Major press conference as it pertains to the future of the UCP; Traci Lane defends the UCP Championship against Taleis; Asian Invasion tangles with Virgo for the TV Championship; Anthony Hazard tries to get back into the running as he takes on Rachel Ryan; Monica Brant battles Fantasia and Mr. America takes on Godiva Rage; Shiva goes one on one with Consuelo Salyards and a startling turn of events as it pertains to the North American Championship
Brand new Primal Rage opening sequence plays, showing a couple of dinosaurs in wrestling tights going at it. As the shot pans out, we see them in the ring, and a large gathering of cavemen in the “audience… The Shot continues to pan until the golden red sky it all we see and the stone lettering “Primal Rage” appears. The sequence shatters as we are taken to a packed house with fireworks and pyrotechnics.]
Ed: Welcome to our very first Primal Rage! We are LIVE in Sacramento California and these fans are fanatical tonight. I’m Ed Bagel and joining me tonight is Ed Bagel for color.
Biff: No introductions needed, friend.
Ed: Now, I was /just/ handed a note saying that a special press conference would be held immediately following this event and it will be broadcast live, so you might stay tuned for that, but we are ready for our first match of the night, so let’s go down to ringside!
Monica Brant vs. Fantasia
Announcer: This is our first contest of the night. It is set for one fall. Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 159 pounds. This is Monica Brant!
Monica Brant heads down to ringside and enters the ring and waits for her opponent.]
Ring Announcer: And her opponent.
“Deuces Are Wild” by Aerosmith blasts over the P.A. system.”]
Ring Announcer: From Vancouver, British Columbia Canada weighing in at 176 pounds-Fantasia!
The house lights go out and a lone spotlight follows Fantasia to the ringside area.]
Ed: And they are on. Both lock up, and Fantasia to the buckle after a whip, but wait. Reversal! Fantasia runs into Monica with the shoulder. Ooh. That got to hurt!
Biff: No, what hurts is the fact I have to sit next to you, bonehead. Fantasia tries to put Brant on the turnbuckle. Trying is the key word. However, a block.
Ed: Monica Brant executes an armdrag takedown, and a sleeperhold. Monica Brant is not wasting anytime.
Biff: Yea but then again, she takes care of business as usual, after releasing the hold she goes for an abdominal but is thrown off by Fantasia. Monica
is begging off. Wow, a Mistress begging off, that a first!
Ed: However, her opponent is not showing any mercy, after a reverse DDT, followed by a flying fistdrop! Monica is up, then down with a running forearm smash from Fantasia. Monica is receiving a hell of a beating so far.
Biff: Yea, the whip is in another hands for a change. Someone will show this two bit [censor: who boss around here! Fantasia goes for a dropkick to the knee. Wait. Monica Brant steps out of the way!! Monica tries the clothesline, but Fantasia ducks! Monica too slow. Might be why she is considering the Femmes. She just too slow for us men!
Ed: I would watch what you say, anyways, Fantasia to the top. Wow. Monica with a punch to the stomach, and she falls to the top buckle and. superplex from Monica!
Biff: About time she started working at it. It takes two you know!
Ed: Just call it as you see it, ok? Brant with a clothesline. Brant with a tombstone. That ought to do it. One. two. Shoulders up. Fantasia knocked out of that one.
Biff: These two broads can come and go, but when it comes to piledrivers, there only two men who delivers them with style!
Ed: Unfortunately, I have to agree with you. However, that is not relevant to this match. Monica Brant brings Fantasia down to the floor with a chokeslam!
Biff: I give that a Richter of 1. Small tremors! Fantasia whipped to the ropes, and. wait. Reversal, Monica comes back and pushes Fantasia out of the ring.
Ed: Woo. That must of been some fall and Monica follows, and. ut oh, things are heating up. They are brawling on the floor!
Biff: Oh no, a catfight. Come on ladies, this is wrestling, not ballroom dancing! Fantasia thrown back into the ring, and Monica follows again’ She must like Fantasia. She follows her everywhere she goes.
Ed: Geez, you getting about as bad as Davey Scott, who is still in the house tonight, who. Wait what is this.
Biff: Yes, Davey is coming down to the broadcasting station. Welcome to the broadcast Davey!
Davey: I just came down here to take a look at what I might be up against next week, as you can see right there, Monica is nothing but a has been tramp who doesn’t know who she is.
Ed: Monica seems to notice your here Davey, but paying no mind. Brant with a hotshot, and armbar submission.
Davey: Slow. That’s the problem with most women, they go for the long holds, but they forget that the power moves can slow a person down real quick.
Biff: And that the way it is.
Davey: Don’t sound like Asian Invasion on me Biff.
Ed: On with the match guys. Fantasia has broken away, and Brant goes for a spinning leg lariat, but Fantasia again ducks and what this. She catches her, and a swinging neckbreaker! Now she is blowing a kiss to the crowd.
Davey: She better blow a kiss to my ass, cause next week on the Thanksgiving Matchup, that exactly what she will be doing!
Ed: And another swinging neckbreaker, and a cover. 1…2…kickout. Fantasia sure on fire tonight to survive both neckbreakers.
Davey: With women, it all luck. There no way this person they call the mistress could do such a thing with a man as big as I am.
Ed: Monica blows another kiss and she gets hit in the back of the head with a flying dropkick from Fantasia, who gotten up when Monica was doing. Well. What you used to do Mr. Scott.
Davey: And where did it get me. Nowhere. For one thing, it makes you unfocused, and another thing, it takes your eyes off what’s important. The opponent.
Biff: Monica and Fantasia on the top rope and a front-layout superplex.
Ed: Remind you of anything Mr. Scott?
Davey: Ahh shut up.
Ed: Monica trying to get up and begging again’
Davey: Beg all you want you little [censor]. Cause it won’t work next week.
Ed: Fantasia coming closer, and Monica Brant executes a roundhouse right. Wow, what a burst of energy! However, not fazing Fantasia, throws Monica over the top rope and down to the concrete. The Ref is counting.
Biff: After a slow wait, Brant finally made it in!
Davey: Oh well.
Ed: Brant to the ropes, and an Asai Moonsault by Fantasia. Fantasia to the ropes, and hits Monica with a clothesline! Fantasia seems to be doing we’ll against a highly skilled wrestler.
