat Traci Lane can do about it. That bitch can’t even say my name on television. We’ll Lane, just like at Caged Fury, going to put the Fashion Statement on you, then on Monty and then I’m going to climb the ladder and walk away with the greatest fashion accessory of all time, this pretty little championship belt. I’m done letting you, Ryan and that big dolt Gus get all the title shots around here. I get suspended and you bring in that talentless, nothing happening twerp, Wendy Ryker to take MY spot? As if she could shine my wrestling boots. Now, onto new business.
When I was on suspension, plotting my revenge against the Femmes and that loser Ryker, I found a few people who shared my views of the world. Sad to say, soon after my return, their original fed folded. So they needed new stomping grounds, new territory, and new blood. And, due to MY brilliant negotiating strategies, I managed to get them all contracts. HERE! So, wrestlers of the OWA, listen up. These are the new bad boys on the block, collectively known as MP, INC. First, one of the four MP Inc. originals. The former LAW TV Champ. Current LAW Tag Champion. The 300 pounds of moshing machine known as THE MOSHER!!!!
(Mosher makes his way down to ringside and climbs in. giving Monica a high five. Monica continues...)
And now, a former World Champion once again on the prowl. Here to eliminate some of the scum from the OWA. Here is Crimson Scorpion.
(Scorpion slowly walks down the aisle giving high fives and hand slaps to the fans. Enters the ring and high fives Monica and the Mosher.)
From Jackson Mississippi, weighing 250 pounds, and standing at 6. 2”, the only member of M.P. Inc. who can properly prepare pickled pig’s feet, the one-time LAW Television Champion, the butter in M.P. Inc....s grits, the one, the only BIG RUSS GATOR!
(A young man who is wearing a cowboy hat, a green T-shirt that says “Kiss my ass, or I’ll kick yours”, blue jeans, and cowboy boots, walks down and into the ring.)
And now, the Philosophical Phenom, the Industrial Intellect, the Bear with thinning Hair, the man from Moosejaw with the loose jaw, the man that fits no molds with all the holds, the neighbor that won’t do labor, the master of drywall and plaster, he blades for good grades. This is Kodiak!
(KODIAK struts around the ring giving high fives to everyone. He then opens up a box and begins throwing drink boxes at the crowd. One mouthy fan gets hit right in the face and drops to the ground. He then goes to the turnbuckles and listens intently to Monica’s next introduction.)
And now, another great member of this fine group. A former International Champion, United States Champion, and we all know he’s destined for OWA gold. From Canoga Park, California the often imitated, never duplicated, tower of power, the man of the hour, the master of disaster, the gangster of love, the sultan of swing, the doctor of desire, the Mecca of manhood, the count of Monte Fisto, The ever humble, the one the only, Diamond Brett Robbins!
(Diamond Brett Robbins comes down the aisle and enters the ring. more high fives are given. the crowd growing restless and begins to boo)
Here he is, straight from Hell and Beyond. The Nazghul!
(Nazghul looks at the crowd in a suspicious manner as he makes his way to the ring. His black hair is hanging down over his face and is casting shadows over his eyes. After pausing momentarily at the ring steps Nazghul enters the ring.)
Nazghul: Thank you Monica. (He faces the audience) You may not know me, or MP Inc. for that matter, but you will soon. I am their newest member and I came to MP Inc. to replace Bitrex who decided to pack up after the closing of LAW and the rest of the UEA. I am a fighter, a warrior. I never quit. I am his replacement and am vastly superior in every way. I intend to win and no one can stop me. As a matter of fact, the only challenge I see from the talent pool in this league is my fellow MP Inc. members and Monica here (points to Monica). Anyway, prepare all you want OWA. It doesn’t matter. No one can stop me now!
Monica: And finally, the leader of MP Inc. former LAW International Champion, and undefeated LAW Tag Team Champion, the man who put the proof in the pudding, the one and the only. Masked Plague!
(Finally Masked Plague holding his metal Pooh bear reaches the ring and enters, giving out high fives and laughing with the rest. The fans begin to chant, “POOH!”)
