UCP The Gospel Truth 10-19-1997

Breaking news regarding Freddy Fever; Traci Lane defends the UCP Championship against Virgo; Taleis is also in action

Davey Scott

Walking down the street, Davey just looks like he was taking a leisurely walk, however he looks disturbed as he was being followed as well. He didn’t want to deal with those camera, but he finally stopped as they were being very persistent, and to him, overly annoying.]

Davey: You want airtime? Ok, I will give you more free airtime, but next time you pay for it. Well, UCP decides to send me into Halloween Horror, and most likely against the ditz of the UCP, the Pretty Boy. This so called Family man seems to be keep trying to make his comeback to the OWA, and the UCP, which all ends in failure. Let me make one thing clear, nobody gives a [censor: about Pretty Boy’s anymore, trust me. I know, so cut the crap, and get down to business. When the name horror comes to mind, I used to sit down and read a good Stephen King novel. Now, when Horror comes, the demon has resurrected and came to reclaim and dominate the world. I am the demon that resurrected, and I shall offer no pity, no comfort, no remorse. When I step into the ring, when I crush your soul and ego, I shall not turn back for remorse, I shall not pity you, I shall despise you as far as despise goes. I am the living devil roaming around, and conquering the weak shallow men and women of the world! Send your best to me, and they will all walk away. In misery. [Davey walks away, into the sunset.] [FADE]

The scene cuts to where Elaine Bryant, Shelly Marks, and Mr. America are sitting behind a desk.]

Elaine: Welcome to the Gospel Truth everyone. We just heard from Davey Scott in the opening part of the program. Shelly Marks is with me along with resident UCP wrestler, Mr. America.

Shelly: Scott isn’t messing around with Pretty Boy Monty at all. He’s focused on him for Halloween Horror.

Mr. America: Yeah, it’s funny though because he talks about his old pretty boy image and then dropping it. I’ll give Monty props, at least Monty hasn’t changed himself every other day.

Shelly: Let’s head to when our camera man caught up with Shiva.

Shiva

Scene opens into the same smoky nightclub, with Shiva in her nightly post at the back of the joint. The cameraman, in a limping fashion, makes his way back to Shiva’s table. Shiva looks over to him and smirks.]

Shiva: That‘ll learn ya a little about ending shows, won’t it?

The reporter makes his way back to the table, wiping a spilt beer off his coat.]

Reporter: Ugh. How can you stand it in this dump?

Shiva: Pays the bills. So why are you two back here anyways? Didn’t Cooky-baby explain to you I don’t like being interviewed?

Reporter: We came to get your reaction on the recent signing at Halloween Horror against the mighty Mariko.

Shiva: Who?

Reporter: Mariko, one of the Femmes Fatale. She’s held numerous belts in the former OWA. {Shiva looks at the reporter blankly.) You have done your research on your opponents in the UCP, haven’t you? (Shiva gestures she hasn’t.) Don’t you care who you face? (Again gesturing to the negative.) How do you expect to get anywhere in here then?

Shiva: It’s simple. I go in, beat someone up, get money, and maybe even a gaudy belt which I’d never wear.

The radio crackles again: Shiva, front desk. Need you for customer relations.

Shiva, shaking her head. : God no why now?

(She gets up and goes to the bar, where there’s a little man seeming to make some kind of disturbance.)

Lil Guy: Using such filthy language in front of the customers. You all should be fired! You have truly and utterly offended me, and I’m gonna see to it this place is gonna get closed down!
(Shiva sneaks up on hi, rests an arm on his shoulder.)

Shiva: What seems to be the problem here, luv?

Lil Guy: Ewww and now creepy women are trying to molest me! (Shiva chuckles.) You should be canned too for putting such a flirtatious display on in front of the customers. I’m never coming in here again!

Shiva: You’ll be missed. Can I help you outside?

Lil guy: Yes you can. Lemme get my things and I’ll be gone.

Scene outside the nightclub. Serene night except for the colored lights from inside. All of a sudden, the little man flies through the window of the place and crumples to the ground upon hitting. He scampers off into the night.]

Scene goes back to Shiva’s table, with the reporter and the cameraman.]