Davey: No skill to it. Just the hardness of the item in the purse.
Biff: You got a point. However, Fantasia with a spinning DDT! Fantasia with an elbow to Monica. A cover. 1. 2. Kickout!
Ed: A stubborn one Monica is! A flying fistdrop on Monica! Another. Wait, no. a punch to the midsection! Monica up and. OOH. Gorilla Press by Monica Brant!!
Davey: What? She forget to shave her armpits again?
Ed: You are not helping Davey. Brant with a piledriver, but backdropped! Fantasia with a DDT, followed by a diving elbow smash! Monica is thrown to the turnbuckle, and she is begging off!
Davey: She must like the domineering business. Accept she likes being dominated, not dominating. I thought this [censor: was banned from public TV??
Biff: Fantasia with a backdrop driver, followed up by a chokeslam of her own!
Ed: Flying el. nooo. Monica rolled out of the way. Both slowly getting up, but. Fantasia thrown over the ropes as Monica follows! Monica Brant knocks Fantasia into the ringpost. Fantasia is busted wide open!
Davey: Better call the nurses!! Wait, they are in the ring.
Biff: Monica Brant with a spinning power bomb, and back into the ring. After a while, Fantasia follows. Fantasia thrown to the ropes, and Monica thrown to the ropes and Monica misses the kick.
Davey: You mean, you expected her to hit her?
Ed: Fantasia with a backdrop, followed by a Spinning DDT! Monica is in trouble, and there goes her begging again’ A heartless DDT from Fantasia. That what begging means to her! Fantasia is so split open, blood is gushing out. The last time we saw blood spurting out like that. Well. I think the record goes to you and Mr. America for the most blood lost in the ring for this season.
Davey: Hey, it doesn’t matter how much blood you loss. The only thing that matters is who kicks who ass and that night, he got EXTREMELY lucky!
Biff: Monica Brant goes for a Gorilla Press, but Fantasia counters it with a rolling reverse cradle. One, two, shoulder up. Close on!
Ed: Too close. Fantasia whips Monica Brant into the turnbuckle and charges her with a running arm smash. She must be confident now that she is losing a lot of blood and the mistress is begging.
Davey: Heh. That will be the day.
Biff: Fantasia attempts to put Monica on the top, but Monica blocks. Fantasia attempts to place Monica Brant on the turnbuckle, but Monica Brant blocks it. However, Monica still gets it with a flying forearm from Fantasia!
Ed: Fantasia gaining an advantage here. A dropkick to Monica’s knee! Ooh. Imagine the devastating effect that would have on some wrestlers. Shall we name a few?
Davey: She gets even close with that move. It will be lights out, flat on the back, and no mercy.
Davey: Did I ask you to comment?
Davey: Then shut up!
Biff: A reverse DDT, and a cover…1…2…kickout! Fantasia whips Monica to the ropes, and Monica misses the clothesline!
Davey: She either blind as a bat or has no skill once so ever. Cause a child could of done that move better than she did.
Ed: Fantasia with a jumping DDT, followed by. Another jumping DDT. Monica put up on top, and. SUPERPLEX! And a cover. one. two. thre. Kickout as the Ref was about to call three!
Davey: Wasn’t there a time limit? These two broads can go at it for hours.
Biff: Yea, whatever happen to a time limit. Anyways, A Jumping DDT by Fantasia, and Monica falls out of the ring from dizziness. Fantasia gets out of the ring and oooh. Bad move. Monica whips Fantasia to the guardrail!
Ed: And a powerslam! You know, those are worst on the outside and point been proven. Fantasia not getting up, and Monica dragging herself into the ring and. there the bell!
Davey: It is about damn time.
Announcer: The winner is Monica Brant. Time of match: 0: 14: 44
Davey begins to get up to leave, and Monica Brant’s seems to shouting something to him, and he still has a mic on him. Nobody can hear what Monica saying. Well, except Davey…]
Davey: What? No, you don’t want a piece of me. You will be going down next week. You call yourself the mistress? Well, meet your new master! Yea, right. Sure. Whatever. I will buy a new chain and dog collar just your size. Yea. Don’t worry. I will see you next week. Yea. Pbbt.
Davey walks off ignoring Monica…]
Ed: Great showing for Monica Brant as she prepares for an Internet Title match at our next PPV called Deck the Halls, but she has Davey Scott to deal with next week on a special edition of Primal Rage.
Biff: I wanna see how her re-alliance with the Femmes is gonna effect Brant.
Ed: Once again, I was handed a note just before we went on the air that the commissioner of the UCP will give a press conference that will deal with the future of our federation.
Biff: Do you know what’s going on?
Ed: I’ve only heard rumors on the Internet.
Biff: So you don’t know.
Ed: This next match features a couple of competitors seemingly headed in opposite directions. It pits the Enforcer of the Femmes, Rachel Ryan, against “The Legend,” Anthony Hazard, who has been uncharacteristically quiet lately.
Biff: I don’t get it myself. Just when he’d found a MUCH better attitude, he just sorta disappears. What’s going through the Hazard’s mind?
Ed: There’s no telling. Meanwhile, Rachel Ryan embroiled in a conflict with the man who considers himself the original Enforcer of the OWA, Adam Sanchez, a match we’ll be seeing at an upcoming pay-per-view. It’s time for the match, so let’s go up to the ring for introductions.
Anthony Hazard vs. Rachel Ryan
Announcer: This next contest is one fall. First introducing first, weighing in at 207 lbs., representing the Elite! This is Anthony Hazard!
(Hazard, wearing his black leather jacket with “The Legend” sewn into the back, strides out of the back. His face is unshaven and his hair is a bit unkempt. Ignoring the fans, he traverses the aisle and slides into the ring.)
Announcer: And his opponent. She hails from Chicago, ILLINOIS, weighing in at 205 pounds’ ‘She is the Enforcer of the Femme Fatal. This is Rachel. Ryan!!!
(The opening strains of Judas Priest’s “Hell Bent for Leather” crank as the sound of a motorcycle revving rumbles over the arena. Tipton and Downing trade licks furiously as Rachel Ryan rolls out on her custom Harley, chrome gleaming in the lights as strobes flash down upon her. She wears a studded leather jacket over her black posing bikini, her powerful body oiled and glistening. Rachel guides the bike around the ring, her fist raised as the fans cheer wildly. Upon completing the circle, she dismounts, allowing a pair of attendants to guide the bike back as she climbs up the steps and into the ring.)
