Next OWA Network Event

Rematch from Halloween Horror as Davey Scott attempts to avenge his loss against Mr. America

Godiva Rage

Warm, bright rays of sunshine slant down from a beautiful blue sky to a lush green patch of grass. The sea rolls against the shore in the distance as the sounds of the beach are all around. Godiva Rage strides through the scene, her hair tied back, wearing a short sarong skirt that does nothing to hide the muscular perfection of her thighs and a little bra top that exposes lots of muscle and taut, tawny brown flesh. She’s brazen enough to wear the WSWC Television title around her waist and she is as barefoot as usual. Turning towards the camera, Godiva purrs and caresses the belt.]

Godiva: We’ll mates, they asked me to interrupt me little trainin’ junket down to the Caribbean to save you from amateurish rambling. Everybody knows if you’re gonna be ramblin’, ya bettah be a professional, righty-ho, wot? So, you all just sit right down and open your ears real wide because the Bri’ish bombshell. As a few things she would like to say since I’ve got a captive audience.

Godiva uncinches the belt and slides it over her shoulder. She pats it, smiling.]

Godiva: You know what this belt makes me? A marked woman. Monica Brant wants a piece of it. Well, girl, I. ear you’re about to become a Femme again or somethin’, right? Well, it seems I’ve been chatted up a bit about doin’ that, too, right. No matter. It ain’t gonna stop me from cleanin’ your ridiculous-looking clock, is it? Wot. They tell me I’m basically gonna be on TV every damn week selling my T & A to push the show. So, you think when they’ve got a Bombshell as a champion that they’re ever gonna consent to ‘avin’ a blank? Monica, rest easy, this little tete-a-tete of ours is gonna result in one bloody ‘ell of a catfight. You know why? Cause I’m ruddy we’ll sick of wrestlin’ things the clean way and bein’ all proper and ladylike because the rest of the folks just don’t like it when I get all scandalous and wot not. But this is my opportunity ‘ere to be as bad as I can be. If it means wrestlin’ in furs, al fresco or in a bikini made of dental floss and talle talle verde I’ll ruddy we’ll do it. This is my stage now. And you want to watch this bloody programme you’re gonna ‘ave to love seein’ me. I’m a squawk like a fish wife. I’m gonna cuss you a blue streak and kick your bloody arse all around the ring, Ms. Brant. If that’s really your name. Me, I think it’s nothing more than ‘diva toy. Cause I’m gonna toy with you and ‘umiliate you in front of everybody. It ain’t gonna be a bit of all right and it won’t be ‘alf a laugh. This is gonna be sheer and utter ‘umiliation. Why? Cause frankly, I don’t evah like a ruddy soul who steps in the ring with me. And that’s the kinda reign you’re gonna see out of ‘diva Rage. Just pure nastiness and outrageousness.

Godiva pauses only long enough to catch her breath.]

Godiva: Oi, and you masturbatin’ little boys who always love watching the pretty little blond-haired sista. You can start wadding your Kleenex up around your little wankers right about now. Cause for some reason the powers that be insist I titillate you. Imagine, a whole ruddy promotion revolvin’ around the power of a pair of knockers. That’s ’ow it is in’ diva’s world, dearies and you just remember, keep your dirty little ands off ya great, steamin’ prats.

Godiva is fully geared up now. She throws the title down and balls up her fist.]

Godiva: I don’t even know why I bother with all this crap. I ain’t ‘ere to do for others. I’m ‘ere for me. So you get that flamin’ camera out from me crotch cause the lot of you is gettin’ on me tits. Now buzz off!

A quick superkick disposes of the shot. Fade out.]

Scene opens up at the WSCW studios. Elaine Bryant and Shelly Marks are behind the desks as the WSCW logo divides the two. Lights fade up...]

Shelly: Welcome to the Gospel Truth, I’m Shelly Marks.

Elaine: And I’m Elaine Bryant. Last week’s Primal Rage special netted us a new WSCW TV Champion and she is Godiva Rage and she, for someone who just won the TV Title, is /not/ in a very good mood.

Shelly: Of course, with Godiva Rage, it’s hard to tell what’s going through her mind. However, next week, she’s not getting any breaks as she is taking on returned Femme, Monica Brant, who last week was handcuffed and whipped by Davey Scott. let’s go to some comments she made last week just after Primal Rage went off the air, then we’ll go down to Ed and Biff and see her in action.

Monica Brant

(The scene is a locker room. As the camera comes in, a doctor is leaving, shaking his head. We see Monica Brant, still dressed in her wrestling top and a pair of shorts. The welts from Scott’s earlier attack are plainly visible on her legs. She’s is looking down, but apparently knows the camera is there. After a moment, she begins to speak.)