Reporter: Umm. Don’t you think that was excessive?

Shiva: Wha’? You wanna go the same way? (glares at him)

Reporter: Umm. Uhh. No.

Shiva: Of course it was excessive. No reason to do it any other way. I got him to shut up didn’t I? (Reporter stumbles on his words.) And that’s what this Mariko guy, girl, whatever is gonna get. Now, interview over. Go play elsewhere. I have a few more hours of preening time left in this night and I’m tired of talking to a wall. Goodbye. (The camera’s video cuts out.)

Shiva, from black: Gee. He learns quickly.

Elaine: I’m surprised that Shiva isn’t taking Mariko that seriously. Mariko is one of the better known women wrestlers in the UCP. The question of whether she’s a Femme or not is still in question.

Shelly: Shiva has a quiet confidence about her and you can see that easily.

Mr. America: Yeah, she doesn’t like to talk, but she’s gonna learn that by keeping a presence here is half of what you need to do. The other half we’ll have to see when she takes on Mariko.

Elaine: Up next we have the man who will face Consuelo for the Internet title at Halloween Horror, Executioner. He had a rough match last week, but gets his title shot at Halloween Horror – however, his anger is directed in a different direction this week.

Executioner

[Executioner is sitting on a leather couch inside the Crew’s jungle mansion, he has a large ice pack on the back of his head, and is watching replays of last week’s match with Consuelo]

Executioner:
Damn I had that match won, and friggin’ Brant decides to make a statement with Consuelo?, I had that damn match won Brant and you had to go and stick your nose in my business, another Loser that can’t win a match fair, jumping into one of my matches, You know this is really starting to piss me off. And I’m getting really sick and tired of idiots interfering in other people’s matches with no consequences whatsoever.

[Ex hits the rewind button and watches again as Brant hits him from behind with a loaded purse, knocking him out and then going after Consuelo]

Executioner: Ahhhhhhhh. Brant you better get more than that loaded purse you have, and you better get some backup in a hurry, cause if the Commish will not do anything to pieces of garbage like you for your cowardice then I may have to take it upon myself to rectify this situation. I have never been one to interfere in matches or jump someone from behind, but for you Brant I may just make an exception……Consuelo the fans and both of us were cheated out of a great match and I hope we can get through Halloween Horror without any interference so we can see who the better wrestler is, I do not take any pride in the victory I got over you and I plan on fixing that and beating you fair and square, In the middle of the ring Prepare Consuelo I will be back…..

Mr. America: I actually seem to recall it was Executioner who interfered in a match that Virgo had awhile back, but I digress.

Elaine: I’m not sure about that, but Executioner isn’t happy with his win. He still goes on to face Consuelo for the title at Halloween Horror.

Shelly: I’m sure he wants some measure of revenge against Monica Brant. We’ll see if he has to wait. Up next is the UCP Television Champion, Taleis — and a friend of yours, it seems, in a match. Let’s head to the ring area with Ed and Biff.

UCP TV Championship: Joe B Jobber vs. Taleis

Ed: Coming up next, we have the current UCP Television champion, Taleis, defending against the UCP’s resident, um…

Biff: Whipping boy?

Ed: Not the term I’d have chosen, but I suppose it works. Anyway, Taleis will be facing Joe B. Jobber in this title defense, keeping true to his word of defending the belt weekly.
Biff: _I_ could defend the belt against this guy, and I’m retired. Give me a break!

Ed: Here comes Jobber.

Joe B. Jobber walks down to the ring, receiving little crowd reaction, except for one fan who tries to get a “Jobber! Jobber!” chant going. Of course, he fails abysmally, and Jobber enters the ring to total silence.]

Biff: And Here’s the UCP Television champ.

“Beautiful People” by Marilyn Manson plays over the PA. The arena goes dark, and dark purple spotlights line the aisle as Taleis walks down, the UCP Television title around his waist.]

Ed: Coming to the ring, weighing in at 237 pounds. This is the UCP TV champion, Taleis. He climbs the ringsteps and steps through the ropes and pounces on the unaware Jobber. Taleis sends him into the ropes — and nails him with a flying forearm. Taleis picks him up. Russian Legsweep. Now he applies a figure-four leglock, but Jobber grabs the ropes, and Taleis is forced to let go.