Ed: Quite a production from the Enforcer of the Femmes, Rachel Ryan.
Biff: Where the hell does she think she is? Sturgis?
Ed: She probably attends that rally, Biff. Rachel’s as at home on a bike as she is in a wrestling ring. There’s the bell, and these two combatants lock up in ring center. Ryan muscles Hazard back into a corner, and there’s the break.
Biff: And there’s one reason why I don’t like Ryan as much as I once did. A clean break? She shoulda clocked. im!
Ed: There’s nothing wrong with showing some respect for your opponent, Biff. They lock back up, and it’s Hazard with a forearm shot to Ryan. Pickup and a bodyslam, and he follows it with an elbowdrop — Ryan rolls away! Hazard back to his feet, and Ryan with a scoop and a slam. She follows it up with a fistdrop, and Hazard gets up groggy.
Biff: Now Ryan sends him down again with a short clothesline. There’s a cover. Kickout at one. She pulls him up — Hazard with a shot to the midsection. He hooks her up, and brings her over for a vertical suplex.
Ed: He rolls through for the cover — strong kickout by Ryan. Both parties back up, and Hazard takes her down with a leaping clothesline. Now he’s into the ropes, and there’s a perfectly executed kneedrop. Ryan still down, and Hazard drops an elbow onto her. He pulls her to stand, takes her around the waist — belly to belly suplex. Hazard still displaying his tremendous skill.
Biff: A display don’t cut it — you’ve gotta perform consistently. Hazard’s only sporadically been in championship form lately.
Ed: That’s when he he’s even wrestled. Ryan up, and Hazard going for a flying dropkick — Ryan sidesteps. He’s scrambling back to stand, and she LEVELS him with a clothesline. Hazard flat on his back, and Ryan into the ropes. She jumps — legdrop across Hazard’s chest. Now she picks him up, elevates him, and brings him back down for a vertical suplex.
Biff: Ryan’s power becoming a difference in this match. Hazard to his feet, and Ryan with a shoulderblock that sends him stumbling back and through the ropes to the floor.
Ed: Ryan out after him. She pulls him up — and Hazard with a knee to the midsection. He takes her by the hair and slings her into the ringsteps — what impact!
Biff: Ryan took that one hard on her shoulder. Now Hazard after her, picks her up, and slings her into the guardrail. He’s really going after her here.
Ed: Both these wrestlers at home on the floor. Hazard putting the boots to Ryan, who is trying to get to her feet. He’s pulled her to stand, and slings her toward the ringpost —
Biff: Reversed! Hazard crashes forehead-first into the post! He’s busted open! \\
Ed: Ryan slow to pursue, but she grabs him and slings him back into the ring. Hazard clearly groggy from that contact. Rachel slowly climbing the ropes as Hazard pulls himself up. He turns and Ryan with a flying clothesline from the top rope!
Biff: That was a big play from the Enforcer! She knows how to follow up.
Ed: Rachel now stuff him in, raises her fist — jackknife power bomb!
Biff: That’s the setup!
Ed: You’re absolutely right. Rachel signaling to the crowd, and now she pulls Hazard into her arms — gorilla press! She turns a circle with him overhead, then pulls him to her, spins — Gorilla Press Powerslam!
Biff: What impact!
Ed: She drops across his chest. one. two. THREE!!! And Ryan with a big win over Anthony Hazard as she prepares to face Adam Sanchez.
Announcer: The winner in 9: 14, The Enforcer. Rachel Ryan!
Biff: All I can say is that if Hazard wants to return to the upper echelon, he’s gonna have to be more active. He’s been nowhere to be found since the UCP kicked in’ I wanna see this guy act like he cares.
Ed: Hazard acquitted himself we’ll against Ryan. Let’s see if he can capitalize in the coming weeks. Coming up, we have the former North American Champion, Consuelo Salyards taking on Shiva in a two out of three falls match.
Biff: Shiva all the way, man.
Ed: Speaking of Shiva, she’s outside of the arena so let’s get some comments.
In the alleyway, a minute before the match. Shiva and CookLie stand leaning on the wall, looking quite relaxed. Shiva is still sporting a cut under her eye from her match against Mariko; her sunglasses resting on top of her head.]
CookLie: Bloody hell ain’t that cleared up yet?
Shiva: god no. that little tramp had something on her boot for all I know.
CookLie: Who you got now?
Shiva: Some chick named Consuelo something. Another one of them Femmes. Another former champion.
CookLie: Looks like the head of this biz either loves ya or hates ya.
Shiva, dabbing at her cut with a cloth: Hates me probably. I’m, not no stereotypical no-dressed tart this league is so proud of. Not winning any popularity awards either. But whatever I don’t care. I’m getting my money and that’s all I care.
“Sweet Dreams” comes over the PA.]
Guess it’s showtime. Take care sis and get me some brew for afterwards. I’m taking a break from this “wrestling” nonsense. There an Arsenal game on the tele tonight?
CookLie: Don’t think so luv. *takes the cloth* Go get another head for the mantelpiece.
Shiva: Righto. Later. *pulls her sunglasses down over her eyes and turns and walks down the aisle*
Shiva vs. Consuelo Salyards
Ring Announcer: Introducing first! Hailing from Newcastle, England here is Shiva!
Shiva walks down the aisle to boos from the crowd, but doesn’t really care at all. Shiva climbs into the ring and bounces off the ropes to test them.]
Ed: Strong comments from Shiva. Consuelo is a former champion, and she doesn’t need to take her lightly.
Biff: Yeah and Mariko was a champion as we’ll and Shiva ran through her.
Ring Announcer: Her opponent! Here is former North American Champion, the “Latin Lover” Consuelo Salyards!
Salyards’ entrance music plays as she makes her way to the ring. Consuelo Salyards enters the ring as the crowd is still cheering for her. She climbs to the second turnbuckle and works the crowd. She hops off and gets ready to wrestle.]
Ed: There’s the bell and we have a lock up. Shiva forces Salyards back to the ropes and the ref calls for the break. No! Shiva with a punch and a whip to the ropes, but Salyards reverses it. Shiva comes off and grabs Salyards’ arm and takes her to the mat with an armbar submission.