Masked Plague: Someday you may ask yourself, “Whatever happened to the clean cut OWA?” Someday you may ask yourself, “Whatever happened to my beautiful hair?” Then you may ask yourself, “What did I do to deserve this?” The fact is we are the scariest group you have ever seen, OWA. We aren’t a bunch of green rookies with milk mustaches hoping to play with the big boys! We are the Big Boys. We are MP, Inc.! Every OWA title will be ours. Some have compared us to other alliances, but there is no comparison. We are a cut above. Monica said she needed some friends, and we need a place to stay. You might think we are just some scrubs to be laughed at, so go ahead and laugh, and you will be beaten a happy man! MP Inc. is the poop! Tell ‘em Pooh!
Pooh: *Writer’s Note: Pooh doesn’t talk, he’s a doll
Masked Plague: So get your running shoes on OWA, because you are now playing tomato syrup. Hey boys, let’s move this party down the street, and celebrate our new found dominance.
Monica: Next week, all of MP Inc. will be showing you what they can do. So look carefully, superstars. This is your future. (Monica smiles sweetly at the camera, pointing to the OWA Championship around her waist.) And, no, you don’t have to thank me. As your OWA Champion, I promise there’ll be more fun and excitement to come.
Ed: Whoa! Straight from LAW to the OWA. MP Inc. is here. You’re impressions of MP Inc., Biff.
Biff: Let’s see what they can do in the ring. We know they can quote the Talking Heads but can they hang with the best there is right here in the OWA.
Ed: Let’s go down to ringside.
Asian Invasion vs. Ricky Hype
Announcer: This match is one fall. First coming down the aisle, weighing in at 230 pounds. Here is Asian Invasion!
Ed: Invasion has something to say I guess.
Invasion: Listen up boys and girls, Asian Invasion is hoping to show you all how PUNKS like Ricky Hype should be dealt with!!!
Biff: What the hell?!?
Ed: From the other side of the building Ricky Hype just slid into the ring and *BAM!* nails Asian Invasion with the Fate’s Pipe. Ricky Hype with a Modified Bulldog on Invasion. Hype isn’t even dressed to wrestle.
Biff: He’s nothing but a back stabbing coward! I’ll tell you.
Ed: Ricky Hype tosses Asian Invasion out over the top rope and comes over here.
Biff: Keep him away from me.
Ricky Hype points over to Invasion: What do ya think of that Invasion? The only thing your good for Asian is to put in front of my fireplace as a RUG!!! Get used to being stepped on Rug Boy. The mission you were speaking about has been cancelled. “THE SHOW” is in command now! Speaking of the show. [Ricky turns back and points a finger at Asian Invasion: Invasion, you want a feud? You got one loser! And you Biff, ya spineless chicken, you can’t wrestle one on one? Well, I just gave you a partner. Right there on the floor. Tag team match Biff! You two against “THE SHOW” and my partner. You better be in the ring at Crime Spree or I’m gonna feed you a brick pie next time! [Ricky turns and points to the ramp way entrance] And any of you losers associating with the Mouth show up. Yeah you Mustang, you’re gonna get the same beating as Asian. [Ricky turns back to Asian and Biff: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Welcome back Rug Boy.
Ricky performs a low bow to the crowd! But from behind. Biff with his chair nails Hype in the back of the head and then applies the Oriental Spike!]
Ed: We’re going to need some help here. Biff Franklin was the master of the Oriental Spike and he’s got it on Ricky Hype, who’s now bleeding from the mouth.
Biff - while applying the hold on to Hype: Make fun of me, will ya! You’re nothing but a little jerk. Can’t do nothing against me, you good for nothing little creep. Embarrass me and see what you get, little puke.