Monica: David Scott. “Sexy Boy”, “Renegade”, “Antichrist”. All colorful monikers. Just like “Mistress”. Did it scare you so much, Scotty? A woman who was confident and in control? A woman who was proud to be who she was? Did it frighten you so much that you had to whip me like your hell? Did it? It did? Good.

I’m sure you’ve already gotten tapes of that little fiasco, Davey. You’re probably just trembling with anticipation, waiting to get home and watch it over and over again’ Just make sure you clean up after. That stuff stains if you don’t clean it up properly.

(Monica chuckles, and then starts to place bandages on her wounds. Her hair covers her face as she moves.)

Maybe it was just an attempt to send a message, maybe you’ve got something against the Femmes. But, you know what Davey. You know what. You know WHAT, IT DOESN’T [CENSORED] MATTER! BECAUSE, MR. SCOTT, YOU HAVE CHOOSEN THE WRONG WOMAN TO CHAIN UP AND BEAT, BUCKO!

(After a few deep breaths, Monica begins again.)

Take all the precautions you want. Lock your door, board up your windows. You’ve started your own path to destruction in this fed. You’ve open Pandora’s box, and. oh, Davey. Davey boy. I have SO MANY interesting things to teach you about the nature of evil.

From Monica Brant, the show goes to ringside.]

Ed: Welcome to ringside for this edition of the Gospel Truth. We’ll get back to Elaine and Shelly shortly.

Biff: Yeah yeah. Right now we got Monica “Whipping Girl” Brant taking on. Jim Steel? Who’s this guy?

Ed: Probably a newcomer here at WSCW. I understand he’s already got a bit of a fan following here.

Biff: Only if he’s first in line at the hot dog stand, Edster. Let’s go to ringside.

Jim Steel vs. Monica Brant

Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, weighing in at 234 lbs., and hailing from Steel Town, USA. Here is “Little” Jim Steel!

(Little Jim waves at the crowd, who give him a surprisingly loud pop.)

Biff: They must have him mixed up with someone else.

Announcer: And, his opponent. Hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. She weighs in at 150lbs. Here is “Mistress” Monica Brant!

(Crowd starts to boo as Monica comes through the curtains. She’s dressed in a dark grey body suit, with a large kiss mark in the center of her stomach. “Superbitch” by 2Preciious plays as she walks down the aisle. The camera pans to see a few crowd signs, including one that says “Meet your master, Mistress”.)

Ed: The fans not taking too we’ll to Monica, despite her rejoining the Femme Fatales.

Biff: Well, for once, the great unwashed mass of ham and eggers are thinking straight. When Monica screws over her friends, again, all the idiots in the fed will know who said it first.

Ed: The bell goes and this one is underway. A lock-up and Steel with a headlock. Monica tried to throw him off, but he hangs on and grinds it in. You know, Biff, I can’t help but notice Brant’s outfits are getting less and less revealing these past few days. Maybe she’s trying to counter Scott’s comments about women wrestlers a few weeks back.

Biff: Maybe. Too bad, I’ve got no reason to watch her wrestle now. Especially since this particular loser is kicking her tail. After a suplex, Little Jimmy with a toe hold on Monica. And now a boot to the inner thigh, just about the place she was hit with that whip last week!

Ed: And those wounds still smarting, obviously, from the pain on Monica’s face. Steel dropping an elbow to the same area, and now trying for another lock and Monica with a pair of head scissors!

Biff: Steel trying to escape from those scissors, but Monica keeps them clamped on. A grab of Steel’s hair and Monica drags Jimmy boy to his feet. Chokeslam! A new move from Monica and followed up by and elbow to the back and now a body scissors.


Biff: Uh. Ed? Yo, Ed. Are we awake there, buddy?

Ed: Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking about legscissors there for a moment. It was a. warm, happy time.

Biff: Monica squeezing Steel for all she’s worth, and he’s obviously in pain. You know, this move is a lot more painful than it looks, folks. Especially since she has it locked in right under the ribs. Monica with a release now, and another pick-up. Inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline from Brant!

Ed: Brant on a roll and Steel better fight back or he’s going to get finished off pretty quick. Monica dropping another elbow on Steel’s back, and back to the leg scissors on Little Jim. His back area’s taking an awful pounding here.

Biff: Steel getting one hand in between Monica’s legs trying to force them apart. He does it! Monica rolls away and Steel greets her with a punch to the mush as she gets up! And another and a third. Blocked by Brant! Brant stepping in and locking on an abdominal stretch!