Biff: Shiva lets go of that armbar and brings Salyards back to her feet. She whips Salyards into the ropes. Salyards with a thrust kick to the head and Shiva hits the mat hard. Salyards goes up top. Flying legdrop and a cover! One, tw. Shiva gets her shoulder up. Salyards brings Shiva to her feet.
Ed: Salyards with a whip into the ropes and she sets for a backdrop. Shiva with a kick and Salyards telegraphed that move. Shiva with double underhook and there’s a piledriver! She pulls Salyards back up and a backbreaker now. Shiva with a clawhold applied and she’s grinding at Salyards’ face. Salyards gets to the ropes and Shiva breaks the hold. Shiva pulls Salyards to her feet and sets her up. Double underhook into a backbreaker!
Biff: Shiva rebounds off the ropes as Salyards gets to her feet and she takes Salyards over with a crucifix! The ref is in position! One, two, thr. Salyards kicks out barely!
Ed: That was closer than Salyards would’ve liked. Salyards back to her feet and she nails Shiva with a thrust kick to the head that staggers Shiva back to the turnbuckle! Salyards to the opposite turnbuckle! She goes in with a handspring elbow, but Shiva side steps! Salyards hits the turnbuckle and Shiva dumps her right out of the ring!
Biff: Salyards gets back to her feet as Shiva rebounds and Shiva slides at Salyards! Salyards side steps and Shiva slides right out of the ring! Salyards charges at Shiva and nails her with a flying forearm! Shiva hits the ground as does Salyards and Salyards back to her feet and she heads to the ring apron.
Ed: The ref has started the count, one, two, three…
Biff: Salyards goes for a flying legdrop, but no one’s home! She hits the arena floor with a thud and that had to hurt her pride!! Shiva grabs
Ed: four, five, six.
Biff: DDT onto the arena floor! Shiva pulls Salyards back up and a backbreaker! These two need to get back into the ring!
Ed: Seven, eight.
Biff: Shiva sets her up for another DDT, but Salyards counters with a backdrop!
Biff: Salyards with a thrust kick to the head!!
Ed: Ten! Salyards climbs back into the ring as the bell rings, but it’s too late. Let’s get the official word.
Ring Announcer: Both wrestlers were counted out, as a result, the Ref has declared this match a draw!
The crowd boos as Shiva glares at the ref and walks back up the aisle. Consuelo Salyards throws him a look as she exits the ring and walks back up the aisle.]
Ed: Neither of those two were happy about the outcome of the match.
Biff: Yeah, but they were too busy pummeling each other outside of the ring to notice it.
Ed: Let’s get a couple of words from Asian Invasion who will be looking to regain the UCP TV title tonight from Virgo.
(Back in the locker room area, Asian Invasion is seen laying on a plush leather couch, watching college football. He looks up at the camera, mutes the TV, and begins.)
Asian Invasion: Well, it’s you guys again’ I wished that maybe, just maybe, with this new league, that you stupid cameramen would stop barging in here during my pre-match inspiration time, but, That’s why they call it a wish huh??? Anyway, you’re probably all wondering. Asian, this is the chance you’ve wanted ever since you were wrongfully robbed of your TV title so long ago, why are you watching football and not preparing? And the answer is simple, but I guess that’s why you all are morons. I mean sure, a win here would give me a chance to regain the title that is truly mine, and I’m pumped as hell of course, but, when you get anxious, you make mistakes, and That’s what I will NOT do.
Davey Scott, Mr. Nobody, you think that you can run your mouth, rip on me, and then you’ll get yourself a triangle match??? You know, I can’t believe they let you host the Gospel Truth, after I did it, I thought they were going for class hosts, not rambling fools. You want a match with me, get in line, and take a number. I’ll get to whoopin’ your ass any day now.
And finally, Taleis, the poster child for birth control. You know what boy, you seem to not know what’s good for you. You can go around threatening me all you want, you know why, you don’t have to. I’d love to go out and beat your ass. I beat on trash like you for years, you can say how you’re gonna “make sure that I never win a title”, but, unless it’s the Preschool Thumb Wrestling Championship, I wouldn’t have to worry about you winning a title. So, since thinking about you gives me a headache, yes Taleis, I will wrestle you, in a NON-TITLE match since you’re so not obsessed with the TV title… Speaking of which, I’ve got a title to go win, and That’s The Way It Is.
The scene cuts back to Ed and Biff.]
Ed: Strong words from Asian Invasion as usual.
Biff: Yeah, and he’s looking to defeat Virgo tonight. I don’t know what’s going through Virgo’s head right now.
Ed: Up next we have Executioner defending his belt against Davey Scott. Scott has been on a tear as of late with his only defeat coming at the hands of Mr. America in the finals of the Wheel of Torture tournament.
Biff: Yeah, but both of these guys are blowhards.
Outside the locker room, sits a man who is ready to hop into action. Not literally, figuratively. Shelly was there trying to get a world with the man himself, who is about to go for the gold, and knowing Davey, a few surprises may be in store…]
Shelly: Now Davey.
Davey: What? Did I forget to put the “Don’t disturb” or something?
Davey: Ah shut up. As you know, I am about to go to the emotionally flooded. Someone who has so worried about Freddy Fever, that I swear this match will be dedicated to Freddy. In fact, any title match I think that man will go into will be a dedicated to Freddy. Come on, Freddy is at the end of career, let it be. cause it time for the new wave to come in’ However, this wave of delusional and misguided wrestlers will soon need a leader, to guide them to all that is right, and show them the future of wrestling. Who else would be qualified then a veteran who is experienced, and an athlete who is still kicking! Tonight, I shall start my reign and conquest with the destruction of the UCP eliminator, Executioner. Executioner, you are much like Shogun. Too feudal aged. And THAT IS why like Shogun, you shall fall! Your title is nothing but a belt to keep your pants up. Your championship is without substance. It is time for someone who will take the championship to the highest reign of hierarchy it could possibly achieve! Executioner. Look at Billy and Asian Invasion. Two street punks. Down and out! Executioner, you are NEXT!
Davey walks off to the arena as the camera fades to Ed and Biff.]
Ed: Davey Scott is focused tonight on winning that belt.
Biff: Let’s see if he can actually do it and win his first title.