Security comes and pulls Biff from Hype who’s lying on the ground bleeding. The security drag off Biff towards the back and some medical people come down to attend to Ricky Hype.]
camera opens in on Blackout sitting behind a table reading through a book. It’s pitch black and he has his feet kicked up on the table. He is wearing his long, brown trench coat, black leather boots, black pants, and a white shirt. His long, white hair hangs behind his head and the two, small braids rest on his shoulders, held together by small metal clips. He looks up at the camera and grins a wicked smile, bearing his sharp, canine teeth, which appear to be blood-stained. He begins to speak with his casual voice)
Blackout: So, Miguel, you wish to challenge me to a Vampire vs. Vampire Hunter match, do you? Well, ignorant move on your part, but I will play along. I am never one to refuse a challenge, even if it means the opponent’s death. You drive a stake through my heart and crucify me if I lose? I get your blood if I win? Now, these stipulations are quite unfair (Blackout pauses for a moment) for you. You see, Miguel, I shall take my opponent’s blood whether it is in the rules or not. If I win, then I obviously get your blood, but don’t think for a second that you are going to be able to drive any kind of object through my chest and pound nails into my limbs. Do you realize how impaired I would have to be to allow that? (Blackout gently sets the book down onto the table in front of him)
Blackout: No man has rid this world of me (coughs), or woman for that matter and I shall not allow it to begin now. Another step towards divinity, another life to take, another blade to draw. What it all comes down to is that I am here to stay no matter what you do. You are about to find this out first-hand, Miguel. You made the fatal error in recognizing my presence instead of just lying on your back and allowing me to take you at a later point in time. Instead you choose to challenge what you do not know and this challenge has been accepted. Be the first one to experience the pain in which I have to deal out, by all means. (Blackout takes his feet off the table and sits up straight in his chair)
Blackout: After I am through with you, Miguel, tell all your friends how it felt to have your body taken over for that evening. Tell them what it felt like to have your blood drained from that carcass of yours. Because even though I will not take your life. I will most certainly make you suffer. It’s a way of life that I have become quite accustomed to and so should all of you. One thing I do not understand though, why should we wait months before our encounter? Let us make it sooner, eh? Let’s say.
(thinks for a minute). One week. I like to take action as soon as possible, don’t you? If you are still capable after that match, we can set up the match at Crime Spree. So, until then. LIGHTS OUT!
(Blackout gets up and leaves as the camera fades to black)
Ed: Blackout is scheduled to debut next week, as is the entire squad from MP Inc. It should be an interesting show. My broadcast partner, is now in the office of the OWA BOD and will not be joining me for the remainder of the card, so joining me, is none other than Elaine Bryant.
Elaine: Thanks Ed. I cannot believe Biff Franklin. I do think he was probably provoked by Hype but it’s very unprofessional on his part.
Ed: I really think that Ricky Hype provoked this incident, but that in no way excuses the actions of Biff Franklin. He’s a former wrestler and can mix it up with the best of them. As you saw, his favorite maneuver was the Oriental Spike.
Elaine: He really did a number on Ricky Hype!
Ed: Let’s go down to ringside for our TV title matchup.
OWA TV Championship: Shogun vs. Mr. America
Announcer: This match is one fall and it is for the OWA TV Championship. First introducing the challenger. He weighs in at 275 pounds. He’s what “Every American aspires to be...” here is Mr. America! And his opponent. Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 230 pounds. He’s the current OWA TV Champion. Here is Shogun!
Ed: There’s a bell and we’re underway with our TV Title defense. The TV Title is THE most defended title in the OWA. Bylaws state it’s to be defended on almost every TV Card. For those joining us late, Elaine Bryant is at ringside for commentary as my broadcast partner, after some provoking by Ricky Hype, jumped him and applied the Oriental Spike. We understand that Hype hasn’t sustained any serious injuries.
Elaine: That’s always good to hear. I’m happy to be out here for commentary. In the ring, it looks like Mr. America is finally ready to lock up and they do. Mr. America with a whip and Shogun takes him down with a shoulderblock.
Ed: Shogun does a few nice martial arts poses for us and turns back to his opponent. Mr. America taking his time getting to his feet. Finally we have another lock up. Mr. America with another whip. This time America nails Shogun with a clothesline.
Elaine: America off the ropes and he nails Shogun with a running forearm smash. Shogun is up and applies a very scientific facebite. one. two. three. four and he breaks it. Shogun tries for a powerbomb but it’s probably a little early as America blocks it then counters it with a backdrop.
Ed: Mr. America off the ropes with a flying forearm but Shogun ducks. The TV Champion quickly with a knee to the back and a spinning mule kick that stuns America. cover. one. two. Kickout by Mr. America. Shogun up and nails America with a powerbomb.