Ed: And Monica has it locked in properly, for perhaps the first time in pro-wrestling history! And Steel’s taken a lot of punishment in his mid-section already. This just adding to the punishment. And, from the expression on Brant’s face, she’s enjoying this big time.

Biff: Probably imagining it’s Davey Scott in there. Enjoy it while it lasts, Mistress. Steel reaching for the ropes, trying to shift Monica off balance and she lets go of the hold. Steel backing off but Monica grabs him and a vertical backbreaker from the Mistress! Looks like she’s just having fun in there now.

Ed: Brant with another pick-up, and hoisting Steel up across her shoulders. Her leg’s a little wobbly, but she keeps him up there. And the ref waves for the bell!

Announcer: The winner of the match, “Mistress” Monica Brant!

(Crowd expresses disapproval through various cultural vocal utterings)

Ed: Brant dumping Steel back to the mat and the ref raising her hand. An impressive showing from the Mistress as she heads back to the locker room.

Biff: She’s just marking time until Scott gets his hands on her. Or maybe Shiva at Deck the Halls. Who knows?

Back to the studio with Elaine and Shelly]

Elaine: Monica Brant taking out her frustrations on Jim Steele as he was obviously no contest for the Canadian resident.

Shelly: Brant’s got too many things on the burner as far as I am concerned. Next week with Rage for the TV Title, last week’s incident with Davey Scott and Shiva at “Deck The Halls”.

Elaine: One has to wonder if that was Virgo’s downfall last week. He just can’t seem to shake the shadow of Mr. America. In fact, Virgo’s standing by with Trinity.


{. Murder Inc. by Bruce Springsteen blares over the PA as Virgo walks to the ring. He is accompanied by the entire compliment of Trinity, including his SWF manager Destiny. The group climbs into the ring, and Mortis grabs the microphone from the announcer’s table, tossing it to Virgo.}

Myers: “Welcome, Virgo. I guess this is your team for Deck The Halls when you will face Mr. America and his team....”

Virgo: “Shut your hole. Don’t you know how to count? Does this look like 5 people, peon?”

Myers: “Well, no. It looks more like 6....”

Virgo: “Exactly. We saw the ingrates that America dug up to meet Trinity at Deck the Halls. Is Trinity worried? Not in the least.”

Myers: “How does Trinity feel about the words that Team America has spoken?”

{Pagan grabs the microphone and stabs his finger at the announcer.}

Pagan: “Weren’t you told to shut your face? Trinity fears no one.”

Myers: “Not even Team America? There are some really skilled people on that team.”

Pagan: “Trinity, let’s run the list, shall we? First, we got Mr. America, what every American aspires to be. Mr. Shhh, care to comment?”

Mr. Shhh: “I am the SWF American champion, and let me explain something to you. I want to be NOTHING like you, America. You don’t have what it takes to hold a belt. The only belt around your waist is there to hold your pants up. _I_ am what every American aspires to be, and that is the Champion.”

Myers: “But you also have the Giant Gustaffson to contend with.”

Virgo: “Big deal. What Gussy needs is Hooked on Phonics. He is a big, slow ox with the numbskull to match.”

Myers: “How do you plan to contend with him? Surely he won’t take kindly to your words.”

Virgo: “Let me introduce to you the SWF Tough Man Champion, Sandman.”

Myers: “I believe the Tough Man in the SWF is Jagged Edge, isn’t it?”

Sandman: “That’s only because the President screwed me out of the belt when Phoenix was around. But everyone knows. Hell, it’s a prerequisite to SWF employment to acknowledge that Sandman is the original Tough Man. And the Tough Man is not afraid of some imbecile with a speech impediment.”

Myers: “Truly not....and then we have the Black Widow. “

Virgo: “Now, just hold your tongue, big mouth. Before we go down that road, let’s talk about Traci Lane for a minute.”

Myers: “Ok....”

Virgo: “Traci is the WSCW Champion, and rightfully so. She deserves that title. In fact, I think she is only one in this fed that deserves the title they carry. She has my respect, but don’t worry about that. Respect is earned. But it won’t save America.”

Myers: “What are you saying? That you are going to go easy on Lane?”

Virgo: “Hell no. Arachnids were created to be stomped on with shoes. Traci Lane is no different. She calls herself the Black Widow? Well, these shoes were made for walking, and we intend to do just that.”

Myers: “Another member of Team America is the person who defeated you for the TV Title, and then you beat him for the TV Title, Taleis.”

Virgo: “I got two words for Taleis. Rigor Vigor.”