North American Championship: Executioner vs. Davey Scott
Ring Announcer: Introducing first! Hailing from Phoenix, Arizona and weighing in at 250lbs. Here is Davey Scott!
Davey Scott’s entrance music plays as the fans boo. Davey Scott walks down to the ring paying no attention and climbs into the ring.]
Ring Announcer: His opponent! Here is the current North American Champion, Executioner!
Executioner’s entrance music plays as the fans cheer. Executioner walks to the ring and climbs in’ He takes the title from around his waist and holds it up in the air. He hands it to the ref and stares at Davey Scott.]
Ed: This match is going to be brutal. Executioner has the experience factor, but Scott looks really intense. Executioner turns around and Scott’s going for the advantage! He charges and Executioner turns around! Flying clothesline, but Executioner ducks out of the way!
Biff: Good strategy by Scott, but Executioner is experienced. Executioner with a single-leg takedown and he gets to his feet and nails Scott with an enzuigiri. Executioner back to his feet and he pulls Scott to his feet. Scott with an earringer and that stuns Executioner. Scott goes for another one, but Executioner backdrops him!
Ed: Executioner takes him down with a backbreaker. He goes to the top buckle, but Scott was back to his feet and met him there! Scott throws him to the mat! Scott grabs Executioner and ropeburn now.
Biff: That’s what it will take to win this match.
Ed: True, Scott now goes for a spin kick, but Executioner ducks out of the way! Scott back to his feet and he nails Executioner with a clothesline! Scott to the second turnbuckle. Elbowdrop! Here’s a cover! One, tw. Executioner kicks out. Scott not happy but he’s back to his feet. Executioner to his feet and he nails Scott with a knee to the back! Scott hits the mat and Executioner goes up top!
Biff: He leaps off with a Frankensteiner, but Scott steps out of the way and Executioner hits the mat hard! Scott pulls Executioner up and goes for a kneelift, but Executioner steps to the side and Scott hits the mat. Executioner places Scott onto the top buckle. belly-to-back superplex! Executioner rebounds off the ropes. Asai moonsault and a cover! One, two, thr. Scott kicks out!
Ed: Scott just barely beating that count. Executioner pulls him back up to his feet. He whips him into the buckle, but Scott reverses. NO! Executioner reverses it himself and sends Scott right into the ref! Both Scott and the ref go down! Executioner with a jack-knife power bomb! He’s setting up. He’s got the Cross-Face Chickenwing on! He’s got it on, but the ref is out!
Biff: Scott has already tapped out too! The ref still isn’t moving and Executioner releases the hold! He’s going to check on the ref and Scott rolling towards a corner. He’s got the Internet title!! Executioner turns around and is met with the title to his face! Scott tosses the title to the corner and falls on for the cover!
Ed: The ref moves over. ONE….TWO….THREE!! We have a new North American Champion!! Davey Scott has won his first UCP title!
Ring Announcer: The winner of the match and NEW UCP North American Champion, Davey Scott in a time of 21 minutes and 24 seconds!
The ref helps Executioner out of the ring. Executioner moves away from the ref and throws him a look as he walks back up the aisle. Davey Scott celebrates in the ring to a chorus of boos. He looks at the title and exits the ring. He takes the title and throws it into a trash can and walks back up the aisle.]
Ed: WHAT!? Davey has just thrown the Internet Title into the trash!
Biff: What the hell?? Is that kid on crack or something!? He *had* a title in his hands!
Ed: Hold on, I hear Davey is back in his locker room already and has some words for us.
Davey is laughing at the TV as he looks at the replay of the Internet Title match, Davey couldn’t believe it. He was trying not to laugh, but laughter was all that was coming out of him. ]
Davey: Oh. Great. Camera men. Just enough to spoil my victory.
Elaine: Uhh Davey.
Davey: You know, I worked hard all my life to put everyone in their place, it is about time I put that title in its place. On its way to the nearest landfill. I could care less about the equality of the belt, it has no equal value to me! Why? It been devalue with some of the worst wrestlers to be in this federation, such as Rainbow Warrior, Billy Smith, Consuelo, and the man I just destroyed. Executioner. It wasn’t I deserved the title. The title didn’t deserve me. That title didn’t reach my level of greatness. Until they come out with the Davey Scott Championship Title. Then, nothing shall achieve the ultimate level of power. Nothing shall contain the greatest level of athletic ability, which I would carry till the end of my career, because they are all devalued by smuts and punks! Speaking of punks, get out of my room!
Pushes them out, and the door closes as you hear the evil cackle behind it. The scene goes back to Ed and Biff.]
Ed: Davey Scott not wanting the title?
Biff: I dunno, man. Slap ma fro!
Ed: Wha. ? Up next we have Godiva Rage taking on Mr. America.
Biff: Yeah, this match should be cool and violent!
Ed: Let’s hit the ring introductions.
Mr. America vs. Godiva Rage
Ring Announcer: Introducing first! Hailing from Washington D.C and weighing in at 250lbs. Here is Mr. America!
“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC plays as the crowd gives a mixed reaction. Mr. America walks to the ring and climbs in’ He works the crowd a bit.]
Ed: Mr. America was the winner of the Wheel of Torture Tournament and will face Traci Lane for the UCP title then if she can defeat Taleis tonight.
Biff: Well, it looks like Taleis will be taking on Mr. America at the December pay per view then.
Ring Announcer: His opponent! Introducing. Coming down the aisle, weighing 158lbs. from London, England. The British Bombshell. The lady extraordinaire. GODIVA RAAAAAGE!!!!
Godiva Rage flourishes down the aisle, wearing a belted white fur coat. She teases it off her bare shoulders, making the crowd wonder as she bounces up the ringsteps into the ring.]
Biff: I think I need to interview Godiva after this match.
Ed: I knew you were going to say that.
Biff: Look at Ms. Rage though and look at what true perfection is all about.
Ed: There’s the bell and the two lock up and America with the definite power advantage and he forces Rage back into the ropes. Whip into the ropes and Rage comes off with a shoulder tackle that takes America to the mat! Rage pulls America to his feet and she sets up for a Tombstone. Reversed by America!
Biff: America does know how to utilize those piledrivers. He goes to the top buckle as Rage gets to her feet. He takes her to the mat with a flying bulldog! America now applies a clawhold! He’s grinding his fingers into her temples and Rage gets to the ropes. America breaks the hold and turns to ye’ll something to the crowd.