Biff: Hmph. Taleis picks up Jobber now. Jumping DDT by Taleis sends him right back down. Taleis puts Jobber up on the top rope, he climbs up along with him and nails Jobber with a top rope hurricanrana!

Ed: Nice move. Taleis picks Jobber up now, sends him into the ropes — no, Jobber hooks the ropes and punches Taleis in the mouth! He hits him again, a body shot, and Taleis stumbles back. No, he’s setting up — and Taleis just blasted Jobber with a superkick!

Biff: Taleis runs his thumb across his throat, kicks Jobber in the gut. Piledriver by Taleis, and now he’s going up top.

Ed: Jobber is up to his feet, if barely. Taleis leaps. Flying Diamond Cutter! Taleis with the cover. one. two. three, and he has won this matchup. Taleis building momentum for Halloween Horror, when he faces off against Virgo, who defeated Taleis’ partner Mr. America in a roof match at Crime Spree to capture the OWA TV Title awhile back.

Biff: Thank God this is over. Ed: Back to Shelly and Elaine in the control center.

Mr. America: Taleis shows that bum how to wrestle and why he’s the Television champ.

Shelly: Taleis with an impressive win tonight. We’ll see how he fairs against Virgo. We’ll see Virgo later on tonight as we’ll as he takes on Traci Lane for the UCP title.

Elaine: Let’s get a few words from Taleis.

Taleis

The setting is what appears to be a living room. There’s a futon sitting by the far wall, and an easy chair opposite it. Decorating the walls are various framed items, mainly pictures of unknown people. However, hanging on the walls are some wrestling championship belts. The camera focuses on them, panning to each of them after a short time. First, the HWF Cruiserweight title. The IFWF Cruiserweight title. The YEWF Cruiserweight title. Then, the old OWA Television championship belt and finally, the UCP Television title. The camera then pans over and shows a grinning Taleis, who is leaning back in a recliner by a good-sized picture window.]

Taleis: Ah, all my wrestling achievements, accolades, and what not. They all preside on that wall. Three Cruiserweight championships, and the OWA/UCP TV Title. Am I proud of that? Damn right I am. You see, there are those out there who would look at the TV Title and say. “So what?” Well, my friend, in my opinion, the TV Title is the TRUE measure of how good you are. If you win it. That’s fine. That proves you can beat one person, one time. However, holding on to the TV Title. That proves that you can come in, day after day, week after week, and walk out holding the title. This belt [points to the UCP TV Title: is defended every week. Is the Cruiserweight Title defended every week? No. The Internet title? Nope. The tag titles. Hell, those aren’t even around anymore. The point is that whoever holds this belt has to come out every week and work his, or her, ass off. Whoever holds this belt is, truly, a FIGHTING champion. I intend to prove it at Halloween Horror.

Taleis stands up, and walks over to the Title wall. He grabs the UCP TV belt, and folds it up. He walks back to his chair, swivels to face the camera, and sit down, placing the belt in his lap.]

Taleis: where I’ll put this belt on the line against none other than the FORMER UCP Television champion, Virgo. Virgo, you may have beaten my good friend Mr. America to claim this belt the first go-round but that was in a roof match, and your win was a total fluke. Now you have to face off against me in a real, in-the-ring encounter — and, quite frankly, there are very few people here who could defeat yours truly in a real wrestling match. I’m way out of your league, Virgo, and at Halloween Horror, not only will I defeat you, I’ll also go out of my way to HUMILIATE you. I’ll make you look so bad that you’ll never be able to show your face in a UCP arena without being laughed right back out of it. Speaking of looking bad.

Taleis starts to laugh.]

Taleis: Man, how about that old dirt bag Anthony Hazard? First, he dumps his manager, who probably guided him to more success than he would have EVER seen by himself, and then he goes out and gets humbled by yours truly! I mean, let’s be realistic. Anthony Hazard — former OWA World Champion. People looked at that matchup and said, “Hazard in a blowout.” right? Well, I certainly hated to disappoint you all, but the opportunity was there, and I just had to snatch it up! Hazard, take a lesson from that matchup — your time has passed. Move on to something safer for you. Maybe accounting. Or banking. Leave the wrestling to those of us more suited for it.