Rigor: “Taleis, I bet you have suffered a lot of pain and suffering as a child. But let me assure you, that all that will be nothing compared to the pain and suffering you will suffer at the hands of the Living Dead! The Rigor Vigor is THE most painful finishing move you will ever feel. And if you believe in a higher being, you might want to start praying now.”

Myers: “That just about covers all of Team America, with the exception of one Latin Lover. “

Virgo: “That bimbo. Trinity doesn’t give a rat’s (censored) about love, or lover. s. You can preach about it, you can sing about it, you can read about it, and you can practice it. But we intend to destroy it.”

Myers: “It sounds like you are prepared for your match against Team America.”

Virgo: “You wait until Deck the Halls. It will be a very Merry Christmas indeed, when Trinity proves to the SWF, to the WSCW, and to the world, that Trinity is indeed THE FORCE in e-fed wrestling. Get your ugly mug outta here.”

{. Murder Inc. starts up again, and Trinity leaves the ring, arguing with the fans on their way to the back locker room area.}

Back to the studio.]

Shelly: Pointed statements from Trinity, with their leader Virgo but, with the return of Gustaffson. Can Trinity overcome the team that Mr. America put together or will they be laid to waste at “Deck The Halls”?

Elaine: Good point, Shelly. To be completely honest, I have a feeling that Virgo has something up his sleeve. He’s just a little too overconfident with what looks to be a one sided event. It’s true, I’ve not seen the other members of Trinity in action, but I have seen those on Mr. America’s Team. We’re talking 4 out of 5 of them are in the running for Wrestler of the Year.

Shelly: Our feature match this week pits Mr. America against Davey Scott. I had the opportunity to get some pre-match comments from Davey prior to this match, so let’s go to those comments now.

Davey Scott

In the locker room, Davey is taping up his wrists to prepare for the match against none other than America. Tonight, they shall go at it again, and now, Shelly Marks will get the first exclusive from Davey...]

Shelly: Davey.

Davey: Yea, what do you want? [in a mean spirited kind of tone]

Shelly: We would like some comments on your match tonight against the man who stands one rank above you, Mr. America.

Davey: What is there left to say, America is still a punk and he shall find out tonight. Halloween Horror was luck. Tonight, it will be skill and fire! However, before you go. I have some remarks. Number 1, to the commissioner who wasted my valuable time with a press conference that never aired. Next time you want a press conference with the almighty, you better start doing some ass kissing cause that where you lips will be locked pretty soon. Pretty Boy Monty finally decides to return from Lala land. Well, Monty, please keep your clothes fully on. We don’t need an obscenity. You are worried about weight lost? Geez, get real boy. You can’t face the facts you’re a Has-been like Has-been and Hyper. I will kick your baldy ass whenever you get the guts to come out. Which will be never cause you have enough trouble facing Stacks who been stacking up pretty lately, and it is a wonder we kept her. She could of went over the weight limit. Monica, you know. Payback a. censor and that goes double for you. Finally I left a mark that no one will ever forget, especially you Monica. Sweet dreams, my mistress. [mocking her blowkissing] Danny is back? And who funded the censor boys? Danny, before you get hotheaded with the Anglo crap again, let me put it to you in plain simple [censor censor] English. You are a nobody. The dollar in my pocket it worth twice as much as your Canadian Ten dollars. You are a pride alright, you are the pride of Trash River. Cause that all you are is trash, don’t forget to put yourself out at night. You don’t want none of me, boy! You don’t want to try me! Now, for Asian Invasion. Wait. Waste of my time, next. Gus. Gus is back for a one time appearance, and look who he avoids. Gussy Gussy Wussy. He just can’t seem to get pass the [censor]. You know, you claim you are great... [giggles] now they are offered a nomination for your entrance to my respect match, now is that what you call a rip-off? However, Gus comes back for one night, and who does he avoid? The man he can’t take unless it is by surprise. If Gus can’t take Davey from behind his back, then Gussy won’t take on Davey at all. That is too sad to speak. Surely breaks my heart... [looks sadden then whips back into hysterical laughter] Go ahead and run along as the Femmes playtoy, and I go on worry about REAL wrestlers. Now, back to the commissioner, Commissioner, I demand you reinstate my title shot eligibility, or else hell will be knocking on your doorstep!

Davey walks off...]

Shelly: That sounds like a threat, hopefully, America will stop the madman named Davey Scott.

Back to the studio.]

Elaine: I don’t think Davey’s earning any brownie points with the commissioner with comments like those. The commissioner has never been one to go back on a fine or a suspension without good reason.

Shelly: Davey is getting himself way in over his head as far as I can see. He’ll be lucky to get past the new year without some serious injury.