Ed: He turns around and is met with a superkick from Rage! Rage rebounds off the ropes and hits America with a huge running forearm and she goes for the cover! One, two, and America kicks out! Rage comes off the ropes again, but is met with a running forearm from America this time! He heads to the top. Diving elbow smash and he applies an STF!
Biff: Rage is fighting her way to the ropes. She’s pulling America there, but America trying to keep her back. America lets go of the hold. Mr. America brings Rage to her feet and places her onto the turnbuckle. Front-layout superplex! Rage is hurting after that move.
Ed: America brings Rage to her feet and sets her into position for a piledriver, but Rage with a backdrop to counter the move! Rage back to her feet and she pulls America up. A reverse neckbreaker! She nails him with a double-axhandle chop. She follows that up with a superkick as America gets back to his feet! America hits the mat! Godiva….?
Ed: Godiva posing rather suggestively and she says a few things to America. She pulls him to his feet and props him up against the ropes and he still looks dazed. She continues to act suggestively.
Biff: She blows a kiss to America and whips him into the ropes. America comes off and nails her with a lariat that took her right out of her boots! America now pointing to himself.
America: I’m what every American aspires to be!
Ed: He looks down at Rage.
America: Because I am America’s Perfection!
Biff: Hold up! Davey Scott is coming down the aisle! This can’t be a good thing for America. America whips Rage into the ropes and goes for a flying forearm, but Rage ducks right under it and America hits the mat! Rage goes up top and comes off with a flying lariat only to be met with a fist to her gut! She’s in pain as she hits the mat! She’s hurt!
Ed: America signaling for the Leaping Piledriver he calls the Made in America and he pulls Rage to her feet and pulls her in and sets it up and Scott’s on the ring apron!
Biff: America shoves Rage to the mat and that’s not a good idea! America heads over towards Scott and gets into his face! Rage to her feet. She rolls America up!! One, two, three!! Rage has won this match!
Ed: America cost himself the match by getting distracted. Scott hops off the ring apron and laughs as he heads back up the aisle. Rage is to her feet and raises her arms in the air.
Ring Announcer: The winner of the match, in a time of 16 minutes and 53 seconds, GODIVA RAGE!
Biff: America with a flush look of anger. Rage still toying with him and she blows him a kiss. America turns around and turns around again and charges at Rage, who has her back turned!
Ed: America levels her with a lariat! Godiva over the top and out of the ring.
Biff: Well, maybe he’ll feel better now after attacking such a gorgeous woman.
Ed: He exits the ring and makes his way back up the aisle in a hurry!
Godiva Rage exits the ring and walks back up the aisle with a rather pissed off look on her face.]
Biff: Hell, what’s up next?
Ed: We’ve got Virgo defending his TV title against Asian Invasion.
Ed: Don’t forget about that special press conference to be held immediately following tonight’s broadcast.
Biff: Enough with the press conference already. Sheesh.
UCP TV Championship: Virgo vs. Asian Invasion
Ring Announcer: Introducing first! Here is a former OWA TV champion, Asian Invasion!
The lights all go out as you here Asian Invasion laughing over the PA, then saying, That’s The Way It Is, then a Rage Against The Machine songs kicks in, and Asian slowly struts to the ring. He stops at a little kid holding a sign reading, “Asian Invasion: Former Evil Empire CEO”, Asian stops, and high fives the kid, then jogs to the ring. Asian Invasion climbs into the ring.]
Ed: Asian has been looking to regain the TV title for quite some time.
Biff: I don’t know why either. The guy should move to one of the higher titles and forget about past glories. He’s got the potential, but it’s the desire he lacks.
Ed: Very good point, Biff.
Biff: Yeah, I know.
Ring Announcer: His opponent! About to come down the aisle, the Two Time UCP Television Champion, from Ontario Canada……here is……VIRGO!
. The Phantom’s Overture by Andrew Lloyd Webber blares out over the PA system. The arena lights start to flicker sporadically, as Virgo walks to the ring. He is carrying two belts on his shoulder, which he carries into the ring.]
Ed: Virgo comes to the ring with two belts tonight.
Biff: What the hell for? This isn’t that regional fed he’s also in’ He needs to leave that other title at home.
Ed: Whatever, Biff. Both men size each other up and there’s the bell! Lock up and Asian with a whip into the ropes, but Virgo reverses it! Asian comes off with a shoulder tackle. He scoops Virgo up and takes him to the mat with a bodyslam! Asian with a kneelift and he brings Virgo back to his feet. Another bodyslam. Asian rebounds off the ropes, but he’s caught by Virgo! Virgo’s getting ready for a chokeslam, but Asian counters with a low blow!
Biff: That‘ll take the steam outta ya. Asian back to his feet and he levels Virgo with a dropkick! He slaps on a bearhug this time and this isn’t the plan he needs to follow. Virgo has the strength advantage it would appear. Virgo breaks the hold finally and puts his arms around Asian for a bearhug. He takes him over with a belly-to-belly suplex! Here’s a cover! One, two, Asian gets his shoulder up!
Ed: Close fall for Virgo, and he’s not letting up. He grabs Asian, and chokeslams him to the mat! Virgo with a head of steam as he rebounds off the ropes and levels Asian with a clothesline! Asian hits the mat and Virgo applies an armbar submission! Asian making his way to the ropes. He finally reaches them after a few seconds. Virgo brings Asian to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Football tackle by Asian sends Virgo the mat! Asian applies an Indian deathlock. He bridges back and applies that chinlock turning it into a chinlock deathlock submission!
Biff: Good move, but it doesn’t beat my Asiatic Spike! Virgo reaches out and gets the ropes and Asian breaks the hold. Asian back to his feet and he pulls Virgo up. He takes him down with a backbreaker. Asian with a facerake and he follows it up with a bodyslam! Asian with a diving shoulderblock! He’s got Virgo on the run here! Asian places Virgo against the ropes and chokes him with that second rope!
Ed: The ref has started his count! One, two, three, four and Asian breaks the hold and starts choking again! One, two, three, four and he breaks again but reapplies the hold. One, two, three, four and he breaks and the ref isn’t happy this time! Asian backs off as Virgo grabs the TV title!