Taleis smirks at the camera, then holds up the UCP TV Title.]

Taleis: And as for you, Asian Invasion, if you really want a shot at this, feel free to stop on by the UCP offices and sign a contract. As a matter of fact, if ANYBODY wants this title. The contract is open, and as far as I’m concerned, it always will be. No matter who it is, or where it is. Be it Traci Lane, Consuelo Salyards, Freddy Fever, or Ricky Hype — feel free to sign the dotted line, and I’ll give you the wrestling lesson of a lifetime.

Taleis tosses the belt aside.]

Taleis: That’s all for now, folks but look for an exhibition of sorts this weekend. Virgo, Halloween may be a time for trick-or-treating, but believe me, this Halloween will be anything BUT a treat for you. See you in the ring.

Fade to black]

Elaine: Taleis had some strong words for his opponent at Halloween Horror. We’ll see how we’ll he can do against Virgo in the rematch.

Shelly: It was Taleis who won the belt in a four way match after putting Rachel Ryan through a table with his flying diamond cutter finisher.

Mr. America: Yep and I helped him on some weak points he had. Now look at him. With my managing and Taleis’ natural ability, Virgo’s going to be humiliated. He’s already done that with that Equalizer stuff. Taleis is just going to be the hell out of him.

Shelly: Strong words for you Mr. America. We’ll have to wait and see at Halloween Horror. Up next we have Godiva Rage.

Godiva Rage

Club Rage is pumping as usual, beats and rhymes flooding the atmosphere with their energy. The bass line thumps, the place jumps. It’s a party and it’s all the way live. The ghetto fabulous mix with the pure players. There are a couple Knicks in the house. A few Yankees and Mets out to check the scene, too. The cameras weave through the dancers to center floor where Godiva Rage holds court, gettin’ on bad with a muscular brother in denim overalls and boots with no shirt and gold sunglasses. The lights shine off his polished bald head. His brow is beaded with sweat. How much of that is from dancing is unknown. Godiva seems intent on making him sweat even more, though. The British Bombshell is backed up against his groin, if you pardon the expression. Workin’ that ass, with a nasty booty bounce. She’s out roughneck style tonight, her tawny locks hidden up underneath a man’s bowler hat. She’s wearing wide-legged jeans slung low on her hips so the cut of her French bikini underwear is clearly visible. She is decked out in heavy, thick-soled Lugz and a white, sweat-soaked bra top under a silver, quilted bomber jacket. She moves like a snake, totally oblivious to everything but the music. Here she gets as nasty as she wants to be.]

Cameraman: (shouting) Miss Rage, Miss Rage, could I get a few words with you for the next UCP broadcast.

Godiva: (dancing on, oblivious) C’mon, ride it. Ride it, ride me bumper! Ride me bumper!

Cameraman: Miss Rage. Miss Rage!

Godiva snaps out of her reverie. She stops, crossing her arms crossly. The man behind her gives the camera a murderous stare.]

Godiva: Crikey, wot is it? You can’t see I’m a bit preoccupied right now? I mean damn. How’d you like it if I just busted in on you snogging with your boyfriend, wife or wotever it is you got at ‘ome? I ‘ear one in 12 American men be doin’ it wit farm animals. That true, Yank?

Cameraman: (clearing his throat) I wouldn’t, um, I wouldn’t know.

Godiva: (winking) Course you wouldn’t. You’re a good boy, aren’t you? Say your prayers every night I bet ‘Fore ya go ta sleep dreamin’ ‘bout lit’le fuzzy white sheep, right?
Cameraman: I just wanted to ask you about the UCP.

Godiva: (dancing again) Wot about them?

Cameraman: There are rumors that you’re going to be joining the Femmes.

Godiva: (pausing) The who? Femmes? Godiva Rage, Femme. Not even a Fatale?

Cameraman: Well, Traci Lane was discussing the possibility of it.

Godiva: (dancing again, waving her hat about as she shakes free her hair) And? Why you comin’ to me then, Yank?

Cameraman: Are you going to be joining the Femmes?