Elaine: Davey is trying to give us the impression that he doesn’t care but in my opinion, he’s trying too hard to give that impression, which means that it’s actually the opposite. He wants us to believe how ’bad’ he is, but it’s coming across as desperate at this point.

Shelly: Well, I’m not so sure that I believe you on that point but look at the ratings. Davey is number two after changing his tactics and he could be number one after his match tonight.

Elaine: But can he get past Mr. America? Another man back in action is Ricky Hype. Let’s get some comments from him before we go see him in action.

Ricky Hype

scene opens outside Buddy Fudge’s Ice Cream Emporium in sunny Tucson, Arizona. Cutting inside the emporium, Ricky “The SHOW” Hype stands next to Buddy Fudge himself. Hype turns to the camera.]

Ricky Hype: Well, hello there OW. I mean WSCW fans. I’m proud to announce that Hype Enterprises has entered into a partnership with the one and only Buddy Fudge. There will be a Buddy Fudge in every WSCW town in less than six months!!

Ricky Hype turns and walks behind the counter.]

Ricky Hype: And since we’re going to be in all the WSCW towns, we decided to name some of our specialties after the *cough* standout talent I’ll be beating on.

Ricky Hype pulls out a one scoop vanilla cone: This is our Stacks-o-Vanilla-Coltrain cone. We named it such after Coltrain’s wrestling style. Yep, just like one plain old vanilla scoop, she’s plain and boring! Ha! Ha!

Ricky Hype pulls out a large banana split: Now this is a tremendous favorite here at Buddy Fudges. This is the “Made in America Banana Brains Split”. We all know that the WSCW has one and only one wrestler with a mushy enough head to warrant this prestigious honor. You got it right folks, Mr. Banana head himself, Mr. America. No need to thank me America, you’re really deserve the banana head award.

Ricky Hype pulls out a triple decker ice cream cone: This is my favorite here at Fudges. I call it the Asian-Invasion-One-Two. Why do we name it after the rug boy you ask? Well, first it’s made with scoops from Ruggles ice cream which naturally reminds me of Shaggy first off. And secondly.

Ricky Hype knocks off the top scoop, then slowly knocks off the second scoop]

These scoops are a reminder of how many falls it will take to pound on the Rug Boy if he’s not afraid to accept my challenge. Why three scoops then? The last one is what I’m gonna smear his face in after I knock him out! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ricky Hype: We’ll folks, gotta go for now. We’ll go over the rest of the Buddy Fudge menu next time.

Colt Boulder vs Ricky Hype

Announcer: This match is scheduled for one fall. In the ring weighing in at 265 pounds and hailing from Butte, Montana. The challenger, COLT BOULDER!!!!

Colt Boulder wears black cowboy boots and a black hat and holds a lariat as he awaits the start of the match]

Announcer: And his opponent.

a suddenly black arena is illuminated by a single spot light shining on a huge mirrored disco ball spinning from the ceiling, thousands of beams splashing over the crowd. They seem to know what is coming. ]

from behind the rampway curtains comes a strutting ball of shimmering glare!! Pearl white tuxedo and tails with a very LARGE top hat.]

Announcer: The man without compare, the grand master of pomp, the supreme patron of glitz, Your Ricky “THE SHOW” Hype!!

Ricky “The SHOW” Hype shuffles all the way down ramp and into the ring as the crowd chants Ricky! Ricky! Ricky! “The SHOW” spins around the ring and taunts Boulder with some fancy shuffling]

Ed: And there’s the bell. Boulder with a quick clothesline that surprises Hype. Hype on the mat looking stunned. Boulder over and reaches down. Oh!!! Hype with a nasty fist to the mid-section of Boulder.

Biff: Ha! Ha! That Hype has learned something new. Hype up now with a massive knee to the doubled over Boulder. Boulder is down. Hee! Hee!

Ed: “The SHOW” not relying on technique here. Surprise seems his new angle. Hype pulls Boulder to his feet. BAM!! Russian leg sweep and an elbow drop and another and another. Hype’s looking focused!! “The SHOW” over in Boulder’s corner. Uh oh. Hype’s got that lariat of Colt Boulder. s. He wants to whip Boulder with it but the referee stops him and takes the coil of rope.

Biff: OH YEAH!!! The referee tosses the rope out and Hype pulls out the FATE PIPE and nails Boulder. The ref didn’t see it!! Sneaky, sneaky that Hype.

Ed: Hype pulls Boulder up by the hair and signals for the Hyper Drive. The crowd rises to their feet in anticipation.

Biff: HYPER DRIVE BABY!!!!!!! This one is over. one. two. three. Ricky Hype showing a new style here tonight. I....Like It!!