Biff: Virgo gets up and WHACK! He just nailed Asian Invasion with the title! The ref is calling for the bell! Virgo played this match smart. He doesn’t need to win to keep the title.
Ring Announcer: As a result of a disqualification, the winner of the match is Asian Invasion in a time of 10 minutes and 35 seconds. However, titles can only change hands via pinfalls and submission, so STILL the UCP TV champion, VIRGO!
Virgo exits the ring and takes his two titles back up the aisle with him. Asian Invasion rolls out of the ring, and while staggering, chases Virgo back up the aisle.]
Ed: Let’s go back to the UCP Studios and hear from Myers Watterson about Deck The Halls.
Myers: Thanks Ed. This is your Deck The Halls report.
We already know that Mr. America earned a shot at the UCP Cruiserweight Championship at Halloween Horror and he’ll be facing Traci Lane for that title at “Deck The Halls”
The following matches have been signed for this event just this week:
Executioner was scheduled to defend the Internet Title against Monica Brant. However, as of this moment, I do believe that Davey Scott is the North American Champion, so I’m assuming Scott will defend that belt against Brant. We will have to get a ruling on that soon.
Also scheduled, Virgo will defend the UCP TV Championship against Asian Invasion.
“The Enforcer” Adam Sanchez will be taking on “The Enforcer” Rachel Ryan. Stipulations for this match are still being considered.
Now we have heard Virgo challenge Mr. America to a 5 on 5 cage/elimination match. We are still awaiting Mr. America’s reply to that, and we’ll hopefully have word on that next week.
That’s all the news I have for this week, back to Sacramento!
UCP Championship: Traci Lane vs. Taleis
Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, would you please welcome at this time, the man who will challenge Traci Lane for the UCP Cruiserweight Championship in our main event. He is a former UCP Television Champion. Taleis!
“Sweet Dreams” by Marilyn Manson begins playing over the PA. The lights dim, and a purple spotlight shines on the aisle. Taleis walks out into the aisle, clad in his ring attire. The purple spotlight follows him down the aisle as the fans let Taleis know how they feel by tossing trash and insults in his path. Taleis smirks at the crowd for a moment, then climbs the ringsteps and slingshots himself over the top rope. Taleis asks for the mic from the ring announcer, and promptly receives it. The lights go back up, and Taleis stands in the middle of the ring.]
Taleis: Tonight’s the night, folks. Tonight, I either seize my destiny in these two hands and ride it to the top of the UCP, or the reins slip out of my hand and it bucks me off onto my ass. I know a lot of you probably don’t care. In fact, most of you are probably rooting for my opponent. That’s fine with me, though. I certainly didn’t come out here to be liked.
Taleis gives the crowd a flippant grin, and starts walking around the ring.]
Taleis: Traci, I don’t know if you listened to my last interview or not. I suppose you at least caught the end, since you accepted this match. If you listened to the whole thing, that’s good but in case you didn’t, I’ll sum it up for you. I challenged you, not because you’ve got a title, not because I have some sort of personal grievance towards you, but because you’re the best this federation has to offer, talent-wise. According to the fact that you’re the UCP Cruiserweight champ. I wanted this match to prove something. It either proves that you’re the best, and you deserve that belt that’s around your waist. Or it proves that I’m the best, and it should be around mine. This is my big chance to prove to myself something that I’ve believed for a long time now. That I [Taleis points to himself: am the best in the UCP.
Taleis puts his hand down, then takes a deep breath.]
Taleis: Starting to repeat myself a little bit here, so I’ll cut this off before I fall victim to Davey Scott syndrome. UCP, there have been some great names holding this championship belt. Of course, most those names came from the OWA days. While the name’s changed, the belt still means the same thing. People like Freddy Fever, Stacks Coltrain, Anthony Hazard, Traci Lane, and Amazon Woman. Despite the fact that I don’t like one of em, they were all champions at one point or another, and they’re probably the most we’ll known names in UCP/OWA history. Tonight, my name is going to be listed among those champions or I’ll just be another notch in Traci Lane’s belt.
Taleis looks directly into the camera, his eyes quite intense.]
Taleis: Traci, good luck tonight. I think you just might need it.
Taleis drops the mic and gets ready to wrestle.]
Ed: Taleis with a few things to say before his match with Traci Lane.
Biff: No comment because that’d be considered bad. Taleis gets enough slack as is.
Biff gives a slick grin to the camera.]
Ring Announcer: His opponent! Here is the current UCP Champion, the “Black Widow” Traci Lane!
(The opening strains of “Fire Woman” by The Cult begin with a slow picking and strumming of an electric guitar; the drums start pounding, the tempo increases, then with an explosion of sonic fury, the song kicks into high gear, chain-saw riffs juxtaposing with howling vocals to electrify the listener. A prismatic eruption of fireworks frames the entranceway as Traci “The Black Widow” Lane strides out to a deafening crowd pop, clad in a black pelvic leotard and matching crop-top bearing a red hourglass. The UCP Title is firmly clipped to her waist. She waves to the fans as she strides down the aisle, then hops onto the apron and slips into the ring.)
Ed: Lane hops into the ring.
Biff: Duh! Like none of us just saw that happen.
Ed: These two are ready to go. Lane hands the belt to the ref and there’s the bell.
Biff: Why do you always get to start these things?
Ed: I’m the play-by-play man.
Biff: Ah. There’s the lock up!
Biff: Lane with a whip into the ropes and she takes Taleis over with a powerslam! She hooks a leg! One, t. Taleis kicks out! They both get back to their feet and lock up. Taleis forces Lane to the corner. He whips her into the opposing turnbuckle and charges in with a handspring elbow! Taleis with a Russian legsweep and he grabs the leg of Lane. Spinning toe hold, he drops and puts on a figure-four leglock! He’s got Lane in the middle of the ring.
Ed: He’s going with a good strategy. Lane inching her way to the ropes and she makes it. Taleis breaks the hold, but takes Lane down with another Russian legsweep as she gets to her feet. He applies that figure-four leglock again! Lane reaching for the ropes again. Taleis breaks the hold. Taleis pulls Lane back to the center of the ring and applies an octopus hold!
Biff: He’s got it on, but not synched in’ Lane hiptosses Taleis off of her, and that didn’t sound too good.