Godiva: I don’t even ruddy know who they are and wot they about. Why you askin’ me all these questions, lad? I’m a Rage. We work in mysterious ways, you know.

Cameraman: Traci Lane says she met you while she was at Cambridge.

Godiva: (stopping in mid step and laughing so hard she has to hold her stomach) Did she now. Cambridge? Ooh la, I wonder when I was at some posh university like tha? Oh yeah, it must be in the back of police car. Luv, you got the wrong girl. I ain’t never been to Cambridge. I didn’t make it much past O levels, you know. Wasn’t really me aptitude. They didn’t ‘ave no courses in snoggin and chattin’ up folks or knockin’ out teeth in a pub brawl, you know what I mean.

Godiva spins to face her partner, weaving and snaking around him.: You gots me curious, though, about this Traci Lane. She sounds like a bit of all right wit her lovely storytelling, wot? I might be very keen on meetin’ ’er. Tell you what, go back and tell the lass that I’d like to have a little sit down tete-a-tete convo wit’ ‘er. This looks to be rather like an interestin’ partnership if you ask me.

Cameraman: so you will be joining the Femmes?

Godiva is on her knees on the floor now, making suggestive movements that the camera dutifully cuts away from]

Godiva: (off camera) You tell ‘em this for me, Johnny boy, you tell ‘em that ‘diva’s comin’ for all those ducks and soon I’ll be runnin’ things in the UCP. All right? You tell. em, that. Now get out of me place, all right?

Fade out]

Shelly: It looks like Godiva turned down an offer to be in the Femmes. We haven’t heard anythying from Traci about that and I’m sure we will soon enough.

Mr. America: Yank? We’ll if the camera man is from the north then I’m sure he’s a Yank. Otherwise he’s gonna be a bit upset if he’s from the South. Either way, her talk about the sexual preferences really didn’t need to be there, then again. We’re talking about a Rage here and they do work in mysterious ways.

Elaine: Godiva has her sights aimed on the top of the UCP charts.

Mr. America: Yeah and she’s gonna get knocked back down by a big shield in a red, white, and blue singlet.

Shelly: We’ll see about that. We have comments from Mariko next.

Mariko

Mariko is glaring at the camera, having just finished a training match with a 280 lb jobber lasting a full 60 minutes.]

Mariko: So Shiva, you seem to do we’ll against drunken bums in bars; what about highly skilled wrestlers in a ring? Can you handle being folded into a pretzel or having a few bones broken? You are another of those big show-offs who strut around like the queen, but really are nothing but over-rated clowns. When you feel my power you will cringe and retreat back to your bars and stay with the drunks. This is the UCP, not the Bowery. Stay away if you know what is good for you. Sayonara, Shiva-san.”

Elaine: Short, sweet, and to the point. Mariko is a woman of very few words and more actions. I wish some other people would be like that.

Shelly: Yeah.

Mr. America: Yeah, and I remember when Mariko had a problem with me. Heh, nothing every came of it and I’m sure nothing ever will because it’d be just another jog through the park for me and a reminder of the outcome of World War II for her.

Elaine: Let’s head over to Monica Brant for comments.

Monica Brant

(The camera opens on some kind of boutique. The decorations and style of the place is very baroque, ornamentation and gold glitters everywhere. Amongst all of this, three hairstylers seem to be crowded around one chair, the only occupied chair in the building. One woman is working on a pedicure, while two men discuss what to do with the golden blond hair that spills over the back of the chair.)

Styler #1: (Seeing the camera)NO!! Get out, no cameras while we are working!

Customer: Now, boys, behave. They aren’t here to see you.

(The camera turns and catches the reflection of the woman in the chair. It’s “Mistress” Monica Brant. She has an expression of contentment on her face as she waves one we’ll manicured hand at the camera.)

Monica: Ahhh. I love this. Being pampered and treated like the goddess that I am. (She giggles) Hello, all of you out there in TV land. Hello, Consuelo, great match last Saturday. I must say, you looked marvelous. I always said you looked beautiful in make-up, but you never listened. Just like the rest of the Femmes never listened to me. (Monica’s eyes burn with rage for a moment, and then soften.) So, you had to be shown, just like the rest of the world. Oh well.