Ed: These actions are totally uncalled for. Let’s get back to the studios.

Shelly: Ricky Hype is more aggressive than we have seen him in a long time. The fans seem to still be cheering for him, but he’s not going to be able to rely on those kinds of tactics in bigger matches.

Elaine: Exactly. This is wrestling, not back street brawling. There are rules that need to be followed and if Hype wants to move back up into title contention, he’s going to need to get with the program.

Shelly: It’s time for this week’s edition of “The Way It Is”. Let’s hear from Asian Invasion.

Asian Invasion

(The scene opens to show Asian Invasion lounging poolside in a plush mountain resort. The camera goes through several screens of him playing golf, working out, and dancing with the Spice Girls on top of his “The Way It Is” bus. It then cuts to Asian, inside the bus.)

Asian Invasion: Well, well, well, you obviously can’t get enough of me, because here you are, back for more. Today, we’re gonna examine several problems here in the WSCW.

First, we have Taleis Let’s go back and take a look at what you had to say before our match.

(Screen cuts to Taleis is in the WSCW locker rooms.)

Taleis: Asian Invasion, you do a great deal of talking for somebody with your lack of anything remotely resembling wrestling ability. I’m trying to remember the last time you actually WON a match.

(Screen pauses as Asian voices over)

Asian Invasion: Someone with my lack of anything remotely resembling wrestling ability huh??? We’ll Mr. Dictionary, you certainly talk a lot in that one sentence for someone as ugly as you. The last time I won a match huh??? Oh, that would the week before this match, way to do the homework buddy.

(Back to Taleis)

Taleis: I think it was back in May or so, when I was still wearing my mask.

Asian: Please, bring that mask back!!!

Taleis: I’ve watched some of your tapes, and, in all honesty, you have the potential to be a good wrestler. Your problem is that you spend too much time jawing at the crowd, the announcers, your opponent, the referee, whoever.

Asian Invasion: Anything to get myself 30 seconds away from your stinky body. Do you know what shampoo is Taleis???

Taleis: and then you either get your opponent ticked off at you, or you get the ref ticked off, or you turn around and get sucker punched or schoolboy’d or whatever

Asian Invasion: Are you still in preschool Taleis??? You’re right, I wouldn’t want to upset anyone, would I??? Schoolboy’d, that’s a new one.

Taleis: Invasion, turn your back on me for an instant, for ONE split second, and I’ll make you regret it for the two seconds

Asian Invasion: TWO seconds, not ONE, not THREE, I’ll regret it for TWO seconds!!! Hey Taleis, what if I turn my back for six seconds??? Don’t go back to him, That’s too much of Taleis, he doesn’t any more time than TWO minutes, not ONE, not THREE, but TWO minutes.

Next, we go to Ricky Hype. Hype baby, I don’t know what you were thinking when you challenged me, but that was pretty unintelligent. I would have left you alone, you might never have had to step into the ring with me, but, like Burger King, have it your way. Two out of three falls huh??? That means I’ll get to beat you twice, huh lucky are you.

And finally, the league newcomer, God-awful Rage. Listen up Lady Of Rage, you did that little loser Virgo a HUGE favor. He knew for a fact that the next time he stepped into the ring with me that he wouldn’t be able to cheap his way out of it, so don’t you think for one second that you beat him with your own ability. I watched that match a hundred times, and I know for a fact that Virgo intentionally lost that match, so he wouldn’t have to face me, at Deck The Halls. We’ll [CENSORED] Ugly, you know have the undesired honor of having to face me for MY TV Title. You’re probably too new to understand the fact that I am the GREATEST TV champ ever, and now, I’m ready to win back my belt, no matter what it takes, and That’s The Way It Is.

Elaine: Asian Invasion with lots of comments for everyone. However, it’s time that Invasion got in the ring and backed up his comments. It’s been ages since he held a title in this federation and with the way things are going, it may be a while before he holds another.

Shelly: I think Invasion needs to stop worrying about talking about the “Way It Is” and get in the ring and show everyone just exactly “The Way It Is.”

Elaine: Someone currently on a roll in WSCW is newcomer, Fantasia.


Fade in. We see Fantasia, with a mountain of mail before her, seated in her Vancouver home. A bandage is still wrapped around her head.]

Fantasia: Goodnight Irene look at all of these bills. (Looks to the camera) You could have told me you were taping!

Camera Dude: Sorry.