Ed: No it didn’t.
Biff: Lane tosses Taleis out of the ring and follows him out! She whips him into the guardrail. Now the ringsteps. She nails him with a Russian legsweep! She whips him into the guardrail again! Lane grabs the arm of Taleis and wraps it around the ringpost! She does it again and then slides into the ring. Taleis follows Lane back into the ring and Lane applies an armbar submission! Taleis reaches the ropes, but the damage has been done!
Ed: Lane pulls Taleis to his feet and applies a hammerlock. She scoops him up and bodyslams him onto that arm! Taleis hits the mat and Lane straddles Taleis and applies an armbar! She pulls that arm out and drops a knee onto it and applies the armbar again!
Biff: Lane is really going to work on that arm. Taleis gets to the ropes and Lane breaks the hold. Lane whips Taleis into the ropes and takes him to the mat with a backdrop! Taleis back to his feet and Lane forces him to the turnbuckle. She whips Taleis to the opposite end, but Taleis reverses it! Lane staggers out and his met with an elbow from Taleis!
Ed: Taleis takes Lane down with a kneebreaker and hits he applies that figure-four leglock again! This time, he’s closer to the ropes.
Biff: The ref asks Lane and she shakes her head, and Taleis grabs the ropes for added leverage! The ref doesn’t see it and Lane’s face is in more pain! The ref looks over and Taleis has let go of the ropes! He’s got the hold on still and Lane tries to pull towards the ropes, but Taleis grabs them again as the ref asks Lane again!
Ed: She shakes her head and the ref sees Taleis with the ropes! He’s telling Taleis to break the hold. Taleis breaks the hold. He heads to the outside of the ring. Lane gets to her feet and she’s favoring that knee. Taleis with a springboard dropkick and he lands on his arm!
Biff: Taleis in obvious pain and he signals for the Military Press Diamond Cutter. He hoists Lane up, but his arm can’t hold her up there! He drops her and falls to the mat himself, holding his arm! Lane back to her feet as and pulls Taleis to his! Russian Legsweep! She hoists Taleis up for the Gorilla Press Piledriver! HER LEG GIVES OUT!
Ed: Taleis floats down her back and goes for a sunset flip, but Lane counters with a sit down and grabs a leg! ONE, TWO, THREE!
Biff: D. oh!!!
Ed: Lane with the win! She retrains the title!
Ring Announcer: The winner of the match, and STILL the UCP Champion, the “Black Widow” Traci Lane!! The time of match was. Ah hell who cares?
Biff: Uh oh, it appears we have a disgruntled worker on our hands.
Ed: Lane with a great counter move to retain her title and that’s all the time we have for tonight folks. Stay tuned for that special press conference, but for Biff
Scene changes to a special room where reporters and photographers and camera men are awaiting the arrival of UCP Commissioner Stevie. Soon, camera start flashing as the commissioner makes his way to the front of the room.]
Stevie: Thanks for coming on such short notice.
Commissioner tosses the Internet Belt on the table in front of the podium. You can see it littered with catsup, mustard and some relish.]
Stevie: First let me announce that Davey Scott has been stripped of the North American Championship after his disgusting display. I hereby declare this title vacant. Let me also announce that this title is hereby going into retirement due to my next announcement. As you know, we have gone through some changes moving from the OWA which was one at the top of the wrestling food chain. As ratings and buy rates declined, we took a brief hiatus to make some adjustments to our product. So we became the UCP and focus on a weight-based wrestling organization. However, I feel that has really hindered us in providing the best product we can to our fans. Therefore.
A hush comes over the crowd…]
Stevie: For the past several weeks, I have been in negotiations with a group known as World Freestyle Wrestling. These negotiations include the purchase of Universal Cruiser Pro. As of noon today, these negotiations were made final and UCP is now a wholly own subsidiary of the WFW.
The WFW has come into existence to purchase wrestling federations in order to create a positive wrestling experience for the fan as we’ll as the individual wrestlers involved. UCP is the first federation to be purchased by WFW, however it will not be the last. At least 2 other federations are in negotiations with WFW and may soon come to agreements with them.
The WFW will allow the federations to remain on their own, and I will continue to be the commissioner of this branch of the WFW.
However, a few changes are being made by WFW within the UCP and they are as follows:
1) Only 2 single belts are allowed. I was worried at first as to which title I would be dropping. However, Davey Scott made that choice all the more easier. UCP will retain the UCP Title, currently held by Traci Lane and the UCP TV Championship, held by Virgo.
2) WFW has instructed UCP to limit their touring to the Western United States.
3) WFW has also approved the name change from Universal Cruiser Pro to Western States Championship Wrestling or the WSCW, to reflect our more regional status. Our offices will be moving from Dallas to Seattle Washington within the next week.
4) WFW is planning on creating the World Freestyle Wrestling World Championship, and will have a tournament sometime early in 1998. The top wrestlers under the WFW banner will compete, live on PPV for that crown and will be traveling around the world to defend it.
Now these are just a few of the changes you’ll see from WFW and WSCW right away. Other announcements will be made as other federations are added to the WFW. Now, I have time to take a few questions.
Reporter #1: Since you knew you’d be making this announcement, did you instruct Davey Scott to toss that title in the trash can?
Stevie: Absolutely not. In fact, my original intent would have been to take the TV Championship and toss that one out, however, when I saw Davey Scott toss that title into the trash can, I knew that my decision was made that much easier.
Reporter #2: Which states will be covered by the WSCW?
Stevie: As it stands, the following states will be toured by WSCW in the next year: Washington, Oregon, California, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Idaho, Wyoming and Montana.
Reporter #3: Will this hurt TV ratings at all?
Stevie: Actually, regionalizing is a very good strategy at this point and time in professional wrestling. WFW isn’t pulling our TV shows from stations around the country. We will keep our current base, but add more stations to those states in our territory. I have time for one more question.
Reporter #4: Will these changes effect “Deck The Halls” in any way?
Stevie: As far as I can see, the only person affected in Monica Brant. However, I’ve been guaranteed that Monica Brant will be allowed into the WFW World Title tournament, in 1998. Her position at Deck the Halls in a bit uncertain at this time. She is due a title shot, and we will do what we can to make that right with her.
Reporters are shouting more questions as Stevie heads out of the room, and the camera fades.]