Elaine: Shogun with a whip but America comes off with a kick to the midsection. America with a chinlock deathlock submission! Shogun edges to the ropes and the referee calls for the break. America with a whip and OH! A double clothesline and they are both down.
Ed: The referee starts the count. one. two. three. four. five. Shogun slowly moving now. Seven and he gets to his feet. Shogun off the ropes. America with a boot to the midsection and Piledriver! Cover. This could be it. That’s his finisher. one. two. thre. NO!! Shogun gets his shoulder up. I thought we had a new champion.
Elaine: America sets up for another!. But no Shogun with a backdrop. Shogun sets up and goes for the Palm Blow, but America ducks and catches Shogun with a belly to back suplex. America up and another Piledriver! Cover. one. two. three!!!
Ed: We have a new TV Champion. Mr. America has defeated Shogun! Let’s get the official word!
Announcer: Your winner, in 17: 29 and NEW OWA TV Champion. Mr. America!
Crime Spree Update
Ed: Myers is standing by for our Crime Spree report.
Myers: Thanks guys. I’m Myers Watterson and the news is just pouring in with information regarding Crime Spree. May 4th, the OWA Presents Crime Spree, only on PPV. Let’s run down the matches that have already been signed.
The North American title will be on the line at Crime Spree in not one but three matches. Current champion, Billy Smith will take on Talies in the first match and if he’s successful he’ll be going on to meet Davey Scott in the second. And if Billy Smith makes it past Scott, he’ll take on former champion Rainbow Warrior in the last match. The title will be on the line in each of the three matches.
Another match that was signed is a roof match, pitting Mr. America against Virgo. On top of the arena, a cage will be put up all the way around the building. However, there will be a 6-foot opening along one wall of the cage. The object? To push your opponent through that 6-foot opening out off the roof. Never fear, below an inflatable mattress will be set up, just like they are used in movies to catch the stunt actors.
Next week, Shelly Marks will have a special report from the site of Crime Spree regarding this match. Inside a local Seattle Bar, there will be no rules as the OWA Tag Team Champions, Wendy Ryker and Rachel Ryan battle the Extremists in the first ever Seattle Bar Room Brawl. There are no rules, and the winning team must knock out both members of the opposing team to be declared the victor.
A Graffiti Match has been signed for Crime Spree, pitting Harvard Earl against Danny Bouchard. The winner is the one who spray paints “LOSER” on the back of his opponent.
Consuelo Salyards and The Shocker will settle some differences at Crime Spree in a Vending Machine Match. No rules, but the winner will be the first person to legally obtain product from a vending machine.
We have obtained some additional footage from Crime Spree that will explain this next announcement. Let’s roll that footage now.
Scene opens in the backstage area of the arena and Freddy Fever is standing around apparently waiting on someone, when he suddenly falls to the floor. From the shadows, Michelle Cox steps forward and raises a steel chair up and brings it down once, twice and three more times on the head of Fever before tossing it aside. She then appears to say something to the fallen Fever and walks off. Shortly afterwards, Elaine Bryant steps into view and motions for the camera.]
As a result of that match, a no hold barred match, no countout, no DQ and falls count anywhere has been signed. Michelle Cox takes on Freddy Fever in a match where the winner will face the OWA Champion at Press Your Luck.
We heard from Miguel Thunder last week and this week a response from Blackout. The OWA BOD has signed a First Blood match between Miguel Thunder and Blackout for Crime Spree and this just in. MP Inc.’s team of Kodiak and Big Russ will tangle with Executioner and Stacks Coltrain at Crime Spree.
The main event will be a Triangle Ladder match. OWA Champion, Monica Brant will defend her title against Pretty Boy Monty, who won the Caged Fury event two weeks ago as well as the winner from last week’s epic encounter, Traci Lane. Get your tickets early, or call your cable operator now and order Crime Spree.
Ed: Great news. We now know the mystery of what happened to Freddy Fever at Caged Fury. That attack by Cox prevented him from entering the cage to fight for a shot at the championship.
Elaine: I have no idea what beef she has with Fever, but perhaps we hear more about this before Crime Spree.