Fantasia: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The good news is the postal strike is over. The bad news is I got a ton of bills today. Joy. Shiva, last week we both beat the living hell out of one another. Sadly for you I was the one who got her hand raised. It almost makes taking that beating from Monica Bryant worth it. Almost. Monica sweetheart, if you’re not kissing up to the Femmes and actually have time to hear this, I want a rematch. This time, though, let’s toss count-outs & DQ’s out the window. One on one to a positive finish. And this time, you’ll be the one needing the stitches.

Shelly: Fantasia wanting another shot at Monica Brant.

Elaine: This may be the perfect opportunity for Fantasia to get a win over Brant. She’s totally distracted with the likes of Rage, Scott and Shiva.

Shelly: It’s time for our feature match. Before we head down, we wish everyone a wonderful weekend and we’ll see you next week on Primal Rage.

Davey Scott vs. Mr. America

Ring Announcer: This match is scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit! Introducing first! Hailing from Flagstaff, Arizona. And weighing in at 250lbs. Here is Davey Scott!

Davey Scott makes his way down to ringside and jacks at the crowd a bit before getting into the ring.]

Ring Announcer: His opponent! Hailing from Washington D.C and weighing in at 262lbs. Here is Mr. America!

“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC plays as Mr. America makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Mr. America climbs into the ring and notices a woman, wearing a skimpy robe, holding up a sign that says, “I love you Davey! You’re my SEXY BOY!” Mr. America shakes his head and exits the ring. Mr. America grabs the house mic off the announcer’s table.]

America: So, what do we have here? If I didn’t know any better I’d say it was a repeat of Halloween Horror. You remember what happened there, don’t you Davey?

Mr. America smirks and walks over to the woman holding the sign.]

America: It would seem that you have a fan too, but why on Earth someone like this would cheer you is beyond me.

The woman holds up the sign higher. Mr. America says something to her. She takes a swing, but misses. Mr. America takes the sign and throws it to the other side of the crowd.]

America: From the looks of things, you look like that robe is the only thing you have on. Are you that much of a Davey Scott fan that’d you stoop that low? Christ! I wonder what Jennifer’s thinking right now.

The crowd starts to stir. Davey Scott motions for Mr. America to get into the ring.]

America: All in good time, Davey. I just wanna talk to you for a moment before I show you who the master of the piledriver is.

The crowd stirs a bit more as Taleis hops over the guardrail and slides in under the bottom rope.]

America: The fact is Davey. You’re not too bright because you left a loophole in your little arrangement for the match. You see no Femmes down here.

Taleis levels Davey Scott with a pair of brass knuckles to the back of his head, sending Scott to the mat.]

America: Taleis isn’t a Femme though.

Mr. America smirks and drops the mic. Taleis picks Davey Scott up and nails him with a military press diamond cutter. Mr. America slides into the ring and brings Davey Scott to his feet. He sets Davey Scott up and nails him with a double-underhook piledriver. He picks Scott up again and nails him with a piledriver. He picks Scott up for a third time and nails him with a Tombstone. He brings Scott to his feet and uses the Spinning Piledriver on him. He brings Scott to his feet for a final time and raises his arms in the air. He nails Scott with the Leaping Piledriver. Mr. America asks for the mic again as Taleis picks Scott up and nails him with a leaping piledriver of his own. Mr. America smirks.]

America: That was decent Tal, but we’ll work on it a bit more. So, do you get the message now Davey? Has it finally sunk in? You want to take the place of old Billy Smith, but you can’t do that right. You’re a new player in this game and I’d suggest you just stay on the sidelines instead of trying to make yourself out as the bad boy of this federation. I’m sure as hell not the bad guy because I’m already da American guy, but I digress. There’s a vast world of difference between you and myself Davey.

Taleis picks Davey up and puts on a double chickenwing to hold Davey.]

America: I know how to piss off people. It’s one thing I do best and frankly I don’t need some lackey like you trying to outdo me when you don’t have a chance in hell. You don’t know the finer points of the game like I do. You don’t have the verbal ability to annoy the hell out of someone. You don’t have the arrogance or the ego that drives people up the wall Davey, and you sure as hell aren’t me. I’m what every American aspires to be Davey and I can piss people off because that’s what America’s Perfection does best!

Mr. America slaps Davey Scott around.]

America: Hoist him up.

Mr. America drops the mic as Taleis lifts Davey Scott onto his shoulders. Mr. America climbs to the top buckle and takes Scott to the mat with the Flying Diamond Cutter, though it’s evident Taleis does the move better. Mr. America puts Davey Scott into a double chickenwing as Taleis picks up the mic.]

Taleis: Why do I get the strangest feeling of Deja vu here? I mean. Hasn’t this all happened before?

Taleis waves the mic around at the crowd, who voice their displeasure.]