Styler #2: Please, Miss Brant, you must keep still if we are to work on your hair.

Monica: (Leaning back in the chair.)Ahh. Artists. (She smiles, briefly, then becomes all business.) I invited you here because this is the only free time I have in my busy schedule. You see, I’m getting ready for Halloween. And no, I don’t plan on trick or treating, that’s not my style. I plan on calling out one of my old…. friends. , Rachel Ryan. Now, Rachel, I know you and I haven’t always gotten along in the past, and so I hope you don’t take it personally when I have to destroy you in order to prove myself to the UCP, and to the Femmes. (Monica closes her eyes, seems to relax, and then opens them.) Oh, of course, there is the possibility you won’t accept my challenge. That wouldn’t be good, though. Ask Consuela. In the end, I always get my way. That why I’m the Mistress. (Winks at the camera, and then settles down in the chair.) You may go now. (The camera view fades to black.)

Shelly: It would appear that Monica Brant is on a crusade to prove to the Femmes that she’s better now than she was with them.

Mr. America: Yeah, and speaking from the other side of the fence. She goes against an alliance by herself, shell get destroyed in no time.

Elaine: You tried it a couple times here.

Mr. America: Yeah, but there’s a difference. I’m what every American aspires to be, and Monica. Well, Monica’s nothing but a cheap K-Mart substitute for an Armani suit.

Shelly: Asian Invasion is next.

Asian Invasion

(The scene opens to show Asian Invasion lounging poolside in a plush mountain resort. The camera goes through several screens of him playing golf, working out, and dancing with the Spice Girls on top of his “The Way It Is” bus. It then cuts to Asian, inside the bus.)

Asian Invasion: We’ll hello out there UCPers, and welcome to The Way It Is. I have two things to talk about today, the first is just a message for Mrs. America. America, I hear you whine and cry all the time about how you are the man, but that’s just you. You ask. What have you done since I was with you in The Evil Empire? I’ve been winning, and training. I hope that I get to meet you at the pay per view, and I can’t wait. You can go on and TALK about how you carried The Evil Empire back in the day, but live in the facts America, I played you like a fool to earn myself the TV Title. And that brings us to my other thing. For months and months, I’ve been the TRUE TV champion. Whether it be the OWA or the UCP, that belt is mine, and I can’t wait to prove it to all you fools. I’m gonna show you all that Asian Invasion ALWAYS gets what is his, and That’s The Way It Is.

Elaine: Asian Invasion is still on his quest to win the TV title back.

Mr. America: Yeah, he’s still the same old Asian he was for a long time. I’ll address him a bit later though.

Shelly: When?

Mr. America: After the show. I’m here so I decided to do my interview from here.

Elaine and Shelly groan.]

Elaine: Let’s head to Ed and Biff for our main event as Traci Lane defends the UCP title against Virgo.

UCP Championship: Traci Lane vs. Virgo

Ed: The following contest is bound to be a real barnburner, ladies and gentlemen. We’ve got the always-controversial Virgo challenging Traci Lane for the UCP championship.

Biff: This will be a big one, no doubt about it, and I’m looking for Virgo to show a few new wrinkles to his offense. I’m predicting that he’s gonna TAKE the UCP belt today!

Ed: Is that anything like your prediction of a Braves/Orioles World Series?

Biff: Uh. Let’s get the introductions on this match! (The announcer stands in the ring, dressed in a black tux and bowtie. He raises the mic and begins to speak.)

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a contest for the UCP WORLD TITLE, set for one fall. Introducing first. This is Virgo! (Virgo strides out to the ring, then hops up to the apron and steps through the ropes.)

Announcer: And now coming to the ring. She weighs in at 194 pounds. She is the current UCP World Heavyweight Champion. Here is. The Black Widow, Traci Lane!!! (Traci emerges with the title belt strapped firmly around her waist, waving to the crowd. She makes a tour of ringside, slapping a few hands, before sliding into the ring and handing the belt to the official.)
Ed: Both our competitors facing off, ready for action. There’s the bell, and we have a collar-and-elbow tie-up. They’re struggling for position, and Traci Lane slowly forcing him back into the corner. The official calls for the break, and she backs away cleanly.