Ed: Let’s go to ringside for our TV Main event.
OWA Tag Team Championship: Rachel Ryan/Wendy Ryker vs. Mike Mustang/Johnny Stallion
Announcer: This match is one fall. It is for the OWA Tag Team Championship. First, the challengers, weighing in at a total combined weight of 520 pounds. Here are Johnny Stallion and Mike Mustang. Collectively known as The Chiefs! And their opponents. The current reigning OWA Tag Team Champions. Weighing in at a total combined weight of 354 pounds. Here is Rachel Ryan and Wendy Ryker!
Ed: We’ve had one championship change hands this week. Will we have another?
Elaine: The Chiefs have been having some trouble as of late. They’ve been losing key matches and the Femmes have been red hot. I’m going to stick with the current champions on this one, Ed.
Ed: Very good. There’s the bell. It’ll be Mike Mustang locking up with Rachel Ryan. Mustang quickly tries to nail Ryan with a clothesline, but she ducks it and nails him with a clothesline of her own. Rachel off the ropes and Mustang hits her with a tilt a whirl suplex.
Elaine: Mustang is calling for the cradle suplex already. No! Rachel with a small package. one. Kickout by Mustang. He gets up and goes for a wild dropkick that doesn’t connect and Rachel takes him down with a side suplex, then tags in Wendy Ryker.
Ed: Ryker with a double underhook piledriver. Mustang with a facerake and he tags in Johnny Stallion. Ryker quickly with a shoulderblock on Stallion and a reverse neckbreaker. Ryker with a whip and Stallion just plows over the referee.
Elaine: Mike Mustang comes into the ring and so does Rachel Ryan but OH! Mustang just backdropped Ryan out of the ring. He nails Ryker in the back with a knee and slides out of the ring. He grabs a chair and crawls back into the ring. Stallion comes up behind Ryker and holds her. Mustang takes a swing and OH! Ryker drops and Mustang nails Stallion! Ryan hits the ring and clotheslines Mustang out over the top rope! Ryker with the cover.
Ed: The referee is slow. one!!! two!! three!!!!!
Elaine: The Chief’s plan backfired and cost them the Tag Team Titles.
Announcer: Winners of the match and STILL OWA Tag Team Champions. Rachel Ryan and Wendy Ryker!
Ed: The Femmes leave and Mustang has crawled into the ring. He’s checking on his partner who’s just now coming to.
Stallion: What the HELL are you doing Mike???
Mustang: I was trying to win our belts back!
Stallion: By hitting me with a chair????
Mustang: Come on, let’s go to the back and talk things over back there. No need to air our dirty laundry out here.
Stallion: Alright, maybe your right....
(As Mustang turns and starts walking out of the ring, Stallion hits Mustang with the Stallion Thrust Kick)
Stallion: There now I have just helped you view the mat just like you helped win the belts.
(Stallion starts kicking Mustang as referees start swarming and entering the ring, Stallion pushes the refs out of the way and continues to kick Mustang refs jump back in the ring and Stallion gets one last good shot in and leaves the ring)
Elaine: If you don’t mind, I’m going to try and get a word with Johnny Stallion.
Ed: Go right ahead.
Elaine leaves the broadcast booth and catches up with Johnny Stallion]
Elaine: Johnny Stallion, obviously we’ve seen a bit of a division with the Chiefs. Does this spell the end of your tag team arrangement with Mike Mustang?
Stallion: I have been carrying his carcass for way too long. I should have dumped him a long time ago. Tonight, was just the last straw. I mean, come on he makes us lose the tag belts and then hits me with a chair and he says he is helping? I don’t think so.
Elaine: So what are your plans now?
Stallion: We’ll I am gonna show Mustang what pain and agony is all about. Mustang, my dear friend, you caused all of this. All you had to do was to keep your end up on our team and you blew it. If you think you can handle this and you want to be beat up again......Come and get it.
Elaine: Looks like Johnny Stallion wants Mike Mustang in the ring, one on one. I’m told we’re out of time for this week. For Ed Bagel and the rest of the OWA Crew. I’m Elaine Bryant saying so long until next week.