Taleis: Bah. Who cares what you think? So, Davey, how are you feeling, eh? Still conscious?

Taleis holds the mic up to Davey, who stares ahead blankly.]

Taleis: Hm. well, I guess we’ll just have to wake you up, then.

Taleis holds the mic between his knees. He grabs Davey Scott’s nose with two fingers, then slaps down with his other hand. Scott yells out a curse and tries to move his hands up to his nose, but America has him locked in the double chicken wing. Scott’s nose begins bleeding.]

Taleis: Ah, much better. Now that you’re awake, Davey, I can pass our sentence upon you. [assumes formal tones] Davey Scott, for committing the crime of being a sorry, no-talent piece of crap, I sentence you to fourteen days imprisonment -- in the intensive care unit.

Mr. America lifts Scott onto his shoulders as Taleis drops the mic. Taleis heads to the top buckle and comes off with a Flying Diamond Cutter. Mr. America picks the mic back up.]

America: The saddest thing is you’ve got a groupie following you around when we all know America’s Perfection could make her aspirations come true.

Mr. America exits the ring as Taleis clotheslines Davey Scott over the ring. Mr. America grabs Davey and drags him back towards the locker room area. He stops part way and clotheslines Davey over the guardrail. Taleis exits the ring and hops over the guardrail. Taleis grabs Davey Scott and drags him to the entrance. Mr. America hops the guardrail. The three get to the vendor area of the arena where Monica Brant stands.]

Monica: Thanks, America. You know (She says, as she grinds a high-heeled boot into Davey’s back.) for a moronic, loud-mouthed American, you’re not half bad.

America: Yeah, and for a big-nosed, blue light special buyin’, Canadian who knows about as much fashion as she does wrestling, next to zilch, you’re not so bad yourself.

Monica: (She laughs, looks down at Davey and shakes her head.) You know something, Davey? You know what the worst part of this is? It’s not over yet. Oh no. America’s worked out his beef with you, but my turn is coming. And you won’t even know what hit you. (She stomps him a few times, and then walks to one side.) Thanks, guys, I appreciate your help.

Mr. America picks up Davey Scott and tosses him into a nearby T-shirt stand.]

America: After working up such a sweat, I need a drink.

Mr. America walks over to a vendor and orders four beers. He comes back and hands one to Taleis and one to Monica Brant.]

Taleis: I hope they don’t water it down as much as they did in the old UCP arena.

Taleis grins.]

Brant: (Takes a sip, and scrunches up her face.) That’s the worst part about being strictly a US fed now, I can’t even get good beer. (She sighs, downs the can, and then tosses it in a recycling container.)

America: I’ll be back. Someone else looks a bit thirsty.

Mr. America makes his way back through the crowd. He gets a fan to hold his two beers as he hops the guardrail. He gets the beers back as the fans cheers like crazy because he feels special now. Mr. America walks over to the commentator’s booth and sits down next to Biff Franklin.]

America: What’s up Biff?

Biff Franklin eyes the other beer in Mr. America’s hands.]

Biff: Not much really. Just watching some good ol’ fashioned carnage.

America: Ed?

Ed: What did you have to do that for? There wasn’t a call for that!

Mr. America shrugs.]

America: So, Biff what’s it like carrying this broadcasting team?

Biff: Hardwork, lemme tell ya.

America: Well, you looked like you needed a beer with all the slack you’re picking up for Ed. Here ya go.

Mr. America hands Biff Franklin the beer and gets up.]

Biff: Thanks!

Biff takes a huge swig of the beer, downing half of it.]

America: I wouldn’t drink it that fast. You’re gonna have to make it last.

Mr. America walks back up the aisle and is confronted by the WSCW Commissioner who appears to be giving him a good chewing out. America waves him off and walks past him back to the locker room as the Commissioner heads down to the ringside area to where Ed and Biff are...]

Ed: *standing up* I take it you’re here to make some sort of announcement?

Commish: You got that right. This situation with Davey Scott is getting way out of hand. Granted, he probably deserves all he gets, but this is just getting to be too much. There has to be some order in this federation.

Biff: You’re gonna try and make some order out of all of this?

Commish: That’s right. Medical personnel are attending to Davey Scott but I’m officially signing this match for Deck The Halls. Taleis to face Davey Scott. One on one inside a steel cage. Hell, just to make sure no one can interfere, we’re gonna put a lid on the damn thing. That’s all.

The commissioner storms off]

Ed: There you have it. Just added. Taleis vs. Davey Scott enclosed in a cage for Deck The Halls. We’re completely out of time, so for everyone here as The Gospel Truth, we’ll see you next week for Primal Rage.