Biff: Traci Lane proving that she’s lost her edge. That was a BEAUTIFUL chance for a cheap shot!

Ed: Traci doesn’t wrestle that way, Biff! She’s a sportsman.

Biff: I liked her better when she wasn’t such a goody-goody. She really got things done!

Ed: Whatever, Biff. They’ve locked back up, and it looks like another test of strength — no! Virgo with a knee to the midsection. He scoops her up — big bodyslam! Now he drops an elbow on her! He sets to drop another — and she rolls aside! Virgo back to his feet, and sent down with a BEAUTIFUL dropkick!

Biff: Traci moves behind him, and sinks in a chinlock. Virgo struggling as she sets the knee into the back of his neck. Geez, I hope this doesn’t turn into some kind of scientific exposition. I want action!

Ed: Don’t worry, I think there’ll be plenty of that. Virgo back to his feet, Traci shifts to a side headlock. Virgo with a waistlock, and he hits her with a back suplex!

Biff: Great counter for that headlock! They’re back up, and he forces her into the ropes. Whip across the ring, and he meets her with a DEVASTATING clothesline!

Ed: Her head really snapped back with that one. Now he backs up, sets himself, and nails her with a kneedrop. There’s another! He looks like he’s really trying to keep her on the ground.

Biff: That’s smart — she’s got a powerful offense when she gets going. Virgo yanks her up, and tosses her into the corner. There’s a chop and another….and another! Where’s the Nature Boy when you need him?

Ed: Traci really rocked by those chops. Now he Irish whips her across the ring, and she lands HARD in the opposing turnbuckle. She staggers out, and Virgo meets her with a clothesline. He yanks her up, sets her — DDT!!!

Biff: I told you! I told you he’d be taking the title today!

Ed: Don’t count your chickens just yet, Biff. Virgo with a cover. one. two. Kickout by Lane. He pulls her into his arms, and sticks an atomic drop. She’s staggered, and he clotheslines her from behind.

Biff: Virgo really relying on those clotheslines. They’re proving effective against The Black Widow.

Ed: Now Virgo with a front facelock. He grinds it in, keeping her on grounded. Lane slapping the mat, trying to get some momentum back, and the fans responding with claps and cheers.
Biff: So what about the fans? They aren’t in there wrestling! They don’t make any difference at all.

Ed: You’d be surprised, Biff. Traci up to her knees, and now she’s back to her feet. She forces Virgo back into the corner, and he breaks — no! A cheap shot to Traci’s jaw!

Biff: Virgo stuck that jab out there like a pro boxer! Traci turned completely around by it!

Ed: He’s waiting, waiting, she turns — he charges! Lane DUCKS the clothesline, he spins, and she nails him with one of her own!

Biff: Aw, damn. Come on, Virgo!

Ed: Biff! You’re supposed to be impartial!

Biff: I am! I’m just rooting for Virgo!

Ed: You’re pathetic! Traci with a scoop and a slam. Now she picks him up, sets him — and military presses him overhead! What strength! Now she throws him back to the canvas. Traci goes to the second turnbuckle, jumps, and NAILS a forearm to Virgo’s head. There’s a pickup — Russian legsweep!

Biff: If Virgo doesn’t do something to break her momentum, he’s gonna regret it!

Ed: Traci has him in position for a suplex — no! He lands a fist to her midsection, and there’s the reversal! Virgo rising, waiting for her. He jumps, goes for the hurricanrana — and Traci Lane counters with the power bomb!!!

Biff: Awww, nuts!

Ed: Virgo staggers to stand, Traci charges — and clotheslines him over the top rope!

Biff: Yeah, but she went flyin’ over, too! They’re both down!

Ed: Traci up first. She grabs Virgo — he throws her into the ringsteps! OH!!!

Biff: Virgo was playing opossum! Lane never saw that coming!

Ed: She might be hurt. Lane rising slowly, and Virgo right back to the attack. He moves to slam her into the guardrail — reversed! Virgo hits the steel!

Biff: Virgo busted open on that one!

Ed: Lane pulls Virgo to stand, and she’s livid! She bangs him into the ringpost, and Virgo crumples to the concrete! The fans all screaming as she grabs Virgo and rolls him back into the ring. Lane stalking him, and stuffs his head in — she’s going for a big move! BOOM! Jack-knife power bomb!

Biff: Damn! That’s usually the setup for her finisher!

Ed: Looks that way! Traci picks Virgo up, sets him — military press!!! She turns a circle for the crowd, and now — GORILLA PRESS PILEDRIVER!!!

Biff: Oh, MAN! She STUCK it!

Ed: Traci rolls over on top. one. two. THREE!!! And Traci Lane defends the UCP Championship! So much for your prediction, Biff!

Biff: Hey, I can’t be right ALL the time, okay? I’ll settle for 99%.

Ed: Why do I even bother?

Announcer: The winner of the match, in a time of thirteen minutes and 24 seconds. The Black Widow, Traci LAAAAAANE!!!

Ed: Back to Elaine and Shelly in the control center.

Elaine: Traci Lane with a successful defense against Virgo tonight. I don’t think that will hamper Virgo at all. He’s still got his shot for the TV title at Halloween Horror.

Mr. America: Did you expect something different?

Shelly: That’s all for tonight folks.

Mr. America: Hold up. I’m not through yet. If you get up and leave, then I’ll make a personal visit to both of your houses for dinner.

Elaine: Well, then make it quick.

Shelly: Elaine, think about who you’re talking about.

Mr. America

Mr. America: First off, you Asian. You seem to have this idea that you played me for a fool. I’ll admit that I gladly took the loss to let you hold the title. Why? Simple, because that was the only way that you would’ve received attention. Who gave me a shot at it if I wanted it? You did, but I didn’t take it because we were in a team and I was playing the team member. Unfortunately, you and the rest of the collection didn’t know exactly how to do that. I took the alliance to what it was known for. I gave it the reputation because I was the only member that did anything besides sit and twiddle my thumbs. I left and what happened? The whole thing fell to pieces. You were even gone for a time. You say you’ve been training and winning since then, Asian. You’re on the same level you were on when we came up with the Evil Empire. Me? I’ve gone up so many notches it’s not even funny. If you want a match, Asian. Then by all means, I need the win. I’ll show you why it was exactly that you couldn’t amount to anything without me carrying the Empire.

Mr. America leans back and props his feet up onto the desk as Elaine and Shelly sneak off.]

Mr. America: So, the tournament is right around the corner. Everyone knows my goal and I don’t intend to be stopped from it either. I can taste that win and it tastes too sweet to pass up. Once I do win it, that’ll bring me face to face with you Traci. Traci, there’s a level of respect between us as competitors and we’re acquaintances outside of the ring. I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’ve idled for long enough. You’re my target Traci. It’s a matter of business and I plan on being a professional about it. Once it’s all said and done, maybe we can head on down to Freddy’s to pay him a visit. Freddy, we had a problem in the past but low and behold if you win at Halloween Horror, the target shifts to you. Yeah, I still owe you that tab too. Anyways.

Mr. America looks around to see no Elaine and Shelly.]

Mr. America: That’s a wrap.

Breaking News

Scene changes rather abruptly. In the same studios, now dark, Ed Bagel sits]

Ed: We have a late breaking story in in UCP that we felt the fans should know about right away. Early this morning, a car driven by Freddy Fever, was hit by another, almost head on. Freddy Fever was taken immediately to a hospital where he remains in critical condition at this time. Freddy Fever, a former champion here in the federation, sustained a broken elbow, a dislocated knee, a punctured lung and numerous cuts and abrasions. While Fever’s condition is stabilized, he is still unconscious. Upon hearing the news, the UCP board are going to meet to discuss discussion possible replacements in the UCP Cruiserweight Championship match for Halloween Horror, as we’ll as looking into giving financial assistance to the family of Freddy Fever during this tough time.

Once again, Freddy Fever is in critical condition after a devastating crash. We will hopefully have more on this next week during The Gospel Truth.

We here at Universal Cruiser Pro wish Freddy Fever a speedy recovery.

The credits roll and then the screen fades to black.]

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